My dream for my future included 2 children and marriage to a good man - I got 3 wonderful sons from my dream.

My one and only ambition was to graduate and move out of the house. Luckily for me, my parents let me do what I wanted. It took 3 years of scraping by in a secretarial position for me to come home with my tail between my legs and return to school. I was a smart kid, but not motivated. I returned to college and got my nursing degree, moved to Madison Wisconsin and met my DH working at the hospital. Married, had 2 kids, and went to grad school for anesthesia. I now have a great lifestyle and a great job with two grown kids, but I think I owe it all to Mom and Dad who did not pressure me when I wasn't ready. I am forever grateful to them for being so wise.

I wanted to go to college, graduate with a profession, marry and have successful children, and live in a two story house with high ceilings like the one where I grew up. Mission accomplished, but it took a lot of work.

not exactly..first wedding out of hs, only lasted 4 years. now going on 44! lived a very different life from my parents and very happy..

My dream was to marry that special one. Did that and still with him. He helped make all my dreams come true. Had finished college, great profession, two kids, and white picket fence. No, it hasn't all been easy, but lots of hard work during the years. How I remember those first years of little money each week. Still remember when we had saved our first 300.00 dollars. You would have thought it was three million from the pride we had in starting to save money. Dreams do come true.

I was super ambitious in high school. My first goal was to go to a super elite college, and I did accomplish that. I also thought I would have a glamorous corporate career, being super successful and having a great lifestyle. I also wanted to be married in my mid-20's and have a few kids.

Fast forward 12 years and I have the education, and I have a good job that pays well but my priorities are shifting. I really want to start my own business because I dislike the corporate culture. I'm also 30 and not married, though hopefully heading in that direction! In retrospect I am glad I didn't marry earlier as I've had time to build my lifestyle comfortably without the struggles that many people seem to have in the earlier years.

Interesting question! I never really thought about it before.

Isn't it just (an interesting question)?!

I find it hard to recall.

World War II started in late summer of '39, when I was in elementary school in Ontario at age 10 and the hired men on Dad's substantial farm went to war, so I and a couple of younger brothers learned early what hard work was like.

Dad moved to a different part of the country, Saskatchewan on the prairies, when I was over half way through High School, and I don't recall having thought much about what I might choose to do ... quite likely somewhat attuned to carrying on as a farmer, which I'd become used to.

In the first summer on a farm as sharecropper near a small village and not far from Regina, capital city of the province, I attended a school relating to co-operatives for most of a week, then in the autumn we started a youth group in the (mainline, liberal Protestant) church ... and they chose me, the new boy, as president.

Just after Christmas church youth groups held a boys' parliament in the capital city nearby, with us sitting in the legislators' seats while living in a nearby college dorm. I found a different view of Christian life and church there.

During that winter, the snowiest(?) and blowiest(?) that most locals had ever experienced, they reported later ... Dad arranged for a family in a small house in the village for us to share house with them and their teen daughter during the week: I slept on a chesterfield/couch in their living room, that winter.

After a few visits with our minister to discuss what I'd learned in Parliament, and how we might use some of those ideas in the Young Peoples ... he asked me one evening whether I'd ever considered going into the ministry ... that they needed young men like me. I said that I hadn't ... but found the idea so intriguing that, not waiting till the weekend at home, I called Dad to report and saying that I was giving it some thought.

Dad said that he'd never thought of that kind of work for me ... but that there wasn't anything that he'd rather see me do.

The next autumn found me in university in the college of arts, a three year course starting training for ministry, followed by another three years to graduation from seminary and ordination as a clergyperson.

Late in that course, the World Mission Board was looking for people to go overseas, to Africa and Korea. None of my family had been involved as military in either of the World Wars (and Korea hadn't been such a big deal) but I thought that it'd be important to help get the mess cleared up and people back on their feet after the Korean War, and we had a Korean student in med school living in our dorm, so I applied.

When modern war sweeps across most of your country four times in three years ... no one has to explain "trouble" to you: you've learned it, first hand!

And that country, where they love their country, sixty years after the "armistice" ... is still divided ... and there's been no peace treaty.

I've told some Korean immigrants to Canada in recent years that we have an important lesson to learn from the Koreans ... and when they ask what it is, I say that it's how to live next door to big neighbours ... without getting eaten!

Cause they, living next to Japan (who ruled them effectively for 40 years prior to 1945), China (who'd had strong oversight over them for centuries prior to 1895) Russia and Manchuria, had none the less been able to preserve their sense of independence as a national entity, even when being ruled by neighbouring overlords.

ole joyfuelled

I had only ambitions for lifestyle and education. I knew marriage and family would take care of themselves in due course. I was happy just being me and doing things I love. I never did get 5 acres, have horses (I love to ride), and live nextdoor to my sister, but that was silly girlness. I've studied two different course styles, and the one I started in, I work in. The other, I haven't finished the terminal degree for, but maybe later; I love what I do and with whom I do it. Why bother?

After high school, I went to work in a factory type company where I did filing and key punching. After a lay off I did Christmas work at a nice department store selling hosiery. Called back to work after the holidays where I met my husband. Now after 52 years of marriage and 2 sons, 6 grand children and 2 great granddaughters, I would say I've had a wonderful life. Great family. Lived in a suburb with a 3 bedroom house to a small city farm where we had horses, ponies, pigs, couple of sheep and lots of chickens. Then back to same house. Then a move to Texas from Ohio now in our senior years we are in Georgia. Traveled here and there. Stay at home mom. Active in our kids schools, sports, bands. Now assisting our grandchildren as they go off on their own. Did a bit of part time work off and on. Learned to love reading books working in a small book store.
Mary

Even though my life and marriage was ok, because of my mom controlling issues, really did not have any plans of my own-sad to say. I was expected to be a teacher but after 4 years of college and other issues found out the hard way, I am not a leader.
I do enjoy keeping records, and doing treasurer's work, enjoyed the banking field and again issues with women managers. I am glad that all my kids and grandkids are doing as good as they are and we have good relationships. Because I let them do what they wanted and yes there were ups and downs but we are surviving and all support each other and me.

get an education and a decent job so I wouldn't have to be dependent on a man to support me

have a better life than my parents did (they struggled with a lot of difficulties)

not die of the cancer that I had when I was 15 (that I was supposed to succumb to by age 20)

happy to say I accomplished all of the above

I never wanted to get married or have kids, neither were ever on my radar. I wanted to major in sociology and become a social worker. In first year I discovered you needed a masters to become a social worker (not the case now) and as much as I loved sociology I then realized it wasn't going to get me much of a paycheque.

I transferred to commerce and in 1976 graduated with a B.Comm and then the fight for a job began. In 1976 prospective middle-aged male employers were allowed to say to women "If you were my daughter I'd tell you to become a teacher or nurse because that is where you belong" (that one I responded by saying that I was glad I wasn't his daughter - the interview was long over by then), "If you were male and with your background we would hire you", etc.

I finally got a job as a commercial property underwriter because the company was told to hire a female but there were clients who refused to deal with me because of my sex.

I did get married at 30 and had 2 sons at 34 and 36. I gave up the corporate fight at 36 and have been a SAHM ever since. Interesting the paths that we wind up taking.

I love being an at-home mom and in hindsight I wish I had stayed in sociology. I don't know what I would have wound up doing but intellectually I would have been happier. However then I wouldn't have met my husband and been where I am today. Paths taken and not taken.....

joyfulguy - thanks for sharing your story. It was really interesting.

Thank you all for your interesting stories!

I recall that in my high school yearbook, under my photo, it listed my ambition and words I live by. The words I try to live by are the same now as they were then....He who is not actively kind, is cruel. by John Ruskin.

My ambition was: to be happy.

Kind of simplistic, but I am a simple person and I really do believe being happy is something we choose for ourselves, and even though I have had a lot of ups and downs in my life, I can truthfully say that I am very happy.

Anyway, that is what I had posted in my yearbook, but as for my life's work....I hate to say that I didn't give it much thought. I wanted to raise horses. I did that. Wish I hadn't. I never wanted to get married and had no plans to have children. I did get married very early on, mainly because my mother wanted me to. She believed I should get married and believed a man should support me. So I got married and I played, and my husband supported me. I didn't have a baby until I was in my mid 30's and I have no regrets about waiting. I only think it made me (not speaking for anyone but myself, so don't jump on me) a better mother. In some ways, having a baby late, was sort of like having a baby and a grandbaby at the same time. I was more settled and secure in myself. I ended up taking care of my mother, who had dementia, until she died in her 90's and then I took care of an elderly former neighbor and friend for 8 years, until he died. I promised him I would, so he wouldn't have to go in a nursing home. I rehabbed wildlife...mainly because I felt sorry for the orphans, and I am good at raising babies of all kinds. (Despite not wanting children...I am extremely maternal.)

Now I do anything I want to do. I have no grandchildren. My daughter is secure...doesn't need my help. I wanted a mule. I bought a green broke mule. I need to get used to riding again...so I bought a horse. I plan to raise a mule foal. I plan to start riding again and ride every day for the rest of my life...if at all possible.

Gee....I think I forgot the question. I'm sorry. I am happy though.

I had decided @ a young age that I wanted to be a nurse & that goal continued thru HS & was accomplished 3 years post. I worked in my career for 36 years in a variety of positions & have been very happily retired for 10 yrs.

Marriage/children were never a goal, per se, I just expected that it would happen... And it did: 1 husband of 43 years & a 40 yr old son.

Back in1963, I had no idea of what I wanted to do. I had no skills and did not want to end up as a secretary or fie clerk in an office. I wanted to be outside, and travel.
In the early fall, I got a postcard from a school that taught something called keypunching, a short course on how to punch what was then called IBM cards tor inputting data to computers. It was a short course, not expensive, and said that computers were a growing industry.

So, I went, got a job quickly, at an insurance company. I was good, and the company was growing by buying smaller companies new companies...I made my first business trip 2 years later, 2 years later - to Chicago.

I went from keypunch operator to computer operator, and training new people.

I started taking programming courses at a local college, and kept changing to more challenging jobs, and then working for International companies, that included both US and international travel.

So .... I got my dream.

I got my dream

I'll agree with you Marilyn. I'm glad I was a bit older when I had my son. While I watched my sister be a kid right alongside her kids, and she loves it, being older was good for me, personally. My sister and I are both good moms, but in totally different ways. I really do appreciate my son a lot more and love him more deeply, with abandon! than I would've if I'd been younger. For me, I was too selfish when I was younger; it was my big stumbling block until I was 27 or so. I had him when I was 32. I'm glad he gets all the focus he needs and wants.

To each their own, but you're not alone.

:)

I never finished high school, leaving after Grade 10. We lived pretty far away from the high school and the budget didn't allow for my sister and me to live in town or have transportation. However, I knew that I wanted a different life from what I experienced during childhood. I moved to the city at 16 and got a job in a factory and worked there until I was able to take a clerical course, which to my thinking at the time was "higher education" LOL! I married at 21 and my DH and I decided that he would go back to school for additional training. He did this for two years while I worked and supported us. This was a wonderful investment because he got a great job as a result, rewarding us many times over. Our son was born when I was 26 and I worked only part-time. I worked with a young university student during that time and the things she said intrigued me, so I decided I would enroll as a mature student. I loved it, even though in the following years, I left my studies because it didn't seem to be leading me to anything practical. But I found that I couldn't stay away from formal studies so I quit my job and went to university full-time. I graduated with an honors degree and then decided to go to graduate school. The program I wanted (master's degree in library science) wasn't offered in our city, so I lived mostly in another city for 2 years. I was very homesick, but did graduate with my degree. My DH and I had our ups and downs but with much trepidation, he supported me in my goal. Our son was older by then and living on his own. Now I have been married for 45 years, have a wonderful son, daughter-in-law and two granddaughters. I regret that I got my degree later in life and couldn't fully use it, but did work in my field for several years before I retired.

Interesting question, and interesting answers.

As a teen I had a great social life with wonderful friends, but an often difficult relationship with my stepmother and a a wretched experience in school (high IQ, failed everything). I wanted to go to art school (specifically Pratt Institute) and become an artist like my mom. I just about wore out their catalog poring over it, but never got to apply.

My other dream was to get married and have children, and I did better with that. My ideal was to live in Manhattan. I got married and moved into my husband's apartment in midtown. He wanted a weekend place in the country with a boat, so we bought a little house (and boat) in PA. Over the years our weekends got longer, until we began living in the country full time.

After our first child was born, we bought an old farmhouse on 31 acres further out in the country, and I still live there. As a high schooler in Queens, I had no idea I'd someday live on a dirt road in rural Pennsylvania!

When I was young I always worried that I would have trouble getting pregnant. My mom had problems with it, and lost two pregnancies after I was born. Actually, I was married 8 years before I had my first baby. Things went more smoothly after that, and I was blessed with two more.