How incredibly sad for them, my heart aches for the pain that they are going through. I have a Friend this happened to twice, although it was many years ago and at that time the hospital would take care of the baby. There were no options for families then.
I have to say that my youngest child was born at just barely 7 months so I hope once they see the baby, that he/she truly is a baby that will help them make their choice of a resting place for their little one.
I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers.

My cousin lost a baby she dearly wanted. I think she was 7 or 8 months along. The baby was actually delivered (dead) and she and her husband were allowed to see him. Believe it or not, they took the body home and buried him in a tiny coffin in her parents' back yard farm. The family planted trees and flowers and placed a bench on the side . The baby's grave bears a small stone marker. It's a very beautiful, peaceful place. They subsequently had a health baby boy, now age 7.

In the early 60s, one of my sisters lost a fetus. She was quite far along in the pregnancy, I don't remember how far. She and her husband named the baby and had it buried it in the local cemetery. I'm sure she visits the grave.

I think the details of reporting fetal demise vary by state.

Maybe she could choose cremation and either bury the ashes or sprinkle them in a nice place if she doesn't want to keep the ashes at home.

I didn't say what I meant to say...

Since my sister had the baby buried in the local cemetery back then, our parents have since been buried there as well, and it's nice to have that little baby there in the family area. Even though we didn't know her, she is still part of the family all these years later. She has two full-grown brothers who won't forget their baby sister, as her grave site is there for them to visit.

My son and DIL lost a baby at 27 weeks. She had to deliver her and they had her cremated. I think the ashes are at her parents house. It has been over 3 years and it is still an extremely difficult subject for us to discuss.
The time of the year that she lost the baby and the to be birthdate are hard days to deal with. They have since had a little boy (who is the light of my life) but their baby girl has a special place in my heart as well.

My words to her would be chosen carefully. Please don't tell her that you understand what she is going through unless you have actually lost a baby that far along. Even though I had 2 miscarriages, they were early on and I made sure DIL understood that what I dealt with wasn't anything compared to her loss. And another point is that both the mother and father have to grieve seperately, they also have to grieve together. For the mother - she will have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the hormonal changes in her body that she can't control. No one else can feel the same way she will - even the husband. He will need to know that this isn't something she will be over in a few weeks. He will be able to go back to work and fill his time with other thoughts much easier than she will. The best thing he can do for her and she for him is to hold on to each other and share your ups and downs. He needs to be able to tell her that he is hurting as well - she needs to know that too. Men tend to feel they have to be emotionally removed and the strong one. It may sound like I am contradicting myself but it all goes into what I mean by grieving seperately and together.

I send your friend my deepest sympathies and prayers.

I remember hearing the story of an acquaintance many years ago whose baby was determined to have died in the uterus at about 7-8 months. The doctor had her carry that baby for a few weeks so that a naturally occuring delivery would occur to abort the baby rather than subject the mother to surgery. How dreadful!

What is her other choice? Not burial, not cremation. I don't see that there are any options here. It's not the responsibility of the hospital to dispose of it. I can't imagine not giving the baby the dignity of some respectable end.

I am so sorry. This is so heartbreaking but what would she do with a full term stillbirth? It is much the same. She and her DH must do what needs to be done. She doesn't have to keep the ashes if they cremate. She can have them interred or have them scattered if they wish.

The only other option would be to donate the body to science.

I can speak from experience. We were out of town and went into labor for some unknown reason. I delivered a son at 7 months. He was a beautiful baby. He had tons of dark hair. To look at him you would have never known he wasn't full term. He died at 24 hours old. We had a gathering at the funeral home and grave side services.

Our friends that stood up with us at our wedding had a son the same day and in the same hospital. That was difficult for all of us. Also my sister-in-law was pregnant at the same time, too. In time we all made it through.

My heart still aches when I hear of this happening to someone else. It is so difficult on a family.

More on my experience.. They moved me out of the maternity ward and we chose to spend time alone with the baby. I can say now I am so glad we did. The funeral director brought a wicker type bassinet with a white blanket in it. My Mother went and bought an outfit and blanket for us. My husband had to go pick out the casket and cemetery plots. That was so hard for him to do. I can still see our son in his blue outfit and white blanket in his beautiful tiny white casket. This has been 41 years ago. You never forget.

Someone said you don't know what it is like until you have gone through it. There have not been any truer words spoken. My heart goes out to everyone that has had to experience this.

I'm so sorry about your friend. I think these things run the gamut from doing the minimum--long ago my friend miscarried into the toilet and simply flushed.

DD's friend lost twins late in her pregnancy. She named them had a church funeral (with two tiny caskets), burial, then hosted a reception at a local hall.

My sister lived in Coronado, California when she had a preemie. The doc said it lived longer than any 7 month baby had before. They had it buried.