Well my Pickering order so far consists of: Jude, Tamora, Isabel Renaissance and Ebb Tide. And since they are all listed as "smaller plants" and the price alreay reduced, I am paying less for these four WITH SHIPPING AND TAXES than I would pay locally. In fact I cannot even FIND these locally except for Ebb Tide. Gotta love it.

Well I got my pacakge today and it was an avacado seedling. Hum....If I didn't figure out who my partner was from being a married male I sure know now...he he! An avacado.....I am sure that I will be the only one growing one of those in Wisconsin! My wife told me that it needs to grow up so we can make guacamole! I am sure she is going to have to wait because it is only a foot tall. I also recieved a bunch of herb seeds. I never buy dill but have always wanted to grow it because I love the smell and now I have the seeds. I also found a pillow stuffed with pine needles or rosemary or somthing that smells really good. I don't know what it is for exactly but I think it will make my socks smell good if I put it in my sock drawer! LOL I also see some copper tags in my box. Did I mention that I LOVE copper! I have been looking to by a shut off valve for my sprinkler hose so I can just shut it off at the hose and not at the house. Thank you gardening buddy ........who ever you may be! I will have a lot of fun watching your avacado grow!

I don't know -- I married a man that was never married and had no children and it has been drama free bliss! Just because I was married and had children does not mean that I MUST be a stepmom NOW. I chose not to be a stepmom for this simple reason. If OP was a mom, it would not change the BM in her life. it wouldn't help her to understand either. My ex's new wife is a divorced mom and she is the crazy one. I've heard from my Dd that she is a crazy BM too. I have no idea although I can't imagine her ever being sane anyway. I think your advice is great for a person who enjoys being #1 and wants to be the first wife and the first mom and the first of everything. But that isn't how everyone is. I AM THAT way! I did not want to deal with someone else's kids and someone else's baby momma. That's just me being honest. I dated this guy once that did have kids. He was divorced but his ex lived on the other side of the country. She was never a problem for me. This was when I made my 'no ex or kids' rule. But the guy was always talking trash about the mother of his children. She was a B or she was a Wh09e or she was spending his child support on a new car, this and that. I would get so mad at him. Why? Because I was a mom and these same complaints were being said about me. They could have been in a 'hate my ex' club together. He would go on and on about how he never loved her and that they were young and dumb and she for pregnant on the pill etc. And this was a man that I really really liked. But the more he talked the less I respected him and felt sorry for his ex wife. No one should use the young and dumb or drunk excuse when talking about how they conceived their children. I realized that I had become that ex that men complain about and place blame on AND that I could be her AGAIN with this new guy. Because he could not stop talking trash about her I wondered what he would say about me when we split!! I also just told my husband, do you realize I trapped you into pregnancy? Lol he said WHAT? I said remember how I was on birth control but I had gotten strep throat and received a shot of penicillin? He said ya and your BC didn't work anymore that month Yea I remember. I said 'and do you remember how drunk I was that night?' he said nope cause I don't remember it myself. Lol yes my son was conceived on birth control, on the night of our company christmas party when I was suffering from the worst case of strep EVER!! I hope he tells his second wife what a wh09e I was for trapping him into having our first son. Lol it will be a riot!! Any woman that sits back and listens to that garbage and still respects the man enough to marry him and have more children with him, better hope she never ends up being his ex.

My original message regarding my SD (wet hair & other issues) was prompted by cawfe's comment "And don't give me that line ... well how do I know what your saying is truth... some of the stuff that has happend to me is unbelievable but it happend ... like not feeding her children because she didn't have any clean dishes!!! And I know she had food because I was sending them with care packages so they could eat because she whined so much to them about paying support she couldn't feed them." and I was just stating what happened THIS weekend with my SD's mom. (in agreement with cawfe's statement that it happens) and I believe that there ARE bio mom's that "don't seem to care". It is my OPINION that my SD's mom doesn't put her children first. It is backed up by her actions. (ie. abandoning her children for some guy she just met) I agree with you Kathline, that we can't control what the other parent does. But when the results directly affect me, then I am entitled to MY feelings. My heart aches when I am the one holding and comforting HER child because SHE left. I am the one taking time off from work because SHE didn't take precautions DH suggested and that was my point. She can feed her what she likes (and the ice cream for breakfast was only brought up because she came home that day sick and throwing up from it and missed two days from school), she can let her sleep how she likes (ie. on the floor or where ever she finds room) but when she puts her in a bed with two boys that are 9 & 11, DH had a problem with that. As for the wet hair, I don't know if it made SD get sick, but DH told BM that he was concerned about it and she dismissed it. Then SD comes home sick and missed another day at school. (and I really don't need to hear that missing school is not a big deal, she is struggling with it this year and I miss a day at work when I have to stay home to take care of her, so it does matter to me) I once again got sucked into a feud with TOS because she can't let anyone have an opinion or make a comment without chiming in and I should have just ignored her. I think she likes to stir things up because it's a game to her. and cawfe, I agree with that. But it isn't a contest. We are supposed to be here to share our opinions and points of view. If my opinion doesn't make sense or isn't what someone else would do, it can be disregarded without telling me how horrible a person I am for feeling that way. I listen to other's opinions and sometimes, I see things differently and if my opinion changes, I have been told "well which is it?" as if we can't change our thoughts. I didn't come here out of frustration, but to occasionally vent and share my opinion on being a step parent. I took a cooperative parenting class that helped me tremendously in learning how to deal with my SD's mom. There isn't anything we can do about the things she does that are upsetting to her daughter. We deal with those things on a weekly basis. So, for venting, I used to write blogs but SD's mom would read my blog and blow up at DH because I wrote about how I felt. And I came here because this is supposed to be a forum for step families and then I find it is not a safe place to share either. Since coming here, yes my SD's mom has done things that are frustrating, but nothing compares to the frustration of feeling like I have to defend or explain myself to a old, set in her ways, divorced person that has no idea what if feels like to be a step parent. I agree with plasticgarden, that the negativity rubs off and I was a very happy person that enjoys life to the fullest before coming here, and now I have stooped to bickering with someone, who's opinion means nothing to me. I'm ashamed and apologize to everyone here. Like I said, I came here to meet other step parents that are going through the process of blending two families. I even hoped this place would be a fun place but it isn't. So, I wish everyone here well and hope that your families succeed. My favorite quote "You've gotta love your children, more than you hate each other."