I'm so sorry.

I don't think anybody ever really "gets over" a loss like this;
I think we just finally accept it, we get used to the pain, & eventually the sharpness of the pain gets blunted or dulled.

&, really, you don't want to "get over" your beloved father;
you want his memory to live on in your heart.

Please stop beating yourself up with what you didn't do.

*You couldn't have known.*

These sudden heart attacks can be devastatingly unexpected.

A couple of years ago, our office celebrated our boss's 40th birthday.

Shortly after that, he moved away to take a better job.

He *loved* his new job, his new home, everything;
it was more money & less stress, & he'd found love as well.

He would post photos on facebook;
he looked good, happy, relaxed, just radiantly healthy & happy.

About 6 weeks ago, at the age of 42, he died in his sleep of a massive heart attack.

Your post just shines with the love you had for your dad;
celebrate that love.

Be patient with yourself,
concentrate on remembering the happy times,
write down your memories.

It helps to get outside & breathe fresh air & take some brisk walks or work in the flower beds;
oxygenated blood pumping into your brain is the best thing I know to lift the mood.

Take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I want you to know how very much you have my deepest sympathy. I lost my step-father of 46 years on January 6, 2015. It is devastating and I still can't believe it happened. It was also a heart attack. Everyone got to say goodbye except me since I live in another state. I feel as though I should have been there because if I had just bought a ticket and flew up there I could have been there but my mother kept saying don't come, we will need you later when he comes home after the surgery. All of this happened in just a matter of a few days anyway so there really wasn't a lot of time to get there. He had the heart attack on December 30 and passed away on January 6 during open heart surgery. He was 78 which doesn't seem old today but certainly much older than your sweet dad. My stepfather was so full of life, everyone loved him, his funeral was attended by hundreds of people lined up past the front doors. He was taking good care of my mother who has a number of ailments. He was worn out maybe from all of it. My mother was struck with a rare disease 6 months before he died. She was in a lot of pain and taking all sorts of medicines. It made her a difficult person. I was so sorry to see it since she wasn't like that before. He was her primary caregiver. I also feel very sorry for my mother who on top of her health issues, then loses her husband. She is doing better now and a new treatment has put her in remission thank the Lord. We are all cherishing our time with her now. …. My own father died when I was very young and my stepfather had been there for most all of my life. It's a loss as great as losing my father.

I know what you are going through and it hurts. From losing my own father when I was young I can tell you that not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Though you never get over it exactly, you do learn to live with it and life does go on. My stepfather's death was so shocking and brought back all the painful loss of my real father. I miss my stepfather so much and am still in disbelief and so very sad that I didn't get to see him one last time before he left this earth. I can so relate to your feelings and please know you are not alone. There are so many of us at our age losing our parents and siblings. It is not easy and takes time to heal. Allow yourself time to grieve.

I hope you won't feel bad for not seeing your father enough (as you mentioned) it's not going to help to make yourself feel so terrible when you are already grieving. Just try to remember the good times, it's what he would want. If you can, be there for your mom as much as is possible. She needs you now and it would make your dad happy to know you are stepping in for him. Good luck and take good care and cry as much as you want to.