The Importance of a Good Title
20 years ago
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- 20 years ago
- 20 years ago
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Which is more important - Good Soil or good sun?
Comments (13)Cut the bottoms out of your containers, and use them for your tomato "raised bed" this year! Seriously, I have several things growing in 5-gallon buckets with the bottoms cut out and placed directly over this red Georgia clay, no tilling, no soil additions. The containers are filled with ProMix BX "growing medium", and the roots eventually burrow down into the clay. Clay soils are very nutrient-laden, and as long as the soil is kept moist, tomato roots can happily make their way down into them from an open-bottomed container. I found that it helps to mulch around the container as well as on top of the soil in the container. But for the time being, I agree that your plants will do MUCH better in direct sun than with less sun. Put your containers out there and make sure to keep them watered. If your containers are dark-colored, you should probably surround them with something light-colored, or paint them a light color. The heat of the sun on dark-colored containers can kill the roots and plants....See MoreImportance of matching styles of homes
Comments (14)Well first to the lot size, they are good sized lots. There is definitely room inbetween. The smallest lots are about 1.5 acres, most of the lots are 2.5-3 acres. The lot we're thinking about buying is almost 6 acres. The neighborhood itself is rather bland, as far as the land goes. It is just a large former pasture, turned into a neighborhood. So the majority of the lots don't' have any trees except for the rear property lines. The lot we're considering is the most attractive lot in our eyes. Since its a corner lot, it is fairly narrow at the front but widens out (pie shaped) to a fairly wide lot at the rear. So if we back up the house enough, we'll have nothing but a view of mature trees on the back of our lot. If we build this specific house, we will be the biggest house in the neighborhood unfortunately, by about 800 sq ft. The largest home in the neighborhood currently is about 4,000 sq ft. The rest of them are 3300-3700 with a couple around 2900. I know it isn't the best policy to be the biggest and/or nicest home in the neighborhood, but unfortunately that is most likely just going to be our reality. This house is probably going to be our last house we live in before we retire (and we're a good 25-30 years away from retiring). So I am not going to fret too much about that aspect of it, as its just a reality for us with a town this small. I still hesitate to put the street and city just because I'm a little paranoid that one of the homeowners would find it and see that we're criticizing the neighborhood, and their style of homes before we even buy a lot! Maybe that example I posted isn't completely accurate. Most of them are attractive houses, however, I'm sure there are a few that would get torn apart on this forum :) They are fairly typical for this part of the country, just regular ranch and country style homes. Part of our problem is in our particular small town, there are 2 (literally, two) neighborhoods of middle to upper/middle class style homes. We currently live in one of them. Our current neighborhood is the smaller of the two with slightly smaller homes and only 1/2 acre lots. We're thinking of moving for a few reasons, the first being we want a pool (can't build one on our lot, just discovered that about 2 months ago) and we want a little more room to perhaps build a detached garage/shop on our land, and just have a little more room to stretch out and not be directly next to our neighbors. So we are extremely limited on our options if we want to live in a neighborhood. So its either this neighborhood, or we find some acreage in the country and build there. We still like the idea of being in a neighborhood. Plus this particular one is outside the city limits, but just barely. So its probably 2.5 miles to the grocery store, school, church, restaurants, etc. Thanks all for the tips so far!...See MoreCustodial parent titles
Comments (8)"I feel for your SD because it must be crushing to have to relearn all over again that her mom does not care to be involved in her life. It seems that SDs will always give the BM the benefit of the doubt and will forgive and think they might actually come through this time, so it is like a fresh cut each time. SD wants BM to be if not involved at least more interested, and in our case, SD does not know where her rage comes from, but I know it is from not getting the attention from the one person she wants it from the most. I have told DH, I am here - I am the one doing the raising, disciplining, loving (as hard as that can be sometimes), but it does not matter because she needs her mom. Let me clarify, she needs who she wants her mom to be. Her mom talks a good game to SD but getting her to follow through is difficult." EXACTLY!!! Thank you mama22 for sharing. Sylvia~ DH & BM shared 50/50 custody without a court order until SD was in 2nd grade. During that year, BM threatened DH for the umpteenth time that she was going to take SD away & not let him see her because he didn't do what she wanted. I take the blame in sharing my experience in family law... I told him he has RIGHTS but without a court order, she very well could take SD & he had nothing to say he has a right to see her. So, after the third time she threatened him with that, he filed to get his rights on paper. She immediately filed for full custody & child support. (He didn't file anything for child support because if they both have 50/50, they are each supporting her the same... but the issue of support was brought by BM initially) She spent the duration of the battle (about 6 months) telling SD how "daddy is trying to take you away from me" and reassuring her that she won't let that happen. She tried to manipulate the therapist, got SD to tell the therapist that she really wanted to just live with BM... but then SD had no explanation of why. Then three weeks after their trial & DH getting his court order for 50/50, BM moved during DH's week & kinda dropped SD in his lap saying she couldn't take SD with her so she's gonna let him have her "temporarily" and that devastated SD. Within a few months, SD was telling classmates she was moving with BM & saying her goodbyes. BM was telling her how we took her away but that she was going to get her & she was going to go live there with BM. It was all lies. During the first year, BM canceled weekends which only made SD more emotionally upset. We would make plans to do fun stuff to keep her mind off it, but SD would spend the whole time talking about "if my mom was here ______" and though she was in counseling, she refused to open up. Instead, she said what she thought everyone wanted to hear. She got bad about lying to her second counselor, pretending everything in the world was fine... she doesn't NEED counseling. But, all along, BM has been the one keeping it alive. When she would come get SD, she would always (yes, every time) show up hours early & sign her out of school early. SD wasn't doing real well to begin with because of her emotional stuff dealing with BM moving away so suddenly. Finally DH told her she had to let SD finish the day in school because she is falling behind & needs to be there as much as possible. It wasn't convenient for BM to wait around so that's when BM started sending grandma to get her. That was three years ago. DH took BM to court a year later asking that only BM may pick up SD. Grandma was picking her up & taking her to BM (sometimes keeping her instead too) but BM was not giving her much attention, which caused the emotional problems to get worse... so DH figured if he got an order forcing BM to come get her, she would either drive up to get her (showing she cared) or cancel more time, which was kinda what we were hoping. We did not want to ask the court to cut off BM's time because all along, BM has been feeding SD lies that we are just trying to remove her from the picture & that would have seemed true if he tried to cut off BM's time. We've tried involving her in activities so she would rather be here than with BM... none of it has worked. BM has insisted all along, SD will eventually live there. I think SD stopped trying in school because she figured it doesn't matter because she's going to be leaving to go live with mom anyway. As long as BM continues to feed SD lies & false hope with promises, and as long as SD believes (or wants to believe) BM will follow through, it feels as if we are stuck. It seems like SD knows her mom is full of it, but she's not ready to admit it or face it. I think it has been a very slow process but seeing mom have another baby that not only gets to live with her, but since the baby is the string to holding on to the BF, BM appears to dote on him to SD (plus babies need all the attention too). Personally, I think BM schleps him off on others most of the time but doesn't want us to know that so she dotes on him around SD, which only makes things harder for her because she has struggled for years to get mom to pay attention to her & her mom, in trying to show us what a happy family she has with BF & baby, it's probably a knife through SD's heart each time. SD is realizing that BM is probably never going to seek custody of her and have her live there, especially now that they had to move from a fairly huge 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom mobile home. and Friday, SD saw that mom could care less what happens to her as far as school goes. I think SD knows that she won't be living with BM next year & BM says "I don't care if she has to repeat 6th grade again!" I mean, I don't always get along well with her & I do come across as harsh sometimes, but I care what happens to her. I think it's important for her to have an education & the biggest reason I am in favor of holding her back is because DH told her that if things don't improve, and if she keeps getting F's in multiple classes, he would have to hold her back because it indicates she is not ready to do more advanced work. But we don't WANT to see her held back, we want to see her work habits get better because each year, the assignments get harder. The bottom line is DH said it will happen if she continues to lie about finishing or turning in her work. She just admitted that she goes to a morning tutor class where she's supposed to bring questions about math & get an understanding so she can improve, she admitted she goes to the class & just sits there. Well, we all have been getting up an hour early twice a week for her to go so she can get help understanding math but her grade actually went down since she started it. We understand she has problems but she also needs to be at least trying, but she's been giving lip service and holding her back is a last resort. BM didn't want to discuss options to help her... so seeing her mom has an "I don't care" attitude, I'm getting hopeful she is going to come around. I saw something in her face I had never seen before and it just broke my heart. Another reason I think she and I have not been able to get along is that I think she knows that I don't believe or buy into her BS... she knows that I know what her mom is all about. I'm sure she knows much better because she is behind the scenes with her mom & hears her mom lying about stuff she knows about. She's now getting to the age where she's figuring out that mom lies to her the way she lies to everyone else. But, by no means have we been dragging BM into SD's life. Personally I think SD would be better off if BM would either step up or step off.. but this constant roller coaster she keeps her on is so hard on her. I don't know if that dynamic can be changed as long as SD fantasizes about living with her mom & BM keeps the dream alive with empty promises. We cannot financially afford to instigate a court proceeding to limit BM's contact, although it has been suggested that he seek supervised visits because of how BM discusses everything with SD. Me personally, I have been so frustrated I have welcomed the thought of SD going to live with her mom. AT least then she would see that it's not the fantasy that she has drummed up in her head. BM is focused on the new baby & trying to salvage her relationship with BF. I think deep down, SD knows it but still fantasizes that it would be different if she just lived there. The worse part in SD's situation is that it's such a long heartbreaking process to go through... and she may never actually give up on the fantasy. We can only hope....See MoreWhat, in your opinion, is the WORST book (fiction category) ?
Comments (99)My M-i-L watches the TV evangelists-one that she watches enjoyed the movie, becuase "it is all fiction-not one true word in the book or movie-it's a good story, that's all." Another one was highly offended by both the book and the movie. What I find interesting is that in the first book written about the main character, Angels and Demons, the Catholic Church is the innocent victim-in the DaVinci Code she is the perpretator of all nefarious deeds...Brown clearly just wanted to write thrillers, not necessarily attack the church. But we hear little mention of the first book. Mind you, it was as much a strain to the logic as the DVC...how he escapes so many death-assuring situations without super powers boggles the mind....See More- 20 years ago
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