Rhianna, 14, spent two weeks in France with her best friend. On the phone to her, I voiced my concern that she did not seem to be enjoying herself.

Her reply: "Well, we do have fun, but it's boring between the fun bits."

My three year old has come up with a new word: Tockets (pronounced with a long O). It is a combo of tokens and tickets, we think. She likes to cut up paper into tiny little strips, which she calls tockets and she slyly sneaks them into your pockets. I keep forgetting to check pockets before I do laundry and when I open the wash machine... well you can imagine what I find. Lots and lots of tockets. She gets offended if you refuse them, too.

Our three were close in age and size. We were in the habit of putting initials on everything so that there would be no hazzle about what was what. They got interested in letters and a regular question was, "What stands for----?"

One night my unsuspecting husband was asked, "what stands for Mickey Mouse?" MM. says he. Then it was repeated for Donald Duck and all the rest. Then, the sweet little innocents asked, "Daddy. what stand for Porky Pig?" "P P" says the husband.

"OOOOOOO DADDY!!!!! What you said!" They collapsed on the the floor, giggling. things got worse after that. They ganged up on us.

When I told my grandson the story of how I broke a tooth on the dashboard of the family auto when I was ten, he said, "Oh, Nana, you should have had your seat belt on." The thing was it happened in 1946.

Heh! Carolyn, your grandson's reaction reminds me of when my nephew, about eight years old and in the second grade, was sitting next to me at dinner. I had on a sleeveless dress and he kept poking my upper arm with his finger. Finally I asked him why he was doing that.

He said: "Auntie, you have a big hole in your arm."

I looked and saw the scar that I only think about every five years or so. I told him it was the scar of my smallpox vaccination that the doctor gave me when I was five years old.

"Wow!" my nephew said, "She sure botched it."

"No," I replied, "nearly all kids from my time got vaccinations and scars to match mine."

He digested this for a second and then wondered, "I bet there were lots of lawsuits over that."

This might not be PC, but the staff in question thought it hilarious. My hearing impaired kids are very smart, but have limited language skills. One of mine was sitting at the bus stop with a favorite aid, a black lady who has been with us for years and fortunately has a sense of humor. For some reason the girl started noticing her hands. Signed 'brown'. Then she looked up at her face and signed 'brown'. Then she went around her back lifted up her shirt and signed 'brown, all brown'. I don't think any of us could breath we were laughing so hard.

I think I told this story the last time this came around, but it still tickles my funny bone so here it is again.

I was visiting my sister in law and my (then) five year old niece wanted me to play with her. She was matching spools of thread together by color and was very engrossed by it. I absent-mindedly put a couple of spools of different colors together while I chatted with her mother. Finally, in disgust, she looked at me and said: "Aunt Janet, don't you know your colors yet?"

I thought of something funny my older daughter said to me. This happened about a year ago when my daughter was on a field trip with her day care class -- she was five years old at the time. They go to Olympic Park in Atlanta a few times each summer to play in the water fountains. It's within walking distance of my work, so whenever they are there, I walk down to have lunch with them. Anyway... she's in awe of the big buildings downtown and points to one of the cylindrical towers and asks if that is where they lock up the princesses (thinking of course, about all those princesses locked in towers in fairy tales). Attached is a picture of the building. I will always think of it as the tower where they keep the princesses from now on.

Here is a link that might be useful: Westin Tower

Another student, age 4, was telling her mom about the fire drill. Mom asked 'so the alarm went off?' With a face that only an exasperated child can give to a parent, she said, 'no mom, it went on!'

That is one of those quirks in English that gives the ESL (English as a Second Language) students fits. Another one: two students were finishing up their timed individual math on the computer work for the day, but the class had to leave the room and go to phys. ed. on the first floor of the building. As the line of students left the room, I said to the two still there:
"Mrs. W. (the ESL aide) will wait for you, but hurry up down to the gym as soon as you can." The American-born student didn't even look up, just nodded...the (not too long in the US)ESL student stopped working on his math and said "But Mrs. C...how do you go up-down?"

I know, there are a ton like that. Our idioms can be rough as it is; add the regional changes like 'wait in line/ wait on line' and you've got your job cut out for you!

I've probably shared this before but it is so cute.....my four year old granddaughter calls an umbrella a "rain brella"....and it makes sense to me!! What is an "um" anyway?! For that matter, what is a "brella"!?

Okay , someone out there, tell us the origins of the word!

My Webster says "from 'umbra', the Italian word for 'shade'

(Interesting that searching google brought me nothing. I had to use my hard copy dictionary!)

Again, one of my students - called an octopus 'octofishy'

Granddaughter. Not niece. Oops and sorry.

A bit off age group but still makes me think. My decidedly (and still)odd twelve year old and I were watching a PBS or History channel show on the Egyptian excavations of the tombs-mummies, jewels, etc when he said--I think its terrible that they dig that stuff up and take it all away for people to gawk at. I went into full lecture mode about the Brit Museum and the Met and perserved for all to see, etc. And besides, if not them, the grave robbers etc. Yeah, he says, but at least it's their county and their stuff and their families they are trying to feed. Twenty-three now and still annoyed.

My four year old loves to sing, especially songs she hears just a time or two. The words are never quite right.

"He's got the whole world, in his pants . . .."

Crazydogs, my little sister misunderstood a song that was popular in the dark ages called The Old Master Painter as being The Old Mashed Potato.

One of my students had a special request during music time one December: "the Chicken Song" Huh? "you know, making a list chicken it twice" Oh my. We did sing the song after we caught our breath from laughing

My daughter, who was born musical and rocked back and forth in her crib in time to songs on the radio before she could crawl, absolutely loved music time when she started first grade. The first thing she told me every afternoon was what they sang that day. One day she said, "Today we sang a song about our daddies' graves." I guessed everything until it dawned on me--land where our fathers died; land of the Pilgrims' pride.

I love song mishaps. Those are great! My daughter gets it from me, I think. I thought that "Suicide Blonde" by INXS was "Soup and Salad Bar." Oh well, the hits just keep coming!

Carolyn - how perceptive of your daughter! WOW!

My six year old was helping me make banana bread - he's decided he doesn't like to touch the eggs anymore, mostly because I make him wash his hands afterwards - so he said, 'Hey, Mom, how 'bout you hatch them, and I'll pour them in?!"

A phone conversation I just overheard:

My son was on the phone with his grandmother.

"Grammy, I went to a birthday party for my friends Mary and Michelle at the gymnastics center and it was FUN!"

(pause as he listened...)

"Grammy, HOW DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE TWINS??"

PAM

I'll preface this by saying we live in the very heart of suburbia ...

My then-three y.o. DS was inspecting his dinner, picked up a very small piece of steak and asked, "Is this meat?" We said yes, and he continued to examine it. Then he tilted his head to the side, looked up with a gleam in his eye and asked, "Is it BEAR?"

In the classroom I asked students to name the five senses. They were doing pretty well until one of then named "sense of humor."

When I was substitute teaching, I was with a third grade class when the topic of the tooth fairy came up. A little girl said, "I think the tooth fairy is real because I saw her in a book." A boy responded, "Was it fiction or non-fiction?"

My daughter lost a tooth and left it out for the tooth fairy. She slept well that night and when she woke up...
Nothing.
The tooth fairy did not visit. Again, she made sure her tooth was easily seen and went to bed. When she woke up the next morning, she found the tooth was gone. She also found some money and a postcard - from Florida - that said, "Sorry I missed you last night. I was on my way home from vacation."
She came bounding down the stairs and said, "Mom, the ONLY way a postcard from Florida could have gotten into this house is from the tooth fairy. Can you believe it?"

PAM

What a clever tooth fairy!
I have a "friend" I take teaching with me-the "Safe-Place Fairy." She has accompanied me for years, and does her job very well-the story goes:
"IF you don't put this (homework paper, note to parents, invitation, book list, spelling words...) in a safe place, then the safe place fairy will come and do it for you. The only problem is, the safe place fairy's safe places are not in your desk or notebook or book bag. They are far far away. SOOOOO...."
Last month I taught a class of 6th graders. I have been teaching these kids since they were in 4th, and they have heard all my stories, including the dragon that lives in my trunk-another ongoing companion. A student that has, shall we say, organizational issues, made the remark when I asked about yet another missing homework paper-"That safe-place fairy musta fed it to your dragon." Just cracked me up.
But he still had to redo the paper.

My first job teaching was in a class of 4-6th grade LD kids in a small rural school. Some of the funniest and most memorable moments in my teaching career were from those kids. They may have had trouble learning to read, but there was nothing wrong with their mind! Fun kids.

When my kids were all relatively little, they tried their best to catch the tooth fairy--a role played alternately by mom or dad. Unbeknownst to us, one night they succeeded. The next evening they came to dinner with smug looks on their faces and this dialogue followed:

"The tooth fairy came last night."

"HE has brown hair..."

"...and blue eyes..."

to which my 5-year-old added,

"...and WEBBED FEET!!!!"

We had no idea where that came from, but the imagery was amusing.

When my son was about 8 or 9 he was playing the basketball game "horse" with a friend. When his friend's father came to pick him up the boys agreed to finish the game later. My son said to his friend "don't forget I have hor (sounded like whore) and you have ho". The friend's father and I just cracked up. The kids had no idea what was so funny.

My daughter was sitting on my bed with me one night..her eyes kept shutting, head bobbing, you know the drill... she says : "I need to go to bed, my eyes are falling out." She's four..lol