Oh Janie you sure have my sympathy I know exactly how you feel. In my case itâÂÂs my 91 year old father. He is driving me crazy itâÂÂs been 8 years to the day that my mother passed away and every year it gets worse. He still lives alone I know he is lonely but he has these panic attacks and obsesses on everything. In the winter itâÂÂs his health, its better than mine IâÂÂm almost 70, we go to doctor after doctor they never find anything wrong. The doctors give him medication he doesnâÂÂt need and all it does is make me spend the day in the emergency room with him. I donâÂÂt have a life anymore. His newest obsession is about money, he has a lot, itâÂÂs been in trusts for almost 30 years. My sister who has health issues want her inheritance now and I mean now! He has always been giving and gifts us the allowable amount every year but now she wants what is in the trust or maybe itâÂÂs her much younger husband that sees she may not out live him and wants the money comingled before her kids get it. Everyone, including my father, walks on egg shells around my sister. My brother is an alcoholic and is no use. Well IâÂÂm done walking on egg shells and am going to go ask her why she feels so entitled when she know very well that if I have to spend all his money he will be taken care of first. I do have all the powers, she actually accused me of trying to keep the money for myself, and she is that stupid that she doesnâÂÂt understand any of the trusts. We actually recorded every visit with the attorneys and I given copies to both my siblings but all she heard was I have the power! At this point I spend almost every day managing his affairs, driving his everywhere and endless phone calls. He was banging on my door this morning before I even brushed my teeth with more endless question that at this point I know he will never understand again. Someone, my brother-in-law ?, is giving him all this advice about what to do with real estate, bank accounts and personal property for what reason I havenâÂÂt figured out yet. Everyone in the family knows how the trusts are set up. God know every conversation I have had with my father for the past 8 years are about what to do after he dies. I would gladly give up all the money if he would just leave me alone. I guess I just needed to vent but I really do understand what you are going through when someone takes your life away and you feel powerless to do anything about it because itâÂÂs a person you are suppose to love and care about.

Hi - I don't know all your history but have kind of been following your plight. I think I've pretty much pieced the story together now based on this thread. I admire what you're doing to start a new life. I have always pretty much been at least an equal breadwinner in our household which gives a certain peace of mind if the marriage were to implode. I've often wondered how people handle things if they've been out of the workforce as it seems you have been and then there's an implosion. I feel like I'm now learning first hand. I think some people feel trapped in this situation. It sounds like you didn't and have been determined to start a new life no matter how difficult. I wish you the best.

Oh wow Ellen, I hadn't heard this. I did see a youtube video from 2013 where he and his Diane were speaking with a reporter from the Toronto newspaper, in their home. I'll have to read the latest news.

We've noticed a warming/drying trend here for the past 5 years especially. More heat, for longer periods. This year we had a VERY unusual dry winter. About 2 inches of snow twice all winter and it melted away in a day. But we had a cooler spring and enough rain. Not a lot, but frequently enough to keep everything growing without much irrigation. And summer has been very warm, but, not as bad as usual. Or are we just getting used to it? [g]. It's stayed in the high eighties with a few days in the low 90s. So actually that is not as warm as previous summers. And it's been cooler at night. I've had the house fan on twice in July, which is not usual. The air temp has to be below 70 to make it worth it. We had a couple of heavy rainfalls in the past couple of weeks. The timing of the rain has kept me from having to water as much as I normally do. We do have a ban, so we can water a vegetable garden whenever we want, and hand water the rest if we want, and use the sprinklers only from 6p to 10p, 2x a week. I hate watering at night. I guess what I am trying to say is that despite having 5 years of hard to get through summers, this year has been easier, so hopefully those of you suffering the heat, can still think next summer could be better. This may be a 'one off' for me, but it's a welcome reprieve. Three years ago we installed rain barrels. I'm not clever enough or energetic enough or both, to set up a system with the rain barrels to automatically water, so I am using it to fill watering cans and water that way. And use it when I mix fertilizer. And build up some muscle at the same time. [g] Some of you may have the ability to set up a system with rain barrels. I highly recommend having rain barrels. Once you get them set up, they are a piece of cake to keep them filled. You can buy multiples and it really does help out. We still have room to expand to more barrels and use all our downspouts. If I ever get around to setting something up, I'd definitely add more. You can connect them one to the other. It's hard to change what you grow though. Sometimes it's a hardiness issue, but also your soil. A lot of the drought tolerant plants prefer sandy soil, not heavy clay. But, I have tried to add drought tolerant plants. Salvias for sure, I think Agastaches are pretty drought tolerant too. Lavender. I'm sure there are tons I have not explored. I do have heavier soil though, so I've been limited in how much salvia etc., I can use. I have tried to get around it by planting on the top of small slopes and elevating a part of the bed to put those that prefer good drainage. That seems to work out pretty well. I grow a lot of epimedium in the shade. They seem to be bulletproof for me. I also mulch heavily. That makes a big difference. Air conditioning and finding lots of things to do inside when it's too hot to go out. Gardening early in the day. :-)