Haven't bought the family gifts in years. We do buy for the little ones still. Everyone was fine with it. Saved them money too! Good for you.

Yes, I forgot to say I do always send little gifts to kids, which this year includes my niece's three and nephew's one (illegitimate) children. And I will never stop sending Christmas cards or decorating my home.

I think you just inspired me to do the same thing. I've wanted to for a long time. No matter how many times I have told my friends not to give me anything, they still do. A few of them, I haven't given a gift to back to them. I feel really chinsey,(made-up word) doing that, but I don't have the $ to spend on needless gifts, to people who don't need a thing. Maybe I'll stick to my guns this year.

I really miss going out and buying meaningless gifts
for family and doing so during the year Chritmas just isn't chritmas anymore
the way it used to be. Still spiritual but no fun anymore I really miss it.

My friends and I stopped exchanging gifts, instead we do a special holiday lunch. I sure wish I could minimize the gift giving with my family. I suggested the "pick a name" idea, but no one was willing. I always put alot of thought into my gift giving, but I'm at a point where I am out of ideas.

Here is an idea, it is a drawing, but not the normal kind. My husband and I hosted a Christmas party every year and bought gag gifts some as cheap as $2. We bought enough for everyone, put their names in a bowl. The first name drawn got first choice of the wrapped gifts, we kept drawing until everyone had a gift. We still bought a gift for the little kiddies and a check for the older kids under 18. We spent less than $50. on the gag gifts. I also missed the gift buying but with all our siblings and their kids it was just to much. Everyone loved the drawing and it was the first thing mentioned when each family came in. "Are we having the drawing"?"

Some people are giving to a church missionary program, favorite charity, local event charity instead of cards and gifts. Hope the letter works out for you and your family. Since we have not exchanged gifts forever with aunts/uncles/nieces/nephews we don't have that problem, but we did and yes there were times we felt that our gifts were not accepted in the spirit they were given, and our kids did receive not the most appropriate gifts.

We stopped it several years ago.We only buy for the little ones the great grands,and younger grands.Also my friends and i stopped about 9 years ago at my suggestion and they were all as happy about it as i was.We grownups have what we need and want and don't need anything else to dust.We do try and get together around the holidays for lunch,and there again,nothing expensive.
Kathi

Good for you! The first time you have a "No Gifts Christmas" may seem strange....but, the ones that follow are more meaningful, I promise. It's great getting together without the worry or expecations about 'gifts'.

ML

I get the great-grandmother a piece of jewelry from the grandkids and the grandkids get gift cards - everyone else just gets a card - it's been this way for many years.

"my niece's three and nephew's one (illegitimate) children."

A bigger gift might be for you to accept that no child is "illegitimate".

ML

Two years I suggested to my family that we stop exchanging gifts for Christmas and birthdays. They all liked the idea, and so we started, along with dinner, doing the Dirty Santa thing for Christmas, which is a lot of fun, and still get together with a dinner for birthdays. There are only two youngsters now, one 9 and one 16, and they like it also. For their birthdays though, until they each are 18, they get birthday gifts, which is $$.

I have to admit, even though it was my idea, I kinda miss all those presents! I don't miss trying to decide what to give though.

Sue

We have 3 grown children and 3 grandchildren that we send money to as a gift to buy what they like, not something I would pick out and they may not care for. It's not a lot but that's all we can afford. DH & I do not buy each other gifts either.....

Good luck. I tried this a few years ago. One side has respected my wishes but also cut us out of the holiday gathering to boot. We are the only family that has to travel, but we are never asked when it would work for us to get together..in town situations take presidence. The other side decided after a year to ignore my letter and go directly to my kids. "Cousins" to cousins, mom you need to be involved..only the cousins do not respond to e-mail, answer cell phones blah blah blah. So we are once again shooting in the dark. I hope your letter is better received.

It's such a problem, isn't it? Except for when the kids were little, I have always found Christmas shopping a terrible burden. Walking the malls, looking at the tons of sweaters and $50 doo-dads which they call "stocking stuffers." Basically, none of us needs anything anyway.

I always wanted to gift to the charity of choice rather than buy actual gifts, but that will never fly. Although once someone gave me "goats" through the Heifer organization. I loved it.

I'm somewhat of a Scrooge.

It's great! I opted out of it years and years ago. Much of the family snobs don't like it but I don't care. When I would shop for people, I put a LOT of thought and effort into the gift. I planned for the year on what to get, paid attention to what they needed and wanted and looked for the "perfect" gift. Then they'd go, aw, you can always use another flashlight!

Plus the family (friends too for that matter) has changed a lot over the last decade. The kids I used to buy for are now in their 20s. Godmother, aunts, uncles, father and some close friends have died. Some others showed their colors during the estate handling so I don't want anything to do with them (or from them) anyway. And more variables.

Years ago my sister and I were both in a tough financial situation at the time and I told her hey, it's silly for both of us, to bother with the gift thing. We both were trying to declutter and didn't need trinkets and more unwanted junk around. So I told her to get herself something and consider it was from me and I'd get myself something and consider it from her. Strange, but it worked. Then we worked within our budget. I think we both chose a food we liked or something, maybe it was we wanted the electric bill paid on time! LOL Since then and since finances have come around for both of us we're still practical and frugal. I started giving gift during the year rather than birthday or Christmas. I just gave her a printer/scanner/copier for her "birthday" present. She needed one badly, wouldn't spend the money on herself and I got it on clearance for a great price! We also often will take the other out to eat for a present. Could just be a spur of the moment thing or a planned out deal. We're both far happier.

With others, similar things. I might get them something on occasion or they for me, but we avoid the holiday markups, junk, crowds, hassles and more. That's a bigger gift AFAIC.

Often a call or a visit, an invitation to come to dinner, or watch TV or just chat, help with a project or something like this is a far more meaningful gift than a gift certificate for bunion removal (especially to the amputee!)

We buy for the younger kids only and even they are getting tougher to buy for. Last year I started getting the Christmas gifts for the whole family of kids. I get games or something that I know they woudn't get individually but all together, I can afford it. Last year I got the family with all boys barn I got at a craft sale. I knew that only the youngest boy would like it but the mother said not to worry because they were getting "family" gifts that the older kids would like. Anyway, I decided that this year I'm getting a combined gift for the boys again but I may get the little guy sometime on his own.

As far as the adults, we gets small gifts and play various games. We make sure that everyone has a gift at the end. I can say we all usually end up getting food of some type.

Our family stopped giving gifts several years ago. We do give gifts to the little ones though. I love it.

When we all gave gifts to everyone in the family, it was just ridiculous. There were so many gifts there wasn't any place to walk between them all and it took hours to open them all. By the time we were done opening gifts, everyone was bored and looking at their watches.

Not to mention, it was very, very expensive! And most of the gifts were returned to the store.

Now we draw names at Thanksgiving and each adult buys only for one other adult. I am thankful for that and hope no one decides they want to go back to the way we used to do it.

We made that announcement several years ago to both families, I only now buy for my 2 sisters and my Mother and my husband buys for his Mom. The families were just getting too large to try to buy for everyone this way they buy for their own family and that is all. Of course some of them break the rules!

As for our family we send one check to my husbands son as a family gift and let them decide how to spend it or split it up, works great and they are happy doing it that way and the kids end up with what they wanted, much easier than trying to buy for each child get it right and get it shipped. If they lived near by it would probably be different.

I quit exchanging with both family and friends more than 20 years ago. What a relief!

I have a huge family - 7 siblings, all married, most with multiple children. A reasonable Christmas budget way back then (i.e., getting a gift someone would actually want) was enormous. I quit.

I give gifts to my DH and DS, and to my parents. The sibs and their children are on their own. And friends - just say no. No one needs all those gifts. They're meaningless.

I also refuse to participate in those gag gift exchanges - gads! what a waste of resources! Buying stupid gifts someone is absolutely going to throw away? Again, just no.

About 15 years ago we told my husbands family we are not going to buy gifts anymore. They still buy for us but I dont care, I will never start it again. After going through my parents things after they both passed away within the last 3 years, it made me sick to see how much stuff my siblings gave to them and a lot of it was still in the packages and a lot of it was never used. They had told us for years they never wanted anything but of course there were those who thought they still had to buy them something. All it does is make the companies richer and me poorer and for what. NO THANK YOU. I dont even buy my grandchildren anything. They live out of state and when we go to visit I spend money on things I see they need, but not more toys and stuffed animals. Its not like they dont have enough of them already and besides that my daughter does not have room for all of that stuff.

Two years ago we decided on no presents and decided to take a family trip to NYC instead. It was the best Christmas I have ever had. Been back to NYC twice since then. It was completely relaxing not having to deal with a big meal, presents, or family you only see on the holidays. We are thinking of taking a trip this year too. Last year we only did stocking stuffer type gifts as my dad was laid off and out of a job. Still did not not need the stocking stuffer crapola. Just a cheaper version of the regular presents. My wife and I both enjoyed the trip idea better.

We started this a few years ago and it was at first a little disconcerting, but now I love it. DD suggested it. We are not a big family. Husband and I have no siblings and we only have two kids who each have one. But it was ridiculous the amount of packages. Then we chose to go to two items per person. DD and I cheated and boxed outfits to count as one. Finally we plain stopped. I just buy for the two grandkids. College GD is easy..just clothes from AE or Hollister but 12 year old GS is getting hard. I only exchange with one friend, and it's a small gift. I am desperately ready to downsize big time and don't want more stuff...I also gave up a huge live tree as I had for decades. We go to DD's house and few see my tree . It took me so long to decorate and undecorate, that was a huge relief too. I sound like a Scrooge, but I still do decorate.

with 8 grands and the oldest only 11 we're on the gift parade, here...but i have a set amount to spend and rarely go over..dh HATES it but last year 2 of the 4 adult kids requested gift certs...(one for sherwin williams lol, and one for sears) he thinks that scruge is in my heart, lol...told him what was i supposed to do, buy cans of paint??? let alone wrap them??? and btw guess who does all or most of the shoppping??