Well, she's gone

12 years ago

Our Russian exchange student left a little bit ago. Before she left she mentioned the musical we were going to go to and if we were still going. I got the impression she wanted me to invite her to go with us, which I didn't do. She gave me a hug and apologized saying I was a great host mom. Really?

I went back to see how Sola was taking it and she immediately asked if she could use the bottom drawers of Liza's bed. I guess that told me how she was feeling.

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Comments (30)

OklaMoni
12 years ago
Yeah! Now, enjoy life again!!!!

Moni
glenda_al
12 years ago
Good, Kathleen!
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guilt is something that you have to work through- the letter was, incidently, a brilliant start. telling her during your quiet moments (and taking time for quiet moments) will be another step. after that, the best thing to do is to atone for the mistake by proxy- literally, paying it forward. if you used to cook with your mom, bake in her memory, and share the food with people who valued her- or total strangers, who would benefit from the kindness. if she sewed- make pot holders out of an outfit she never liked on you any way, or start a quilt from favorite garments, and think of her while you work. (you can do two- one for the memories, one to 'sacrifice' by donating it to a shelter, or to a church raffle) if she gardened- plant a perennial, and express your love for her by tending it until it is big enough to share with other gardeners. if you're church-going, instead of paying for masses or candle vigils- give of yourself, donate TIME, or the skill of your hands. I know too many churches that seem to frown on this- if they're greedy, find your local Unitarians or Society of Friends (or habitat for Humanity, or women's shelter) and give of yourself there. then... start a scrap book of you and your mother as you were without whatever family nonsense parted you. rebuild that relationship, and carry it forward. that will allow you to tell her story to your children (or your god-kids, if you're like me, and non-breeding) without the shadow of the feud. it's not easy, and take some effort- but it pays you back over and over again. trust me. it's people like my brother that worry me- he simply doesn't care. not only is he not feeling guilty- if I suggested such a thing, he'd be somewhere between amused and offended (well, more offended, since he's not a fan of mine, either)
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Oh (((jenna))) how sad you must feel for your past friend. The poor woman doesn't have enough love and compassion in her soul to expend some to a long time, ill and worried friend in need of a smile and a kind word. It is such a shame it is because she has lost someone(s) before. A shame that her hardness blinds her to the loving warmth she could get by helping someone who needs a little love and kindness. She is just about the most pitiful creature I can imagine. It will be a harsh learning experience for her when at a very low and needful point in her life your past friend will have no one to "expend the energy" on her. Well even after this cold and calculated way she showed her colors I'm nearly sure you will still give a bit of love to her as she was at one time so special to you. That is the role of a victim of the heart. You are a victim, you are the victim of a loving and generous heart. That means it will be broken and abused by people who call themselves friends. The nice thing about being a victim of the heart is someday it comes back to you in the best of ways. I'm glad to hear your surgery day tests came back neg and will thank my God for the rest to be so and for you to recover quickly. The broken saddened heart heals and the scars make us stronger. Be well and enjoy all that is offered in this time and in this place. LIL
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Jasdip
12 years ago
Yay!!! Now don't you start feeling one bit guilty!!!! Not one bit.

You and Sola can now enjoy yourselves and each other's company.
linda_in_iowa
12 years ago
Doing the happy dance for you Kathy. It will be wonderful for you to have a peaceful household.
lynn_d
12 years ago
YAY!!! Ding Dong the brat is gone!!!! Yes, do not feel guilty!!
pekemom
12 years ago
Now you can breathe easier, glad she's gone...
FlamingO in AR
12 years ago
Man, she's a user until the bitter end! I'm glad you didn't give in. Now you can all relax and have the good times with Sola that Liza wouldn't allow.

Yay. I'm happy for you, Kath. For all of you!
minnie_tx
12 years ago
I'm glad she is gone for you. I think people who take these children in are very special. I couldn't wouldn't do it.
I hope you've seen the last of her
houstonmom_gw
12 years ago
You must feel relieved to have that over with! Glad it worked out to have her go elsewhere.
Jodi_SoCal
12 years ago
Like.

:-)
Kathsgrdn
Original Author
12 years ago
Later Sola came in to ask for help adding minutes to her Tracfone and I asked her if she felt sad about Liza going. She said, "uh....a little bit but a little happy". I think she was being nice and is a whole lot happy.

I just tried looking for tickets for a later date to Wicked and there are none, it's no longer in Cincinnati after this weekend. I'm so po'd! The only tickets available for this weekend or this week appear to be $300 seats.
Adella Bedella
12 years ago
It won't fix anything, but maybe Liza remembered her manners and was trying to be nice.

Wicked is awesome. You might check with the theater and see if you can get walk-up type tickets at the last minute for seats that haven't sold. I can't remember what I've heard about our local theater, but I think they have reduced rates at the last minute for tickets that haven't sold. If the thater is too far away from where you live, it might not be worth it.
kacram
12 years ago
I'm glad Kath... do NO feel guilty!

I'm sorry about Wicked!
you could come out here and watch NutCracker! lol
Kathsgrdn
Original Author
12 years ago
Abdella, it's about a 3 hour drive so don't think that will work. I may call the theater tomorrow and ask if there are tickets though. Ticketmaster does say there may be other tickets available with limited visibility...or there may be 5 seats that aren't all together. There was still going to be 5 of us because one of Lauren's friends asked to join us.

Kat, not sure the kids would want to see the Nutcracker. I thought about Celtic Christmas, it's in Cincinnati but only plays on a day I have to work. Alex would really like it, it likes that kind of music. Not sure about the other kids, though.
snap58_in_wi
12 years ago
Good News! Now you can go back to enjoying your family & Sola without the stress of having that little instigator in your home. I bet ALL the kids are as much relieved as you are. In a couple of days, the bad memories of her will be replaced with the much happier ones you create :)

Ginger
Georgysmom
12 years ago
YEAH!!!!!
pudgeder
12 years ago
YIPPEE!!!
michelle_phxaz
12 years ago
Kath, I think you will sleep really good for the first time in a long time! I am really happy for you, you made a hard decision and triumphed in the end.

Many exchange students aren't in it for the experience, they are in it because they think all Americans are rich and will shower them with money.

Kath, what was the program you went through with the student exchange? Our students were from AFS.
petaloid
12 years ago
Thank goodness.
donna37
12 years ago
Glad she is gone,whata relief for you. Wonder how she will make out with the new family when she shows her real self.

DD wound up with an exchange student last year when the girl wasn't getting along with the family's DD. Seems like the family's DD didn't think the student fit in with her and her friends. The exchange student had made friends with my GD, they were both seniors and as things progressed she asked GD if there was a chance she could stay with them. DD had never had an exchange student but said yes and did the paperwork and Maria came to stay with themthe last 4-5 months of the school year. She was from S. America and a really sweet girl. She even got her family to let her stay an extra month. Everyone really liked her and she really fit in well in the family.
ont_gal
12 years ago
good....
pammyfay
12 years ago
Just in time for Thanksgiving! Enjoy!
jemdandy
12 years ago
Gee! You got something to be thankful for on this coming Thursday.
jannie
12 years ago
There's a saying that fits. Good riddance!
jannie
12 years ago
And I definitely think you should tell the host organization about your experience, how she broke house rules, made messes, left wet towels around, etc. They could use the feedback.
dedtired
12 years ago
Good riddance. You did her a favor by teaching her the lesson that rude behavior won't be tolerated, and people are not door mats. Hope the next person doesn't take her sh!t either.
kathi_mdgd
12 years ago
Well now you have more to be thankful for tomorrow.Good for you for letting her go.As the saying goes,one bad apple can spoil the whole basket,and it sounds like she made your and Laurens life miserable.Glad for you that she's gone,and just a bad memory now.
Happy Thanksgiving,enjoy!!
Kathi
lynn_d
12 years ago
No Jannie, the saying is: "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!"

Happy Thanksgiving, Kathleen, from our house to yours.
liz
12 years ago
well I missed what happened but I'm guessing it was horrible...so glad she's gone and hopefully things will be better around your house!! You're a good egg for doing this Kathy...I could never do it...
Granlan_TX
12 years ago
Big sigh of relief for all of you, Kath, and Yippee! :)

Well, she's gone

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