Thank you cards

15 years ago

Within a couple days of Christmas I sit and write thank you's to everyone that gave us a gift. I am the ONLY one in my family that does this. I have yet to receive a phone, email, note or anything from anyone. I realize Christmas wasn't even a week ago but we never get thank you's.

I brought this up today at work and my coworkers said they never send thank you's they call or will drop an email.

I guess I am just old fashioned. Does anyone else send thank you cards?

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Comments (6)

socks
15 years ago
Depends on the circumstances. If I open the present in front of the gifter, I just thank them then. If gifts are mailed or if the gifter is not present, then I write a note or make a phone call.

I made my kids write lots of thank you notes. They still do it today.

You have very nice manners, rare enough these days.
lydia1959
15 years ago
I can copy exactly what Socks wrote.

I'm a big stickler for thank-you notes too. I hate sending gifts for a wedding, baby shower, etc. and then never hearing a thank you in any form.
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bail0081, we paid for 1/4 of the costs because 1) that was a huge chunk of $ for us; 2) she also has a mom & stepfather who I'm assuming paid for some of it; 3) we know her in-laws paid for some of it and 4) her husband is 33 years old, they have been living together for 6+ years both working lucrative jobs so the expectation was of course that they would pay for some of their costs. The son-in-law is very responsible and expected nothing from any of the parents and was very grateful for the costs we picked up. As colleen noted, times have changed, and for my own daughter, she and her husband paid for their entire wedding. If someone isn't happy with a parent picking up $5K of their wedding costs well they can get what I got for both of my weddings - nothing. We had modest weddings, paid for everything ourselves and had no hard feelings toward our parents. Since my original post, we have cut back a lot on gift giving, etc. when it comes to her because it isn't appreciated or even recognized. You are right southernsummer, I do feel a lot better now, no more frustration wondering if the gift was good enough, was it the right gift, was it not enough?? It's ridiculous, people should be appreciative no matter. We did send a really nice gift basket during the holidays, which i had custom made based on what they like. In return my husband got a text message, "got the basket, thx". Again, no enthusiasm, no thx to me, I guess she expects a new car. As for thank you notes, I don't even expect actual paper thank you notes at this point, but a verbal thank you when she got the gift or at the reception would have been nice.
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Sounds like it came from him, not "the company". Sending a thank you to the company (who may not know the gift was given) will justify his expense account item, should it otherwise be questioned. No jeopardy for you either way but as you say, it strikes me too as an odd and possibly even insincere gesture. If this guy treats your husband as you describe, I wouldn't put too much thought into the etiquette because a thoughtful gesture isn't what he did but rather it was just another occasion for butter, as you describe it.
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Thank you notes do seem to be going 'out of style', along with a lot of other every day good manners. It's a shame, and another sign of just how far our society has fallen. Good manners, along with appreciation and a whole host of other things, seems to have pretty much fallen by the wayside, to make room for the ‘I’ll do or not do as I please, who cares what you think’ mentality. Sending a thank you card, or acknowledging a gift in other ways, verbal, email, text, etc., is just plain basic good manners, not an attached string. Personally, if I send someone a gift and don’t receive any form of acknowledgment of its receipt, that particular ‘someone’ is not very likely to ever receive another gift from me. If they don’t care enough about it to at least let me know they got it, why should I bother to send anything else? Small children are an exception to this, of course. I taught all my boys to be sure and acknowledge any gift received, even those they didn’t like or had no use for. Just a sentence or two along the lines of “Thank you very much for the ______ you sent. Your thoughtfulness (kindness, etc. whatever is applicable) is very much appreciated.” Rusty
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sue36
15 years ago
I don't know anyone that sends thank you notes anymore when the gift giving is mutual. Meaning, at Christmas I give a gift to my sister and she gives me one. We don't send thank you notes. Now, a shower, wedding or birthday party, those are one-way gifts and I would send a thank you note. But I don't receive Christmas gifts by mail anymore. Back when I would receive gifts from my grandmother and some other relatives who lived far away, I would send notes even though I sent them gifts as well.
stephmc72
15 years ago
I send out thank you cards from Grant for the gifts he receives at any time during the year, including Christmas. I always have them in the mail within a couple days of receiving the gift.

I didnt used to send out thank you cards for Christmas gifts, but I always have for birthdays or any other occasions, but the last 2 years, we've done a name drawing and only receive one gift from one person in the family so I have sent a thank you to that person the last 2 years.

It doesn't really bother me that not everyone sends them for all occasions, but to me, it's important that I do. I do think that for bridal shower, baby shower or wedding gifts, it is a nice gesture to send one though and that people should make an effort to do so.
hounds_x_two
15 years ago
Put me in the "Old Fashioned" category, too!
I do write thank-you notes...Christmas, birthday, food when I was sick, whatever. Finishing my notes is something else I will be doing on NYE...in my jammies, while sipping bubbly.

While we're on an etiquette binge, what about RSVP"ing" and following up with a note or a phone call after a dinner or a party?

I had a Christmas Open House. The Mix-of-Manners was interesting. Some declined, many came, several brought hostess gifts, and some, I never heard from! I had a few follow-up phone calls, a couple of thank-you-wow-party emails, and a couple of thank-you notes. I was taught to always follow-up with a note or at least, a phone call.

O.K., I'm kinda, sorta old. However, it seems that the general trend is moving away from traditional manners. I am sorry to see that happen.

I taught my sons how to set a table, how/when to use the correct fork, how to open doors, pull out chairs and write nice notes.

I know they have the skills...I hope they apply them. I know they do "some of the things" I taught them, but I am afraid some traditions are fading.
marlingardener
15 years ago
Oh, yes, thank you cards are a given. All of our family is out of town, so I send thank you notes for Christmas and birthday gifts. If someone local does something nice for us (and that is frequent) I send a note.
How long does it take? And how much is a gracious thank you appreciated? You'll never know if you don't send a note saying that the gift/favor was received and appreciated.

Thank you cards

Comments (6)

socks

lydia1959

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