Isn't that sweet. We treasure you too Lucy. Were all the other flowers solid color? You should save some seeds & see what you get next year. I'm home alone most of the time. DH works out of town at a halfway house for developmentally disabled adults. VERY fine line between him & the clients.LOL He is gone all week & home Fri afternoon to Mon am. I can't see to drive anymore (eye muscles don't work together). It gets real quiet around here sometimes & I talk to the dogs & cats & plants. The animals talk back but I can't understand them & the plants remain mute (so far). Haven't started talking to inanimate objects yet, so I guess that's a good sign. LOL Give your DH a hug & be glad he's there. Linda

Hi Cinful...I know exactly what you mean...when the doctors told her 3-6 months left, I thought I would never stop crying, and I didn't want our last moments together to be miserable. I know we said everything we wanted and needed to say to each other, but in the end, I still worry that there may have been something else left unsaid, something I forgot to ask her, or something from the past that we just wanted to remember. We only got about 2 months together at the end, and even when it finally happened it seemed like it just couldn't be happening already. I am sorry that you are alone, I do have children and a husband, but we all lived together, and they really do not understand what I am going through. I feel like I am alone, except that I can't just break down all the time, I have to be strong...it feels like it is killing me to do that though. I really just want to crawl into bed and stay there. The one thing that keeps me going is that my mom asked me to. She told me to be strong for HER, and to be happy for HER. I am not happy, but I am being as strong as I can be. That means not thinking of her too often, or all I would do is cry. But I know she knows that. She bought me a journal at the end, and I didn't think it would help, but it has. I write to her as much as I can, everyday in the beginning, and I tell her the things I would have told her if she were here. It does help. My mom was my everything too...even though I have other family, and children, she was it. Every moment of the day we were together...have been for 42 years. She has sent me signs since she's been gone, I know a lot of people don't believe in that, and think it is wishful thinking, but it's not. Keep an open mind after everything is over, don't shut yourself down. Stay with your mom till the end, try not to feel guilty...I know that even though my mom and I talked about everything, I still felt guilty when she passed, like maybe there was more I could have done. I am trying to get past that. I feel so bad for you, and your dad...maybe try to be strong for him, as I have to for my baby...it helps to be there for someone else, when all you want to do is go with your mom. I know at least for me that is true. When she first got sick, I thought I would go with her in the end, but I cannot go right now. My family needs me, my baby needs me. I think that is why he happened so late in my life...he was my lifeline from God...Take care, please let me know how you are doing, and I will do the same.

I will echo the others against leaving the cats alone for five days. Talk to your vet and get the name of a reputable cat sitter. My cat sitter came to the house to meet my cats (years ago) and they grew to love her. Before leaving on a long trip, the sitter always reminded me to change the batteries in the thermostat (if it was winter) and she kept a folder with information about my preference for a plumber, electrician, etc. After all her years of pet sitting, she'd seen/experienced it all. Really, it's good to have somebody set eyes on them once a day. It's worth having that peace of mind while you're away and it's kinder for the kitties.

Oh come on, mkroopy, just keep the bonds going if for now only when nobody can 'see' you LOL. She's going to look back on the great father she had growing up as a child one of these days and she's going to know the old guy really really loves her even when she was a butthead. You might ry letting her invite one of her best buddies along occassionaly. While it's not exactly one on one, it's still well spent time with your daughter. The day will come too when she is old enough for a boyfriend and you can pretty well rest assured that the bohfriend will think the guy willing to take them doing all the boating, fishing, blah blah is pretty cool. I never bought a boyfriend home that did not suddenly discover all the cool stuff my father did (hunting, fishing, workshop, gunsmith ect ect) and I'd find myself once again hunting during season if I wanted to see my boyfriend on those weekends, fishing, refilling shells in the workshop blah blah. I have a hunch it won't be very long before your daughter appreciates all the skills and fun things you've taught her to enjoy and do. I don't shoot animals, but I loved wildlife photography while my father and my boyfriend (now husband) sat under a tree waiting for Bambi to come along. Give her time, she's just at that stage. She likely does not want to be seen with her mother either unless Mom's getting her hair done or clothes shopping (Mom, could you just give me your credit card and drop me off?)