I may have gone to the extreme on not caring. I was overwhelmed (caring "too much") about aspects of my life. The budget is ok, but not in great shape as I keep spending too much on going out to eat. I don't care if I make all Ds, if I ever finish the house (in this crappy market, who does care?!), if I lose my 20 more pounds (I gained 4 and lost 2 this week), haven't worn skirts, heels, makeup, or hose in the past two weeks (who can look good swaddled in six layers of sweaters, boots, socks, long pants)... Langour of late winter. Or something else. Ordered some St. John's wort. I have been having crushing depression once a month for about three or four days. I really didn't want to take something 100% of the time when I only need it 20% of the time. And then further thought, Huh, why not? Maybe I'll kill two birds with one stone. I have been sleeping better since I decided not to push so hard on everything. Anxiety or antihistimines, whichever it was. The yoga mat is still trying to get me loose. I am getting new glasses, sunglasses, and contacts next week. Got my eyes checked and ordered them all online. Did the $39 route; I'm really curious to see if it's as great as Ed made it out to be. My big brother has been on his way over to look at moving the electrical box for two weeks now, but has yet to make it. I hired a handyman to come redo the entire back window and he'll contact me next week. Seems strange hiring someone and paying them when I know Ed could, but won't, do it. Silly. But I gotta do what I gotta do. As I walked to class on Tuesday, I was wrapped head to toe in fur, and every inch covered so that the icy wind couldn't cut into me. Still did on my legs, but other than that... and I was thinking, by the end of the semester, I'll be sweating! Only two days later (yesterday) I already make it to a pants and long sleeve shirt only? Not even the end of the semester. Shesh! Yes, our schools were closed on Friday due to the cold weather, but that's because we are not equipped to handle it. Truly. We can't stand at bus stops in frigid weather. But then we didn't shut down for a heatwave last summer like the northeast did. Turnabout. Turnabout.

Hellloooo Healthy Peeps! My exercise routine went to hell in the proverbial handbasket. DH and I bought a business in NH (we live in MA) and agreed to work at another location up there, as well as our jobs that we have here during the week. Add a concussed teenager who needs PT two times a week and the holidays..it has been ugly over here. The good news is that my weekend gig is busy and I haven't time to over eat. I do miss Crossfit a lot. In my new job I make Waffles and burned my hand pretty badly on some caramelized sugar. I was afraid that it would keep me from the gym, but it isn't as tight as I thought it would be, so I totally could have gone there this morning. I'm just so freaking TIRED! So I decided to just be kind to myself and take it slow. BIL told me that some people were asking for me which is nice. Someone on FB posted this post from Michael Moore, who I dont' always agree with, but it has stuck with me this week and I thought I'd throw it out there for you all..... I am now in Week 42 of my walks. Each day, 30 minutes, that's it. Thousands of you have joined me since that Sunday night on March 18 when, as a joke, I said I was going for a walk. I had read that morning in the paper that there were now more people in the U.S. on anti\-depressants than those who go to the movies. I tweeted out that maybe that's the problem \-\- perhaps if people got out and went to the movies more they might feel better. This unleashed a lively conversation about mood\-aletering drugs, the lousy movies these days in theaters, the rip\-off prices for 3D films, etc. Finally, someone wrote: "Sometimes I think what I need is just a brisk walk." I tweeted, "Hey, there's an idea! I'm putting my shoes on right now." I went out and came back home after 30 minutes \-\- and a few hundred of you had amazingly joined me where you live. So I went walking the next night, probably out of some sort of obligation because so many had written to say "please let's do it again tonight!" So I did. And the night after that. By the end of the week it was hard to determine how many thousands were now going out with me on these "virtual walks" in hundreds of cities and towns, but it had taken off like a rocket and so we all went walking every night from that point on. Now it's 250 days later. What a simple, great idea that person had! Some have asked, "Why are we walking?" "What's the cause?" There is no cause other than to go for a walk. We do it just because it feels good. We do it because we can. We do it because it's free and it takes no time. All you need to know is how to put one foot in front of the other (or, for the disabled who've joined in, by any means necessary). It's the perfect slacker/schlub activity. I am often asked "How much weight have you lost from all this walking?" For a while I didn't understand the question. I mean, why would I want to lose anything? I have enough trouble finding my keys! Then I got it \-\- skinny people (1/3 of the country) want us, the majority, to be like them. That's so nice of them. But the truth is, exercise does not work, diets do not work, feeling crummy does not work. Nothing works. My advice: Quit trying to be something you're not, be happy with the life you've been given, and just go for a pleasant walk outside. With me. Wherever you are. Get off the treadmill, stop drinking diet Coke, throw out all the rules. It's all a scam and it conspires to keep you miserable. If it says "low\-fat" or "sugar\-free" or "just 100 calories!" throw it out. Remember, one of the main tenets of capitalism is to have the consumer filled with fear, insecurity, envy and unhappiness so that we can spend, spend, spend our way out of it and, dammit, just feel better for a little while. But we don't, do we? The path to happiness \- and deep down, we all know this \-\- is created by love, and being kind to oneself, sharing a sense of community with others, becoming a participant instead of a spectator, and being in motion. Moving. Moving around all day. Lifting things, even if it's yourself. Going for a walk every day will change your thinking and have a ripple effect. You'll find yourself only eating when you're truly hungry. And if you're not hungry, go clean your room, or have sex, or call a friend on the phone. Without knowing it, you'll starting eating like the French (there is no French word for "fast\-food") \-\- and you will feel better. You do not feel better admonishing yourself or beating yourself up or setting up a bunch of unrealistic rules and goals with all the do's and dont's that are just begging to be broken. You wanna know something? I eat ice cream every friggin' day. I drink a regular Coke every single day. I put butter on things. But I also walk every day. Some days now, I walk twice. And now I've started to do some push\-ups and lifting stuff. It's building muscle, and in doing so, has created an extra furnace to burn stuff and create energy. Weird! That, in turn, makes me sleep 7\-8 hours a night which is another game\-changer. And all the walking and lifting makes me thirsty, so that makes me drink more water \-\- another huge plus! So, you can see from the photo of me up in the box that something has changed. I have no idea how much weight I've lost and I don't care. I don't care about that or diets or home gym equipment or rules about what I can or cannot eat or anything other than making sure I go on my walk today. That's it. That's the big secret. It costs nothing. I feel great. I can see my feet! There they are! Hello, feet! Wanna go for a walk? The feet say YES! Ask yours right now. And if you want, join me. But do NOT go on that walk with me if you are doing so to "get fit", "be healthy", or "lose weight". You are fine just the way you are. Only walk outside with me right now because you know it might just feel good, because it's a beautiful day, or someone is joining in with you, the fresh air is invigorating, you have to drive down to the drug store but you realize you can walk there, or simply because it's just nice to be alive for one more day. Walk to walk and nothing else \-\- and the other stuff will take care of itself. I'm heading outside in an hour. Join me. And let me know how it went! 18,068 Anyway, I'm going for a walk on the beach tomorrow. Even though I haven't set my business up in Quickbooks, even though I have a billion things to do. I'm aiming to get 8 hours sleep a night this week (without the "monkey brain" at 3 AM worrying about the proofing of a waffle or whether we have an employee or not) Beth P.

Patti, yes, I guess a leaky heart should be looked into. And loved your approach to the doctor! Way to go! You must be SO proud of your SIL and that whole family! That's doggoned impressive! And thrilled for your son and getting his bride-to-be back here, a little nervous about her getting in without any glitches. Exciting times for you! Does she speak Mandarin?? What part of China is she from? I just did cart seeds inside for the first time last year. It was surprisingly easy with the good help of all our smart friends here. They were even more help advising where and when and what to plant and filling the raised beds. Last year, I had no idea how to tell what I wanted in a tomato or pepper (or anything else--I'm sure you all remember my ignorance); I have learned so much from you all in the past year; and I had to laugh at Rebecca saying that she bet I wouldn't buy seed from (I don't know who it was, some big box company). And it IS true that I've become very uppity about seed companies--but it's all y'all's fault! You know it is. I didn't get started on seed-planting today, Dawn. Maybe tomorrow. We are still staying away from: church, and schools. So maybe I'll get up and begin tending the garden for God. :) I'm a little bit freaked about IT, too. I bet all of you who have only recently started all the seed-growing stuff are feeling about like I am. . . So technically, this is only my second year. But it was so easy last year, I'm not too freaked out. Mostly by the nightmares of potting up, the taking all those flats out every morning, bringing them all back in in the evenings. Too funny. It's like running an orphanage, pet shelter, daycare. Constant attention, right? I'm thrilled that in what is going into my 4th year here, I have SO many perennials, self-seeding annuals, and shrubs going. SO appreciated the additional info on drip irrigation tubing. I'm still on the edge, there. I think I will maybe NOT do it in the flower beds, cept for the cement block raised one, and the raised veggie beds. Maybe soaker hoses, though. I really don't much care about the worry over sprinklers getting leaves wet, when I remember the 20" of rain we got May into July for two years in a row. The saving money part, sure. But I have those oscillating sprinklers, so can narrow down the watering to the immediate bed being watered. That's gotta help some. HJ and Dawn both posted while I was starting on this, so had to change windows to see what they had to say. lol Liked the way you tied Rh into gardening, HJ. Very creative. And now, HJ, and I am very worried about your babies since dogs seem to be about. (Which is one of the two main reasons we won't have them--the other being times we have to go to Wy or Mn.) Amy, I had to google the car accident you mentioned. How very sad. They still haven't released the names. We only go to Wahoo Bay occasionally, because you know my distaste for traveling. It's probably 25-30 miles from our house--as you know, we're north and east of Wagoner by 10 miles; Wahoo is south and east of Wagoner by about 15. We go down there a couple times each summer. Actually, that's where GDW is going to crappie fish--a nice heated dock not too far north of Wahoo. And he is on a mission now. We got his moon jigs, his special bobbers should be showing up Tuesday, and then he just KNOWs he'll be catching all kinds of crappies. That was funny, you mentioning your Mom ears. I have them, too, with the new kitties. Speaking of them. . . . uh oh, I fear they are into their teens, full blown. Jerry's actually the troublemaker; but Tom is the dangerously funny one. They were both obsessed with getting into the pantry, because of the hole in the wall where the water lines are. But mostly because it's a shut door. If a door is shut, that's where they want to go. Garry fixed the door once (previously it shut and stayed shut, but didn't latch.) But didn't fix it good enough apparently. Last night, one of the cats came racing in here with a prize--my brand new fancy dancy fuzzy "feather duster." Score!, he thought, and you could all but see them doing "high 5's" about it. All I could do was laugh. The fuzzy part is a foot long, and then has a wood handle that's another foot long. Hysterical. So I put it back and shut the door. This morning before I was up, GDW got to witness the same thing. But so, he FIXED the door good today. The cats are so ticked off. BUT, now, I fear the cabinets are next, as Tom was interested in seeing in what was one of them when I opened it today. . . and they, of course, do not latch. You could almost see the little light bulbs going off in his head. They've been rowdy today. . . SO rowdy. So funny. They're both also SO affectionate. I plunked Tom down 4 times earlier today when he was being obnoxious and in my face (AFTER I gave him 15 minutes of uninterrupted time), and four times he jumped back instantly. But he also has been in either GDW's lap or mine every time we have sat down today.

UPDATE on swap seeds. I spent the night watching SB and updating my tomato seeds. someone took the whole bags of A-B tomato seeds. Which is fine. I hope they can grow out or spend the love of tomatoes. still holding quite a few . The ground hog and FA have me felling anxious. this is farmers almanac notes. FA says March avg. temp 43. 1 to the 17 th light flurries to rain. 25th to the 31st rain then snow showers April -ave temp. 53. - 1-6 sunny and cool 10 to 12 rainy warm 22nd to 31 few showers mild My avg temp 67 few thunderstorms warm