When we applied for our mortgage 25 years ago, the company (stress this was a mortgage company, not a regular savings bank)was pulling this same stuff on us. We had a rate locked to a certain date, and they dragged it out , asking for more and more stuff from us, like old tax returns, termite inspections on the house, anything to delay it. We sent a cc letter to them and to our state's attorney general, and finally got a decent rate offer. But it was still a little higher than the original rate we had signed for. I can't believe companies are pulling this same old *carp* 25 years later!!!

I agree with other posters who made the important distinction between a performance versus an activity. A school carnival is the equivalent of going to a movie or the mall, and even though the parent whose day it isn't would like to go, they are barging in on the other parent's time with the kid! That said...this is a "do as I say and not as I do" thing for our house, because even though my ex and I always divided things up like that, BM would have none of that, and we gave in. It is such a relief to have both SDs out of high school so there are fewer of those events where it was her, DH and me hanging around, sometimes all day, with the SDs, or even in events where the kids didn't really stay with the parents. And she wanted it that way on her time, too. She would always call DH to invite him to church events or things at her golf club, places we weren't even involved with. He would always say no; eventually she figured out that if she invited both of us, we were more likely to come. Which was true, but we really didn't want to do those things with her, where the three of us (or sometimes her DH too) had to socialize for long periods of time. The funny thing is, in desperation DH and I tried a tactic where I would go without him if it was something on our time and DH couldn't go. At first BM was mad (she chewed him out once in front of the girls) but then it seemed fine with her--DH called me her "new best friend." It was just so uncomfortable and I am so happy it is pretty much over. I feel like a newlywed.

I'm not sure setting up a public facebook account...telling the public you are at home and very sick is the best idea. If you are sure to set up the page as private, I guess it couldnt' hurt. But, I think most of your helpers (elderly people who are retired) may not have facebook pages anyway. Unless you have a very close relative who can take off weeks to be with you, I don't think you are going to be able to coordinate volunteers to always be with you. People just don't have the time. I have a good friend on bedrest for a pregnancy, and to even get people over there everyday for a couple hours is hard. You probably need to come up with a different solution if you have to have someone there with you constantly.. I would think you may have to hire a nurse, or helper of some sort. Good luck.

chisue, Facebook is a place to help keep in contact with the friends and family that you know. It's kind of the like here except the people that are your friends you may "physically" know a little better (old classmates, co-workers, cousins you don't see often). You can post info that's a little more personal than you may see here because you have real relationships with the people and aren't afraid of strangers and of people you don't like posting... It gives you more control. For all the negatives people say, it really has some remarkable offerings... I wouldn't generally see picture of my nieces and nephews on their first day of school or in their halloween costumes, I wouldn't necesarily find out that my friend from high school is pregnant, or that my old co-worker's husband has cancer. My grade school wouldn't have had a reunion so highly attended and fun. I feel like I have reunited and furthered so many relationships with many of the people that otherwise would have had no part in my life. It's great for people who are going through stages of their lives where they may not have time to go out to dinner often, or call all their friends to catch up. You feel a little more connected to your friends. It's kind of nice (and a great time saver) to be able to tell everyone (and be able to post a picture) about your new dog without having to call everyone individually that you would like to tell. I do some volunteer work and I'm able to inform people of events, etc.. via facebook too... It makes it easy and a little more personal. Like I said...it's kind of like here...but it's only with people you know and choose to have a relationship with. If you don't have a lot friends or family that you want to hear from or keep in touch with, (or you're able to keep in touch with all of them as much as you'd like through phone, etc), or, you're older and there aren't many of your friends on Facebook...then it may not be for you. I enjoy hearing from my friends...even when they are going for coffee or to an expensive rock concert or bragging about their kid getting into Harvard...but they're my friends; I really do like hearing from and about their lives.... Plus... you can scroll through stuff that bores you (Actually, you can turn the games and the people completely off if you don't want to hear from them)... You can probably tell, I enjoy it (and, no I don't do Farmville or play games!)