She's the one who should get a life. How old is she? and this is the first moment gardening as art-form has crossed her mind. I read a thing on the weekend by Penelope Hobhouse, emminent gardener, who remarked that when she was very young (and knew nothing) she regarded gardening as extended housework, a matter of self-respect, to keep the house environs looking tidy and reasonably attractive. Obviously that's as far, at most, as your friend has made it.

Hi Wattleblossom, please do not feel embarassed as I am like that too, well hubby says I am too fussy so what, everything has a place and this morning I dug up and transplanted one white Callistemon and a Ixora as I feel that the climbing Crepuscules I will be planting on a arch very close to them this weekend will make these two plants looked very washed out, so I have moved them to somewhere else where they will look better.

And thats what gardening is all about one flower complimenting another, sometimes they dont and if that is the case change it, after all it your Garden. I wonder what her garden is like. And to be honest no I have never had anyone say things like that to me and if they did well I would be upset too.

Cheer up, and I bet your beautiful red climbing rose will compliment your red Callistemons really well ......MM.

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I am in my mid twenties and have been a keen gardener since my early teens - well over 10 years now. I have to admit though, I don't have that many friends my age who are also keen gardeners. Though I have introduced a very good friend who is also my age to the joys of gardening and she is slowly getting addicted too.
I guess I don't bother showing people around my garden unless they show a genuine interest in it - otherwise they just don't get it, do they? I often wonder what some of my neighbors (the ones who obviously don't show much interest in their own gardens) think of me out in my garden all the time - in all weather (as I love nothing better than planting new plants in all this rain we are getting in the SW at present), they must think I am crazy.
so don't feel embarrassed - it is your hobby and passion. My partner is a great artist, I often wish I was too, then I remember my own garden, and I tell myself I am an artist too, just using a different medium.
Rach

It's these small details which make gardens either appealing or a chooks breakfast. Non-gardening types love or hate particular gardens in just the same way garden obsessed types do. Only thing is, they can't put a finger on what it is, that makes them feel one way or the other about a particular garden.Your friend/aquaintence would be unaware how many individual,small decisions are necessary to create a garden which is pleasing to the eye.
So,I would just put that comment to the side because it's an unqualified one, and so what if your obsessive.The highest achievers in every field have obsessive personalities.
Now.As a remedial course of action I would recommend shouting yourself a minimum of 8 to 10 new bare root roses and a handfull of accent/border type plants to accompany them.
Sweet garden dreams.
Mr Thrip

You sound like a perfectly normal, well-adjusted gardener to me! Or should I say a REAL gardener.
There will always be those who do not understand....their loss.
Happy gardening!
Cheers,
Dee.

I once took the time to explain to a friend that the tree she had was a Tamarisk, not a Tamarind, and proceded to explain the difference. It seemed perfectly natural to me that she should find this interesting, as it was a lovely tree growing in her garden. She gave me the most contemptuous look. This was a professional person, with barely a scrap of life apart from her job. I felt deeply sorry for her.
Keep working on your friend. One day she may see that you experience joys that she could not imagine, just by walking out your door and visiting your garden.

How could anyone with a soul knock the pursuit of beauty.
To create an attractive scene using plants is a true art. Gardening is the most ephemeral of the arts and sometimes its sucess is only fleeting. However, its very impermanence makes it even more precious.
Without artists like you the world would be a much duller place
Deryn

Hear Hear Deryn!!
I think your friend is the one missing out on the pleasure and sense of achievement a gardener enjoys.
Ignore her-she sounds quite rude and insensitive.
Happy gardening.
cheers
Michelle
BTW my husband says that the roses/garden get more attention than the kids and him!!

LOL. Wattleblossom don't be offended by these people as they just don't and generally 'never do' GET IT!! Just remember for those like her/him, I am amazed at the amount of people I know that actually show some genuine interest in my garden and how it's coming along. It would be a boring place if we all thought the same, so apart from feeling empathy for these people I could never despise them. We are the ones that ultimately 'WIN' regardless as I am only trying to please myself and no-one else. (Apart from my wife the general landscape adviser of course!) It's a mind painting that we create and will never appeal to everyone, including some other gardeners and even fellow rosarians at times. Chin up and it sounds a pretty good mix to me......

Regards
Garry

Wattleblossem I think maybe your friend needs to get a life, there is no greater pleasure than walking around a lovely garden with a friend admiring the changes & hearing the birds & seeing bees buzzily collecting nector,swapping cuttings etc. just enjoy your garden & think what the friend is missing.
Jan.

Sorry Rach, no age put-down intended. Some gardeners are born to it, as you were; others go through a learning process. P Hobhouse was describing her learning process.

Maybe if you gave her the first flowers of the Etoille de Holland and she sees and smells it's beauty you friend will get a bit of and idea of what your garden means to you, she may even start to think about her garden and how nice a Rose bush would look just there.

The first plant you plant is the start of lots of visits to plant nurseries.

Marion

Thanks everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement. I've really enjoyed reading about how passionate you all are about your gardens.
Sometimes I think, for all the time I've spent planning and working in my garden, I should have achieved much more than I have. I suppose like most of you, I tend to look around, seeing only the mistakes and/or how I can improve a particular spot. I then start planning and imagining how much better I hope it will look next year, knowing that next year, I'll be thinking about the year after that. It never stops, and I hope it never does.
Thanks again to everyone.

My own gardens are a mish mash of what ever was here when I arrived and what takes my fancy.A lot of my plants come from being saved from my plant killing friends.
I used to be a posty so I got to see some beautiful gardens
(and score some freebie plants from customers).
Don't ever be embarrassed about your love or knowledge of what you want.I am sure that when you have Etoile trained and the calli is in flower you'll post a pic so we can share your delight.I surprise some of my visitors because I have flowers and roses as well.
They expect a working farm to be tractors and mud etc.I see farming as the extended form of gardening.
WHen my husband died someone suggested that it was time I stopped and smelled the roses,problem was I didn't have any growing .That gave me the excuse to get out and go rose shopping.My garden became my place of refuge and I wouldn't be with out one.