If it were me I would be truthful and tell him how you feel. Go back together and return them then go looking at others and pick out a pair together. I would feel terrible to have all that money tied up in earrings I would never wear.

I would probably explain the part about the backs falling off and tell him that's a concern and that you're going to see if they have something with a screw back that you can exchange it for. Chances are, if they have any with a screw back, they'll be a better quality and might be more like what you're looking for. If you can't find any, just return them and tell him you'd rather look for a pair elsewhere so you don't have to worry about losing them.

How about gentle honesty. Something like "I really appreciate your remembering that I wanted diamond studs but the backs don't stay on these and I would be devastated if I lost them. Could we please take these back and find a pair with screw-on backs somewhere else?" You don't have to mention the bad diamond at all.

Linda

PS At least he was TRYING to do something special for you. Give him credit for trying.

chubby, I wear my ring all the time, the one I picked out, when I took the one DH bought me back. I did tell him, why I would prefer to exchange, and he was totally ok with that.

Maybe you can take a minor thing, like the screw back to tell him you want to exchange them? After all, screw back would mean you wouldn't lose them!!! :)

Moni

Yeah, CR, what they said. You will both be happier.

Years ago DBF bought me some diamond earrings. They were fairly expensive, and he asked me if they were right, not wanting to have wasted his money if they weren't.

I had to be honest with him, and told him of my concern with push on backs, as opposed to screw on ones. I 'always' loose an earing when I where the push on style. He was more than happy to return them, and give me the cash for some things I had been needing/wanting.

I ended up buying a door and paint for the new shed, along with some other very useful things.

Sue

I do give him credit for trying....really I do.It's just that he'll notice if I don't wear them.I did wear them last night and yep...the back fell off.I found it but if it had happened while we were out,it'd be gone.These are bigger than what I wanted too..they're 1/2 CT I wanted 1/4...so I'm not greedy...LOL! I think I will do as you all suggested and tell him about the backs falling off.It's not a lie anyway....one did fall off in bed last night.I found it on my pillow.
I posted a link to the ones he got....but they sure don't sparkle like the pic...they are so cloudy,almost white.

Here is a link that might be useful: These are the ones he got

Definitely take them back and go get a quality pair. He'll understand you don't want to waste money. Remind him it will be fun to pick them out together. Go to another store, not where he bought them.

I agree about taking them back, especially if the backs are coming off so easily. (My diamond studs have screw-on backs.)

If you're worried about hurting his feelings, take them back yourself when he's not around, and chip in some of your own money if you want nicer ones. If he's like most men, he'll never know the difference.

Something like that happened on our 10th Anniversary. DH bought me a really expensive necklace that I would never wear. He tried and I appreciate that, but it was not my style. I was honest about it and that was 20 years ago.

I returned the necklace and got earrings I would wear a lot more. I still wear them. He wasn't upset or hurt. As he said, he would rather I have something I like and wear then for it to sit in a box forever.

The only down side to all this is he nevers picks out anything for me anymore. He has me pick it out then wraps it. Kind of takes the fun surprise out of it but you can't have it both ways.
Clare

Sorry, NEVER take back jewelry a guy buys you. Wear it, let him see you wear it, make a big fuss over it so he knows you like it.

Take it back, and you'll hurt him to the core. Guys are really funny about jewelry--if they buy it, they always think they got you something very, very special. They get really hurt if you return or exchange it--even with a good practical reason.

If you care about your guy at all, I'd wear the earrings, and let him know how much you appreciate that he went to that kind of trouble and expense for you. It's better to wear some less than perfect jewelry, than to hurt the one you love.

Please tell your DH as gently as you can that the backs came off and that the two of you need to go together to either exchange them or get a refund and shop somewhere else.

He did his best to make you happy, but we have to realize that sometimes men just don't hear the fine print. Bless his heart; he tried.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Sue

Oh, I'd take them back, after telling him what happend with the backs falling off. Besides, if you wanted smaller than a 1/2 ct. you can get a better quality (sparkle) 1/4 ct. and stay in the same range $$ wise. Just make the point of the loss of them without the screw on backs.
Leslie

Take these back and get what you want and don't say anything to him. Go to Walmart and buy cubic zirconia stud diamond earrings, and wear them for him - believe me, no one will know but you! Guys get their pride hurt easily and they DON'T get over it - I've been down this road, so I know!

Together, take them back. Then if you have a Kohl's near you, go there. They have very nice jewelry and right now it's 60% off, plus today (and tomorrow, I think) there's an extra 15% off. For the same money you'll get a lovely pair with backs that don't fall off, and the stones will sparkle nicely. You'll LOVE wearing them!

Went through the same type of thing with my hubby. He's a tool guy, so I likened it to getting him a $1 hammer at Cummins, compared to the $18 hammer at Home Depot. They both do the same job, but the head will fly off the $1 hammer when you least expect it and whap somebody. He UNDERSTOOD!

I called him,he's at work.Told him about the backs coming off.We are taking them back wwhen he gets home.Thanks for the info on Kohl's! There's one near us,I will tell him about it! He's a tool guy too...so he'll understand! LOL!

I knew he'd understand, CR. Woody has bought me jewelry before and just flat out says "if you don't like it, no biggie, we'll exchange it for something you like, you know I'm no good at this." lol And he's RIGHT! I think most guys would be happier knowing that you are happier. And I'm glad you're getting it taken care of ASAP, CR.

Have fun at Kohl's! And if you find a pair that doesn't have the screw-off backs, you can get a jeweler to put them on for you for about another $30 or so. That's what I did when Woody and I picked out new studs for me.

CB, a couple years ago I asked DH for 2 pair of diamond studs, big and bigger. LOL! What? It can't hurt to ask. Anyway, he got me small and smaller, the smaller ones being the same ones he got me the year before. So I asked it he would mind if I took the 2 pair back and exchanged them for 1 larger pair. He said no problem, Honey, whatever makes you happy! I love this guy!

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that guys have no clue, but they want brownie points for trying, and as long as you're happy, they usually don't mind if you do an exchange!

Laurel

I'm glad it's working out for you CR. I think you'll be so much happier getting what you really want and it will make Larry happy too. The fact that you are both doing it together will work in your favor too. I'm sure he knows you appreciate his efforts even those didn't work out for reasons you mentioned.

I would stress to them that they are DEFECTIVE....they fall out of your ears, so that - to me - is defective! Otherwise, they MIGHT not be able to take something like pierced earrings back......not sure, but in one state where I lived, you could not return pierced earrings because of health issues. Definitely take them back NOW and don't wait till after Christmas when it is a PITA to return things. Happy hunting.....

Glad you're going to take them back.You wouldn't be happy keeping something you didn't like.Better to get something you do.

LOL at Chemocurl,exchanging diamonds for a door and paint.A woman after my own heart!!!

As for me i'd rather have pearls than diamonds,but these days i'm like chemocurl,i'll take new garden tools,stuff i want for the house etc over either,since i'm retired,hardly ever dress up anymore,and am content to stay home.
Kathi

We went to Kmart...took back the ones he bought.Then went to Kohl's.I got a nice pair of 1/4 Carot ones that sparkle like crazy! I told him...see ...I saved you 100 bucks and I'm happy,so all is well....When Mama's happy..everyone's happy and this is one happy Mama tonight! LOL!

Excellent! I'm so happy for you, CR. And give that man an extra hug ... because he was sweet enough in the first place to want to get you a "someday" gift NOW. It reminds me of all the people who save their "good stuff" for special occasions ... tells me that he thinks YOU are mighty special to HIM and he wants you to know it.

I just love a happy ending! Yay for Larry for being so reasonable and yay for you for not having to wear dull earbobs, CR!

Don't you just love Kohl's? I know I do, I was thinking about sheets this morning and want to go get some fun, bright ones. I know Kohl's will have some. (I don't want them for sheets, though, I'm gonna cut 'em up for something else!)

That was really sweet of your DH to surprise you with the earrings. The screw backs were a very valid concern. I'm glad you told him & you both are happy now. I've had DH buy me things & I just didn't want to hurt his feelings but didn't really like the item either. Of course, he notices when I don't wear it & then his feelings are hurt because I'm not wearing it. Better to be honest, IMO. DH told me he wanted to buy me jewelry for Christmas. The mistake I've made in the past is hurting his feelings by telling him that we couldn't afford what he bought & actually getting upset with him for buying me something nice. I'm very fortunate to have such a sweet DH to keep surprising me after me doing this. So this year when he told me that he wanted to buy me jewelry, I told him that it really wasn't necessary, that I'd had plenty this year (we just built a house & bought quite a bit of new furniture). He said he still wanted to get me something. So I asked if it was ok if I went shopping with him so I could point out things I wanted. It worked out really great; I love my new jewelry & he was glad I went because I chose a white gold setting & he told me he would've gotten yellow gold.

Glad you found what you wanted. Give him a big hug and
kiss..........he's a thoughtful man.

Moral of the story....be careful what you say to men, they only listen when you don't want them to.
LOL,
Donna

It's the thought that counts. He tried to give you something you wished for. Tell him about the screwbacks not being right, and ask if you can go shopping together for the right kind. If my man spent $179 on a gift for me, I would apreciate it. DH and I have a mutual understanding not to give each other gifts this year. I'd be thrilled if he even gave me even a chocolate bar!

jannie -- that is good advice and she already followed it!

Posted by chubby_rat on Sat, Dec 22, 07 at 22:25
We went to Kmart...took back the ones he bought.Then went to Kohl's.I got a nice pair of 1/4 Carot ones that sparkle like crazy! I told him...see ...I saved you 100 bucks and I'm happy,so all is well....When Mama's happy..everyone's happy and this is one happy Mama tonight! LOL!