Oh she is so beautiful! So now I am watching eagles, Canadas and Blue Herons! This is what my daughter posted on my FB link this morning: "Oh my lord. Another spring play-by-play of mothers little geese friends.....;p. Xoxo " Here is my reply: "You are gonna miss me when I'm gone! Lol! Brought to you by the Bird Whisperer! XXXXOOOO". It's cool and windy today and expecting rain. I can't think of a better way to spend such an afternoon! :) Ginny

Agree with Trish, I've got one like that right now and my firstborn was the same. Once they can sit up and crawl, they're much happier. But now junior has graduated to pulling up and is getting frustrated when he can't cruise! ROFL! Oh well! It's a phase, he's not spoiled. He's normal. And yes, your house looks like the aftermath of Hiroshima(like mine), it's frustrating at times, but that won't last forever. Take a deep breath and remind yourself how quickly this time passes. Enlist your dd's help in playing with him. Change rooms and toys frequently. Start dragging safe items out of drawers in your kitchen (utensils, Tupperware, etc.) and make a messy pile on the floor and let him have at it while you load the dishwasher. Or do the same with him sitting in the highchair, TALK with him while you do things.. Have him sit IN the laundry basket with the laundry while you fold. Give him a gentle ride every couple of minutes. Learn how to SLOWLY do things with him. You are now facing one of the unknown to working women challenges of this age. How to get something, anything done while they're awake (Btw, I"ve been a WM too...). Some days it will work, and some days it just doesn't and 'baby' is the only thing that you do. These days, I've got far more of the latter than the former. Dont let this get to you. Get a baby sling. You can walk items back and forth putting them away with him in the sling and one arm holding him. Yes, it's much slower, but it will entertain him somewhat and some things will get put away. Slings are also great for your back as opposed to carrying Mr Two Tons of Fun inyour arms. It's less exhausting. If he sits up well, get one of those backpack carriers. You can even vaccum with those puppies... Enlist help. Give a high school student a job by having them come over for an hour or two, twice a week to play with the baby while you bang out chores. Have a friend come over to do the same once a week (trade off if she has a baby too). Do the same thing with DH. I always give him baby duty after dinner (they play and then take a bath) and I run around trying to do all of the things that I couldn't get done during the day. I also send him to the video store sometimes with the four year old AND the baby, another little break. Get some sing a long videos..Sing along! Teletubbies too... Stick him in the sling and dance together to YOUR favorite music. Take him for a walk in the neighborhood. TALK. Talk about everything that you're doing and why. Raspberries on teh belly. Let him roam naked a bit (they love that). This Little Piggy...Play in the bathtub and watch the tornado go down the drain. Splash..Play Kiss the Baby if you have a fulllength mirro. Hold him standing near the mirror and make faces..then say "kiss the baby", while you "kiss the Mommy" (can kill 20 minutes that way, easy!). Hang out in the five year old's room. Different scenery. Let him play with any of her toys that are safe. Get more active baby toys. Fisher Price has a "whirlin twirlin garden" that I got ds for Christmas. It's loud and annoying but they love it if they can sit up well. They lunged for the spinning wheels, the stackable blocks and knowck the blocks over..You stack, he knocks. Repeat. Get some stacking blocks that are soft and colorful. Do the same. Make crashing sounds! :) Make a basket of baby toys or strange household items, sit it next to him and let him pull out a toy at a time. OR let him dump them. Pt them back, let him dump them again. Read very simple books. Good Night Moon...Hello Baby. Talk about the pictures and how anything is like him. Pull out your camera and take pictures. Take videos... Play on YOUR bed. Peekaboo with a cloth diaper. Take a ride in the car and get the heck out of the house. Go mall-walking. This is a very good shopping age (but not a good driving age, stay near home). "Zoom" with the stroller. Put him in the high chair and give him kitchen things to play with...you do dishes. Give him a popsicle without a stick. BATH TIME after! LOL! Give him pots and pans and metal utensils to bang with... It's all about being creative. Kid is bored. You're frustrated. If you feed your need, kid gets frustrated. You're bored...Remind yourself that this time is fleeting. By his first birthday, he won't want you to pick him up at all, he'll be too busy! You're going to be busy then too, keeping him safe! Btw, this isn't about having 'coping skills'. He's too cognitively immature to have coping skills. There is nothing wrong with him. This is about his developmental age and his personality (more of the former than the latter). Dont be quick to label him. He's a smart cookie. He knows what he wants and babies at this age want MOMMA. I know it's hard to be the only answer at this point, but again, this time is fleeting. Even if he turns out to be an intense kid, he won't always need you to entertain him. Enjoy him now while he still wants to hang with you! And don't forget to get help to have small breaks. Even an hour to yourself can be bliss and gas up your tank.

I haven't read all of these messages. But I have to tell you that I grew up in a home where my step father treated us like DIRT! Kids were to be seen and not heard! That was his favorite line! At 16 I was ready to move out on my own. Life was horrible. I got NOTHING- yelled at, told I was lazy- you name it. I had to buy my own school clothes my own everything. He controlled the whole household. I never got a kind word spoken to me, never a praise, never a pat on the back. No help for college. NOTHING.... He had his own two kids, to this day he still supports them. They are both lossers. But those two kids got anything they every wanted. I didn't want much REALLY As hoaky as it sounds, I just wanted a dad! Someone I could call dad again- not Phil. I was about 12- had lost my dad two years previous. I missed my dad- I missed my family- we moved out of state. It was a sad childhood. My mom was the calming force. She kept the peace. But it wasn't enough. The constant stress from the day to day living with this man. I stayed out of the house as much as possible. I had a horse. I rode for hours. When that wasn't enough I found a boyfriend. At a very young age I became more 'involved' with my boyfriend then I should have. I worked, anything not to be home. I HATED it! As an adult I would wait for the man I was dating to turn into Phil. See, he wasn't always like he was when my mom married him. He was actually one of the nicest men I had ever met. Until the vows were exchanged. We weren't bad kids. We accepted him. He never could or would for us. I can't stress enough what your doing to your daughter. SHE WILL NEVER forget this. You are destroying her piece by piece. My advice is to leave this man. You will get over the loss- she just might never get over what he is doing to her! I know this man your married! Not in the literal sense, but I LIVED THIS...... I still think about my 'lost' childhood from time to time. But you know what, I BEAT him.... I'm succesfull! I'm happily married with two kids. I have a wonderfull relationship with my mom and brother. And my husband is NOTHING LIKE HIM! My mom left him about 6 years ago. Sad it took that long. My brother who was younger then me, lived with him from a small boy up. I see the horrible traits of Phil in my brother. My brother grew up thinking he was dumb. He drifted from job to job. NEVER a harder worker, but he had trouble reading and writing. So he'd drop the job as soon as more responsiblity was sent his way. It was sad.... He's just recently regained some of his self esteem. He's 29 years old! Took him all this time. He's found his place in life. So have I! Guess what! I can even eat food in my living room LOL.... So can my kids.. I'm sorry if this is harsh and I'm sorry it most likely didn't make sense. If it helps your 16 year old daughter then I'll sleep better at night.... HUGS to you and your daughter. Kristi

Demon Based on what you've said here, I think you've made the right decision. It concerns me that his reaction is to blame the child and focus on how it affects 'him'. Classic abuser behavior. I'm even a little concerned that his reaction will change from cooperative to hostile when he realizes that tactic won't work. If I were you, I'd set up a strong support system. I have a feeling you are going to need it. I also agree with silver, it's not a waste of time to learn such a valuable lesson. When I left my ex at 29, I spent years feeling sorry for myself because I wasted my 20's in a crappy situation. But, the worse part wasn't the time I wasted, it was that my kids were in that crappy situation for 7 years and you can thank your lucky stars you figured it out in less than a year. Your daughter is young and you can spend some time in counseling and might even think about working on your parenting skills too. Before, you said you were lax in discipline, so now might be a good time to shift your focus on improving things in your life. When I was a single parent, I was also too lax and inconsistent. It's so easy to parent out of guilt too. My kids were pre-teens when I began to force myself to be consistent and push the guilt to the back of my head and it's been tough. I still struggle with guilt because they know how to make me feel guilty. Good luck.