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The Kitchen Table

My Dad passed away on Friday.

13 years ago

He was at home and it was real peaceful for him.

He would have been 73 years old on November 1.

But cancer took him away from us. (lymphoma).

The funeral was yesterday (Sunday).

My Mom is doing fine. She has had plenty of help.

I'm holding together. Sometimes just barely.

I'll write more when I can type without wanting to cry.

Thank you to every one here for being my friend.

Pooh Bear

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Comments (84)

itsmesuzq
13 years ago
Such sad news. Please know you and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my brother 3 years because of Lymphoma; he was only 56. You take care and know we're all here for you.

Susan
roseluver
13 years ago
So very to learn of your dads passing. I just want you to know you have many friends here praying for you. Take care, we love you!
Charlene
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Karen I hope your dad is ok, my mom has a pacemaker, and don't know if you know or not, but about every 5 years the battery must be changed. My mom is on coumadin, and when the time was coming close for her battery to be changed, she stopped the coumadin, but her blood levels were too high at the time so they put the changing of the battery off. Last summer, the damn pacemaker actually was protruding through her skin, she developed an infection, and we had to take her to a cardiac thoraic surgeon about 40 miles from here. In one day they removed the pacemaker, and she was on high levels of antibiotics for a week, the next week they put in the new pacemaker and she has been ok since, with the exception of this past fall breaking her hip. Oh its been one hell of a year!!! She's due to be released from this past session of nursing home/rehabilitation soon. As for the crackhead, he is digging his own grave. Keep us posted on how your dad does. Alberta
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I am so sorry for your loss. Its a little crazy to say those words to you because I thought I would flip out as people said that to me at the funeral home on the night of my Dad's viewing. People kept saying I am sorry for your loss... I finally said to someone, for Gods sake he isnt lost he's dead!I did quiet a bit of flipping out in the first few months after he died. It was sudden even though he was dying of lung cancer. One morning he woke up early as always and told my sister he wanted eggs for breakfast and she helped him get on the potty chair and then went to start his breakfast, she popped her head back in the living room a few seconds later to see if he was done on the potty and he was dead. His heart just stopped. I still talk to my Dad. I look at his pictures and I pour my heart out just like if he was in the room with me. I have a deep and abiding faith that there is an after life, that there is a spirit world where we are reunited with our loved ones. I was on chemo therapy when he died. I also was in college. I took a week off at first and since we were past spring break I did my best to finish up the semester. I only dropped one class. I wish I had not dropped the class. I tried to go back the next semester but even with a very light load it was emotionally too much. Its been two years since he died. I am planning to return to school in january 2010. You are not 'the man of the house'. You may be the only male or the oldest male but your Dad was the man of the house and its just too much preasure to on you. Be a great big brother to your sister, allow yourself to feel what you really feel. Let her see your grief when it comes. Remember the good times together and tell 'Dad' stories. Laugh as much as you can. My sister moved in with my Momma after Dad passed. She would rent really funny movies to show Momma. My Mom's favorite movie was 'white chicks'. Isn't that a hoot? This dignified (almost) 77 year old woman getting histerical over white chicks? It still cracks me up to remember it. Do things to celebrate his life. Plant a tree, or donate a bench to a park in his name. There are lots of things you can do on very little money to remember him. I planted a 'forgivness garden' right after we found out he was dying of cancer. I was told this by a friend from church: "Never forget that your Father is with his Father in heaven now. He is surronded my loving relatives who have waited a long time for his return." Your Dad is too. Hey, maybe they even know each other??? Try a grief support group. I still go to one sponcered by the hospice that took care of my both of my parents. God bless you, you will survive this. I promise. Heavenly Father will NEVER put more on you than you can bare up under. Keep posting on this site too. It helps. Vicki
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Greetings bengardening, I offer my condolences on the loss of your dear father. We sometimes feel a bit like a boat cast adrift when one of the mainstays of our life ... ... makes that final departure. My Dad, who expected to die a couple of thousand miles from where he grew up and where he planned to be buried, had chosen cremation, as it was going to be easier to carry an urn of ashes ... ... but was killed instantly when he drove out in front of a truck, about four miles from where he'd grown up. Several people at the time told us how sad and sorry they were at our loss - he was in his mid-80s - but I said that, were we able to interview Dad at the moment, and ask him whether he had any complaints, he'd say that he hadn't, that everything was fine! And if Dad wasn't going to bi!ch ... how could I? He'd come down to visit old friends, and was busy doing what he enjoyed doing ... ... when he was taken. I called the trucker the next day (who was taking a few days off to recuperate) and said that I was sure that my brother and sister would want me to tell him how sad we were that our Dad had caused him so much pain. He said several times during our conversation how much he appreciated my call. May you and yours find peace in your hearts, coming out of these troublesome days. ole joyful
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I want you to know how very much you have my deepest sympathy. I lost my step-father of 46 years on January 6, 2015. It is devastating and I still can't believe it happened. It was also a heart attack. Everyone got to say goodbye except me since I live in another state. I feel as though I should have been there because if I had just bought a ticket and flew up there I could have been there but my mother kept saying don't come, we will need you later when he comes home after the surgery. All of this happened in just a matter of a few days anyway so there really wasn't a lot of time to get there. He had the heart attack on December 30 and passed away on January 6 during open heart surgery. He was 78 which doesn't seem old today but certainly much older than your sweet dad. My stepfather was so full of life, everyone loved him, his funeral was attended by hundreds of people lined up past the front doors. He was taking good care of my mother who has a number of ailments. He was worn out maybe from all of it. My mother was struck with a rare disease 6 months before he died. She was in a lot of pain and taking all sorts of medicines. It made her a difficult person. I was so sorry to see it since she wasn't like that before. He was her primary caregiver. I also feel very sorry for my mother who on top of her health issues, then loses her husband. She is doing better now and a new treatment has put her in remission thank the Lord. We are all cherishing our time with her now. …. My own father died when I was very young and my stepfather had been there for most all of my life. It's a loss as great as losing my father. I know what you are going through and it hurts. From losing my own father when I was young I can tell you that not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Though you never get over it exactly, you do learn to live with it and life does go on. My stepfather's death was so shocking and brought back all the painful loss of my real father. I miss my stepfather so much and am still in disbelief and so very sad that I didn't get to see him one last time before he left this earth. I can so relate to your feelings and please know you are not alone. There are so many of us at our age losing our parents and siblings. It is not easy and takes time to heal. Allow yourself time to grieve. I hope you won't feel bad for not seeing your father enough (as you mentioned) it's not going to help to make yourself feel so terrible when you are already grieving. Just try to remember the good times, it's what he would want. If you can, be there for your mom as much as is possible. She needs you now and it would make your dad happy to know you are stepping in for him. Good luck and take good care and cry as much as you want to.
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hayjud_mn
13 years ago
I'm so sorry about the passing of your Dad.
Remember, that big emptyness that causes so much pain, is also proof of the love between you.
May God comfort and strengthen you during this time.

(((Pooh Bear)))
sue_va
13 years ago
So sorry, Pooh Bear.

There really isn't much else to say.

We would like to see you here at the table more.

Sue
gardenspice
13 years ago
Pooh bear,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I know that even when you see it coming, it does not make it any easier.
Peace be with you and your family.
phyllis__mn
13 years ago
Just got home and saw your post. I'm joining the others in sending you caring thoughts at this time.
Linda Wayman
13 years ago
David, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.
carolswfl_2007
13 years ago
Pooh Bear, My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.
Marilyn Sue McClintock
13 years ago
I am sorry to hear you lost your Dad, hugs to you and yours.

Sue
susie53_gw
13 years ago
I never say my hubby cry as hard as when his dad died.. Our prayers go out to you and your family...

Susie
country_bumpkin_al
13 years ago
I'm so sorry,Pooh!!! Sending Prayers to you and your family!
gale_tx
13 years ago
I'm so very, very sorry, Pooh. My deepest condolances to you and yours.
sue_il
13 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, losing a parent is a painful experience. May you find strength in your family and friends.
minnie_tx
13 years ago
Just saw this bad news. Have faith Pooh. So sorry to hear maybe he is in a better place now.
lindyluwho
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, David.

Linda
juellie1962
13 years ago
Oh, I'm sorry you lost your dad. I know what you're going through and I hope you find peace in the happy memories!
kacram
13 years ago
I'm sorry, David.
May your memories of your Dad bring
you peace over time.
suzieque
13 years ago
I'm so sorry, Pooh Bear. I understand the loss of a beloved father, and my heart is aching for you.

Blessings.
Cherryfizz
13 years ago
Aww David I am so sorry. I had been meaning to ask about your Dad and how he was doing. It has been 26 years this month that my Dad passed away and it feels like just yesterday because the loss was so great. You have my deepest sympathy my friend.

Anne
nanatricia
13 years ago
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Kathsgrdn
13 years ago
((((Poohbear)))) I'm very sorry to hear this.
tami_ohio
13 years ago
Poohbear, you have my sympathy and prayers.

Tami
vannie
13 years ago
I am so sorry about your loss. You'll find yourself thinking "I need to tell Dad that." I still do and mine's been gone 9 years. God bless your family.
evatx
13 years ago
I'm so sorry to hear that sad news! My thoughts are with you and your family.
kathi_mdgd
13 years ago
I'm so sorry,please accept my condolences for you and your family.
Kathi
kim_okla
13 years ago
I'm very sorry Pooh.
nikki_nj
13 years ago
So sorry for your loss
Lindsey_CA
13 years ago
Poohbear, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
grittymitts
13 years ago
My heart goes out to you and your Mother, Poor Bear.

Both of you will be in my prayers.

Suzi
katclaws_mo
13 years ago
I am so deeply sorry to hear of the passing of your Dear Dad. Special Thoughts & Prayers to you & your family.

It will be 5 years next month that my Dad passed and I miss him every day, but it does get better, I promise.
cheryl_down_under
13 years ago
My sincere condolences to you and your family, poohbear - you are in my thoughts at this sad time.
wildchild
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss Pooh Bear.
ont_gal
13 years ago
Awwww,I am so sorry for your loss David.

Please do not stop the tears from coming...let them out,it will help--I promise
jel48
13 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
Coosie
13 years ago
I am so very sorry to read this. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
sooey
13 years ago
Oh Pooh...I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending good thoughts your way.

sooey
chisue
13 years ago
I don't think it matters how old we are; when our parents die we feel orphaned.

I very sorry you had to lose your father before his time. After a while you will be able to think of him as he was before the illness and remember the good times.

My sympathy to you and your mother.
sjerin
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your sadness--I'll bet your dad was a great guy. Though you may not consider it right now, a grief support group later can be a help. I have some friends who lost their wife/mother, and listening to others who have the same feelings and difficulties has been helpful.
Jodi_SoCal
13 years ago
David, I am so sad to hear of the passing of your father. Did he and your mom still live next door? I remember you pointing out their home when I came to visit you and Cindy.

You and your family are in my thoughts.

Jodi-
cynic
13 years ago
My condolences Pooh.
Maura63
13 years ago
Hugs to you ~ Wishing you peace during this difficult time

~ Maura
Pooh Bear
Original Author
13 years ago
They lived next door. My Mom and my brother still do.
My Dad was surrounded by the people he loved and who loved him.
It hasn't been as tough on me as I thought it would be.
This is something I have been very afraid of for many years.
But I'm handling it well, and my Mom is doing real good.
That might change after all the family has left.
But for now I'll take the peace of knowing he is finally resting.
I would like to thank everyone here for the kind words
and the thoughts and prayers. We really appreciate it.
I need to spend more time over here instead of on Facebook.
It just didn't feel right to post this on FB, but it did here.
I try to come over here at least every couple of days.
So even if I don't post and you don't see me, I'm still here.
I appreciate each and every one of you.
And I can post now without feeling like I need to cry.

Pooh Bear
mawheel
13 years ago
My sincere sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your Father.
lkgrace345
13 years ago
Poohbear, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. It's so very hard when the people we love leave us. My condolences to you, your Mom, and family.

((((Pooh))))
Toni S
13 years ago
:( ~~ I'm sorry about your dad Poohbear.
He is resting peacefully, no pain anymore. Still I hurts to lose your dad and my sympathy goes out to you.
FlamingO in AR
13 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, PoohBear. You be sure to take care of you, too, in all this. You're a special guy and we all appreciate and care about you.

(((((Poohbear and family)))))
Mickey15
13 years ago
((((Pooh))))
I'm so sorry for your loss Poohbear. I will keep you in my prayers.
Tammy
liz
13 years ago
David...I'm so sorry for your loss...my sympathies to you and your family...
wanda_va
13 years ago
My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Your mother is fortunate that you and your brother are there for her, as she will need the support system in the coming months. I hope you will find comfort in the memories you have of your father, and know that you are in my prayers. Hugs!
joan_mn
13 years ago
I am so sorry, PB.

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