The only advice is to live your own lives and dreams...not those of other people.

That aside, Minnesota is not the end of the earth. Your families can travel to Rochester, and you can go see them, when time permits.

You must live across the river and on over the other side of Indiana. I'm sure the lake would make the drive back home all the futher. If your doing the mapquest thing, I've found I always get places faster than they do. :)

I can imagine moving to be tough, especially for the reasons you mentioned.
I've heard wonderful things from my family about Mayo. My neice has to go there about every couple of months. She found the best doctor there for her problems. Your husband would seem to have a great oportunity by getting into the Mayo Clinic. Is there any chance of you starting up your career again? Maybe in Minneapolis?
I don't have any wise words of wisdom but I hope it all works out.
If you do move you could meet up with your family in Chicago for the weekend. That could be fun.

The move would be hard. I can see both sides now that I am Gramma. I don't have any GB's I can see everyday. I would love to have it though! Family is important to me, but the road travels both ways....so do planes.
When DD and her first husband lived in Iowa and Hunter was born we made every trip we could there! We tried twice a year. One thing is tell them all NOT to visit at once. Its so much nicer to visit just a few at a time. DH and I went once, his parents went the next time. The DB and DS went the next time and so on. In between they'd come home say at Christmas time and in the spring.

Now about Mayo and Rochester...IMO there are NO better doctors or medical facilities anywhere! They are simply the BEST! It would be great for your DH.

I am not sure what your career is exactly, but I would think they'd have plenty of opportunities in the Twin Cities.

I doubt you could get much better than Rochester for learning!! It is world renowned!

My niece and her DH both work there. She was lucky enough to get a job in the cath lab right out of schooling! They both love the area!!

Now, about moving away. We moved (from SW MN) 300 miles from all of our family when DD was 6 months old. The first month was tough, then I decided that this is where we were going to be, and I had better realize that, and start living for MY family! We will have been here 25 years in June, and this is differently our home. I wouldn't move back to the rest of the family for anything now!!! You can make it or break it...no matter where you live!

Best of Luck!!! I think SW Minnesota is a very beautiful area!!! But, I am sure the weather will be a little different from what you have now.

Rochester is SE MN! "/

You need to do what is best for your husband and you and put the wants of your relatives aside. I cannot imagine turning down Mayo! What a wonderful opportunity. He has worked hard, and this opportunity is a reward for all that hard work. Be supportive and go for it.

in your heart of hearts, if your dh gets accepted...think you know the answer...a well trained dr is a blessing!

made the corp move several times...we started out in san diego, moved for 2 years to seattle, and back to san diego... our last, and the biggest, was to detroit...we've been here 20 years...the only difference with the last move, dd1 was in her jr year of hs...if i could go back in time, that was too much to ask of her but we did...

we all survived, and we're together...

Whatever happens,it will work out for the best. Don't let grandma bully you into a decision.

Bigbaby and I live about 20 minutes from Rochester. With my landscaping business I work there about 2 days a week. I feel it is a great city. Big enough (100,000+) to be able to offer lots and yet not so big to have the big city problems like some major metropolitan areas. If you want the big city Minneapolis/St. Paul is just over an hour away.
As for moving; When I was 30 and had just started my family I moved 1500 miles away to New Mexico for 16 years. My Dad and Mom were sorry to see their only grandchildren go halfway across the country but, they told us we had to live our own lives. We came back 7 years ago to be around them now to help with their care. Dad is 91 and Mom is 82. It was an excellent experience to move away. I learned to be self reliant. I look at my brother, who bought the farm right across the road, always lived within 100 yards of our parents, and I think some days I can still see the apron strings stretched across the road.
Do you have any specific questions about Rochester that I could try to answer?

Ron

Thank you all very much for your thoughtful responses. As you can tell, we are both very tied to our families, and choosing to move would make everyone sad. However, you make excellent points that we have to make our own lives.

I will be going to Rochester with DH. We'll go to a dinner event Thursday night and while he interviews on Friday, I'll drive around and look at the city, I suppose. They do have support groups and stuff in place for families, and the childrens' medical care is free!

I could find a job in Minneapolis, but I think I'm getting a little burned out right now. That would be a pretty hefty commute, especially with childcare and no extra support. We would figure out a way for me to stay home, I think. One concern I do have is that I hope I'm not doing this to run away from a job that is uncomfortable right now because I'm still in the learning curve. But, I suppose that's another topic entirely.

I always hope DH does well in his interviews. As for accepting the position, that's more difficult. It's done by a matching process. He ranks his top schools 1,2,3. Then, the schools rank the students they want. If his top school picked him, then he matches there. We are most certain if he puts Indiana as number 1, he'll match there. But, what if he puts Mayo as one? If they pick him, then we move to MN. If they don't pick him, will he still match at Indiana? There are lots of unknowns, and we won't know until Match Day in March. Then, we'll have four months to pack up and move.

It's a major life change for us, and we want to make sure we are doing the right thing for us - DH, me, and our children. I really value your outside opinions. Thank you.

The Mayo Clinic is a great place. Both of my parents-in-laws used it when they had a major health problems. They thought so highly of it that they both, shortly before their demise, willed their bodies to it for medical purposes.

And yes, the grass is greener in Rochester, MN than central Indiana - literally. At the end of July when everyone's lawns are turning brown in Indiana, the lawns in Rochester will still be green.

But, you may find it advantageous to become a Vikings fan. There is a strong rivalery (sp?) between the Vikings, Green Bay Packers, and the Chicago Bears. I'm a Packer's fan.

Tell grandmother that she can come to visit after you get settled into your new living quarters. Rochester is not the 'boonies'. Weatherwise, the most impact will be winter. Minnesotians embrace winter sports, but people outside the state may have opposing views. The major impact winter has on the budget is home heating and stress on automoblies. Salt corrosion on vehicles is the biggest factor. A well insulated and wind-proof house is highly desired, coupled with a high effeciency furnace. These items go along way in reducing winter costs.

I don't have any experience with MN although my mom said Mankato is a lovely area, but my In-Laws have 4 grandchildren. My 2 live 60 miles away and the other 2 live 1,000 miles away. My inlaws see my kids about 1-2 a month. They see their other 2 about 1-2 a year. Despite that, they are EXTREMELY close to all of them. Nowadays, there is internet, emails, webcams etc to help stay close.

If it was me, I'd research all you can on the school districts, the crime rates, the housing prices etc. Whatever is important to your family. Are they better then where you are now?

I know it's a hard choice on many levels-Good Luck!

We lived in St Paul,MN for 9 years between 1996 and 2005. DH and I have been patients at Mayo since 2003. We now live back in Chicago and continue our physicals and other major treatments there. Mayo is the absolute best for medical training and it's awesome if you are a patient.

I love super big cities so the Rochester area is pretty small for me. However, DH has a cousin who moved there about 2 years ago with her husband and 2 small kids and they love it there. They have found great friends and live in a very family oriented area. St. Paul is 1 1/2 hrs away, Minneapolis just a few minutes more. If you are interested in outdoor activities, Rochester is a great place to be.

DH is from Texas and his family is mostly still there. Most of my family is in Michigan or California. Rochester does have an airport and it's on the interstate highway system. So, yes, while you may move away from families, you are not being banished to nowheresville. I would not give up the chance to train at Mayo if I was a doctor - it's an awesome place.

What's your career field? Are you sure there won't be a job for you?

Right now, I work for a mid-large size pharmaceutical company in the IT department. I have expertise in SAP, which is a common software used in other industries. I have great transferrable skills, so there are probably options - possibly even at mayo. I still have to look into that part of it.

I have great pay and wonderful benefits. It would be hard to leave my job simply because of the culture and the "golden handcuffs"

Considering that world leaders go to Mayo when they need care, the distinction is obvious. But I'm sure you know that.

There's another option. If they really wanted to see the kids more often, they could move too! I wouldn't let that be a blackmail item. It's obviously a consideration but your marriage and family are your priority I would hope. Sometimes we do what we don't want to for the good of the family.

Rochester is a surprisingly "middle class" area IMO. There's no movie stars hanging around too often (they tend to sneak in and out of the Mayo!) and Bill Gates doesn't have a summer home there. They are very dependant upon Mayo of course. I like the area. OK, I'm a bit biased, being Minnesota born and raised and no desire to leave. But then again, liking the area is one of the reasons I want to stay. I like the change of seasons. The car issue in winter is really not such a big deal since many people garage their vehicles but a good set of jumper cables is still treasured. With so much more plastic in cars today, rust is less of an issue and that probably isn't really a consideration of yours anyway. And there's plenty of car washes around. Quality food is available since there's a lot of farming in the area. What more can I say?

Before you come to the area I'd suggest you get a hold of the Chamber of Commerce or something or look up some info on Rochester on the net. Then you could check out some of the points of interest that interest you. You could also get a feel for how well the area accommodates your family's interests.

Rochester is about 90 miles from the Twin Cities. It has "small town" local television if that's a concern. Of course cable and satellite open that up. If it's of interest to you, it's designated television market area #154 (includes Rochester, MN, Mason City, IA and Austin, MN) with 144,700 TV households. The Twin Cities for comparison is #15 and Indianapolis is #25.

I don't go to Rochester very often but did work there a few days about a year ago so I stayed over. Was doing a lot of driving around. Roads are good. Services, stores and conveniences are good. Let's face it, there's great people, good people, bad people and jerks just like everywhere else. It's not like a big metropolitan area and that's good in some ways and bad in others and whether that's a pro or a con is dependant upon your priorities.

I can't speak to the Rochester schools specifically but can say that the Minnesota schools are always rated among the highest in the country. Education is a high priority in this state and it shows.

I would make one suggestion. Sit down as a family and make a two lists. 1) What do we LIKE about where we are? and 2) What do we DISLIKE about the area? Think it through and it should give you some ideas on what to check out when you're researching and in the area.

Good luck in your decision.

Here is a link that might be useful: This could get you started...