She can go to the District attorney in her county or social services.

There are free sites, but most of those may have somewhat dated info and may not be up to date. If she knows what phone area code (city) he is in, I would try calling the operator and asking for his number and sometimes they will even give out addresses too. You will probably get the most up to date quick free info from them if he is listed. I think the info number is (area code) 555-1212 (although I could be wrong; your local operator will give you specifics if you call them) plus, someone else here may be able to provide you with a toll free information number.

If he is unlisted and moved a while ago, and if you know the city.. Try the city's main web site. There may be a real estate info section. Once there, you may be able to put in a person's name and their address will pop up. Of course, this info is often updated only periodically so he would have had to have moved a while ago and have bought a house (not renting) to be in the real estate system.

Below is another site that may help...some sections may link you to paid sites though but hopefully you could find some info free... Again, though, some info may be very dated (places he lived last year, or 5 years ago, etc).

If she's trying to collect child support payment, though, I would still think a lawyer would be the best option... They have more tools, more info and more ways to find out stuff. Plus, I'm not sure what help having his personal info is without their services; she'll probably still have to use lawyers to help her collect.

Here is a link that might be useful: Ultimate White Pages

Actually, I didn't see mariend's post until after I posted.. but starting with her own government agencies/services may be the best and cheapest route for her. I'm sure they deal with this kind of stuff all the time.

No wonder she is depressed.
She has already done the DA, Social Services,
and as many attorneys as she has been able to afford.
They may have the resourses but have not been of
one iota of help.
I hate to think this is hopeless.

If she is to receive court ordered child support, I don't understand why the DA doesn't help. She shouldn't need an attorney at this point. Am I missing something?

The ex disappears from sight and then when found disappears again.
There may be no solution when a person is determined
not to pay.
Right now my friend knows the stae he is in only...
so she doesn't have a city or address.
The ex's parents know where he is, but they aren't going to tell.

I hate to say this, but for her own sanity, she needs to think about herself and the kids right now, and forget this. She can pursue it further when she's more together.

I had no child support with my older son for 6 years. It was tough, and a couple of times, I had to live with roommates, or my parents. I had to let my mom keep him when I could no longer afford childcare. I was blessed to have my parents closeby willing to help me.

When I finally did get him to court and get child support, he paid it sporadically. I just let it go, because I was giving most of that to my parents for doing all they did to me, and whenever I got it, it just went to them.

There were times I had to work two jobs. It was a very difficult time in my life, and I too was very depressed, and had to go on anti-depressants.

I think I would drop the kids off at his parents...Tell them, since THEIR SON will not pay for child support, then their the next best thing...I hope the kids make their life a living HE** for a couple of days and I'll bet they'll come running to her with an address!!

I have no advice, just wanted to say I'm sorry about your friend. Trying to get attorneys to help will bankrupt a person faster than anything else.

I am sure there's a special place in hell for men who abandon their children.

Rose