Thank them profusely. Then say regretfully that I know I won't be able to get to it for ages and suggest they pass it on to someone who could enjoy it now rather than get lost in my black hole of a library. And if they persist, I'd declaim that I'd just feel awful if I took it and didn't manage to read it soon. No, no, no. It has the advantage of being true. I essentially said this to an aunt a couple of weeks ago who wanted to pass a knitting machine on to me.

I agree with Chris, but you could add that you will let them know when you are ready to read it-if it really is a book you are interested in reading?

Pat

I can certainly relate to this. People know I love to read so they almost insist I read their favorites. The only way to turn them down is to be absolutely, positively firm in refusing the offered book, while being polite, of course. Any hesitation and you are lost. They will be waiting for a book report. Been there.

I agree with Chris. Or you could say 'oh I tried to read that, didn't really care for it', depending on if you want to have a relationship with this person at all :)

Most of my friends and family members know my taste in books is nothing like theirs, so I don't generally get books tossed into my lap (except maybe by my sis). But I do get books for gifts, and its really hard to have to come up with an answer to 'how'd you like it?' when the first thing I did was toss it in the book trade box (usually these books are of the Tuesdays with Morrie or Abundant Gifts type. Fine for many, just not my cup of tea)

The other way is "I'd rather not borrow your copy - but I'll certainly add it to my list." And if they insist, tell them that you don't lend books ever since someone damaged/lost one of yours, so you really don't feel comfortable borrowing one.

Oh, I am so glad someone brought up this issue! I have a friend who constantly drops books through my mail slot, almost weekly. I have told her politely: "Please, no more books," repeatedly, but it does not get thorough. Finally, I told her I get most of my reading recommendations from a wonderful 0n-line reading chatroom that I visit almost daily. She is not into the Internet, and just does not get it. She gets really offended if I do not share her taste in reading.

Thanks for letting me ventilate about this!

When people offer to lend me books I have not asked them for and I have not indicated in any way that I want to read, I tell them I have 200+ unread books in my apartment that are ahead of their book on my TBR and ask them if they are willing to wait for a year to get the book back. That usually works.

Fortunately most of my reading friends and relatives have a similar taste in books as I do and know which ones to offer me.

I have one friend whose taste is nowhere near mine. I have learned to avoid her recommendations or offers to loan books; but years ago when Dr. Zhivago came out as a movie, she told I must go see it. I consequently avoided it for years, only to find when I did finally go that she was absolutely right--I did love it.

I'm with Martin. I hate to lend my books, so don't feel right borrowing, and say so. Most of the time this works and feelings are not ruffled.

Rosefolly

I usually refuse politely, citing busy schedule and tall TBR pile, and if they insist, take the book, and the first time they ask about it, remind tham that I did say I was very busy and probably wouldn't have time-would they like their copy back? And then I get it to them. It usually works and I don't have a lot of repeat lenders.
Woodnymph-I'd drop them back through her mailslot. Same day-with a note-"thanks, but I have no time and no space to store it until I do have time."

Uh-Oh. I am afraid I am the offender here. Hope none of you are my close local friends! I love to lend books and do try to match them to people. I never worry much about getting them back--I have only a handful where the book itself has intrinsic value and those I wouldn't lend. Guess I'll quit being such a busy-body.

Thanks to everyone for your ideas. From the sounds of things, I am not the only one with this problem. To give you an idea of how much of a woose I am in confronting my friends who lend, I have FOURTEEN books that people have loaned me in the past week.... It's unbelieveable.

Plus I tried the "waiting a long time to read it" tack but it didn't work.

It's no good. My name is Liz and I am a woose. Sigh. :-)

OK. I have thought about it and I am going to have to take the bull by the horns and put an end to this.

Thanks for all the ideas. I am not going to borrow any more books from any one for quite a while.

Thanks!

Liz, if it helps any, think of those endless loaners as decluttering their shelves/houses and using you as a dump.