Karen I hope your dad is ok, my mom has a pacemaker, and don't know if you know or not, but about every 5 years the battery must be changed. My mom is on coumadin, and when the time was coming close for her battery to be changed, she stopped the coumadin, but her blood levels were too high at the time so they put the changing of the battery off. Last summer, the damn pacemaker actually was protruding through her skin, she developed an infection, and we had to take her to a cardiac thoraic surgeon about 40 miles from here. In one day they removed the pacemaker, and she was on high levels of antibiotics for a week, the next week they put in the new pacemaker and she has been ok since, with the exception of this past fall breaking her hip. Oh its been one hell of a year!!! She's due to be released from this past session of nursing home/rehabilitation soon. As for the crackhead, he is digging his own grave. Keep us posted on how your dad does. Alberta

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, time heals all pain and it will get easier. My grandfather passed away when I was 7 months pregnant, I know how you feel I never knew my dad and he was my dad and all I wanted was to have him see his great grandbaby,Hospice is a great support team I dont know if there is one where you live but they are awesome, if there is give them a call. They deal in death daily they are very special people I could have never gone thru it without them. I belive in spirts and I also belive he will be there at your wedding watching over you.

How shocking and tragic to lose your dear father so suddenly. It seems so wrong. I know how hard it is just to type the title of your posting. Both my parents have been gone for several years now, but I think of them often--my mother mostly almost every day. You'll always miss your dad, but the pain and confusion you are experiencing now will lessen gradually. It's good to have family members to support each other. Heartfelt condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. Susan

I am so sorry for your loss. Its a little crazy to say those words to you because I thought I would flip out as people said that to me at the funeral home on the night of my Dad's viewing. People kept saying I am sorry for your loss... I finally said to someone, for Gods sake he isnt lost he's dead!I did quiet a bit of flipping out in the first few months after he died. It was sudden even though he was dying of lung cancer. One morning he woke up early as always and told my sister he wanted eggs for breakfast and she helped him get on the potty chair and then went to start his breakfast, she popped her head back in the living room a few seconds later to see if he was done on the potty and he was dead. His heart just stopped. I still talk to my Dad. I look at his pictures and I pour my heart out just like if he was in the room with me. I have a deep and abiding faith that there is an after life, that there is a spirit world where we are reunited with our loved ones. I was on chemo therapy when he died. I also was in college. I took a week off at first and since we were past spring break I did my best to finish up the semester. I only dropped one class. I wish I had not dropped the class. I tried to go back the next semester but even with a very light load it was emotionally too much. Its been two years since he died. I am planning to return to school in january 2010. You are not 'the man of the house'. You may be the only male or the oldest male but your Dad was the man of the house and its just too much preasure to on you. Be a great big brother to your sister, allow yourself to feel what you really feel. Let her see your grief when it comes. Remember the good times together and tell 'Dad' stories. Laugh as much as you can. My sister moved in with my Momma after Dad passed. She would rent really funny movies to show Momma. My Mom's favorite movie was 'white chicks'. Isn't that a hoot? This dignified (almost) 77 year old woman getting histerical over white chicks? It still cracks me up to remember it. Do things to celebrate his life. Plant a tree, or donate a bench to a park in his name. There are lots of things you can do on very little money to remember him. I planted a 'forgivness garden' right after we found out he was dying of cancer. I was told this by a friend from church: "Never forget that your Father is with his Father in heaven now. He is surronded my loving relatives who have waited a long time for his return." Your Dad is too. Hey, maybe they even know each other??? Try a grief support group. I still go to one sponcered by the hospice that took care of my both of my parents. God bless you, you will survive this. I promise. Heavenly Father will NEVER put more on you than you can bare up under. Keep posting on this site too. It helps. Vicki