Set the Scene for a Stress-Free Holiday Visit
Put your guests at ease and take the pressure off hosting by prepping your space with psychology in mind
Sally Augustin
November 7, 2013
Houzz contributor and owner of Design With Science, which works with individuals and organizations designing spaces and objects to make sure their design decisions are informed by the latest research in design/environmental psychology and related fields.
Houzz contributor and owner of Design With Science, which works with individuals... More
The holiday season is approaching, and your house is likely to swell with guests. While all that shared eggnog may lead to many happy memories, having guests (or being one) isn't necessarily an entirely blissful experience. In environmental psychology speak, when one person or group needs to share territory with another, tensions may build.
Our home base is where we decompress and get ready to face the world again. When others come to spend the night, our ability to relax and consider daily events is compromised. And when we stay in someone else's house, we crave alone time, when we don't always need to be a pleasant companion.
But no worries. Here's how you can design a space that keeps guests and the host equally happy.
Our home base is where we decompress and get ready to face the world again. When others come to spend the night, our ability to relax and consider daily events is compromised. And when we stay in someone else's house, we crave alone time, when we don't always need to be a pleasant companion.
But no worries. Here's how you can design a space that keeps guests and the host equally happy.
Create a space that belongs to your guests. Sharing isn't easy on hosts or their guests. Hosts have to make compromises. Guests can feel adrift and out-of-sorts because they don't have a place that they feel belongs to them.
Both guests and hosts do the same thing when they have privacy: They make sense of recent events in their lives and turn their running speed down to idle. They rebuild the energy they need to return and socialize another day. If you can provide your guests with a separate room, they'll be more refreshed, and everyone will get along better.
Also, many people today work a little during the holidays. If your guests don't feel like they have a space without distraction to get a little email correspondence done, they might become stressed.
Both guests and hosts do the same thing when they have privacy: They make sense of recent events in their lives and turn their running speed down to idle. They rebuild the energy they need to return and socialize another day. If you can provide your guests with a separate room, they'll be more refreshed, and everyone will get along better.
Also, many people today work a little during the holidays. If your guests don't feel like they have a space without distraction to get a little email correspondence done, they might become stressed.
Provide visual and acoustic privacy. Guests relish having time away from seeing and hearing others, even if they need to sleep in your home office to get it. We're social animals. If we see or hear others, we can't ignore them mentally. The potential for someone to come into our view or within earshot puts our brains on constant alert, which stresses us, whether we know it's happening or not. Try to put guests in the most remote part of the house, so they feel like they have a comforting sanctuary.
Make it restful, physically and visually. Make the guest room a relaxing place to be. Use colors that aren't very saturated but are relatively bright. Curved shapes are also relaxing. Two beds in a room make it possible for individuals who aren't a couple to share a space.
Consider their tastes, too. Maybe the interior decor of your home is ultrachic, extremely rustic or eclectic. Odds are, some of your guests don't share your design tastes. If you have a dedicated guest room, consider decorating it in a style a little more mainstream for your guests. Sameness is comforting. Even if dust ruffles make your toes curl, consider them for the space where your mom (the queen of dust ruffles) often sleeps.
Make a retreat with options. Ideally the space for your guests should be arranged so they can do more than just sleep. This will allow both you and them to gracefully spend a little time apart. It's nice to include a comfortable chair where they can sit and read, use a phone to call home, work on a laptop or watch TV. A bed that becomes a sofa would allow them to entertain others in their room, too, making it feel more personal.
For the ultimate guest suite, a coffee bar and refrigerator let guests wake up on their own schedule and snack as they desire.
Let guests control their space as much as possible. We all feel a little calmer when we can control our environment. In this space guests can open the windows and turn on a fan to regulate temperature and ventilation. Providing adequate lighting options, temperature control and bedding options will put your guests at ease.
Personalize the guest's sleeping space, even if it's in the living room. Sometimes it's just not possible to create a separate room in your home for guests. When guests sleep in the living room, where they can feel exposed, be sure to make it their territory as much as possible. Provide a place where they can put an alarm clock, glass of water etc. near the bed. Also, give them control over lighting, so they can read in bed. And make sure they know how to work your TV and media systems.
Add screens. Make it easier for your guests to have a little privacy by putting up screens around their sleeping space. The more they feel secure, the more relaxed they will be — and the happier and friendlier they will ultimately be.
Provide out-of-sight storage. When people sleep in a living room, working around their things when everyone is in the space can get tiresome. The host stresses out seeing all the mess, and guests stress out from causing all that stress. Out-of-sight storage for guests' belongings can help.
Do you give your guest room a special touch for the holidays? Tell us about it below!
Next: More ways to be a great host
Do you give your guest room a special touch for the holidays? Tell us about it below!
Next: More ways to be a great host
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Another thing that might be nice to have bedside is a new package of earplugs, just in case.
Wow, I was SO gratified to read "If we see or hear others, we can't ignore them mentally. The potential for someone to come into our view or within earshot puts our brains on constant alert, which stresses us, whether we know it's happening or not." I'd noticed the truth of this for myself in a dramatic way - I'd camped in the desert, then early next morning climbed up a ridge to a viewpoint. I was at least a half mile away from a photograpy group that showed up way down below; could barely hear voices, and they were unaware of my presence. Also, I could tell what they were doing and was of course totally comfortable with it. And yet, my visceral reaction just to have someone in my field of awareness was astonishing - I thought "gosh, am I a total misanthrope?" But this explains it - it's just an instinctive reaction! Which a lot of people, I'm sure, wouldn't even notice in themselves. But I'll betcha it still happens to them!