I'm not saying it's all my SIL's doing. I'm wondering if that isn't the case because of his upbringing and the things he's said about working his parents. This was said during a private conversation with my SIL, that I can not discuss on an open board. Not at this time anyway. I'm sorry I cannot explain more. I doubt I'll ever know for sure where the better gramma comment came from. It doesn't matter where it originated, it anyway, it still hurt like, pardon my french, H E double hockey sticks! As for Patty's comments that were quoted, she said "could be" meaning she wasn't sure either. We're just discussing the possibilities here, trying to find answers, not accusing anyone. Up until this point, I've had no real concern about our SIL. Even now I can't say that I don't like him. I'm not happy with his reaction to my needing sleep while on vacation, though if I were to write up a pros and cons, I'm sure the pros would outweigh the cons by a long shot. Being married, with in laws, myself, I realize it's not always easy blending the ways of both families into one that works for all involved. My MIL was downright rude about the way I did things when I first married her oldest son. Being brought up on the Thumper Rule, I was shocked! It seemed to me that there wasn't a thing I did right and she pushed the issue with my hubby, which to me it seemed he sided with her. Looking back, I realize he was just being quiet, not wanting to take either side, where I was hoping for comfort. I'm sure he didn't understand why I was being so "sensitive" as his family does not hold anything back! From the outside it might look like they don't love each other. From the inside, where I've been for over 34 years now, I've learned that it's their way of keeping each other accountable. Not a bad thing, but boy did it take a while to understand that. I'm very much a "Thumper Rule" sore of person still and find it very hard to "step on someone's toes" so to speak and tell them I don't like what they are doing unless they ask outright. I like harmony and was blessed to live a very harmonious life throughout my whole childhood. Up until the move to big bad Omaha, during the mid sixties, I thought everyone loved each other. Family or not. My family life was still "perfect". Maybe that's why I don't know how to deal with my current situation. I don't believe a MIL should butt her nose into her children's marriages. It's a new and personal relationship that needs to grow on its own. There will be ups and downs, but it's not my place to push my way in and tell either of them how to live their married life. However, after being treated the way I was, I feel I do have the right to let my feelings be known so they know why we will not be staying at their home again and the reason's why. Personally, I'd like to tell the in laws or anyone else that happens to stay at their home, that our daughter did not learn that way of treating guests from me, but I will not do so unless they bring it up. LOL ellendi you are so right. I want to have a good relationship with both my daughter and her husband. I pray they have as great a marriage as her Dad and I have had and his parents, have in their second marriages. I do believe it's best to talk to our daughter alone the first time. After that, if we Skype while her husband is there and he brings it up, I'll discuss it. Otherwise, I don't feel I know him well enough yet to bring it up over Skype. Which is part of the problem. Neither of us know each other that well yet. The first time we visited he was on duty during the day. When he arrived home, both hubby and I noticed a vibe from him that we felt, he needed family time, so we'd head back to our hotel shortly after he arrived home. The second time when hubby and I stayed with them, our SIL was off duty for the week and we did lots of activities together. We spent Christmas day on the beach. I don't go into any water with fishes (don't ask LOL) so I sat on the beach, playing with the baby while they all boogie boarded. A couple days later, I volunteered to stay home so they could go snorkling without having to worry about the baby on the beach in the sun. The beach they were going to didn't have a good place for those that didn't come to snorkel. No shade. Hubby and I had baby duty, of course, and it became very tiring for us both. One would change her while the other ran down to the kitchen to make her bottle. Neither of us got much sleep that week and were exhausted when we got home agreeing next time we'd try and get a cottage on the beach or stay in a hotel suite. I don't know if this trip would have turned out better had my hubby been with me. His guess is they wouldn't have treated me the way they did. We'll never know. Now I'm just waiting for the time to pass so I know our daughter is away. She and the baby sleeps until around 9:30 Hawaii time, which is five hours behind where I live. It's not even seven am there.

I'm sorry I can't think of a way to say this gently -- But it sounds like you have planned the rest of your life with a "me and my daughter" mentality, and the time for that mindset appropriately ended about 10 years ago. After a late start, it seems your daughter has managed to launch herself into a successful, independent adult life. And while it may not feel like it right now, that's a good thing and as it should be. For her, that is. Now what about you? Well, I'd say it's time to do the same -- Time to launch your own idependent adult life. You're no longer responsible for your child, only for yourself. And if you're healthy, you're far from old and still have many options. Where would you truly prefer to live? (Planning only for yourself -- NOT around your daughter.) Where can you afford to live now, work now, saving a bit each year? Forgive your daughter. Just turn around and walk away -- walking off in your own direction. Walk toward what you want, not away from her. And let her know you'll be happy to see her wherever, whenever.

I started to say I thought the LiGi wasn't really necessary for one person but who am I to judge? At this stage I don't think I'd invest in it just for myself. No question it might be hard to adjust to a machine with fewer options than my 3035. OTOH, I liked the Bosch very much when I had it several years ago even though it didn't have the internal heater so it was more limited in terms of whitening. Was surprised to see the model with the heater -- in fact there are 2. They must be feeling the heat from the Lux. Must say, the Bosch condenser dryer was my favorite so far -- over Miele and Asko. (Asko was least fave). Cannot for the life of me understand why retailers don't set up a test station for washers (though they might sell fewer if they did). Some do set up sink faucets and shower faucets live so you can judge -- it's such a huge help. F.ex. if I needed a w/d I would consider Electrolux. But how to judge it vs others -- only Larsi has owned them all!

Where is the closet? I think their best option for usable space is a bunk bed. Here is one other layout. I am not sure if the bed sizes are correct.I laughed a bit about this post. When I was a kid, my two sisters and I shared a bedroom. One was four years younger and the other was eight. Our room was rather large though - enough for two twins and double and a couple of dressers. I wasn't crazy about the arrangement when I was a teen, but it was extra incentive to get out on my own.