ladynimue -- I, too, am an older parent! (I had my eldest at 34 so I'm now 38.) I don't know where you are (and I'm not prying -- please don't read it that way) but 'round here, "older" is normal. The other mothers with whom I spend the most time all started in their mid-late thirties / early forties. One of my friends is going through perimenopause and she lets us have a good laugh about having within the past few years finished nursing and now hot flashes! Another just turned 45 and is pregnant. I do not think you'll be odd woman out here, ladynimue. Based on my experiences both in living here plus when we were househunting and the parents we met then, you should fit right in! I also wanted to tell you how phenomenal we are finding the medical community(-ies) to be here. Our "home" hospital in CA was Stanford -- a v. (internationally) well-regarded hospital. Well, they certainly failed my younger (now 20 months) son. He was ill from birth on, and his pediatric team kept brushing us off, blaming my concerns on my PPD. ("You worry too much." "You need to calm down.") We moved out here (to CO) and within a fortnight had his well-baby visit. I started my spiel about his issues when the ped. immediately stopped me, saying "something's clearly not right here." Finally!!! After we got to the root of it, I became crazy-angry, both with the Stanford pediatricians but mostly with myself. (Mother's guilt -- I should've somehow divined what was wrong with him or somehow persevered with others, which I realize now. But at the time, with a two year-old, PPD, an ill newborn and selling our house I felt lucky to feed my older and nurse my younger without crying hysterically.) My younger son is part of the Child Find program (it's federally mandated, locally funded); it helps children with issues (whatever they are) get better. He has physical, occupational and speech therapists who all come to our house every single week. I'd say within two months of that well-baby visit he was enrolled in the Child Find program and progress was underway! (He's now doing great -- not yet caught up, but moving apace and, more importantly, he's healthy!!!) I mention this because good friends of ours back in SF whose son is on the autistic spectrum are on a two year waitlist to see a speech therapist (through the same program, different name there). If we'd had to wait two years goodness only knows where we'd be! (Clearly we'd just do it privately but you get my point.) Also, about three weeks after we moved out here I came down with Shingles (although we didn't know what it was at first), centered in my inner ear. It paralyzed my face and that's what got me to the MD tout de suite. I didn't know an MD, just called the local hospital, explained my symptoms and they responded with "how quickly can you get here?" Within thirty minutes I was seen and within ninety minutes I was having a CAT scan (to rule out stroke or tumor, although they did discover I have Grave's Disease, another thing about which I'd been complaining to my Stanford MDs only to be told "yeah, everybody's tired all the time -- it's called 'motherhood.'"). Later that day they determined it must be Shingles (although I didn't yet have any blisters). Because of it paralyzing my face my eyes were in trouble (Shingles can cause severe and permanent damage to the eyes): the MD's office called the MD's personal opthamologist (I mean the one she goes to see) and had them see me that day as well. I'll tell you, I have never felt so cosseted! (and my MDs office also made an appointment for me with my MDÂs endocrinologist  again, I didnÂt have to worry about "who should I see?") Whenever I recount this story to any locals (meaning folks who live here in CO), to a one they say "I know, I get superlative care here, far exceeding whatever I received where I lived before." My son's progress and the immediate and thorough care I received are merely two examples. I just wanted to tell you another thing we love about CO. If solely for my son's sake I am forever grateful we moved out here. But the truth is, we love all of it! -Brooke

Ceph, Yes that was my daughter. We have heard nothing from him for quite a while now. I still remind her that she needs to be diligent about being watchful. I know that it is quite soon after that situation for her to move out but it all fell into place quickly. I am feeling pretty good about the fact that no one has seen or heard from him but I think I will always have it in my mind and look for him form time to time.

Hi, We are having a similar situation with our 18 1/2 year old Son, except for the pot smoking. He got tired of school back in 2006, and it was fight to get him to go to his classes. He quit and we made him get his GED right away and told him that if he wasn't going to go to college then he would have to get a job. We didn't want him bumming around. Well, he has worked all of 4 months in the last 2 yrs. He is out all night, sleeps all day, and plays around like he's still a carefree kid. He is a very talented musician in a band (not making money yet) and he has alot of potential but NO motivation to get things on his own (work for them). His friends buy him cigarettes & food. His girlfriend drives him everywhere. He doesn't have a car, no license, and he refuses to walk or ride a bike to find work. Says all of his friends parents buy their kids cars, pays for their college, etc. We have dangled numerous carrots in front of him to try to motivate him (what we can afford-since we are poor), including finding him a job where I worked so he could drive with me. It lasted 2 weeks before he didn't like it anymore. We have tried the opposite too, by taking cancelling his cell phone and getting a land line for everyone instead (cheaper), but he always seems to adapt. He see's us work & he see's us share one old car and my Husband rides a bike & bus to work (for the last 3 years). He watches us struggle and he continues to act like he's entitled & selfish. We wouldn't mind him staying if he would grow up, contribute, and not be a mooch. I have been a bit more understanding (because of him being a musician & trying to support him on a creative level) but my Husband has been fed up for over a year. We both are now on the same page & decided to take a stand on it. This is the contract we came up with. We have all signed it. Mabye this will help someone else out. What do you think? I ____________ agree to do the following: 1) Find & Get a paid job (looking doesn't count-must be working by deadline). 2) Be respectful & courteous to others living under this roof. 3) Clean up completely after self & friends. 4) Keep back porch clear of cigarette butts, cups, food, soda cans, etc. 5) Keep own room & house clear of soda cans, cups, food, etc. 6) Follow rules of house. 7) Help without arguing or ignoring when asked to do things around the house, such as cleaning cat box, taking out trash, bringing up trash cans, etc. from time to time. 8) When paychecks start coming, give $25.00 a week to Mom & Dad to put in account to be held until we move or you move out. If you abide by the rules above all the money will be given back to you at that time above. If you do not abide by the rules at certain times then everytime a rule is broken and we have to clean up after you or listen to rudeness or disrespect then portions of the money will be deducted at our discretion. (example 1: you take Moms soda because you drank all of yours-you will be charged and the money will come out of the money saved) (example 2: you decide to make a mess & not clean up after yourself in your room, porch, livingroom, computer area, kitchen, etc. - I will charge a clean-up fee to be taken from the money saved) The amount you save will be up to you and your attitude. __________________________________ If the 8 requirements are met you will be on your way to gaining independence, earning respect, becoming mature, & saving money. __________________________________ On the other hand, if these 8 requirements are not met and kept up with by Saturday Oct 4th, 2008, you must pack your things up and move out. If there is an argument at that time we will move things out to the front yard & change locks if need be. Signed by ________________________ Date ____ Son Signed by ________________________ Date ____ Mom Signed by ________________________ Date ____ Dad

Hi Carson- yes, we oldtimers can't wait to get a peek at your beautiful house. I want to add, knowing what the weather has been like around here as of late, if that doesn't contribute to the sagging energy you've experienced. It is so soggy out here just a little east of you that I ruin every pair of shoes I wear out into the "yard". I vaguely remember that a bright yellow ball is supposed to be in the sky for most of the day in May... but, today we were still under a flash flood warning. Those of us who have been in for awhile know that part of the letdown is fighting through the stuff that got done wrong or that's not perfect- but not worth the hassle to get corrected. And there's going to be a lot of those things. A nick in an otherwise perfect floor. A misplaced coaxial plug. Lighting mistakes like the one we made in a front bedroom. The realization that after all the hard work of supervising your crews and researching your choices, the house still is a work in progress even after you move in- is a little deflating. BUT, we have had moments of pure, unadulterated bliss too. And I fully expect your house to be looking like Biltmore by Christmas:) As we've addressed and continue to address the finishing touches on our house, I remind myself of the question I ask myself each time I feel overwhelmed- How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time:)