This will be memorable because they will truly be surrounded t by the people who truly love and care for them. it won't be the stressed out day that most brides of large weddings experience. This IS a real wedding. Not an extravaganza that is less about the bride and groom than the event itself.

Congrats to the couple and good for them for doing it like this. Their way, not some stupid "wedding planner's way" or what others want for them. Very cool. They won't regret it. The memories will take care of themselves. Who could want more? Family to witness the event and celebrate with.

At 28, she's not a kid. I'd step back, offer my help (but ONLY if she ASKS for it) and let the 2 of them plan the event that's meaningful to THEM. If they forget to include something? You know what that means? It wasn't all that important to them in the first place.

I've been to a number of rather non-traditional weddings lately, and they've been all the more special because they WEREN'T like every other wedding I've attended over the years.

As the mother of a single 30-year old DD, I believe that at that age, it's up to them to make their event what they want it to be. It's not like the old days when a wedding was given by the parents, and Mom and Dad got to (had to) run the show.

Relax, sit back and breathe--you don't have to worry about this one so enjoy!

My daughter got married at 28. She knew what she wanted, and dad offered 5000.00 bucks towards the wedding.

All went off without a hitch. All I did, is things she asked me to do.

Such as the hand stitching on the wedding gown, veil, brides maids dresses. I picked up a cake for the rehearsal too.

But, then I instigated decorating the vehicle that drove her to church (as a surprise for her). It's a custom in the area I grew up in.

She loved it.

To bad, I don't have those pictures on my puter... or I would show you.

Moni

It sounds like a beautiful wedding and they have plenty of time to plan. I commend them for being sensible and making it their wedding instead an "event". I wish them the best!

My ex, and our friend Mel decorated, while I helped the bride in to her gown.

DS and DDIL got married 9 years ago tomorrow......her family lives in Japan and we live in California. So they decided to get married in Hawaii. There were 15 people, including them, at the wedding which was at the beach and then the dinner was at a very nice hotel on the other side of the island. They, along with a wedding planner, did it all and it was a perfect wedding.
I know your DD's wedding will be wonderful. She will ask if she needs help......and if she and her intended forget something, it will be all the more memorable.

Stop. There is nothing that can go wrong when you bring your love and support. It appears they will love you even more if you let them take care of it.

I went to a wedding where the minister turned to the father of the bride and asked if he takes (his daughter) to be his lawfully wedded wife. I whispered to the mother who sat next to me if that was legal in this state. She suddenly froze in horror and the father, who should not have been up there, was like a statue at the alter. It was hysterical. I went up to the alter and turned the minister around to the groom and led the father down to his seat. Best time ever.

Don't know if this helped or not but keep a sense of humor on the joyous day .Amen

Make sure the licenses are in order. No less than 4 people asked my best friend about not forgetting her shoes, but she and the groom thought the officiant would bring the license! She had no idea they had to go somewhere and apply. Make sure they have that all in order at least a week before. Happy wedding!

Robert and I had a very small wedding in a lovely antebellum inn in Beaufort, SC. The one little detail that everyone said was special was the classic guitarist who played quietly off to the side... and continued while I made an entrance (by myself) down the stairway.

Our musician picked up again, in livelier tunes after we kissed. It truly made the event so special and so much more intimate.

I'd have some special glasses for a champagne toast; that might make it seem more personal.

Which Finger Lake? All of them are lovely; I grew up very near Skaneateles but have visited them all at one time or another.

Well, usually the two fathers make a toast at the reception, so I would spend some time developing some sweet and meaningful thoughts or reminiscenses.

This will not be the usual reception after the wedding, but still she may want to have a father-bride and mother-groom dance if that works at the restaurant they have chosen. We simplified it all and our bride started the dance with her father, and half way through the song, the groom waltzed his mother onto the dance floor to join them. Perhaps with such a small gathering, no dancing will occur or be desired.

I also think it is nice to present the bride with a special family memento for her wedding day. My mother wore the family wedding crucifix necklace that everyone in her family had worn for generations. My sister more sensibly had it woven into her bouquet as it was huge and not very attractive. We gave our daughter a family diamond which we had set in a simple lavilere for her to wear on her wedding day.

I would be sure that the table is set with a pretty floral arrangement, but one that is not going to block the guests ability to see each other and to chat because it is too tall.

Prior to the wedding, perhaps even the week before, the bride might want to have some professional studio shots taken of her so that the parents and groom can have a photographic memento to frame. This is the kind of thing one does not particularly value at the time, but becomes so special to have after some years have passed.

I do think your daughter has decided she really does not want a wedding with all the frou-frou, so do be careful and discuss this with her. Attitude is everything.

Congratulations, Mom!

Sounds very much like my own wedding: Twelve people total, ceremony in Fifth Avenue Presbyterian church, cocktails at our apartment down the block, then dinner at a French restaurant. I wouldn't worry about it being "real" or memorable. It will be both.

Good suggestions above.

Congratulations!!

I've just gone through one sons wedding in June and now in the midst of planning son #two wedding next June. From my own experiences so far I have found that input and suggestions are not always welcome and as much as we (parents) want to help with the planning, we have to be very careful not step on the bride or groom's toes. More than ever grooms are playing a bigger part in the planning process, so make sure his voice is also heard. It doesn't matter if the event is big or small, tension can run high.

It was so refreshing to read your post...I love to hear about brides that want small weddings instead of these big orchestred events...I'm a coordinator at our church and 1 of the last weddings I did was small and perfect...The one before was a "production" with photographers tripping over each other, the bride having too many different ideas and no one knowing just what to do....To me, it was a mess and I sometimes wonder, how long will this last.....

Congrats to the couple and best wishes for a long and happy marriage.....

My DD is getting married in Ireland in May, with only 10 people, including her and the groom. She is having her wedding in a tiny rural church and the 'reception' in a local Irish pub. She has already arranged her flowers, a singer for the ceremony, a car, and small wedding cake. The only thing extra I am doing is bringing some white and silver balloons for her brother to tie onto the wedding car and I plan to order a gift basket for their wedding night hotel room which will have champagne, chocolates and some scented candles as I know her and her fiance love those items.

Thank you all! I too think that this small intimate wedding will be wonderful. This DD has shied away from attention all her life and I am proud that she is doing exactly what she wants.

Fist - Rizo- the location is on Skaneateles Lake -the Sherwood Inn. They found it "by accident" when they were first dating & fell in love with it.

And thank you to all who said "stop", "back off" etc - I just want to make sure my DD & her fiance have a great wedding.

I really like some of the suggestions - - a checklist may be the best thing I can do. She wants to have someone do her hair & make up, and my younger DD is the Maid of Honor & will probably want the same. They were thinking no photographer but I mentioned it & they agree. I also mentioned music - they hadn't thought of that either. There won't be a reception so to speak, so no father-daughter dance or else to think about. She is thinking about flowers & I am thinking about a gift to remember the event - perhaps an engraved wineglass for everyone, or an engraved frame. I also really like the idea of a gift basket for their wedding night room, which will be at the Sherwood Inn. I don't think there will be a need for a car.

Thanks again to all - we all want the best for our kids, right?

I think a small wedding is so perfect. Just the people you really love/care about! Very special.

What Juellie said!
I just cringe when I see these pageants. I attended a wedding last Spring in which the bride wore two different dresses - one for the weeding and part of the receiption, then another for later in the reception. Maybe that's the norm now, but it sure seemed over the top.
Enjoy your daughter's special day!

My sister just got married in May of this year and it was a small beautiful wedding. 25 people attended. Everything was beautiful. I think with a small wedding it is more about the marriage and not so much about the wedding. They were both at ease, no stress about impressing people that they aren't really close to. They were surrounded by immediate family and close friends. You could just feel the love in the room and the laughter and the happy tears were enough to give you goose bumps.

I guess I'm kind of old school, I just can't see spending enough money to buy a house on a wedding.

Congrat to your DD!