My dearest dad passed away...

20 years ago

My dearest dad passed away two weeks ago because of a sudden heartattack. He was only 54...

When it happend, I was studying abroad and no one had my phone number. By the time I checked my email, he was already in the hospital for one day. It took me 18 hours by airplane to get home. When I got to the hospital from the airport and held his hand, I saw a drop of tears falling from the corner of his eyes (he was in comma). Then he passed away. Everyone said he was waiting for me to come home to say goodbye... I was totally in shock. Until now, I still can't believe he's gone... We were so close and I really cannot image the life without him... I was supposed to have my wedding next summer, but now he's gone, I don't think I can do it without him holding my hand...

I just got back to school. There are a lot of papers and exams waiting for me to complete, but I have no energy. I am lost and don't know what to do. I think about him all the time...He did everything for his family but didn't even have chance to see his son and daughters got married and his grandchildren. (I am sure he would be the best grandfather...) I don't know how anyone can ever be over this kind of situation. I can't. I miss him so much.

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Comments (5)

PeaBee4
20 years ago
Before he died, you were overseas, but he was in your heart. Always near to you because you could call on his memory at anytime to feel him near, right? It's going to be a lot like that now. He is still with you in your heart. He will always be there for you to think about and love. I believe with all my heart that he will be able to spend those happy times of marriage and children with you.
abreeze
20 years ago
May God bless and comfort you, Honey. You've had a horrible shock... Thankfully, you were able to get home to hold his hand and kiss him. It's OK to cry. You will grieve, but cruel as it seems, life goes on... Let your instructors know what happened and see if they'll allow you extra time to complete your work and take your exams. God is able to touch their hearts. May He encourage and strengthen you daily... That's all we can handle - one day at a time. ~abreeze
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I'm so sorry. I won't say i know your pain, because i don't, but i have also lost my father suddenly. two weeks ago today i found him in his truck. The medical examiner said it was a massive heart attack. I never and i don't think he knew either that anything was wrong. I love my dad so much! He was the greatest dad ever. He taught me how to fish, hunt, play golf, and anything else i wanted to learn. When i grew up (i'm 34), he was still my favority fishing buddy and golf partner. I can't tell you all the good my dad did for our community. I was so proud of who my dad was, and would brag about him to my friends all the time. he was a great man. Now i can't even think of fishing again, or playing golf. I know he would tell me to go and have fun, but i don't want to. I just want my dad back. I feel cheated. I should have been there, my dad should have never been alone when he went. It probably wouldn't have mattered, but at least ... i maybe could have comforted him in some way. I hope that he wasn't scared or hurting badly. God, why? the weekend before he left us, we were suppose to go fishing, but it poured down the rain. my question is if God knew he was going to take my dad, why couldn't i have that last trip. i know that's selfish, but that's how i feel. I miss him so much. I still need him. Just the other day i said to myself, "dad would know what to do here" and started to call his cell phone, only to realize that it was on the table beside of me. I love you dad, just want you to come home.
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Kelley, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I can't say I understand the pain you are going through (no one can because everyone's grief is different). And I haven't lost my father, But all I can say is that I am glad you were able to spend the last moments/seconds of his life with him & say goodbye. So many people don't get that opporunity. It is precious time. I held my little boy in my arms as he breathed his last breath & I am so grateful I had the chance to hold him & tell him how much I loved him as I had to say goodbye before he was taken away. As heartbreaking as it was (and how that 2 weeks in the hospital will live with me forever), I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was so hard for me to get out of bed for a long time after. And everyday when I look at the clock and it says 8:23am (the time he died). I relive that moment again. Just take each moment at a time & do what you can do to get through. As hard as it is to believe it right now, it will get easier to get through each day. I didn't believe it when everyone said it at first but it does get easier. I still have days that are worse than others but I also have more days where I can be happy & know my son is with me wherever I go & wouldn't want to see me sad. Keep in touch here..This place helped me right from the beginning. I was so glad to find it & glad you did too! Take care of yourself!
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Greetings bengardening, I offer my condolences on the loss of your dear father. We sometimes feel a bit like a boat cast adrift when one of the mainstays of our life ... ... makes that final departure. My Dad, who expected to die a couple of thousand miles from where he grew up and where he planned to be buried, had chosen cremation, as it was going to be easier to carry an urn of ashes ... ... but was killed instantly when he drove out in front of a truck, about four miles from where he'd grown up. Several people at the time told us how sad and sorry they were at our loss - he was in his mid-80s - but I said that, were we able to interview Dad at the moment, and ask him whether he had any complaints, he'd say that he hadn't, that everything was fine! And if Dad wasn't going to bi!ch ... how could I? He'd come down to visit old friends, and was busy doing what he enjoyed doing ... ... when he was taken. I called the trucker the next day (who was taking a few days off to recuperate) and said that I was sure that my brother and sister would want me to tell him how sad we were that our Dad had caused him so much pain. He said several times during our conversation how much he appreciated my call. May you and yours find peace in your hearts, coming out of these troublesome days. ole joyful
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They lived next door. My Mom and my brother still do. My Dad was surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him. It hasn't been as tough on me as I thought it would be. This is something I have been very afraid of for many years. But I'm handling it well, and my Mom is doing real good. That might change after all the family has left. But for now I'll take the peace of knowing he is finally resting. I would like to thank everyone here for the kind words and the thoughts and prayers. We really appreciate it. I need to spend more time over here instead of on Facebook. It just didn't feel right to post this on FB, but it did here. I try to come over here at least every couple of days. So even if I don't post and you don't see me, I'm still here. I appreciate each and every one of you. And I can post now without feeling like I need to cry. Pooh Bear
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fairegold
20 years ago
Your Father will always be there in your heart. I lost my Father 6 years ago at the age of 93, but I feel the same way you do. I still miss him every day, and he's in my heart.

May your memories always be so special. He must have been a wonderful person. And he had to have lived a great life to have had such a wonderful daughter.

My deepest condolences, and a great big hug to you and your family.

Helene
heydeborah
20 years ago
Dear Angel, my deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. Your Dad will always be with you, in mind and spirit, just think he waited for you to come home! You wil have many many fine memories of that Special Person. sometimes it's nice to start a journal, so that your children can read about their fanastic grandfather. Saying special prayers for you tonite, debbie
awbrey
20 years ago
I am so sorry to hear about your loss, time heals all pain and it will get easier. My grandfather passed away when I was 7 months pregnant, I know how you feel I never knew my dad and he was my dad and all I wanted was to have him see his great grandbaby,Hospice is a great support team I dont know if there is one where you live but they are awesome, if there is give them a call. They deal in death daily they are very special people I could have never gone thru it without them. I belive in spirts and I also belive he will be there at your wedding watching over you.

My dearest dad passed away...

Comments (5)

PeaBee4

abreeze

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