yoyo, haven't read the book and although this old crone seldom whines she is often accused of moaning and needs to laugh a whole lot more . . . but then I don't have any female friends in this area, from 'way back when', who I can share a joke with. We have only lived here for 30 years and will always be outsiders.:-)

veer -

Have you thought of finding a Website for any of the schools you went to? Could open up a whole new world. Recently I joined a Website dedicated to the high school I went to. I'm surprised at the people who signed my "guestbook"! Now when I go to visit my family in the Midwest (U.S.A.), I'll have some "new" friends to see also! Now I think I'll try to find a Website for the college I attended.

This sounds like an interesting book and I shall find out if the library can get it for me.
Vee, I am in the same boat as you regarding friends. Rolling stones don't gather many and most of the casual friendships I had were with work colleagues or neighbours and certainly not with the girls at my school. They tended to have groups and I have never been a 'joiner'!
I do enjoy a laugh but mostly get them from TV or books.

Laughter among friends is amazing. I don't mean "teehee" stuff but wild, loud belly laughing until you are gasping for breath.
In one of our recent knitting circles a gal who has gone through almost a year of horrible cancer treatments was feeling especially bad. She had begun an estrogen blocker and had hit the wall.
By the end of the afternoon, after our group brand of medicine, she said " I feel so much better, it's amazing!"
We had knit, talked, laughed, howled with laughter, joked, had a wee glass of nice wine, enjoyed homemade snacks and warming coffee...and generally felt connected.
There is more to the energy of such a group of kindred spirits who share history than we can imagine.

I am not certain that these kinds of women must be old friends either.
I believe that any group of women who feel a sense of kinship and like-mindedness are as powerful.

Yoyobon, I totally agree with your point of view re the empowerment of womens' group, having been in several such groups over the years. Now that I have moved to a new location, I miss my "support group" so very much. But I've only been relocated for 3 months, so am certain in time that I will make other close women friends.

I like the work of Jean S. Bolan, having read her "Crossing to Avalon" several times.

I will definitely whine when I am a crone. And moan, and b*tch. With luck, I will still laugh as well!

I am blessed with four sisters who are my best laughing companions. (We have a most excellent and beloved brother, too; but it's not the same thing.) Given the state of world population, I'm convinced of the necessity of small families these days, but I do think something wonderful is going to be lost from the human experience as a result.

I also have a sewing group I've belonged to for many years, and some long-term gardening friends. And I belong to a book club, though that has only been for four or five years. It takes a duration of time to build the kind of connections described here, and the structure of a group or family relatedness makes it more likely that relationships will endure long enough for that kind of connection to develop.

Rosefolly

Women's laughter together, without men, is a healing experience.

I'm not taking umbrage. But I would like to know why men should be so carefully excluded there.

Well, it is the author's observation and studied opinion that most men do not share the same sense of humor as women.
Things that are hilarious to them frequently do not resonate with women.
Also many women feel less free to speak their hearts or share laughter openly when hubbies are around.
However, she went on to include a complete chapter on those few men who ARE crones, in the best sense.
They have managed to balance both kinds of energy and are attuned to the rhythms of women.
Bless their few and far between hearts !!

Let me quote what she has written:
The comfort level which invites laughter among women comes from a sense of being among one's own; however deeply on loves specific men, men often do feel like a separate species. As Carolyn Heilbrun , in THE LAST GIFT OF TIME, mused: "Doris Lessing has wondered if anyone observing humankind might not conclude that me and women were a different sepcies, so diverse are their habits, obsessions, and pastimes. It is an idea that has occurred to all women at one time or another." This sense of being among one's own is not a universal feeling among women, it depends upon the shared archetypal sense of sisterhood.

That should read: " men and women " !!
Not "me and women"....which opens up a whole other can of worms !!! LOL
Yvonne

Thank you for that clarifying paragraph, as I was feeling a bit left out, or something like that. The last sentence definitely applies to me, and I often feel like I am among a different species when I hang out with the ladies. I do have close women friends, but I often feel out of place in the types of gatherings described here. As Heilbrun states so eloquently, this probably has roots in my life experiences with sisters and other girls way back in the bad old days. I guess it all has to do the human desire to belong to a tribe - my tribe is perhaps a little more specialized.

The book does sound intriguing and I have placed an ILL request for it.

Martin, I have noticed that when men get together and are having a laugh, if a woman joins the group, the atmosphere changes too. It seems to me that same-sex groups unwind better.

Sounds like a very interesting book. One of my aunts once said to me that she didn't know why the Good Lord made men and women so different and then expected them to get along with one another.

I bought it years ago because her Jungian psychology resonates with me, but never got around to doing more than skim. You make me sorry Crones Don't Whine didn't make the move with me.

She has a perspective on the word "crone"...it is about inner development, not outer appearance. A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion,humor, courage and vitality. She has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels and take action when need be......."

I have always thought that what my Dad used to say is true:
"We get too soon old, and too late smart."

At this point in my life I feel that I have so much to offer as far as insight and advice, since I've really been there and done that...

Yet, who wants to listen !?!

I read this somewhere and had to laugh out loud:

" Unsolicited advice is never welcomed with the enthusiasm that we imagine it will be."

LOL

Knowing this axiom does not stop me from generously slathering my good thoughts about! ;0)

This is one of the books I'm picking up at the library tomorrow.

Yoyobon, I am always so pleased if someone actually heeds all the good advice I liberally hand out! A lady sought me out recently to thank me for suggesting that she try the local Council for help with her housework as she has been granted several hours of domestic assistance. I never expect people to act on my advice!

Annpan,
Ah...you're the luckier one !
I ALWAYS expect everyone to act on my advice and notice myself taking offense if they don't!
Then I must remind myself, gently, that I simply cannot control everything.
If I still doubt this, I also point out my life choices to myself....and the many dismal results...to convince myself that there is a chance that frequently I might NOT KNOW what is best ! lol

I think it comes from being an only child.
No siblings to constantly keep me in my place.
It's a curse.

Maybe being an only child would do it, but I'm the oldest of four which means I REALLY DO know what those little kids should be doing. It was funny to me once at a wedding when one of the groomsmen came out and asked if his flower should go on stem up or stem down. I had my mouth open to tell him stem down when my cousin's oldest daughter told him, and I thought, "Aha! Another first born knows all."

I am an oldest of three girls, one (a sickly child who used to faint in cold weather and needed me to lug her home!) nearly three years younger. The other, a late baby twelve years my junior. I am a total bossy-boots and know-all! I have to stop trying to organise my competent DD and DGD who are also eldest children and also B-Bs and K-As!

I seem to keep posting on this thread, but I read this book last week, and it did resonate with me. I loved the end where she says we should wake up each day thinking, "I wonder what will happen next!"