I have been looking all over for the white or black bat plant. If you have one that you would be willing to trade.. please let me know. no seeds, please. I have tried these from seed about 3 times now with no luck. I have a large list of things for trade, just give me an idea of what variety of plant you might be interested in and I will email a list. thanks!!

Katkin Will have to wait awhile for the trade as the white I bought,though large almost 5 feet with 3 foot leaves has no offsets but it does have aerial roots. Have never seen th ose before but then I've never seen one this large lol. Wish it were in flower then I could be sure that it is the white. The vendor knew that there are two white species T. nivea and T integrifolia but couldn't tell me how to tell the difference lol From the sheer size of it I suspect it is T.nivea. Lenette There are several hybrids but don't think any are registered with names?? The gray with green is attractive but what is more "exotic" than a black flower?? A lady in Malaysia sent me a pic. of an unidentified Tacca lining the driveway that was taller than the palm trees !!lol Have heard of these but have never seen one. If you google the genus Tacca you find that there are over 25 species ranging from Madagascar to SE Asia into tropical Australia. Obviously with that much range there would be a lot of variation. Have always been curious as to the function of the "whiskers" I would guess a way for the pollinator to get up to the flower??. Got another bit of info that there is a "variagated form has white borders on the leaves.!! Refuse to look for that can't imagine what the price would be lol gary

Ima, I'm not assuming that most people's silence has to do with support or no support. Please see my above post to JNM about that. KKNY and TOS also reminded me of my own Mom, even though I think we are close to the same age. When I started posting here and throughout my marriage and stepfamily issues, much of what both of these ladies posted really bothered me. I didn't want to hear about second marriage statistics or other such negative stuff, either. My own Mom had done enough to make me "miserable" throughout my courtship and marriage to what is now my ex-husband and I really didn't need to hear any more. Especially when I came to this forum for support. I married a divorced guy, and a freshly divorced one at that. He had been in a long-term marriage and had two adult daughters. My Mom didn't like the situation at all. She told me I should call his ex and find out why they really got divorced and who was really the cheater. She asked me why he was in such a hurry to get married again when he just got out of a long-term marriage. She told me that his daughters would always resent me. My Mom also said many men will tell a woman they are wooing that they had been in a loveless marriage and hadn't had sex or slept with their ex's for a long, long time before the divorce. Ouch. That is what my ex told me. And that's what KKNY and TOS said, too. But how would my Mom know anything - she's been happily married to my Dad for 53 years. I did end up on this forum because of dysfunctional step family issues that were making me miserable. And the things KKNY and TOS stated didn't help me at all. I needed support, not a bucket of cold water thrown in my face. If I wanted that, all I had to do was talk to my Mom. When I say this, I truly mean it. I still believe in love and I hope that everyone on this forum, including you, enjoys a long and successful second marriage and that their stepfamily issues get peacefully resolved. And I do think it is possible, but there are many challenges along the way. My marriage did not work out. I was able to get a legal annulment after five years of marriage, rather than a divorce. Of course there is a story behind that and it isn't pretty and I can only pray that story remains private and kept with those that I truly trust, my attorney and the judge. That is why the privacy thing is so huge to me. After the annulment, as I pondered my life and my future, I eventually came back into this forum to look back at my past and I forced myself to read my old posts. I saw one I wrote, just a few weeks before I discovered what he was up to, in which I went on and on about how much I loved him and what a wonderful husband he was. Though it was hard to read, I got through it. I went further back into some of the posts in which I had exchanges with KKNY and TOS and in which I dismissed them as being bitter trouble makers. And what I saw were two ladies who have been deeply hurt and who are devoted mothers. They say what they think, most definitely, but they speak from the reality of their lives and their experiences. I don't see them as bitter, and unable to move on, but rather that they state the ex-wives point of view and the stepchild's point of view and the reasons for those points of view. It is somewhat unpleasant to acknowledge, but I think they are probably accurate in what they say about those points of view. The points of view of the bio mom and the step child are really pretty important if there is any hope of trying to build some sort of a solid foundation as a step family with a happy future. And even if the bio mom is less than involved, she is still the mother and she will resent it if you try to "replace" her. Tough as it is, I think it is the truth. And I know your situation may at times seem impossible, but I think if you could somehow disengage from the anger you feel toward your SD's bio mom it might help improve the situation over time. I do think that is the best hope you would have for some peace with the situation because no one will win if you continue to fight one another. I also hope that there is some way that you, TOS and KKNY can start over again. Best wishes, June

I would agree with some posts that mom should take the primary role of discipline. I do not discipline my skids. I'll verbally tell them off if they talk back to me but they clearly know i'm a fair person and i just do not take anyone cr*p including their dads...lol... I butt heads with stepdaughter but not directly. Its what she says to her dad that i just get up in arms. demanding that we do not do anythign until she visits...so i told my dh...so your son and our son will suffer and be bored until she decides to comedown to visit and will only visit if we are 'doing ' a trip outting??? how shallow is that???? he thanks God told her that regardless whether she was here or not plans will be made and that she will just miss them if she is not here. And he said this ot her before i gave my opinion so i'm glad that this values are instigated. Its not fair to my SS or son that they miss out on a trip because she decided to be withher friends....i'm ranting....sorry. Yah, about the divorce line, kids say the darndest things. You know , even when things are going great here in my household, a few years back at the beginning of the relationship, the kids would do this. THey would pop up saying out of the blue if my dh would get back togheter with mom....i think its just the kids are having a good fun time and it reminds them of what they had in thepast and i dont think you should think too much of it...i know it hurts...and you feel...wtf? what am i doing wrong? You doing nothing wrong...its just an innocent child expressing something , a need, they clearly do not fully understand. Continue with the positive reinforcement, step back onthe discipline and let mom spank her child. I'm old school as well and believe that a little spank when things get out of hand needs to be dealt with but i do not believe in spankingother peoples children. I wouldn't want my child spanked by stepmom or stepdad or even aunt, uncle etc... My SD slapped my sons hand for doing something bad. I told her, no, you do not discipline, its my job and my job only wth your dad. You are not an adult. (biomom places her as the discipline for her younger brother so she assumes the role with no thought) I know your mom places you inthe position but under my roof you will not have that title. She never did it again and i think she is happy in not feeling responsible. I do not beleive in placing such responsibility on a child shoulders..they should concentrate onlearning,,having fun and being a kid.