Wow...do you really buy more than one gift?

We do one gift per person.

My MIL buys just 1 gift per child or grandchild (she has 4 children and 10 grandchildren, plus a few DGG). She spends only about $20. on each grandchild and usually a bit more on her children.

My Mom only has 2 kids and 4 grandkids and she overbuys.. sometimes giving as many as 8 gifts per person.

I don't have any ideas to help you really, but the kids at my MIL's seem to have as much fun as the ones at my Moms. Maybe give just 1 gift and then have games for the grandkids to play to win an extra gift (a game or gift card that any could use).

how about "family" gift cards with a set amount-say $50. to a good restaurant or a theater
OR
What we used to do as a family is a Kris Kringle....where EVERYONE buys/supplies a gift worth a set amount that is unisex.
Set the amount @ $20. maybe.

Then,there are numbers drawn the day of opening,and you get to pick your number or switch off with someone else for their gift...either way,its fun and everyone goes home with something

DH & I don't do family Christmas gifts any more. The family has grown beyond our means, besides its too hard to get out to shop. In the last years that we did do gifts, mobility was already difficult, so we bought magazine subscriptions to match each persons interest. Dottie

We normally give one gift per person (or couple)--that's more than enough. And they're not expensive gifts--usually more thought than money goes into them.

I'm giving 'family' gifts this year, and they're going to be homemade things. Will probably do a 'basket' type gift including some of my baked goods/candy, and I've already started making quilted checker or backgammon boards for everyone.

We draw names for the adults. We draw as couples so one year we buy for my sister and her husband, the next may be my other sister and her husband, etc. We have a $50.00 limit on the couples. Then we all buy for the kids. We limit it to one gift per child.

Our Christmas is a combination of Family and Friends. Even my XHub and his Wife at my Daughter's House. We each buy a "Christmas Ornament" and play "White Elephant", where someone trys to steal your gift.

Gayle

Badly

Don't do any with DH's family, since we moved they seem to lost contact. Guess ND is too far==but anyway, we ask the our married kids what they want, and for the grandkids, we ask, as we can get the winter stuff here better, but add gift cards. Baby stuff, we ask the parents. But then we do have good communication with our own kids/grandkids.

If we see brother, sister, or other family members except our daughters, we give them presents at Christmas.

Our daughters, we send them presents, even if we don't see them.

I even give little home made gifts to friends, if they come over. But mostly, we agree with all our friends, and don't do a gift exchange. A plate of cookies, or a loaf of banana bread is exempt from this. :)

Moni

When everyone shows up we have 21 people. None of us can afford to buy gifts for all of them. So we started a new tradition. Christmas Eve, we all get together for a cookie exchange and potluck. It's so much fun to see what the younger adults bring (home baked - NOT!). And we have a lovely visit since this is about the only time during the year that we are ALL together. I don't know what my siblings do for Christmas Day, but my Christmas morning is spent with my husband, mother, children and grandchildren, and they are the ones I buy gifts for. That makes a group of 7 (including me). That's doable.

It has become a hassle here, I'm afraid; I've been buying for all the grands (13) and now their spouses, plus my kids(7)and their spouses!!! Last year I gave mostly gift cards and it was really great for me, at least. Of course,I got way more than I needed, but they are tending to give me disposeable stuff and things for gardening. How do I quit giving for so many???

Many of us give to the kids and small gifts to each other. Its the family dinner and getting together. Maybe with the economy being so hard this year it might be an 'opportunity' to open the discussion of a more reasonable gift exchange where things have gotten out of hand...we're guilty here too at times. It's more understandable with this financial crisis and I bet you are not alone feeling this way about the gift giving. At some point things catch up and maybe the old family values will get to really shine through again?

We used to exchange names with my siblings, their spouses and kids. But even that got to be a hassle so now we exchange Christmas cards and usually call one another.

Phyllis, I can see how that can easily snowball when the GK's start getting married and having families. We don't have nearly the amount that you have, and I'm already trying to think about how to cut back some. One thing you could do is one gift card (preferably for a restaurant) per couple, and if you're close enough, a hand-made gift card for "free babysitting" to go with it. The magazine subscription Dotmom posted about is a really good idea, also.

With the economy the way it is, we all have to start thinking more practically. Like it or not!

We have always overdone buying for Christmas and loved doing it. We have only 2 children and their spouses, 6 grandchildren. Last year they all wanted money except for the 3 youngest grandchildren. This year the amount of money we give the will be cut in half. We will buy presents for the 3 youngest. We spent over $1,200 last year but don't intend to this year. We have lost sooooo much money in the past few months.

Oh, I forgot....we also still do the Dirty Santa, which is a real fun part of our celebration.

I'm in a unique position but still people can apply the theory. To make a long story short, friends and family realized long ago that buying for everyone is 1) expensive; 2) impractical; and 3) accumulating a lot of stuff that nobody needs. I despise trinket gifts for the sake of giving. I'd rather not get something than get something I have to throw away because I don't have room for it, can't use it, won't use it, don't want around or whatever. What we do now is enjoy Christmas for the holiday. Get together for snacks, a meal, drinks or whatever and share good times. If I see something during the year that my sister needs, I'll get it for her. And vice-versa. For instance I was too cheap to buy a new recliner and as much as I use it, it really would have been worthwhile. Well, she bought me a recliner. I bought her a computer that she so desperately needed replacing. Now we don't always spend that much. This year I'm getting her a leaf blower/shop vac if I find the one she wants. Or sometimes it might just be something small like a couple sets of dryer balls and I said it was from the cats!

I don't like the commercialism of the holidays. Christmas stuff is already in full boar at Target I see. But since we have adopted the new philosophy, I'm beginning to really enjoy Christmas again. I put up a tree last year! A little fake one but it's the first tree I've had up in probably 20 years. After being in retail so much it really takes the spirit out of you, along with a family of jerks! LOL.

One gift per person on one side of the family.
On the other side it's a larger family so we draw names and give one gift total with a 10 dollar limit. Last year I gave a 10 dollar bill to my BIL, Stan. He gave it to his BIL, Larry. Larry gave it back to me. It was truly a thing of beauty.

Ron

Phyllis, What is dirty santa?

The grandchildren should be getting Santa gifts or gifts from their parents and don't need 4 or 5 gifts from you. I buy my 4 grandchildren a small gift and give them each a check. I allot the same amount of spending money for each of my daughters, so they either get one large gift or several small gifts, depending on what I buy. The two sons-in-law each get a gift.

There is my dd and 2 step dd and 2 step ds along with their spouses. There are 10 grandkids and Anna who we adopted. She is legally our daughter, but was our niece most of her life and it's more comfortable for her to refer to us as Aunt and Uncle. She is the one we spend the most on. We give money to all kids, spouses and Grand kids. $20 for each grandkid and $50 per kid and their spouse. The kids mostly like new CDs or DVDs or computer games. I can't keep up with who has what so money is the solution, although I do try to give it to them in a creative way.
For my mom and step dad, well, I usually give them practical gifts if I know something they want or need.

Linda

My family have never bought for brothers and sisters although I do buy for one sister who is struggling financially on her own. Other years I give her money - one year it was about $200 in gold coins in a small treasure chest which she loved. Now I am on my own I can afford less but do what I can. I buy for my son and daughter-in-law and 4 grandchildren, often something the parents have suggested. 3 of my grandchildren have birthdays within 3 weeks of Christmas so I have to budget ahead for this time. My son's widow seems to have stopped buying for my birthdays etc so I don't embarrass her and her very nice new partner by buying unless I am seeing them on the day and then it is something they can both use. We all keep it fairly simple and stress-free.

We fecided that this year we would not exchange gifts. It will be strange but postage is getting very high and everyone has everything they want or need. I am making each family an afghan. DGD is 16 now so she really likes the check in the Christmas card. DGS likes the check too.

I was just thinking about this today, we have always gone way overboard with everyone, times have changed for most people and we have had several unexpected huge expenses, I thought about telling everyone children only, then I caught myself looking at sweaters in a catalog thinking "That would be perfect for "so & so", then the phone rang and it was "them", we were dividing my nephew's funeral expenses....kind of put things in perspective.
I think we will spoil the children and the adults will be thankful to have each other and the children. I will try and do a getaway for DH and myself after dealing with everything lately.

we've had a set amount for years...but like everyone else i'm afraid that might change...we have 4 kids 4 spouses, and 7 grands...(about $1150 we've spent in the past)

ds2 and dil have already informed us they're not buying gifts this year...they are donating a certain amount to a needy family...

Our family isn't very large and our 3 kids and all their cousins are all in their 20's or older. Luckily my 2 sisters in law and I decided many years ago that we would stop exchanging gifts when the kids hit 18. It is much easier that way.

Tell your children that you need to tone down the holiday rush and then ask them for ideas for the grandchildren. Let them know that you have a set dollar amount that you are willing to spend and then it's up to you to stick to it.

For the past few years, except for children, we have all decided to contribute to whatever level we can afford to a non-political cause we thought they would be interested in. For the only child in the mix -- my DH's nephew, I just get him a few age-appropriate cool gifts that do not encourage couch potato activity. Thank goodness at this early age (8), he's already into competitive skateboarding -- at least he'll be outside and moving instead of playing video games. For the only other youngish recipient (18, just off to college), I think I'll get her a gift card to Target, since I have no idea what she needs after moving away to college.

When the kids were young they got three gifts each then their Santa gift and stockings. Now they get about $50 worth of gift (usually one gift) or as a couple $100. Depending on what they have asked for. Two are married one is single, no significant other (yes if they had a bf or gf we spent that much also, I wanted them to feel special also). Same amount is given to DGD..only one grand child, so sometimes I don't stick to that. I do buy clearance stuff through out the year that she also gets, so it's probably more like $100 for her, but it equals TONS of gifts. We also include donations to church and giving tree gifts. Each child has a stocking...we use to fill it, now each child has to give for the others ($5 or so gift, nothing big), and I give each kid an ornament that signifies something about that year or themselves. Example, this year DS will get an ornament of a door with their house number on it (they bought their first house. DD#1 gets a the Bride and Groom as she was married. DD#2 gets a Santa with a fire helmet (Her apartment burned down). Still working on other ornaments. My siblings get nothing, My Dad and step-mom haven't decided. This year DH's siblings (who usually get nothing) will get a family picture (taken an DD#1's wedding, first time in YEARS to get that many family members together). We get for my nephew, he's still under 18, but that's the cut-off. We'll have to decide after that what to do. It's hard, but we're honest with the kids, and try to be creative. I've always wanted to celebrate Christmas AFTER the day, and see who can get the best deal...the kids say that's not fair. DD#2 is the BEST shopper and will put the others to shame!

Vickey-MN

I am so appreciate of your ideas!

Oh, the other thing I forgot about is giving foodstuffs. Especially homemade. Adults often appreciate homemade cookies, well hey, kids do too! And one way is just plain drop adults from the gift list. After all, Christmas gifts, like Trix, are for kids! :) Now don't everyone line up and say they're kids!! :)

I've also occasionally made a batch of something unusual or special that usually goes over well, something like AnnT's Graham Chewies or something, and include the recipe in with it. Or put together a mini cookbook of favorite recipes. Or a booklet of household hints and tips for people just getting a house or starting out, or basic things on balancing a checkbook, personal security and safety, etc for someone getting their first apartment. Maybe a booklet on what to do if you get in an accident, maintenance tips for someone getting their first car?

Gifts should come from the heart, not necessarily Macy's. Trinkets just don't mean much and can really be an insult. A gift with some thought behind it means a lot. After all, giving your time as a gift is a sacrifice since it's something you don't get back.

Hi Ottertail.
You've gotten some nice ideas so far.
Last year everyone got a homemade cookie platter from me.

This year I will be giving books and magazine subscriptions.

Cream

Linda (mscsippy), I noticed you like to be creative when giving cash. Have you ever given Bilz Boxes? We had soooo much fun when we did that. They're not cheap, but worth a whole morning of laughs while they're trying to get to the thing opened!

If you're interested, Google it. You can use it for cash, a check, gift cards, concert tickets, etc. They sure are fun.

I'd like to know some of your ideas, too. I've also given each of them a small picture frame with Ben Franklin's picture showing, trinket boxes, etc. I'm running out of ideas!

The family giving is not where I want it.

I like to give consumables unless its someone who really needs something. I sometimes make beef jerky and dehydrate fresh apples. My family likes homemade peanut patties like we used to buy at the store. I'd like to find some local pecans so I could make fresh cinnamon sugar pecans. If I buy something, it'll be nice candles or a big bucket of popcorn.

My side we buy a generic man/woman gift no more than $20. We then play a game. On my DH's side, we just bring a bunch of little food gifts or some other type of small gift and then we play games. We do this for the kids and adults. We spend maybe $5 per gift, tops. One kid has a birthday on Christmas and so we give her gifts and have a birthday celebration. It makes her day special without having to "share" her day too much. The other kids have their birthdays throughout the year.

patti43,
I love the Bilz Box idea. Thanks!