Stacie, I'm so sorry to hear that some things are making you unhappy and stressed, but I do want to say congratulations on your nine months of sobriety! That is something that should help outweigh the bad stuff... :-)

If I were you, I wouldn't waste time making things for folks who clearly don't appreciate them. And since you enjoy doing crafts, why don't you consider donating your crafts to organizations who would love to have more things to give to folks in need? There are plenty of folks, children, adults, senior citizens, who are all alone and don't have anyone to give them gifts. They would love to have something handmade with love and care.

(((Stacie)))

HI Stacie!
I say make some very nice cards and write out your sentiments... like how you really appreciate all they have done for you this past year. and wishing them a safe, healthy wonderful new year. there is no law that say you have to give a gift. Maybe make an easy ornament or book mark. Take care of your self and don't do gifts.
and if they don't understand, then who gives a cr@p?
focus on you and the girls. take out the stress and enjoy them and the season. forget the gifts. really ... the world won't end

Many congratulations on your nine months! That's something to be incredibly proud of and it's so good to know those kiddies of yours have their mama back. I totally agree with lindsey about the gifts--please don't waste your time. If you really must give these people something, how about making a small donation to a charity you like in ALL their names? They surely couldn't complain about that! You don't even need to mention the amount, if you don't want. Just make Christmas fun and meaningful for your children, and don't worry about "feeling it." Some years are just like that, but to the kids it's all terribly exciting. Again, I'm so happy to see you have made good progress!

OOPS!
I forgot to say congratulations!!!! that is AWESOME!!!!

Yes, you can give the crafts to many places, if you still want to do them, then in the cards you give you can tell people that you donated to the charity, nursing home, whatever ... in their name! presto! done deal! great idea!

One day at a time is good and you are doing very good. As to giving crafts to relatives, I feel for you. I tried that and yes got about the same results. Ended up in garage sales, trash or???. Maybe a nice card just wishing them a great New Year and like Kat stated that instead of gifts this year, you have choose to make donations to a local charity. In my area it is the Domestic Women's shelter, Cancer Care Cottage, Farm Rescue, one family who lost a close relative etc. Your family comes first. I wish you the best. You have all my support for a great Christmas.

Monkeymama, I wish you were part of my family. I cherish any handmade gift over any store bought tsotchke. I made cross-stitch embroidered "his" and "her" towels for my in-laws one year. She never put them in her bathroom. I know how you hurt. My husband's brother's wife used to make ornaments every year. The other 2 SILs (DH's two sisters) laughed over her "cheap" gifts. I love the ornaments and proudly hang them on my tree.

Welcome back Stacie and Congratulations! You have come such a long way, and I know it has not been easy.

Please don't stress over presents for folks. Too many people do that and it just takes away from the reason for the season.

I suggest you do as the others have suggested, or maybe shop for an angel or two from an angel tree on behalf of those you would have given gifts to.

Could you or do you usually have them for a meal sometime over the holidays? If not, maybe try that this year, just getting together in your home, instead of stressing over gifts. Just spending time together with family is a lot more important than gifts.

Enjoy those little ones. How many believers do you have? How are all the children? I'll bet they are happy to have their Mom back and feeling a lot better.

I wish you well. Take care of yourself every chance you get and just don't let anyone or anything stress you out. I imagine you were taught that in the past nine months.

It's so good to see you posting and knowing you are all right. I have thought about you often.

Sue

So here's the thing - 99% of people do not appreciate your home-made gifts. They don't understand the creativity and labor that goes into them.

Send these people a heartfelt card, and STOP sending them gifts.

You have your own large nuclear family, so concentrate your gift-giving on them. Leave in-laws, cousins, nieces and nephews out of the picture entirely.

I had to come to this decision about 25 years ago - I have 6 siblings, all married with children. I CAN'T send everyone a gift, so I called a halt to it all - everyone was relieved!

Please don't sacrifice your sanity and sobriety stressing over Christmas gifts. Send a letter.

Please take this next in the spirit I intend it - it's not to hurt or denigrate your efforts at all, but you have to know your audience. I have a friend who continually gives me chocolates, even after I have told her I don't really like chocolate, and would prefer she not give me gifts at all.

I will confess - I don't want most hand-crafted gifts. I can't keep the potpourri, because it makes me sneeze. I already make a fabulous bean soup. Cake or cookie mixes in a jar are useless, because my DH is diabetic, and can't eat them, and I don't like sweets. Dried flowers are dust-catchers, and so on.

It's nothing to do with you, Stacie, not at all. Your intentions are well-meant, of course. But this is not the time or place to be spending your time and money.

Bake a few cookies, and send a card. Let the rest GO! You don't need to do it, and it sounds like it's sucking the joy out of the holiday season.

Hi Stacie,

You've given yourself a great gift this year - those nine long months of sobriety.

Congratulations on that - and our best wishes for continued success in that hugely worthwhile, but often daunting task. It must seem like a long, dreary journey, at times - but you know how much it's worth it to be in full charge of your life again.

Some people appreciate a gift that was put together with hours of loving concern by their friends, but to others they just look at the surface value of the thing, and find that it doesn't fit into their lifestyle, so don't use it, or dispose of it, as they would any other things that didn't fit into their patterns of living.

We all have different perspectives on life.

(((((Stacie and family))))).

ole joyful

I have to also add my congratulations for your victory, I know this year has been a big one for you.

As for the gifts, if it's an exchange and you must give them something, do something generic such as a Starbucks gift car or whatever. I think the set amount donation to charity is a good idea also, you could write something clever to announce it and put that in each card.

The good thing is , regarding your loved ones letting you know they don't like your handcrafted gifts, now you have clarity and won't waste your time .
Think of it as a positive thing from this day on. Resentment is a waste of time, it doesn't accomplish anything.

#1 and most important CONGRATULATIONS
#2 in your sobriety isn't there a saying about changing what you can, accepting what you can't and knowing the difference? You can't change your relatives. They don't care about the love you put into their gifts. SO, accept that, and now that you realize it, I agree with the posters that you should focus on you and your immediate family this Christmas. Write a letter to them in a card and give that. If they don't like it, so what...they wouldn't have liked the gift either so what are you out..nothing (literally..you're not out the money you would have spent nor the time you would have put into the gift..nor the stress a win win for you). Some people are not worthy of hand crafted items, they don't understand the love and time put into them. It's hard to understand, I know, but accept it and then move on, you'll thank your self later.

and again, and most importantly CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Vickey-MN

Stacey, I want to join the others in sending congratulations to you for this huge step you've taken.

Stacie, this is a brand new day and you're allowed to do whatever you want with it. Focus on your family and think of a new or different tradition you could start that would be fun and bring you peace. Maybe picking out the tree with your kids, baking cookies with them, or going for a drive to see the lights.
I agree with maryc. We called a stop to gifts to the whole family years ago. It was just too much and yes everyone was relieved.
Don't forget the reason for the season. It's not to make yourself crazy over unappreciative family members.lol
Hug your kids. Enjoy!

Thanks everyone for the congrats on sobriety and the comments and help. It is easy to be sucked into the poor me mentality when your plate is full and worries are around. I know what I want to do is confront the people, but I know that won't do any good and they have the right to their opinion. I can make for others who will enjoy and give a generic gift to those who don't. Will be making homemade hot cocoa this weekend, cookies, banana bread, and by gosh I am going to do some crafting. That is one thing I have missed and want to get back into.

Stacie

Stacie..I join the many here at the KT to congratulate you on your sobriety...that would be a gift for any family to treasure.
Keep your focus on positive thoughts and throw aside the negative ones.
You are giving your family the best Christmas present ever..

june

Bless you on your sobriety, Stacie. I agree with joyful that it is the greatest gift you have given yourself and those you love.

I, too, would like to congratulate you!

One thing you can do with your crafting is to volunteer to give a craft class...people love this...the nursing home, schools, Sunday school, etc. Did you see the post where I told about the origami Christmas wreath? It is so much fun to make and my kids loved making them...I finally just ran out of paper :o)