How miserable and worrisome for you. Your stomach must be in a knot. We just never stop worrying about our children, do we? You definitely have my heartfelt prayers and thoughts. I hope your concerns are unfounded. Here's a hug ().

Thanks socks-that hug was just what I needed!

Oh Satine,do you feel that arm under yours? I'm holding you up, and giving you my strength to get you thru the day. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of prayers your way.

Those sort of bad feelings are worrisome.

Sure hope all is fine with your daughter and she calls you.

(((Hugs)))

Yes I know about those bad feelings. Just sending hugs and good thoughts that you will find better news and no matter what we are here for you.

Those bad feelings can be wicked, but sometimes they're unfounded. Let's hope this is one of those times. Adding my hug.......

(((Satine)))

Sure hope your intuition is wrong. So hard to work and worry.

I understand the Mother's Intuition and I am sending my good thoughts and prayers that you will hear from your daughter soon. (((Satine)))

Thank you so much for all your responses. There are just some things that seem odd to me-my other daughters calling me at unusual (for them) times makes me think they might know something and are wondering if I know also. I know they try to protect me so this would be like them. Losing my husband was a horrible thing but having someone you love missing and not knowing if they are hurt or cold and hungry or in danger is more than anyone should have to endure. I keep telling myself that she has made her choices and they are hers to make. Somehow that doesn't help. I just want my daughter back happy and healthy as she once was. Sorry, Im rambling but can't seem to get my thoughts together. Thank you for your wishes. Satine

Greetings Satine,

We are tempted to go back to the past, and it is worthwhile to do so on occasion.

But yesterday has gone, and it's today in which we live.

We try our best to equip our youngsters for life, and their increasing independence and hope that they grow along that line in a fashion to which we can offer our thankfulness and blessing. Some do that, partly through their own internal mindset and spirit being in harmony with such views.

But some pursue their independence in other ways, sometimes driven in part by issues from outside which take over a major part of their lives.

When such happens, it casuses the loved ones great tension of spirit, but we have to keep a distance from them, emotionally ... and we must consider carefully how we can be part of their lives, but without becoming enablers, making it easier for them to pursue their destructive paths.

I am troubled that you are going through this difficult time - it is so hard to see our loved ones following unwise paths and doing destructive things in their lives, and especially so when we fear that their physical, emotional or mental health, or a half decent future, or even their life itself, may be in jeopardy.

May your heart find within itself the resources that it needs, perhaps aided by the support of family and some friends, during this difficult time, to see the thing through with a measure of trust and peace.

I hope that you may hear soon and that the situation may be much less bad than you fear ... and send some good thoughts and hopes that you may hear soon, plus am offering some prayers on behalf of your loved one and you and the others who love her.

ole joyful

I'm so sorry, Satine. Our babies are our babies no matter what they do. We want them to be whole and happy--maybe because that's the only way we can be whole and happy, too. My heart goes out to you (((Satine)))

Satine - Most addicts have other mental health issues going on. I know you said you have a social worker to talk to but I really recommend NAMI(National Alliance for Mental Health).

They have resources throughout the country. They have monthly support groups in most major cities and an excellent program called family to family.

Here is a link that might be useful: NAMI

Thinking of you Satine and wishing good things for your and your daughter.

Sue

Not to knock your mother's intuition, but we're at what can be a difficult time of the year. We have memories of our kids at Halloween, and Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up. Commerce is busy promoting a lot of 'happy families' stuff. Holidays can require some assessments of the past before we can get 'here and now'.

You and your daughter are in my prayers.

Oh, Satine, I'm so sorry for the difficult time you age going through. I Pray your daughter contacts you soon. Can you stand another friendly hug? (((((((((Love)))))))))

I am very sorry you are faced with this.

It might help if you got some counseling from a reg. counselor or from the AA program for family members of alcoholics. My doctor told me years ago that a counselor could offer options that I have not thought of, other ways to handle the problem I was having. It made sense to me.

Sending prayers and good thoughts for you and your daughter. I sure hope she is ok. ((((Satine))))

maybe this is the time to be up front with your other dds...tell them you have this odd feeling something isn't right...let them in...and share...

Satine - I think about you so often! I've been in the same boat; worrying about a child. I can't imagine having lost my dh too; at least I have mine for a sounding board.
I remember the "story" about your dh and daughter; I can't imagine that either. Please know that even when you don't ask, you are being prayed about. I don't even know you, but you're never far from my thoughts. A mother's pain can be unbearable. I hope you hear from your daughter very soon!

Sending you hugs and good thoughts.

Tami

I know how that Mother's Intuition feels. Hope she shows up soon and everything's okay.

Is there any service you can ask to check on her- Salvation Army for instance?

I hope the talk with the social worker was helpful, but we are here to help too. I am sending biggest hugs and keeping you in my thoughts. I truly hope things work out for the best.

((((((Satine))))))

A mother's intuition has saved my hide a few times, but been unfounded a few times too.
When DM got those feelings about a family member, she called the local law enforcement to that family member and requested a "Wellness check". Most law enforcement agencies in the US will eventually get to that person and then report back to you. That will also put you on record as her Mother in case of an emergency. (((Hugs)))

Fingers crossed there is a pleasant outcome.

Oh Satine, I cannot imagine what it must be like going through this. It's got to be just awful. However, the bottom line is there is nothing, nothing you can do. Your daughter needs to find her own way. It is not your fault. Your other daughters turned out just fine. All you can do is be there for her if she ever decides to get help. Meanwhile, be proud of the other girls and enjoy them. Find your joy through them. Don't miss out on the good in your life. ((((Satine)))

Adding my Prayers to all the others,Satine!

Others have pretty much said it all, but I also add a prayer of encouragement for you and all your family. It's so hard when our hearts ache for someone we love.

((((Satine))))

Positive thoughts for you Satine, that all is well.

((((((Satine))))))

I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of good wishes and thoughts I have received from all the caring people here. I had my meeting last night with the social worker and it helped so much. She really just reinforced what I already know-you cannot make choices for another. She also pointed out that if anything really bad (out of the ordinary) that I would hear and I know she is right. Chisue, I think you are absolutely right in that I am being influenced now because of the holidays and wonderful memories. This will probably be the first year without Susan being at least part of our holiday. Georgysmom, thank you for the reminder of the other wonderful people in my life. My other two daughters, their husbands and my grandchildren are all happy, healthy and successful in what they do. I have to embrace that and I do try to tell them all what they mean to me. Coming to this forum has been a real life saver for me and I am lifted up by the positive feedback and good wishes I receive here. May you all be blessed and know that you have been a positive force for someone who really needed your help. I hope that someday I can help someone as much as you have helped me. Satine

Reading your last post makes me want to cry, satine. Not just for your situation which must be almost unbearable for you at times, but for your gratitude for the nice people who send you encouragement--you're very eloquent in your thanks. I sure can't add any advice, just my prayers and thanks that you have a good social worker to talk to. I hope your bad feeling dries up and that you hear from your dear daughter very soon.

I'm so happy that your talk with the sw went so well. I know that what we imagine can be worse than the actual goings on, especially when we run the scenario over and over .. things get worse and worse! lol

(((((((((Satine))))))))

(((((Satine)))))

ole joyful

((Satine)) sending good thoughts for you and your daughter.

Anne

Hold t5hose words and our caring close to your heart when the days get long and cold, Satine.

((((Satine)))) I feel for you, I'm going through some issues with my son.

I just keep getting encouragment here and it is beginning to fill that empty space in me. Thank you more than I can tell you. Liira, I wish you luck. Satine

((Satine)) Hoping you get some relief and answers soon!

Satine, I know exactly how you are feeling...years ago, I was in the same place worried about my daughter and not knowing how or where she was.

It's so hard to be a mother sometimes...no matter the age of our children.

(((((Satine)))))

I'm glad you had some 'face time' with the SW. Support here is wonderful, but the human contact is important.

Our local paper has an that the high school men's club is presenting a speaker. His talk is something about "Fifty-two things a child needs from his father". Gah! *Only* 52?

Hang in there! You've been as good a parent as you knew how to be. It's up to your adult children to use what they've learned as they live their lives.

I don't have kids, so I don't feel like I can give advise on your situation, but, I'm so sorry you are going thru all this.

Hi again satine,

When I was operating as a clergyperson, if one of my parishioners/any member of the community had come in to share a story like you've just outlined, I'm of the feeling that might well have offered to go pay the daughter a visit, to make sure that she was ... what?

O.K. ... doing as well as could be expected?

Quite possibly she might have said that she didn't want me to intrude to that extent into the daughter's life - but that might have been a choice available to her.

ole joyful

Satine - I too think often of you. Our kids are everything to us and when one of them is hurting we hurt. I have no other advice to give you but please know that I'm thinking of you and if you don't mind, I'll be praying for both you and your daughter. That's about all I can offer you right now.