I agree that "whatever" is disrespectful, rude and very dismissive. It is the equivalent of someone shooing you away with the back of their hand. They are indicating that what you are saying has no importance or relevance for them.
It is rather like a person saying " Oh, shut up."
Add the rolling of the eyes and you have the complete package.

I choose to blame the media both TV and movies for kids picking up new and abrasive ways to be rude and disrespectful to the adults in their life as well as their own peers.

It is really a shame.
We are losing our civility.

I have been thinking of the use of the word "cool" as I had noticed a resurgence in its use lately. Yes, I think it is kind of kew-ool. (I can see you all rolling your eyes right over my wireless connection!) But it's funny to me because it was popular when I was a teenager and now it's roaring back. I did not, and do not say "whatever" unless it is in a positive tone of voice and spirit.

One of my co-workers recently took her family to New Jersey so that one of her daughters could audition for "American Idol." I am both happy and sad to report that her two teenage daughters who have spent their entire lives in Maine were shocked and appalled at the way their big-city counterparts spoke to their parents and even to their peers. Happy of course that my co-worker has lovely polite daughters, and sad for everyone else. (The audition was a bust, no surprise there.)

When I was in my twenties, a good twenty years ago, I had some friends tell me "cool" was out and to stop saying it. So, I tried but I still think it sometimes.

Now, this week I bought a hefty, well made, English farmhouse style basket that I found particularly attractive. The cashier said "What a cute basket!"
I am still annoyed by the word cute. It's not like it had flowers painted on it or something. And it is a good 15"x40"...

And the other word I hear all the time I cannot ever use because I am too old for, is Sweet.
Used the way I might say "Cool!"

bumblebeez, I agree w/you about "cute." Ever since my teen years I've heard it misused, and still do! In a dictionary I once found this definition for "cute": (1) vaguely pretty; (2) adorably pretty, e.g. a kitten.

But I hear people -- mainly girls and women -- say something is cute when it's no such thing. Like your basket -- it's obviously too big to be cute. From your description, I'd call it handsome or attractive.

Seems like people just don't want to s-t-r-e-t-c-h their minds to come up with their own way of using words.

Friedag, "been there, done that" is still said in these parts but I hear it only about once or twice a month. I agree that it was used much too often about four or five years ago. I think the tone the speaker takes indicates whether it is meant to be dismissive or just another way to say "yes, I know where you are coming from" - the shared experience that your DH thinks. I believe some people who say "been there..." are trying to hurry the other speaker along.

Currently on the West Coast the trendiest way to say yes is "yas". If you have not heard it yet, you probably will soon. It sounds dopey and juvenile to me, but a lot of people who should be adults are taking it up apparently to sound "kewl". Yoyobon, I think you are right. No doubt television will spread it.

The latest overdone saying around here is: I'm just sayin' - There are several ways this is used, but the two I hear most frequently are: 1) A phrase used to signify that a previous comment one made was not intended to cause offense or annoyance, but was simply a statement of a personal opinion or an observation that the stater doesn't care enough to fight over. And -2) Response when your motive for saying something is questioned and you a) had no motive or b) do not want to reveal your motive. (Urban Dictionary)

My mind usually blanks out when I hear politicians on the radio/TV, but I now cannot help but notice that English MP's are starting their sentences with "Look" or "Now look" rather as though they are trying to 'sell' a point to rather dim-witted voters, or that they need to over-explain their reason for taking some rather questionable action.
I imagine politicians where you live have expressions that grate on your nerves. ;-)

Siobhan, 'Pop Idol' and similar shows, have been running for quite a few years over here. I think your friend's children are extremely lucky not to be picked. The show seems to ridicule far more people than ever become 'famous'. Her girls would need skins tougher than rhino hide to stand the exposure. I seriously wonder why parents are willing to put their children through such torture.

When I was a teen , back in the early 60's , we used the word "tough" to describe someone or something that was really good looking or attractive.
It came and went quickly (sort of like spoolies..remember those?) but for a time it was the "mot du jour" !

Did anyone else ever use that expression?

Re "you guys" vs. "you all" vs. "y'all", the latter a southernism: I feel torn and use them all, depending upon whom I am speaking with. I really dislike the "y'all" which sounds coarse and/or lazy to me. I thing the "you all" sounds awkward and formal. I have recently fallen into the habit of using "you guys" (which most southerners hate). I have friends all over the U.S. and it is my impression that this started in the North and then spread West.

I've noticed from some TV shows set in the vicinity of NYC that the phrase "Shut Up!" is used in a non-traditional, non-rude way, meaning "I don't believe it" or "Amazing!"

As for "kewl" and/or "cool" if one is around university students almost daily as I am, it is difficult NOT to pick up some of these phrases and use them back.

I agree that "You guys" can be used rather inappropriately.
We were invited to meet a young masseuse who wanted to start a small business giving treatments in the health area of our retirement village. She opened with "Hi, you guys". As we are mostly elderly women, this did not go down well. Hardly anyone made appointments.

Vee -- Our president uses the "Look" and "Now look" expressions. Sometimes I thinks it's to buy time while he's thinking about how to answer an interviewer's question.

It hasn't started to bother me yet as I appreciate that he usually deliberates before giving his answers rather than rushing headlong into something -- except for a couple of very notable occasions.

To me, when someone prefaces a statement with "Look..." it means that they are cutting through any nice words and getting right to the crux of the issue...like it or not.
It's a kind of getting tough expression.

Hah, I forgot about "just sayin'"... I have been guilty of this but not after my DH had teased me about it relentlessly on Facebook...

I employ the phrase "y'all" as it comes in very useful when I am trying to get the attention of a large group of people, especially here in Texas... In fact, I learned when I was teaching that if I used the word "you" for a group of people, people assumed that I was talking to (or about) one person instead of the whole group.

When I was a young know-it-all kid, I would get irritated by one of my mum's friends who would address us as "kids". Every time she said this, I would mutter to myself that I wasn't a baby goat... The follies of youth that such phrasing was so important...

Lydia: "Yas"? I'm guilty of saying yep and yeah, but I've yet to notice yas. I hope it's not contagious, because if it is, I'm sure to catch it.:-)I believe some people who say "been there..." are trying to hurry the other speaker along.That's been my impression too, especially when they accompany it with a wave of a hand. Maybe that's why I've assumed it is dismissive.

Here's an absurdity, the likes of which I've heard too many times from sound-media reporters (the latest being today):
The convicted murderer escaped from such-and-such prison. He carjacked a vehicle, taking the driver hostage. He killed the hostage and dumped her body. Do not approach this gentleman as he is considered armed and dangerous.orA lone gunman killed six hostages and wounded three others. He then committed suicide. We have not verified this gentleman's identity yet.Are these reporters even aware of what they are saying? When I hear this inappropriate use, I start yelling at the TV or radio: Where did you get your journalism training?

I do remember 'tough' in that context - it didn't last long, did it?

I will admit that I have said 'yas' for years - I thought it was a weird affectation of mine, from living in many different places with different accents. And now it's a trend!

I can only hope those reporters have no idea what they are really saying. If that is their idea of gentleman, we are in big trouble.

Interesting about the use of "sweet" by young people. My new neighborhood consists of a lot of older ladies who are widows and have been friends for years. I can't tell you how many times they have used "sweet" to describe what we have done to the house and yard. It's not a word I would apply to landscaping!

"You guys" is a colloquial plural of you. I think it is from Philadelphia, though they may say "youse guys", and "you guys" may be from somewhere else in the northeast. Perhaps someone with some training in regional dialects can clarify this. In Pittsburgh at the other end of the state we said "yunz" for the same thing, a contraction of "You ones". In other areas I have heard simply "Youse". We really want there to be a plural of you that is different from the singular. It is a felt lack in the English language that goes beyond the southern y'all.

In my opinion, a local bit of dialect is not the same thing as the kind of thing as annoying slang. It persists, for one thing, rather than being a fad that flashes past.

Rosefolly

Frieda,

We're getting into the area of what I call 'dumbing up', now, with your example of the misuse of 'gentleman'. 'Dumbing up, which I hate, is where everything has to be one or more grades up from its original - which original word begins, eventually, to sound rude and impolite. Examples are:

Woman now = Lady ('The woman behind' No. 'The lady behind'. Yes.)
House = Home ('Moving Home')
Wage = Salary
Pupil = Student
Lavatory = Toilet/John/Loo

One result of all this is, of course, that we lose words from the language; another that it makes the substitute words wooly and imprecise in their meaning.

Dido

Youse is a common misuse in Australia, usually associated with less educated people and not considered dialect.

Young people here (one of my sons included) use 'sweet' for good. For example, I'll say 'we're having roast for tea' and he'll say 'Sweet!', usually elongated into 'sweeeeet'!

I have never heard our reporters use 'gentleman'. They usually say 'man' or 'suspect'.

"You guys" is very mid-western (USA). Used for both sexes. It's been around FOREVER. I grew up using it, and so, I assume, did my parents and maybe even my grandparents. It is used by all types -- truck drivers; college professors; doctors; waitresses; etc.

Sometime (late-'80s?), it popped up on the East coast. Eventually, it crept up on TV -- reality and fiction shows. I don't like it all the time; but in a casual way it's OK.

Superlatives, in general, are overused but especially "amazing" and "awesome." I am also sick of the word "empowerment" or "empowering" to describe every experience under the sun. A show about a mom's desperate turn to prostitution to supplement her family's income was actually promoted as being "empowering" to women. Really?

I lived in NW Penna. for years and never heard the term "yunz".

Is it "dumbing down" or "dumbing up" ? Is the former American and the latter British?

I think all generations have certain cliched expressions that are here today, gone tomorrow. In my late father's day, they used to say "get the dope on" meaning to pick up information (nothing to do with drugs). In my late aunt's generation, if one saw a puppy or a kitten, it wasn't described as "cute" or "sweet." Instead, it was so "cunning."

this is the way I hear Sweet being used.
From the Urban Dictionary.

sweet 260 up, 110 down
1)Something good that happens
2)describing something cool
1)Hey I just got the last tickets to the concert. Sweet!

2)Oh man that concert was so sweet!

Sweet 394 up, 293 down
as in response to "Dude"....
"Dude what does mine say?"....
"Sweet! What does mine say?"
(repeat as neccesary)

Mary,

Until I just coined it (above) there was no such expression as 'dumbing UP' in common parlance. Of course you can't 'dumb up'. it's a contradiction in terms. I used it scathingly as, as stupid a term as I consider those things I cited (above) to be.

Dido

Kath makes an interesting point that in Australia youse is a word spoken by less educated people while Lauramarie says that you guys is an expression used in the US by 'all types'. I'm wondering if, in the US these expressions/individual words/slang are more readily taken 'on board' and happily used by all generations.
I'm probably getting to be an old fuddy-duddy, but I would NEVER use the language favoured by teenagers or truck drivers and when young I would have been reprimanded by my parents or teachers if they had heard me speaking in the 'local' dialect. And yes, I know that teenagers, when together use their own private 'patois' but are adults happy to join in? I might ask the same question about accents. If someone living in the Deep South of the US for eg. moved to New England would they try and change the way they pronounced certain words?
In the UK we have many regional accents and dialects but also RP (Received Pronunciation) probably what you consider to be 'BBC English', it might seem snobby, but it is 'educated English' and up until a few years ago you needed it speak in this way to 'get on'. If your parents spoke with an RP accent, you also did. The exceptions were/are DJ's and pop stars who followed the then fashion for using a nasal 'Liverpool' accent, or now the 'Young Royals' who have dropped the Hurray Henry drawl and now speak 'Estuary English' . . . a sort of watered-down Cockney. As Dido say egs of 'dumbing down'.

I think when people in the U.S. move to a different region, they eventually will take up the local pronunciation, even though at first, they may fight it. For example, with my background in French, I keep calling the next street over in my new city "Beaufain" (Bo-feign). I've been corrected numerous times by the "natives" that it is pronounced "buuu-fain", which, to my ears, sounds ridiculous. When I lived in Virginia, I refused to pronounce the nearby city of Norfolk the way the "natives" did, because I thought it sounded obscene and crude. I persisted with the English pronunciation of plain old Nor-folk" for 35 years. I think that just before I relocated, I was gradually eliding into the "native" version.

I found that when I was around those in the deep south, I would lapse into the "y'all" and even say "Where's it at"? (Shame on me). Whereas, when I would travel up north, I would lose my own native accent, perhaps in an unconscious desire to fit in. (Southern accents used to be ridiculed by many Northerners).

woodnymph2 -
I'm from the North (now live in NY City), and I think Southern accents are very charming. Sometimes I've heard English people say that the South is the only part of the U.S. where Americans speak well.

As to "Where's it at". Must confess I don't know what's wrong w/that phrase ! I say it myself, and I'm told that I have good speech habits. Are you supposed to say "where is it at"? It's probably typically American of me, but I like to "shorten" speech and writing where I can... often using the good ol' apostrophe (ha-ha!).

While I loathe it when (nearly) everyone uses the same tired slang or poor speaking style (like going up at the end of a sentence as if it were a question when it isn't), I also don't like the sound of people speaking in an overly-formal way in casual conversation. They sound so stiff and artificial.

Lauramarie, do you find the way English people speak to be 'overly-formal'?
I've never heard anyone over here say "where's it at" Is it used a part of a direction "Where does so-and-so live? How do I get there?" In 'English' English you could say "Where is it"? if you were looking for something, but the at is superfluous

Vee, we know it's grammatically incorrect, but we say it anyway, because it just sounds right to our ears. Teachers used to reply, upon hearing "Where's he at?" with "He is behind the "at."

I have often wondered where the going up at the end of sentences came from. Is it possibly from the "Valley Girl" way of speaking. When did that start?

The first place I lived away from home was in Hawaii where my husband was stationed after Korea. Most of our friends were northerners, and I was teased unmercifully for both accent and word usage. One thing I remember was that they "made" dinner whereas I "fixed" supper. In fact, my meals needed fixing. I couldn't cook a thing but chocolate fudge when I got married.

My cousin's husband was transferred up north when her children were middle school age. The kids changed their accent right away, and she did to some extent over the years. When he retired and they moved back home, she changed right back to our local accent.

Shades of my mother the teacher, I can't stand "Where's it at" and have to bite my tongue not to say "Behind the at" to total strangers.

veer -

English, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh people sound wonderful to my ears ! ... not stiff at all. (OK, there's the occasional "don-ish" type; but we have those over here, too.) I love the LILT in their vocal expression, and the soft drawl. But then, I have a bias as to the drawl -- being from the Midwestern U.S. ! Americans sound so flat or monotone to me.

Living in such a cosmopolitan city as New York, I hear all kinds of accents everyday. Unless, I can't understand the person, I think accents are a delightful cocktail for the ear ! It'll be a very sad day when, through the influence of global television, accents begin to die out. To me they are a sort of vocal "accessory" ! And without them the human race would lose some of its dazzle.

And I stand corrected as to "where's it at." I'll try to remember not to do that anymore.

woodnymph2 -

It seems like the icky habit of going up at the end of a non-interrogatory sentence began in the late-1980s or early-1990s. Even people on TV and radio began speaking that way. It became soooo prevalent, I was nearly grinding my teeth. But after a couple years it died out. .... Well, almost. ... It's still around. [Sigh] It might come from Valley Girl speech, as so many other unattractive speech habits have ! ! I've also heard investment bankers w/Harvard Business degrees using "California surfer speech" in the office. Hey, how rad is that, Dude !?

Speaking of accents, I was at a doc office yesterday and he was obviously either not listening to me or could not understand the English-ness, because I made some crack about weather or something, and he just continued looking at his computer as though nothing had been said. Then I said, "You didn't understand a word I said, did you?" in a nice way of course, and he *still* didn't reply or give any indication of having heard. Either he was very focused, I was mumbling, or he just isn't used to foreign accents.

Funny enough, it was ok once we got going.

I also asked the staff if there was a water fountain available, and every single one of them (about 5 people) just stopped talking with each other and stared at me as though I was an alien speaking in tongues.

Sometimes I think I'm American, and sometimes - well, it's clear that I'm not.

:-)

I notice that a number of media presenters are saying "Let's have a listen" before playing part of a speech or interview. As we have recently had an election which had a long-drawn out finish, we have had to "have a listen" to a lot of pontificating politicians and political journalists! I do not like this intro. What is wrong with a simple "Here, talking about this matter/event/what-have-you, is John Smith." Why tack on the "Let's have a listen". What else would we do? Smell it? Taste it?
Does this phrase occur in the UK or the US?

I would guess that these presenters are trying to appeal to John Q. Public and attempting to dumb down their speech to seem more "guy-next-door".
Perhaps, if they do, we will think that what they are saying is probably more believable.

*tsk , tsk *

annpan, have a listen is used over here and I find it very annoying, but I suppose we use have a look eg the Dr might say "Let me have a look at that cut/lump/spot/abscess/corn" . . . or maybe "Let me take a gander at that" an expression probably used in Australia if not in the US.

Another contraction that has become common is 'invite' for invitation. "I just received my invite for the party but am too lazy to use the full word."

Liz, probably your Dr found his computer more fascinating that you, the patient; it happens all the time over here. Is English English regarded as 'foreign' in Texas? I have noticed over at a game at the 'Circle Theater' site the punters have been told not to use eg's of 'Foreign' movies . . . by which they mean anything non-American. In the UK we use the term if the film has
been made in a language other than English so American is OK . . . just ;-)

Oh gosh, yes - English English is very foreign around here, mainly because we are far out in the west and you have to really make an effort to come here. (It's not a city that you stop over on your way to somewhere else...)Most of the time, it's (the accent) is not an issue and can, in fact, be an avenue to better service, people remembering you more often etc (since there are so few of my tribe around here), so to be fair, I can't moan too much about it.

And you're right: English films do count as 'foreign', at least here in TX. Actually, anything that's not "American" (as in USA) is 'foreign' to a lot of people. However, the more well educated/well traveled people don't seem to view things that way... Don't mean to sound snotty about this: it's costs a lot to get out of Texas for many people since it is so big, and so it's not uncommon to meet people who have never seen the sea or stepped out of the state. I think for some it's more of an economic barrier than a xenophobic thinking pattern.

"Organic."

Is this ever an over-worked term, now, in terms of selling products in the U.S.! I was in a gourmet grocery store yesterday and they had ordinary wines for sale, but just had to label each one "organic." I asked the vendor what an organic wine actually is. She just shrugged and could not answer me. I deem it is just a trendy way to promote products and charger higher prices....

I think that in order to have the label " Organic" or perhaps more accurately "Certified Organic" the product has to follow specific guidelines.
I assume that any food termed "organic" is grown without any pesticides or artificial/chemical fertilizer...etc.

This link might shed some light:

Here is a link that might be useful: organic guidelines

I don't think anyone has previously mentioned something that really annoys me. Reporters who ask a person who has just had a bad experience of some kind "How do you feel?" This happened recently on TV and the person asked this insensitive question snarled "How the BLEEP do you think I feel?" Good for him!

Reporters asking that same question annoy me as well because it's so unhelpful...

Really. Use your common sense, journalists.

My husband says this all the time , especially when on the telephone "fair enough" it also bugs me when announcers say "kids" instead of children to me a kid is a baby goat.

I also asked the staff if there was a water fountain available, and every single one of them (about 5 people) just stopped talking with each other and stared at me as though I was an alien speaking in tongues.

lemonhead, are you sure they didn't just think it odd that anyone would expect them to have a water fountain? I'd call it a water fountain (or a drinking fountain) too, but I've noticed that water fountains are very hard to find now.

Is anyone bothered by the way nouns are made into verbs?
Example:

We're transitioning to a new system now.

I hate "my bad" too. It makes my skin crawl.

My SIL hates "it is what it is" but it's a phrase I'm guilty of using (hopefully not over-using) b/c sometimes, well you just can't change what it is, so you might as well accept it...

...and while not true to topic necessarily, I hate adjectives used as adverbs, especially in advertisements. Radio ads are notorious for this (or notoriously bad...) Or maybe I should just accept that English is a living, growing language, and adverbs are on the way out, as adjectives are just so, like, versatile, ya know!!

I don't know if this choice of words is only common in Australia but "thanks to" is often used in the sense of "because of". As in "A tree crashed onto a roof, destroying the house, thanks to a storm".
Efforts to change this are useless.
How do RPers regard the use of 'designer' as in 'this is a designer dress'? Shouldn't this be 'a designer's dress'? Or even 'a dress designed by .....'
It just sounds wrong to me.

JW - good point about the water fountain, except this is was in a brand new hospital clinic and this is TX so it's not at all unusual to have a water fountain in most places.

Still, perhaps you're right in that it was a strange request. Didn't really want to drink from the sink in the clinic room! :-)

"My bad" is one that drives me crazy... Haven't heard it for a while, but there was a time when it seemed to be ubiquitous...

I am not sure if the following falls under the category of an overused expression, but here goes. Recently I have become aware of the evolution of the perfectly good word "oriented" to the ungainly "orientated". Just the other day I heard a television reporter use it to describe a school as "orientated" towards students who excel in science and math courses. I don't know if the word is incorrect in meaning, but the extra syllable does not add anything new to the shorter version of the same word. To me, "orientated" sounds affected and awkward.

Apparently those are two different words!

ORIENTATED: toward the east

ORIENTED: in the direction of or manner of

(Loosely , since I didn't copy the exact definitions !)

This is something I never knew !

Thanks Yoyobon. I suspected that the word was being used incorrectly.

JW - good point about the water fountain, except this is was in a brand new hospital clinic and this is TX so it's not at all unusual to have a water fountain in most places.
Still, perhaps you're right in that it was a strange request. Didn't really want to drink from the sink in the clinic room! :-)

lemonhead, your question wasn't at all odd, given the situation - a place where water fountains are routine.

To me, "drinking fountain" and "water fountain" are both usages that would be understood anywhere in the US. I've used them interchangeably for years.

Lemon, If you had asked me, I would have visualised a water fountain as one of those stone garden ornaments, perhaps those people you spoke to thought that was what you meant! I have fallen foul many times in the past of putting the wrong mental image into someone's head, e.g. trying to describe something over the phone is a mine field. So much easier now with cameras on phones as long as both parties have them! I wonder if they can be used in a country where one does not speak the language? Just flash up a pix of what is required? Beats a dictionary or pointing, my usual methods of communication :-)