sometimes a divorce is a good thing

15 years ago

At least, that is how I am looking at this. Jerry and I are getting a divorce. Papers are signed. The "promised" house isn't going to be signed over to me after all. Guess, I have to wait for all to be final to get my share.

But, life goes on. Everything that sounds to good to be true usually turns out not to bee good.

That was my bad news last night. No house, when I return to Oklahoma.

Thank goodness for friends. That is how I will have a place to stay till all this is over.

No pity party, just facts. I truly believe, this is a good thing.

Moni

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Comments (84)

kacram
15 years ago
(((((((((((((Moni))))))))))))
I'm sorry that the promise didn't come true.
As some one said, you are the most adventurous
person I know, well you and my cousin! lol
I know you will make this a grand adventure,
who knows where it will lead you.
Yes, divorce and be a good thing, but it's also
a painful thing too, and a sad thing. But
you have so many friends, in person, and here, on
this board. You can call on any of us for support.

((((((Moni))))))))
lynn_d
15 years ago
Moni, if you are looking forward without tears then I will say congratulations on a new life and best of luck. You have a wonderful attitude and being surrounded by those who love you will and grant you support when you need it. Bless you, Moni, as you enter a new phase in your life.
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donna37
15 years ago
(((Moni)))
itsmesuzq
15 years ago
I am so shocked and saddened. As others have said, "Been there done that" and everyone's experience is unique to them. But we all have the same feelings of wishing things could have been different, but knowing that sometimes it just wasn't meant to be. Use your friends now, lean on them when you need it and remember we are all here for you. Its going to be tough but I believe I the best is yet to come.

Bless you Moni.

Susan
shea
15 years ago
I'm sorry you are going through this, Moni, and wish for only the best for you. There are better days ahead. (((Moni)))
Georgysmom
15 years ago
I was as shocked as everyone else. I thought maybe you were talking about a friend or another member of the family. Not having been divorced but listening to advice from a friend who has, I will pass on her words of wisdom......Settle as soon as possible because the longer you drag it out, the more money wasted on lawyers and the less generous your spouse becomes. Good luck to you and I hope your life will be happier.
socks
15 years ago
Your chin is up, you are working hard to have a good attitude. That's wonderful, but I know inside you are in emotional trauma. Best wishes for better times ahead.

Susan
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
I'm really sorry to hear this, Moni. Glad you have good friends you can count on.
linda_in_iowa
15 years ago
Moni, there is life after divorce. Once you get through all the pain, things will look up. My advice is to fight for what is rightfully yours. You are a strong woman. You can do it.
suzieque
15 years ago
Moni - I'm so sorry; I never picked up on anything like that from your posts. I just know that I respect you as an adventurous, strong, wonderful woman, and I've no doubt that that's how you'll go into this next phase of your life. Yes, it'll hurt and you'll cry, but you'll go on.

And stand up for what is owed you.

Suzieque
Jamie_LA
15 years ago
Sorry Moni, we're all here pulling for you.
sue_va
15 years ago
Moni, yes, this is a complete surprise.

There isn't much that I can say that hasn't already been said. I will add this, though.

yayagal said "the world is your oyster." Right. Now you can be the PEARL in that oyster.

Cry when you have to, laugh when you can.

I wish you peace in all things.

Sue
susanjf_gw
15 years ago
my aunt and uncle went thru it after 6 kids, and nearly 50 years of marriage...aunt went on to her own life and now at 92, living with dd2, who had made sure she has an art studio, and her own space...uncle has passed, but he too, found peace...

i do have to agree with suzieque...stand for your rights...
hayjud_mn
15 years ago
Moni,
I know this is the right direction for you. I'm just glad to know that you are a very strong and wise person, and can handle any situation.

I think you are a DIAMOND in the ruff, and the ruff is going the hurt for a while, but you will come out of this sparkling brighter then ever. Your happiness will show so much that we might have to tell you to stop smiling once in a while!

Never be shy about accepting help from friends. You have often helpped others and will have opportunity in the future. Others don't always know your needs, so always be willing to ask.

You know I am always here for you.
Hugs to you, my friend!
Mystical Manns
15 years ago
Moni, I'm sorry that you're going through this. Even when it's your idea, or when you totally agree with it ... divorce is still hard. It's the end of a dream, and it will be natural to mourn it (if you haven't already).

On the other hand, it's also a new beginning. Now you can live where you want, not hampered by Jerry's job. I remember this last move was difficult for you, so you now have an opportunity to get back to an area where you have established friendships.

I hope this turns out to be an exciting period of time for you, and that you find much happiness.

HUGS!!!
caroline94535
15 years ago
((((Moni))))
lindyluwho
15 years ago
So sorry to hear this, Moni. I know you will do great on your own though. Best wishes for a happy new life.

Linda
nycefarm_gw
15 years ago
When one door closes, another opens!
User
15 years ago
I'm sorry things didn't work out. No advice just hugs.

((((Moni))))
mariend
15 years ago
Just sending hugs for any decisions made. You will survive, day by day.
Marie
Jodi_SoCal
15 years ago
(((Moni))) Never caught even a hint that trouble was brewing at the OklaMoni household. I hope it all works out for the best. Take it one day at a time.

Jodi-
marry
15 years ago
(((Moni)))
I'm sorry.
chisue
15 years ago
I haven't been at the KT long enough to really 'know' you, but I, too, am surprised by this news -- not because I didn't wonder if you *had* a husband (from your posts), but because you seem to have such a full life aside from being a DW!

Live free, Moni!
Cherryfizz
15 years ago
(((Moni))) I hope you get your house.

Like Casey said sometimes divorce is a good thing. My brother left his wife after 40 years and I have never seen him so relaxed and happy and less on edge and my cousin just walked out on her wealthy husband to go live in a mobile home and she is so happy she did it you can hear it in her voice. Then there is one of my best friends who I wish would leave her husband but won't because he said he won't sell his share of the house and she can't lock him out.

I've never been married so I can only imagine the emotions involved in a decision to get a separation and divorce.

Thinking of you.

Anne
foggyj
15 years ago
So sorry to hear this, but yes, it will be a good thing, when all the logistics are worked out and you can get on with your life. ((( )))
margad
15 years ago
Moni I am so so sorry to hear this.Sending many good wishes
User
15 years ago
It may be a good thing but its still hard to go through. I am so sorry things didn't work out.
soxxxx
15 years ago
You will awaken one day and feel like you are a brand new person, the grief will have subsided, and you will want to try lots of new things.

I am so happy that you have family and friends to support you now.

I will put you in my prayers because a friend with a heavy heart is just as important as one with a physical illness.
rosemaryt
15 years ago
At a booksigning years ago, I met a woman who'd been divorced after a long-term marriage and she and I got to talking. She said, "If I'd known how awful divorce was, I would have been kinder to my friends who were going through it."

Point is, those post-divorce days can be tough, but they're also growing times, and personally, I learned more about myself during those five years in "the wilderness" than during any other period in my life.

I hope your tough days are few and far between.

Rose
neesie
15 years ago
I'm trying to remember what Tony Robbins says, and I'm just going to put it in my own words. It's something about feeling a tremendous amount of relief once you've made a decision. Because once you make the decision, you're committed to a result and you basically know which steps to take. It's about "getting off of the fence" and getting on with it.

Good luck travelling down this new road in life.
maymo
15 years ago
sounds like you have a plan with moving forward. wishing you well.
janie_ga
15 years ago
(((Moni)))
maddielee
15 years ago
I'm sorry. It may take a while but you will get through this storm and you will find clear skies....

ML
nanatricia
15 years ago
((((Moni)))
glenda_al
15 years ago
Moni, you have my support, and I know your decision is for the best. Hugs!
maire_cate
15 years ago
Dear, dear Moni. You've been a great friend to everyone here at the KT and we're all wishing the best for you. It's good to know that you believe it's a good thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with this but you have a positive outlook that will help you get through this to better days ahead. Sending hugs and hoping for the best.
katlan
15 years ago
I don't post often but wanted to tell you I wish you strength and courage through this. I'm very sorry this is happening to you.

Katlan
petaloid
15 years ago
Wow, Moni. This is not what I expected to hear.

I know that you will get through this challenging chapter in your life. When we met I experienced your positive outlook on life, and, believe me, you are even stronger than you realize.

(((Moni)))
jaybird
15 years ago
((Moni))
central Texas isn't too far away, and you will always be welcome!!
User
15 years ago
Sometimes divorce CAN be a good thing. That said, there will be difficult and lonely times but you sound like a really strong woman and will do just fine. Go with your heart.
oldgardener_2009
15 years ago
I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know you personally, but from what everyone else is saying, you're a strong person and you should do fine. Your strength will get you through it.

I went through a nasty divorce from a long-term marriage, and it is very painful. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, I can tell you that for sure. You have a bright and shiny new life ahead of you. Hugs.
mawheel
15 years ago
((((Moni)))) I want to add my hugs and caring thoughts to all the others. May God bless you and give you strenght to do what you have to do.
Mickey15
15 years ago
((((Moni))))
Tammy
kathi_mdgd
15 years ago
Moni,
I too am sorry to hear this,but i know you will make it through.I wish you well on the next phase of your life,like the others have said,you are a strong woman.

Wishing you the best of all things in the days ahead.((((((((((((((Moni))))))))))))))
Kathi
coral_ok
15 years ago
My DD is just a few months ahead of you, and already she's saying the divorce is a VERY GOOD thing. I have no worries that you'll be fine, Moni, but I just hate that you have to slog through all the crap to get there. (((((((((((Moni)))))))))))
Tally
15 years ago
Moni, I am so sorry to hear this. You may feel a little lost out there in the "wilderness" as Rosemary so aptly put it, but you have friends here to share your burdens with.

You are a strong woman. Keep your chin up, stay busy developing YOUR new life, and may the tough times be few and far between.
samkaren
15 years ago
Moni....((((HUGS))) remember..you always have the KTer's on your side. We are all here for you.

SamKaren
your resident DJ
gardenspice
15 years ago
Moni - I'm wishing you the best.
I hope that this decision brings you some peace and that you can start a new very happy chapter of your life soon.
Take good care!
summer_tx
15 years ago
Moni, I'm going to pull a YaYa and say, "read gardenspice's reply again and put my name to it." I do hope you will be welcoming a new chapter to your life and that you find peace and tranquility in your everyday life." My very best to you.
bunnylover21
15 years ago
I am so sorry Moni.

sometimes a divorce is a good thing

Comments (84)

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