The seven fishes is a traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner.

When DD was little, both families wanted us to make the rounds both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

I had to put my foot down. It was too much. I told them we'd see everyone on Christmas, but Christmas Eve was 'ours'. We three do things together, just us. We may visit neighbors who are alone, or take a walk in the neighborhood to see the lights. When DD was in high school, she worked at a restaurant and always volunteered to work C. Eve so the parents with children could be home with them--so we'd take in a bunch of treats for the employees, and we'd have dinner there. These days, DH 'cooks' Christmas Eve (the only night of the year he does). He makes pita pizza. DD comes over, we gorge on pizza and cookies, get our presents under the tree, watch "The Christmas Story", maybe go out for a ride.

But overall, it's quiet and relaxed. Christmas Eve is the one holiday day I refuse to let be hectic.

When my kids were growing up I used to make Swiss fondue Christmas Eve. These days I usually join my daughter and her family. Her in-laws do their gift exchange Christmas Eve, and put on quite a spread.

Just Bill and I here and maybe our ladybug if she decides to join us. I will fix us a more than usual type of dinner and we always talk on the phone with a couple sisters of mine and his. Daughter is always invloved with the other side of her family and their traditions on Christmas Eve. Our time with her is Christmas Day.

Our kids all come Christmas Eve day around 10:00 or so. We open gifts, eat and spend the afternoon enjoying each other. Then at 6:30 we are going to the Christmas Eve service at the church. Christmas day we go to each of their houses to see what Santa has brought.. Long day but fun...

Since we do a huge Thanksgiving for hubby's family, we do Christmas for my family which ranges from 3 to 10. Christmas Eve I make a great seafood casserole and hubby makes lasagna or something Italian. Son and his wife and 2 grandsons (also her mother) come for dinner. Kids get to open a couple of presents so my family can enjoy watching. They leave early to get ready for Santa. My DIL and I are pretty easy and open with each other. I tell her repeatedly that she can change it up any time. I will not ever "expect" that they will do a certain thing year in and year out. Over the years we have struggled with the demands or expectations, the tugging. I don't want to do that to our kids.

We usually go to church and have a quiet evening at home. Sometimes my brother visits from out of town and we have dinner at our house and hang out. On Christmas day we go to the relatives for dinner and holiday cheer. We used to go to relatives for Christmas eve and in later years we started having our parents at our house and finally ended up spending Christmas eve with my MIL in the nursing home when she was no longer able to get out. Some of my fondest memories are of those last years spent with her. We brought food and beverages and gifts and even some family videos and celebrated with her in her room. She was so appreciative and I felt like we were truly doing something in the spirit of the season as she would otherwise have been alone.

We go to Christmas eve service then back to my home for dinner. After dinner we open gifts. Everyone is gone by 9 so the kids can get to bed before Santa comes. Christmas
morning we have breakfast at the daughter's and check out
their Christmas. Then on to the son's to see what Santa left there. We are usually home by 10 to spend the remainder of the day in peace and quiet.

Since Harry's DD and family live in CA and I have to share my daughter with her DH's family, they come here for Thanksgiving and spend Christmas eve with his family. So we have a quiet Christmas eve. Harry's son died suddenly 4 years ago. David always came sometime around Christmas. You never knew with him--it may be three days before or, like one year, at 4 a.m. Christmas morning. I learned to be prepared for whatever. ;0 Christmas is still kind of hard, but we do fine--he'd want us to.

I like to sit and look at our tree and listen to Christmas music on Christmas eve. We may not have a lot of material stuff, but we have enough for us, and I'm grateful. We talk to the girls Christmas Day, our grandkids and others in our big family. It's a wonderful season, isn't it?

I usually go to bed.

Sue

I'm usually at work or home alone. The kids' father usually has his family get-together that day. This year he is hosting (maybe) but doesn't know what he's doing yet. I have to work Christmas day so Christmas Eve for me is free, if he isn't taking the kids down south to his family or having a dinner at his house. Still don't know. Probably won't know until the day before. So, I'm not making any plans. If he doesn't have a dinner period we will celebrate our Christmas that day, eat a big dinner and open gifts. If he is having it Sola and I will do something, maybe go see a movie and we will plan to have our Christmas on another day.

Christmas Eve has always been the big holiday for me - I like it more than Christmas Day. I remember when I was young, being surprised that many people have a very low-key Christmas Eve. As much as I love our Christmas Eve, I can see that as being very nice too.

Growing up we always had Holy Supper on Christmas Eve - no meat just potato soup, cabbage, pierogies, fish (later shrimp too), and rice pudding for dessert. We hosted my aunt and her family.

My ex-husband's family did Holy Supper too so after I was married we did Christmas Eve with his family and Christmas Day with my family. By that time most of the rest of my family was coming to my sister's house for Christmas.

Now that I'm divorced, I go to my sister's for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. It's meatless and we have fish, pierogies and rice pudding but the rest varies.

Things change over the years but Christmas has always worked out.

When I lived in CA, we went to 11p.m. church service. Here the last service is at 7 p.m. I am always a candle lighter. Some years I cook something special on Christmas Eve, some years I don't.

We host an open house on Christmas eve for our neighbors and friends. There are no set hours, food or invitation list, but people know we will offer them a glass of cheer if they stop by our house. We usually go to bed fairly early because we have a lot to do on Christmas day, starting early in the morning.

Quiet, very quiet. Same for Christamas Day.

Our traditon was always to celebrate Christmas Day and Christmas Eve was appeitizers and junk food. Christmas Day was huge starting with breakfast, opening the gifts and a large Italian dinner with lots of family.
Now that the girls are all out of the house, it's changed. This year Christmas Eve will be the big dinner with the two grandkids opening our gifts to them. Christmas morning will be breakfast at one of daughter's house and watching our granddaughter open her gifts. They want to spend the afternoon together as a small family and visit friends, etc. So the other unmarried girls will come back to our house late Christmas Day for a Prime Rib dinner. I think this will work. At least I hope so.
Eileen

We used to always open presents on Christmas eve. But, this year will break all records... and traditions... and I will go to work.

Then, later that evening I don't know yet. I will find out. But above all, I shall not feel sorry for myself.

Moni

I wonder if I jinxed myself by saying it always works out. At the end of the weather forecast last night, the weatherman had the nerve to mention a storm Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. That is the one thing that could ruin Christmas for me since my sister lives 45 minutes away and I don't drive in bad weather. I have to have the boys here for their dad on Christmas Day too. That was one of the few things my ex was good for - driving in snow. It wouldn't be the worst thing but I need to have a plan B!

We used to go to Midnight Mass so there would be no interruption while we were opening our gifts. That's a little too late for me now. Fortunately we now also have a choice of a 4PM, 430PM, 530PM or 9PM to pick from. We will hit one of the early ones and DW will put dinner in a crock pot so we can eat right after. Beyond that is up in the air; we might go to DD#1s houise to see DGS but I'd rather wait until Christmas morning.

Have small gift exchange. Go to bed early. I have usually about 150 cancer buddies and their families here for annual open house from 2pm to 8pm on Christmas Day. Very emotional.

I hope we don't have a snow storm as there are a few who fly in.

ellie 45-your Christmas day sounds interesting. Do you do the food yourself?

Pam, I don't do the food and have a couple who come in at 8am on Christmas day and bring what they have done a head of time and cook other things and set up. Each year we plan a menu of good healthy food with an ethnic flair. It is the equivalent of dinner food and appetisers.

The last several years I have been too sick to do much. I
wouldn't spend my energy cooking even being well. A few people stay over when they find they need each other and
so this reunion always has its twists and turns.

I now have 190 people.. the most ever. Even if someone in the group dies, their families return because the bond among us is very strong.

In years past, Christmas Eve was quiet, potato soup or oyster stew, just us two. Me scrambling to wrap the last of the gifts and get ready for Christmas Day.

Christmas Day was wild. All of DIL's many relatives and lots of friends are invited for festivities, starting at 9:00 AM....the only request is you must show up in your jammies if you want a Bloody Mary. Even one neighbor asked why so many people were showing up in car loads at my house in their pajamas - the next year, they were here. It got to be almost a costume party. I remember the year I was wearing pajamas with feet and sporting my new pearl earrings, pearl necklace and braclet that I got from DH that year.

Ahhhhh, the good old days.

ellie 45, I am sorry you are sick. Your group sounds incredible and you must be too.

Well, the ex finally replied to the text message I sent him about 2 or 3 weeks ago about what he had picked out for the kids. They both gave us identical wish lists so I didn't want to duplicate anything. Ended up having to just buy whatever since he never replied...until now. So, I then asked about Christmas Eve and he is doing his dinner the day before Christmas eve so we are having our dinner on Christmas Eve this year. We always open one or two gifts the day before. Usually pjs.

we usually got to my DH brothers garage for ham and turkey and potato salad relishes and buns. Then open gifts for a couple of hours that everyone has spent too much money on except us because quite a few years ago I told them I was done with buying gifts. I was tired of buying things nobody wanted and making the stores richer and me poorer.
When I was growing up with nine borothers and sisters we lived on a farm and after the milking was done we ate supper. Then we all took baths and we would open out gifts while wearing our robes. Then we all laid down and tried to take naps so we could stay awake during midnight mass. At 11 we drove 18 miles to church and for a half an hour the choir sang christmas songs and it was so beautiful. There were about 7 or 9 real christmas trees by the altar and I think they all had blue lights. It was a high mass in latin at that time so I'm sure we never got home until about 2 and then we would have potato salad and hot ham sandwiches with homemade pickles and miracle whip on homemade buns. They were so good. The ham was home grown and cured too. Then we went to bed and got up at 5 to milk again.

Pam, thanks for your kind words. I am feeling good now however, I have had serious pneumonia not related to cancer for the past 3 years and as things go just not well at this time of year. I think this year is going to be the best one in a long time. Thanks for asking too as we are an unusually close group who didn't know each other until we got cancer.

So many 'we used too's on this thread...

When my kids were little, we used to go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve. That was the day my ex-husband's family had always celebrated Christmas. We had a big family dinner (traditional with all the trimmings), opened gifs, and then went to midnight services. Most years, we also went to my ex's grandmas house for a short visit. There was always a big family celebration (with all the aunts/uncles/cousins) going on there too.

Christmas Day morning was our own little family celebration... we'd get the kids up, exchange gifts, eat breakfast.

Christmas Day (after breakfast) was with my family. Another big family gathering. Dinner (mid-day), clean up, gift opening.

And our own special Christmas tradition was the night of the 23rd of December - the day before Christmas Eve. Scheduled then because I didn't want my kids to confuse the real meaning of Christmas with all of the commercialism that was to follow. We baked a birthday cake for baby Jesus. We'd set up a nativity on the kitchen table and would have a birthday party and sing happy birthday to Jesus. Sometimes we'd invite special friends to share the occasion with us, but usually it was special family time. We started this when the kids were tiny and continued well into adulthood (until we were scattered and no longer within easy driving distance).

Now we go with the flow. Sometimes someone in one of our (Gary's or my) families have dinner Christmas Eve. One year, my oldest step-daughter did, but I was at work so couldn't attend. She cooked Chinese dinner and Gary and Emi brought a plate home to me. Other times, we're on the road, traveling. Still others, it's just us at home.

I love Christmas, yesterday, today, and tomorrow.. but I do miss those big family celebrations when the kids were little. My parents and the kids' dad's parents are all gone now, for several years. The big family gatherings in my family are a thing of the past, except for our 'sister's summer campout'. And, of course, I'm not part of the kid's dad's family get togethers any more. Gary's family doesn't get together as a big group (there are 10 kids in his family). So, it's just our immediate families (us and our kids).

We do love Christmas and take turns celebrating Christmas Day one year with Gary's kids, the next year with mine. We celebrate with the opposite family usually somewhere between Christmas day and New Year's day (because there's travel of several hours involvedf).

We have chaos now that we have six kids who have four spouses, seven young gkids, and four birthdays between the 20th and 29th. We celebrate each birthday, Xmas, and Xmas eve as separate events. I cannot convince my kids that I would happily - even gratefully - give up mine on the 23rd to give us all a little breather. And since my mom will be 88 on the 20th, she would also happily lighten the load. But nooooo, we will do it all again this year.

One gdtr will be three on the 26th. Last year her other gmother complained to me that she was too tired to celebrate Hannah's birthday the day after Xmas and wished her dtr would have the party at some other time of year. She asked me to help convince her dtr. Um, no, I don't think so. Not Hannah's fault her bday is when it is. In "other gma's" case, she can rest on the 27th, and I ca rest after dtr #3's birthday party on the 29th, I babysit on New Year's Eve, and have dtr #2's birthday party on the 3rd.

Other gma said she should have realized she wouldn't get any sympathy from me, and we had a good laugh. But...she just told her dtr that they cannot attend Hannah's party on the 26 th, will give her her birthday presents on Xmas, no reason given. Gosh, I just think that stinks. Other gparents are only 59 and 60, not working, appear to have plenty of money, lots of energy for projects and travel.

I 'll quit complaining now.