Thank you all for your kind thoughts! Our modem on the computer wasn't working on Tuesday night. It started out fine but completely died around 8:00 p.m. I tried rebooting the computer and turning the DSL box off and on. Nothing worked. When I looked at the computer settings, the modem wasn't being recognized so I figured it croaked. I watched TV the rest of the night and sulked. The computer worked just fine for Bob later Tuesday night after I went to bed. On Wednesday, it worked just fine too. I was finally able to look at my Facebook page and saw a post from my brother with a link to the eulogy he wrote for Mary's memorial on Tuesday night! I totally missed her memorial/wake! I was so hurt that no one told me about it. Then I checked my cell phone and called my voicemail. My sister left a message on Monday telling me about the wake. I never saw anything on my cell phone saying I had a message. I am convinced that Mary was haunting me on Tuesday night and made the modem on my computer stop working. I think she was telling me she was a little upset that I didn't make her memorial and wasn't able to say my formal good-bye. I feel so hurt and upset that no one made sure I knew when it was! I check my email and Facebook every day so they could have contacted me that way. I feel so awful that I am embarrassed to go to Mary's daughter's wedding in a couple of weeks. They will think I'm an awful person for missing her memorial. I don't have any of their phone numbers or email addresses. *sigh* As if her death wasn't bad enough. At least I know she cares enough to haunt me.

You've received good advice, you do need to think past the disagreement you were having and realize that you would have most certainly made up. The idea of writing a letter is a good one. My daughter was 13 when she died 2 1/2 years ago and she is survived by a sister 4 years older as well. My other daughter also went through some guilt of feeling like she wasn't the best big sister she could be, but has realized really how much they loved each other and that minor recent disagreements really didn't matter anymore. You won't lose memories of her......but her death is so recent you need to be kind to yourself. Lean into your grief and let yourself cry when you need to, don't rush it and don't minimize your feelings or allow anyone else to either. The holidays coming up will be hard and if you decide to do something, plan ahead but try not to be too elaborate about it and be willing to back out of your plans if you get to those days and you can't handle it. Also, you might want to try something to honor your sister during the holiday season, donate to or volunteer for her favorite cause. Something I've heard of but haven't tried is writing letters to our loved ones, reading them on Christmas Day but leaving them in something like a stocking till the following year. Then you can get them out and read them a year later and see how much you've grown during the year. Angela

Geez, that is so grade-school. No you did nothing wrong. It is only natural you are closer to the the sister that includes you and her brother in her family plans. It's probably better you weren't invited up north, I have a good idea that you would have been probably made to feel out of your element anyway. Good for you for having a nice time with SIL, ignore the rest of them. They need to grow up. ~Cat

Hi everyone. Carol, your run-of-the-mill Neoregelia 'Morado' (Your words not mine) is a very desirable brom and worthy of a place in any collection; I don't have it myself, but I wish I did. When I looked it up one the Bromeliad Cultivar Register I can see it also responds to different growing conditions and the amount of light it's grown under. See: http://registry.bsi.org/?genus=NEOREGELIA&id=5907#5907 When you eventually remove the pups it would be worth experimenting with different light levels by trying them in different areas of your garden (But not full noonday summer sun) I think you will be surprised at the variation in the colours even in your own yard. It was bred from two parents one of which is a species and the other a hybrid (Neo, carolinae x Neo. 'Painted Lady') which will both change a lot in colour depending on the amount of light provided as you can see by the pictures of Neoregelia carolinae below (copied from the internet) which are clearly very different in colour. If you open this link: http://registry.bsi.org/?genus=NEOREGELIA&id=6185#6185 you will also see what the Neo. 'Painted Lady' is capable of and your plant of Neo. 'Morado', like all hybrids would have inherited some of these traits from its parents, so it would be interesting to see how much variation there is. All the best, Nev