Stacie, I'm glad you had a good time with your family. And that you now have a vehicle that is big enough to handle 4 kids and two adults. I can't imagine how you managed to have the older kids in seat belts and the two babies in car seats in a truck. Ann

My 3-y-o really liked the "grandma reading on tape" book. If you do that, leave a gap after the ringing of the bell for the kid to remember that it means to turn the page, get ahold of the page, actually turn it, etc. My mom kinda rushed that interval. I give my kids a box of cereal each Christmas--something sort of fun and out of the ordinary from what we normally buy. It goes away after they eat it!!!! As he gets older, maybe you can have some category of present like this that's slightly goofy, and only grandma and grandpa give it to him. That'll give him an expectation on a SMALL scale, and reinject some intimacy into the gifts. Each year he can wonder, what weird cereal, or what weird food, or what funny pasta shape, will G&G get me this year? (and get to know someone in Kenosha, WI, or some other test market, who can send you their test-market cereals!). Or what T-shirt w/ what funny saying or great picture? So he knows the category of gift, but not the humor and thought, etc., that went into it? My grandma made my bro's their flannel & cotton pajamas. My big brother hated to wear the shirt when he slept; it got in his way. But it was comfortable, so he took to wearing it to school. My grandma thought this was funny, so she took to making him 2 shirts for Christmas every year. She went all out to find the most goofy fabric imaginable--the most babyish, pajama-looking flannel she could find. The more infantile and obviously-sleepwear-looking the design, the better. It became a little joke between them. Same grandma loved choc.-covered cherries; my dad (her SIL) loved fruit cake. They always bought them for each other for Christmas. The funny thing is, boring and predictable though it was, it was a neat little bond between then. The rest of us shied away from buying those presents; we knew Grandma loved the cherries, but we wouldn't get them, bcs that was horning in on Dad's territory. Once my dad teased her by putting the cherries (a predictable box shape & size) inside a slightly larger box--she laughed and said she'd worried suddenly she wasn't going to get any cherries! My daughter once got all excited opening a present (the gift was $$) from an aunt, because the aunt had tossed in a bag of Teddy Grahams--"look, mom, FOOD!" she cried. I was tickled to open the gift from my aunt and find the Brach's Christmas Nougats I loved but couldn't find. Those are the gifts that are intimate, I think. They're fun, and they're not too serious. but they reflect a genuine interest in the other person, and an ongoing dialogue. True, they're fleeting, but the bond isn't, and the story isn't. And truly, ANY gift will eventually end up in the landfill! At 3 he's too young to get this idea particularly, but he can identify w/ food (or juice w/ Elmo's pic on it, etc.). Also, something he'll use daily might be better--aim low instead of high--a backpack, a stepstool, slippers, a shirt w/ a big old truck on it (C.W.D. has great pictures on boys' T-shirts), a plastic cup in his fave color, etc.

Thank you all for sharing your own experiences and offering such thoughtful advice. My MIL is a wonderful woman and I know she will not be happy, when she finds out they've kept this from her. My husband's oldest sister was also not told, until recently. She was furious, with the two brothers and sister I mentioned earlier. She took her kids aside (all in their 20s) and said if they EVER do this to her, she will disown them. She's actually pretty cool. So, the problem is that the BIL I'm not happy with (sell the farm, etc.) hosts the Christmas Eve party each year. I talked to my husband and he doesn't want to spend Thanksgiving with them, anyway. We usually don't drive in every year, so that's not going to be a problem. As for his mother...she might not even go to the Christmas Eve event, since she has not felt well and didn't go last year. My husband is hoping he'll be doing well enough by Christmas that he can stop by her house and visit. I'm sure she has to know something is going on, but she did this same thing to her mom, years ago...and that's where the kids got the idea. I just don't like all this lying. The brothers were freaking out and begged me to 'stay with the story' when my husband was out of it. Now, it's taken on a life of its own. She's not my mom, so it's not my call...but during this same time, she knew her SIL was fighting cancer, her DIL was also fighting cancer and her first great-grandchild was born very premature. She took all this in stride...but my husband's condition has to stay a secret. The other frustrating thing...if she did know, she would have an absolute fit, over the way some of the kids have behaved, not only how they treated me, but that they didn't visit my husband that often and she was kept out of the picture. When she does find out, I'm going to be out of town! LOL (Okay, I do live out of town) but you know what I mean... After thinking about all this and reading all your posts...and talking to my husband last night...I think we won't go, unless his mom is going to be there. If she is, he'll have to tell her before Christmas Eve. When he does, it might be kind of fun to go. Is that terrible or what? :)

Last year I was in The Container Store while they were having a demonstration of the packing cubes from Eagle Creek. It was fascinating to watch a professional fold, pack and arrange everything. It was mesmerizing, almost like an infomercial but without the hype of "buy 1 get 5 free plus a Kinzu knife if you order now!". I don't travel that much but I did have a trip to Ireland coming up so I thought long and hard about it. In the end I bought a few Space Bags by Eagle Creek which were the equivalent of large zip lock bags. They're plastic so you can see everything that's in them and after your fill them you seal it shut and roll it up to force the air out through a one way valve which compresses everything. They must be like the ones Acey posted about. The regular packing cubes are great at keeping standard clothes (suits, dresses etc) neat and wrinkle free. These are considered a companion to the regular packing cubes like the ones Susan posted and are great at compressing bulky items like sweaters or coats. I bought a few different sizes and they worked. I really liked the smaller one that I used for my toiletries. I'm always worried that something will leak so I used to double bag them in ziplocks. The Space Bags are much thicker and sturdier and did the trick. Here is a link that might be useful: Space Bags