My daughter came home with a T-shirt which I really rather liked.

Come Over to the Dark Side.
We have cookies.

I saw one last week I really liked:

"Silence is golden; duct tape is silver."

How about an old favourite?

BE ALERT!
Britain needs lerts.

apparently, so does America! hehehe!

At least in my part of the world, it has become a thing to present the parents of Honor Roll students with a bumper sticker that says something like:

"My daughter is an Honor Student at Hogwarts Middle School."

My S-I-L, a dog lover (and mother of an honor student) has a bumper sticker that reads:
My Border Collie is smarter than your Honor Student.

Along that line, I used to see one that said, "My kid beat up your honor student." I've also seen "When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns," and "God said it, I believe it, that settles it." There was an infamous one I've never seen myself that went, "I'm not deaf; I'm ignoring you."

I saw a truly vile one the other day and I was wondering if it it would be a hate crime if I ran him off the road or if I could claim temporary insanity. I was sitting in traffic behind a honking shiny new black pickup truck raised on its axles so that I was eye level with the bed of the vehicle. Dangling underneath, in a cunningly designed flesh colored knit sack were two moderately heavy spherical objects. The bumper sticker: Stroke This!

My favorite bumper sticker was on a drivers side window on the car of a student who had small toys and other cute objects glued all over, and I mean all over, her car, and read This is what a goddess looks like. It just tickled my funny bone.

My personal favorite, of course is:
"If you can read this...thank your teachers."

My 11 year old loves the show "Mythbusters" on the Discovery Channel. One of the host wears a t-shirt the says, "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

I also saw a great bumper sticker that read, "Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate."

Bumper stickers as literature and music: The Sticker Song

Saw one today that had me laughing for quite a while...(I was stuck in construction behind it....)

"The Good Witch Wore Boring Shoes"

Or its partner:

>Wizard of Oz is just the story of two shoe loving women

I love bumper stickers, but can't think of many off hand. Two that I used to have on my car:

>Just because you are paranoid does not mean they aren't out to get you

>I live in my own little world, but thats ok, they know me here

Most of the ones I remember clearly are political and I will only post them by request (I understand if youd rather now, but dang they are funny!)

>

I think my favorite was one I saw on a Volkswagen Beetle back in the 60's:
Powered by Trained Mice

You don't see many bumper stickers in the UK, sometimes one along the lines of If you can read this you are driving too Close
And the now very old and hairy one that used to be displayed after General Elections Come Back Guy Fawkes. All is Forgiven

One of the funniest I ever saw requires a little explanation; there used to be a little three-wheeler car called the Reliant Robin in the UK. Very economical, but something of a joke car. Someone had taken a BMW slogan and stuck it to the back window of their Reliant Robin. The slogan was

The Ultimate Driving Machine.

Here is a link that might be useful: The Ultimate Driving Machine?

I'm a wee bit anal about my car so I do not put things on it.. but if I did, I'd stick this bumper sticker on in a heartbeat:

"My other car is a broom."

Another favorite is:

Forty isn't old! (if you're a tree.)

PAM

This one has a little story, and a kind of puzzle too - happened to someone I know:
Imagine driving behind a car that has a plate that reads 'BEYOND'. Rather an odd word to put on a license plate, isn't it? Many minutes later it occurs to him that the make of the
car is a Horizon, and the color of the car is blue..., and the puzzle is solved!

One of my favourites was issued by the Kidney Foundation here:

Don't send your organs to Heaven.
Heaven knows we need them here.

A bumper sticker seen several years ago was put on by a husband to warn motorists traveling behind his wife. It said, "Caution, I brake for butterflies." I realized that I had actually braked for butterflies myself.

If we're including tee-shirts, one spotted recently said, "Stop reading my tee-shirt."

I love that Dragon bumper sticker!

If we're venturing into T-shirt territory, one that really cracked me up read: "Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints."

Seen on a pillow recently:

"For the best seat in the house, find the cat...."

Seen on a porsche:

>My other car is a bug

I love vanity license plates. One of my favs took me a while to get -RTQ-L8R. Once I remembered that the car belonged to our speech teacher, I got it - articulator.

I'm an infectious disease nurse and my all time favorites are:

"There is no vaccine against stupidity!"

"A tisket, a tasket, a condom or a casket!"

Other favorites are:

"Things just haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister"

"God is coming, and Boy, Is SHE angry!"

"Don't make me come down there! GOD"

Here's another one I saw recently:

"HEY YOU! Get out of the gene pool!"

PAM

A couple of my favorites:

"What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?"

"Visualize Whirled Peas"

I can't swear that this is true, but there is supposed to be a SUV in town, full of kids and bearing a vanity plate that says:
PB4UGO

Just last night, I saw a small Saturn car with a bumper sticker that said, "Caution: I stop for used books!" I actually contemplated following the person to strike up a bookish conversation. But I chickened out.

PAM

Agnes-find that car and shake that woman's hand!

We'll find her again!!!! She can't be too far out of our book-shopping area.

PAM

I like it when vanity plates go wrong. I once asked a woman why she had the letters 'N 4MOS' on hers, because I could only read it as 'infamous' or possibly 'informers'.

-

It was supposed to stand for her husband's initial and surname, N Amos.

wouldn't you be SSOOO tempted to fix it with a Sharpie?

We have very boring equivalents of 'bumper stickers' over here, if I've got the right idea of bumper stickers. Variations on 'Baby on Board' seem to be the favourites! Like 'Little Princess on board' and 'Naughty person on board'.

Cece, I'd adopt your nice one about dragons, but everyone's got a dragon in the garage (or in the coalshed) in these parts. Thanks for thinking of me, however,

Dido

"None of this nonsense, please"
Shirat haSticker is a wonderful song...I was in Philly for NFTY Convention and they did a concert for us. It was amazing.
on a t-shirt:
"It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
"Don't make me get my flying monkeys"
"got llama?"

I just bought my DH a T-shirt that reads like norcal's llama one -- "Got Border Collie?"

Love the flying monkeys!

My daughter has the 'flying monkeys' t-shirt, also one that says "I'm multi-talented - I can talk and p*** you off at the same time". It's true, too.

Dido, your mention of the 'baby on board' variations reminds me that I've been meaning to buy the one that says 'small person on board' for my husband's car. He's 5'4".

I've always liked the techy t-shirt slogans...like...

There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

Not actually bumper stickers ... but they could be:

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Acupuncture -- a jab well done.

I live in basketball country, and there is dead serious rivalry between the University of Louisville and the University of Kentucky. Some years ago U of L won the NCAA championship, and I saw a bumper sticker that said, "First in the Nation; Second in the State."

Another one I liked that I saw while inching my way to work in several inches of snow said, "Wouldn't you rather be riding a mule on Molokai?"

Saw one today that I am seriously considering ordering-though I don't stick things on my car as a rule....

FORGET WORLD PEACE....Visualize using your turn signal!

(bit of explanation for our friends from over the seas...a very popular bumper sticker a few years ago was:
Visualize World Peace...quickly followed by...
Visualize Whirled Peas)

I used to teach with a (divorced) woman who had a bumper sticker that said "Missing: Husband and Dog. Reward for dog."

I don't want anyone to think I have a speech problem, but I sometimes fantasize about making a bumper sticker that says:

I'D WATHER BE WEEDING

Saw this one:

"English Major on board: YOU do the math."

I want that one for DD.

On a very tiny car:
Hamster Feed: Cheaper Than Gas!

"I am Dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated."

mary md, I've been laughing for ten minutes over the Borg sticker. Thanks for sharing.

PAM