BTW, having Power of attorney is not a substitute for the HIPAA privacy releases. Because of the vagueness of the HIPAA laws, every single doctor and medical facility can interpret them in different ways. Our estate attorney drew up not only regular power of attorney docs, but also healthcare power of attorney with HIPAA releases that can be used in every situation with any medical facility or personnel. First of all, it sounds like you may need to talk to a geriatrician, if you can find one (a dying breed, unfortunately). You don't necessarily need to replace his doctor, but get some second opinions here if you can. Second, it is sad but true that many people have these kinds of anxieties and will only go into facilities when they are forced to. Is there any chance you can at least get one of those medical alert systems so that your dad can remain independent a bit longer? Talk to your dad's doctor; they often get discounts for patients for some of these systems. Certainly there are bad facilities as well as good ones. You should start investigating what's available now, because good ones have a waiting list. At the very least this helps calm a lot of your own anxiety because you will have a better idea of what to do when the time finally comes. Once you've found some good prospects, see if you can get your dad to visit with you during social hours, so he can see what kind of activities are there and what the people are like. It takes time, so don't expect to change his mind quickly. My MIL lives with us and it's taken us a year to get her to visit a local senior center for a weekly seniors exercise class! Now she's getting comfortable enough with the people that she's considering taking an additional line-dancing class on a second day - for her, that's amazing progress. Certainly there's a basis for your dad's doctor to dislike putting people into facilities - it's been proven people are happier and live longer in their own homes. But your dad seems to be falling into that 'gray area', where he may not be capable of being independent much longer. It's hard for parents to recognize that they are failing and need to be taken care of by their children. It's especially hard for women, because the older generation and much of the medical establishment does not take women as seriously as they do men - that's just fact. I find I have to speak pretty forcefully to my MIL for her to take my word for things, she keeps saying, "Well, I'll ask my son when he comes home." It's just habit and cultural differences, so keep plugging away. Don't fuss or get emotionally upset over it - if you remain calm and logical, people will start to take your concerns seriously. It may not be obvious now that your dad is starting to get confused, but if dementia is indeed happening, there are tests that can help determine how fast the mental deterioration is progressing over time.

jlt37869: The rod I ordered is in ORB; but looks black. I wanted it to coordinate with the black on the task lamps. Glad to hear you like them as I am trying to give the vintage pieces an edginess too it so it doesn't look old-fashioned and frumpy for DS when he is there. fripper/ghostlyvision: Sorry I didn't explain better; RAF=Howard's Restore-A-Finish which I used along with their companion product, Howard's Feed 'n Wax to seal in the restored finish. It's a product that can be used on older furniture where the finish is still intact, but it has some surface scratches, water rings and years of dirt and dust. It cleans and perserves the existing finish and can often be done instead of stripping and refinishing furniture. work_in_progress08: DS was fine with his existing room; though for most part he's more preoccupied these days looking forward to going to college. He did say that the bed is much more comfortable and I think he is happy that I have found a way to display his pottery (or at least the best pieces). There are some of his early attempts from 1st semester that I have boxed up and plan to talk to DS about tossing it or donating it. They seem to have unlimited access to clay and some pieces are BIG! I'm not sure yet what to do about the desk/hutch or when to phase it out; hence why I had been considering if I should gel stain it darker. My younger DD has a kneehole desk and it's great for storage so a similar one should work just fine for summer and laptop use, etc. At some point, I just would box up the trophies, but some of them he won recently up to a few weeks ago; so the time is not yet. Long term though, I feel the artwork has more meaning to have out as it shows his creativity. dlm2000: Thanks for the support for this project. Small spaces are often a challenge to decorate as I've experienced with all my three kid's rooms; but they can still be made to look nice and comfortable. I suppose I should just sell the torchiere on CL at some point as it's more a mission style which I don't have in my house. I have a whole garage full of stuff now I need to sell on CL which I should do next. The headboard is rather low-profile which I knew when I bought it and was one of the things that attracted me to it for when it goes below the window. I even bought a low profile boxspring for this bed, but it still sits up high as the slats start a few inches higher. Bonus is, more room for underbed storage. Which I forgot to add, the more boring part of the room make over is that I added two under bed storage boxes to store both the guest bedding plus his old twin bedding which goes on the aerobed for when he gets displaced from his room. My brother and mom may be visiting this weekend for DS's 18th birthday so I'm anxious to hear what my brother thinks of the new bed as I typically have him sleep in this room and at 6'2" I don't think he found the old twin too comfy.

I agree with kkny that if every day support is not needed as much, mom and dad could decide if that money could be put into college account. ashley, some CPs make very decent money and CS does not make that much difference, hense that money could be put towards future college expenses.

LOL Moonie! I had to read your post a second time to catch your mistake. Sjerin-The stents are permanent.We don't know when he will be going home.They moved him to a private room today and will start PT tomorrow.DDIL told them we weren't bringing him home this time until he was able to walk around and do things for himself! That was what started all this in the first place.He was suppose to be getting up and walking several times a day but was staying in bed or sitting in his recliner all the time.I think he has learned his lesson.I think he realizes how close he came to being dead.If he hadn't had that filter he would be dead! As for me and DH,we are about ready to disappear for a while! Two babies in the "terrible two's" stage on top of everything else is about to get the best of us old people!LOL Hopefully everything will smooth out in a few weeks though and things will get back to normal,whatever that is! I'm seriously contemplating a few days of daycare for the two little monsters so I can get some rest.LOL Not really.They are actually pretty good most of the time but they do have their moments and can be a handful.We will make it though!