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The Kitchen Table

My mind says one thing, my hear says another...

millburn_nj_po_mom

17 years ago

I am leaving tomorrow nite to go to Florida (Appolo Beach) with my son, dil and grandchildren.

My mind says I need this vacation (after losing my husband), but my heart feels guilty because he would have loved it (especially the ocean - He absoutely loved the ocean) and I would have loved to be taking the vacation with him also.

Sheryl - NJ

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Comments (14)

millburn_nj_po_mom
Original Author
17 years ago
It's suppose to be heart!
alisande
17 years ago
I would have loved to be taking the vacation with him also.

Oh, but you are! I have no doubt that he'll be with you all the way.

Your family needs you, just as much as you need them. Go, relax, and enjoy.
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country_bumpkin_al
17 years ago
I think what you're feeling is part of the "grief journey"! (Remember, we're on a journey we don't have a map for). Maybe what you're feeling isn't really "guilt"..but the sadness of the reality that your husband isn't there to enjoy this with you! Take your trip and try to reflect on the wonderful memories you have of him. I've been on the d@mn journey almost 14mos., and sometimes the sadness is overwhelming..especially at what would have been "special" times!
OklaMoni
17 years ago
I am sure, you will be taking him along in your heart. Go, and do things you both would enjoy together.

Moni
irishdancersgram
17 years ago
He'll be right there by your side, holding your hand, while you take those walks on the beach...Like the others have said, go and be with your family.....
wanda_va
17 years ago
Sheryl, go and have a wonderful time! You deserve it. Your DH will be with you in your heart and happy that you are getting on with life. Hugs!
socks
17 years ago
What everyone else said. Do go, and don't feel guilty. He would want you to be with your family, especially the grandkids.

Have a relaxing, peaceful, pleasant time.
coloredthumb
17 years ago
From the way you yearn to have him with you on this vacation He must have been a wonderful man. His spirit is wonderful as well and he is enjoying what he wants in that next place beyond the veil. He will be strolling the beach and doing all the things he would have loved before his demise. Go be with your family and share with them the wonderful memories you all have of a man so cared for by all. They need to know all the good and truly wonderful things your lives together brought to light.
Blessings Abound
CT
mjny
17 years ago
Sheryl, is this the first vacation you have had since your DH has past? The firsts of anything without loved ones are so very hard. Sometimes just the anticipation of the day or events make us feel a lot worse.

I think you will have a heavy heart. And that is ok.

But go.

Your DH loved the ocean, and he WILL be close to you in your heart.

This beach/ocean vacation will be a wonderful time to share your stories of DH with your family and grandchildren.

God Bless and Hugs. oh, and don't forget the sunscreen.
mimi_boo
17 years ago
I bet he's already there - waiting for you. Go and enjoy.
teresava
17 years ago
He'll be with you...what good would it be to sit home and be sad? Make some new memories with your son & grandkids!
neesie
17 years ago
Your hubby wouldn't want you to sit around and lose this opportunity to go to the seashore. Remember that song at the end of "Titanic".....You are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on......

Go and enjoy being with your family!
veta
17 years ago
Sheryl, while none of us can feel another's pain, I do know what you mean when you say your heart feels guilty. I lost my husband a year ago on July 21st. For the previous several years, we spent the winters in Destin, FL. He, too, loved the ocean. I haven't been back since, but I know when I do go, I will think about him and all the things we enjoyed together there. Please go and take him with you in your heart.
Veta
kayjones
16 years ago
Sheryl, I went through the loss of my husband 2 years ago - I am feeling your pain. He loved the sun and water and Florida. We lived in Missouri and had the big house on the lake and the boat - he was living a part of his dream. He would have retired in May, 2007 - he passed away in April, 2007 from pancreas cancer. We had planned to retire to Florida in the fall of 2007. When he was near the end of this horrid journey, he told me to go ahead and move to Florida, which I did - he said he would go with me in spirit - I feel his presence every day. Yes, he would have absolutely loved living here! Every day, I feel a bit guilty to be living in paradise, in a place we should be enjoying together, but it wasn't meant to be, but he is with me in spirit.

Please enjoy your vacation and take your husband's spirit with you. Spend some time alone and heal your soul if you can - the ocean is great therapy!

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