i have never felt so alone lost and frightened
i too lost my husband. he was 37 when he passed. due to depression. due to suicide. it was sudden and shocking. he never did opened himself up to me. till this day, i do not know how to mourn or grief. i keep having flashback to the morning when we received news of his suicide. i could not get over it. every waking hour i keep thinking how it could have happened.
its been 6,7 months and still i am not getting better. theres limited support group or help from where i am. Nobody wants to be associated with widows and suicides. to them its frightening and must be avoidable. this is how crazy a society i am from.
My friends pretty much have their own life and husband and kids. there's isn't anyone i could turn to. Hell, my in laws blamed me and after the funeral, we part ways like strangers only in contact when it involve money.
i feel like i am completely damaged, i still could not come to term with the shocking act he dealt me. i have no more family of my own, no kids and no true friends.. i felt alone and stuck and i am sinking fast into depression...