Why me????? (longish tale of woe)

16 years ago

Some days it just doesnÂt pay to get out of bed.

I make little tree ornamenets (I call them doo-dads) from embroidery floss, perforated paper, and beads. Little, itty-bitty beads. 15/0Âs give or take a size for those of you who know beads. About the size of the sharpened tip of a pencil lead.

I use a lot of beads. When IÂm working, I have a small dessert dish filled with my "inspiration" selection--a pinch or two of every bead I own in the sizes IÂm working with--probably 600-800 beads. The dish is in an open box about the size and shape of the top of the box a ream of copier paper comes in, along with the floss, needles, patterns, etc. This box sits on top of a trash basket, which I can very conveniently reach from my recliner where I work.

The other night, I was doing something at the computer, which sits at a right angle to my recliner. I got up--and you guessed it, bumped the box.

The box didnÂt just slide off its perch, it launched itself in the air, did a perfect summersault, and dumped its entire contents all over the floor. About 10 minutes before DH was due home from work.

There is only one quick way to salvage beads that have all taken flight to different corners of the globe. I ran in the bedroom and grabbed a knee-high stocking. Ran to my closet for the vacuum cleaner. Stuck the stocking over the business-end of the vacuum hose. Hit the on-switch. Nothing happened. Hit it again. And again. And again. Then I remembered you gotta plug the thing in before it will work.

I grabbed the cord, stuck it in the wall socket. SCHWOOP! It sucked the stocking right down its greedy little throat. I screamed. Ran back to the bedroom for another stocking. Put it over the hose. Held on good and tight. Hit the on-switch and began sucking up beads.

My vacuum has a good, powerful suction. I have to turn it off to make it release the beads. On, suck up beads. Hold over dish. Off, release beads. Repeat. Four or five times. Then I discovered there werenÂt any beads clinging to the stocking. Why?

Because about 300 of them had disappeared through a hole that had opened in the stocking. I screamed again, and you would not want to know what I said.

I managed to salvage about a third of my lost beads. I suppose if I wanted to sort through the stockings, dust-bunnies, dead (I hope) spiders and other critters that reside in the yet-to-be emptied vacuum cleaner bag I could salvage a few more. Maybe a lot more. But I just donÂt think IÂm going to do that.

Jann, who is still finding beads in very peculiar places...

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Comments (14)

pris
16 years ago
ROLF Jann. Thank you for my laugh of the day. I know it's not funny for you but for me a good laugh just makes my day.

(I think I would be rethinking my crafting setup about now)
chisue
16 years ago
I guessed the ending as soon as you mentioned the number of itty-bitty beads, in an open box, on top of a trash basket.

Maybe it's a sign to stop doing this. You're probably ruining your eyes -- to say nothing of the vacuum cleaner. LOL
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notjannaz10
Original Author
16 years ago
...actually, the day after, it was hilarious. At the time, not so much. Note to Patty - remember our cousin Jean Helms--this is exactly the sort of thing that would happen to her and or Mom.

J
lynn_d
16 years ago
Jann, I have to admit picturing the stocking being sucked in was not a surprise, and it made me laugh hysterically. Guess why!!!!! I'm sorry you lost so many beads but you really brightened my day.
FlamingO in AR
16 years ago
OMG, Jann, that is just hysterical, I had to go tell Woody about it, it was so funny! I'm sorry about your disaster, but you wrote that out so well (go figure, you're an AUTHOR) that it was vivid in my imagination.

Thanks for sharing, Jann!

Bwahahahahahaaaaa!
lydia1959
16 years ago
Thanks for sharing!
notjannaz10
Original Author
16 years ago
What was really funny was me trying to figure out what happened to the first stocking. My old vac wouldn't have been able to do that. It was just gone! I had to think back--put on stocking--turn on vac--plug in vac--funny noise--a-ha! (lightbulb goes on)vacuum ate stocking!

I just keep telling myself be thankful nothing worse happened. That danged vac could have eaten all my finished doo-dads!

J
kacram
16 years ago
LOL
may we see a pic of your doo-dads???????????????
jannie
16 years ago
I'd love to see a pic of one of your creations. Sorry about your accident with the neads. Last night DH dropped a glass in the bathroom. So I know about sucking up messes with a vacuum.
wildchild
16 years ago
Thanks for my giggle of the day. Nice to know others have their Lucy and Ethel moments. You are not alone.
notjannaz10
Original Author
16 years ago
I'm afraid I'm a total dud with a camera, never mind getting the image into a computer. But thanks for asking. I had one published in a cross-stitch magazine a few years ago, but darned if I can remember which one, let alone the issue...sigh

J
(oops, I stepped on another one!)
kathi_mdgd
16 years ago
ROFLMAO,i can just picture all that,you made my day,sorry for your loss though!!
Kathi
pattico_gw
16 years ago
LOL...cuz...could we be related....hehe...I've been trying hard to get ready for Christmas party..with Dorothy, her daughters Deb Denise and DeAnn...Rushing, tired I knocked over an ice cream bucket full of nails, small screws, small nails, hundreds of them...all over..I swept some of them up that fell on the kitchen floor...but the ones that flew into the pantry I swept up with a lot of dog dirt and threw away..Did that last night late and should have been in bed.

Cousin Dorothy didn't get to come...she's been really sick.

And I forgot to send her gifts from me with her daughter...but that's okay..one of them wore their snowboots home and forgot their shoes....lol

Ia cuz
socks
16 years ago
Oh dear! I bet every person who uses those beads has a similar tale to tell.

Why me????? (longish tale of woe)

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pris

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Why me????? (longish tale of woe)

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