My darling husband passed away 15 days ago. We knew each other for 8 years. He was very vibrant and full of life, had a good job house and car. Internally though he was suffering from chronic depression and was addicted to alcohol for many years even before i knew him. It got worse when he lost his mother 3 years ago. He would constantly talk about killing himself, praying that God would take his life. It was like seeing him die everyday. I prayed that he comes out of his depression, went to the psychiatrist to get meds for him, put him in rehab, gave him unconditional love but nothing seemed to work. He stopped eating and would just drink and watch the tv the whole day and night. Any attempt at communication was met with silence. He did not want to talk about anything. He gradually became so weak that he was bed ridden. I would coax him to eat or at least have some soup or juice but it was an uphill task. 3 years and 10 hospitalizations later he is no more. His body and organs were so weak that it could not process any medicines. I just wish that he would be alive today maybe he would have made an effort at living. People tell me that he is free from his worries and depression. I hope he is finally at peace. People say that your love was one sided but i know that he loved me and needed me. He would feel more depressed when i was not around him. I would call him my sunflower. In the end i feel he could not help himself. I miss my darling a lot.

Would it be appropriate or possible to have someone else there to take the picture, to get the look on her face when she realizes what it is, as you'll be busy with the giving? ole joyful

I think by saying that I don't always see eye to eye with my vet it may have caused some confusion. My vet is not the one who would do the surgery. She does do some surgery at her practice, but not this. Also, because Flanagan injured his leg on a Sunday I called a vet referral only hospital. We do have a world famous 24/7 animal hospital here, in Boston. But I had such a horrible experience with them when my Tibby got suddenly sick, and he died in that hospital, I would never bring another pet there. This vet knows how terribly wrong things went for Tibby and she gave me this vet referral hospital in case of an emergency. When DH talked with our vet, he asked if it would be the VR hospital that would need to see Flanagan. She said no... it is a great hospital, but very, very expensive. I do have to say, in all fairness to our vet, she doesn't charge very high prices. A visit is 30 bucks and she charges the same amount for a same day visit. As to the rimadyl? I do have concerns about this. Out dog, Toby was put on this.. I knew the risks but he was really suffering and it was like a miracle drug for him. But, I had to have liver tests done before even putting him on it, and then had to have liver monitoring done. I asked about this when Flanagan and Bridget were neutered and spayed. I mean, I asked here, on this forum. I don't know why there doesn't seem to be any of the precautionary protocols don't seem to apply now? I did a search of this site for LP before I posted... and it was mentioined in a answering post by Meghane... she said to save your money and not spend it on a very expensive MRA. Anyway, there isn't any money for an MRA.. the vet said surgery would probably run between 1,000 and 1,500. That would just about cover what we have in savings. Don't get me wrong, I would do everything I could to save Flanagan or Bridget... we had about 2 hours to get up 2,500 for Tibby before they'd do an emergency surgery. And that 2,500 was an estimated one third of the total price if he had made it off the table. We had no idea where the rest of the money would come from...but we knew it would allow us to make payments. We are in no position to go on a fishing expedition. When Toby was old with many problems we had to insist to this doctor and her staff that everything had to be run by us, first. No surprises.. which on 2 occasions happened and we were shocked at how much we owed. For the visit.. IOW's, we were expected to pay it that day. We did it once and tried to again explain that we can't pay 3 -4 hundred dollars at one time. Anyway, I do appreciate that you've answered me. And the good wishes are great.. but, what I really need is what to expect if we were to get another opinion, and/or what are the other alternatives to surgery? Can this get better? And, yes, Flanagan's knee does keep going out... it is different now, though. It only last seconds before it's right again. But since my first post, I have noticed this bowing of the leg that someone above mentioned. The problem is, I saw his other leg bow at the same time that the injured knee went out. Yesterday. He looked totally confused... and all he was able to do was sit down...the injured one outstretched, and he had that weird pacing look on his face (except, this time he couldn't pace) he stayed down for almost 20 minutes and I could tell he wanted to get up.. he was listening for his daddy's car.. he knew it was time for him to get home. I'm still, somewhat, confused. I did read that continued LP will cause long term damage and we don't want that. Is there something else I should, specifically, ask for that might get him past this without surgery? I did read about the manipulation that someone mentioned above. I don't want to cause him pain and I aslo don't want him to bite me. Don't get me wrong, I've never before worried about him biting or hurting me. But, yesterday the vet caused him terrible, terrible pain...people in the waiting room said they had to leave it was so bad... she had his foot/pad upside down and was pulling it backwards. My DH was frantic... he said it was horrible to watch.. vet then said Flanny needed to be muzzled. At that point he didn't want anything to do with anyone. The vet then made my DH take him out of the office, yes, the office, not just the exam room, for a long walk? When he told me this, I was like WTF? A walk? A LONG walk? He's limping, he's has an injured leg!! Anyway, she said he was too leery at that point to trust any kind of contact, even from my DH, so bring him back after the walk to start fresh? Again, I guess it's a good thing my DH took him instead of me...there would have been angry words, I think. Also, the rimadyl may be helping with his pain but it is not slowing him down. The vet said to keep him quiet and rested, limited movement. I don't know why she didn't give him a pain med that would make him sleepy. When Toby was on the rimadyl it did make him sleepy.. but he was and old dog and had lots of age related problems.. so maybe rimadyl doesn't act like typical (narcotic?) meds? Thanks again and any new thoughts and advice would be, most, appreciated. He's my boy and he's the sweetest dog ever. It is heart breaking to see him like this. Silly

Stay well, Mary Kay. Thank you and your colleagues. I will be hoping for the best to all of you and your many patients. Get someone to help you move patients. And at night, after you get home and shower, perhaps do some slow, gentle supine, knee towards opposite shoulder stretches — slowly, to help stretch out muscles gently. Do NOT injure your back any more. You won’t be able to help and you could have long lasting injury.