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The Kitchen Table

Thank you cards

17 years ago

Within a couple days of Christmas I sit and write thank you's to everyone that gave us a gift. I am the ONLY one in my family that does this. I have yet to receive a phone, email, note or anything from anyone. I realize Christmas wasn't even a week ago but we never get thank you's.

I brought this up today at work and my coworkers said they never send thank you's they call or will drop an email.

I guess I am just old fashioned. Does anyone else send thank you cards?

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Comments (6)

socks
17 years ago
Depends on the circumstances. If I open the present in front of the gifter, I just thank them then. If gifts are mailed or if the gifter is not present, then I write a note or make a phone call.

I made my kids write lots of thank you notes. They still do it today.

You have very nice manners, rare enough these days.
lydia1959
17 years ago
I can copy exactly what Socks wrote.

I'm a big stickler for thank-you notes too. I hate sending gifts for a wedding, baby shower, etc. and then never hearing a thank you in any form.
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Thank you notes do seem to be going 'out of style', along with a lot of other every day good manners. It's a shame, and another sign of just how far our society has fallen. Good manners, along with appreciation and a whole host of other things, seems to have pretty much fallen by the wayside, to make room for the ‘I’ll do or not do as I please, who cares what you think’ mentality. Sending a thank you card, or acknowledging a gift in other ways, verbal, email, text, etc., is just plain basic good manners, not an attached string. Personally, if I send someone a gift and don’t receive any form of acknowledgment of its receipt, that particular ‘someone’ is not very likely to ever receive another gift from me. If they don’t care enough about it to at least let me know they got it, why should I bother to send anything else? Small children are an exception to this, of course. I taught all my boys to be sure and acknowledge any gift received, even those they didn’t like or had no use for. Just a sentence or two along the lines of “Thank you very much for the ______ you sent. Your thoughtfulness (kindness, etc. whatever is applicable) is very much appreciated.” Rusty
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I used to think a written thank you note was the right thing to do. I still think it's the right thing, but in this day, I've adjusted to think that while written ( like with US Mail) is preferred, I also know the mail has "issues". Lots of them. So I'm good when I receive an email, a text, or even a verbal thank you. I do think a thank you in some form is the right thing, and not asking too much. I was rasied that way and I raised my kids to do the same. The grands are too young, but are aware that when they receive anything, they say thank you. This just reminded me that we went to a wedding in late January and have not gotten any acknowledgement. Yes, the check was cashed. I may just ask when we see the parents of the bride ( we really have no contact with the bride) if they got our check. I like Bookwoman's suggestion or any of those inquiring if the gift was received.
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sue36
17 years ago
I don't know anyone that sends thank you notes anymore when the gift giving is mutual. Meaning, at Christmas I give a gift to my sister and she gives me one. We don't send thank you notes. Now, a shower, wedding or birthday party, those are one-way gifts and I would send a thank you note. But I don't receive Christmas gifts by mail anymore. Back when I would receive gifts from my grandmother and some other relatives who lived far away, I would send notes even though I sent them gifts as well.
stephmc72
17 years ago
I send out thank you cards from Grant for the gifts he receives at any time during the year, including Christmas. I always have them in the mail within a couple days of receiving the gift.

I didnt used to send out thank you cards for Christmas gifts, but I always have for birthdays or any other occasions, but the last 2 years, we've done a name drawing and only receive one gift from one person in the family so I have sent a thank you to that person the last 2 years.

It doesn't really bother me that not everyone sends them for all occasions, but to me, it's important that I do. I do think that for bridal shower, baby shower or wedding gifts, it is a nice gesture to send one though and that people should make an effort to do so.
hounds_x_two
17 years ago
Put me in the "Old Fashioned" category, too!
I do write thank-you notes...Christmas, birthday, food when I was sick, whatever. Finishing my notes is something else I will be doing on NYE...in my jammies, while sipping bubbly.

While we're on an etiquette binge, what about RSVP"ing" and following up with a note or a phone call after a dinner or a party?

I had a Christmas Open House. The Mix-of-Manners was interesting. Some declined, many came, several brought hostess gifts, and some, I never heard from! I had a few follow-up phone calls, a couple of thank-you-wow-party emails, and a couple of thank-you notes. I was taught to always follow-up with a note or at least, a phone call.

O.K., I'm kinda, sorta old. However, it seems that the general trend is moving away from traditional manners. I am sorry to see that happen.

I taught my sons how to set a table, how/when to use the correct fork, how to open doors, pull out chairs and write nice notes.

I know they have the skills...I hope they apply them. I know they do "some of the things" I taught them, but I am afraid some traditions are fading.
marlingardener
17 years ago
Oh, yes, thank you cards are a given. All of our family is out of town, so I send thank you notes for Christmas and birthday gifts. If someone local does something nice for us (and that is frequent) I send a note.
How long does it take? And how much is a gracious thank you appreciated? You'll never know if you don't send a note saying that the gift/favor was received and appreciated.

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