I know there are gov't regulations here in BC Canada that only allow burial on "land designated as a place of interment". Falls under "consumer protection" guidelines. While I prefer limited gov't intervention in my life there are obvious reasons for this. It's apparently OK to scatter cremains anywhere with the land owner's permission as they are not a "health hazard". I've told DH to dump my ashes in the compost. He has a bizarre sense of humor so said I can just flush his. *rolleyes* You're not getting that wish, Honey!

Your eye follows the flawless symmetry of a living historic landmark up its tall crown, only to find a sort of nipple at the very top, where someone climbed all the way up there to deface and deform (top) the tree at some point and it has been growing a replacement top for some years.

Neither my wife nor I have prepaid funeral arrangements for a couple of reasons. There is a danger that the arrangements won't be homored should we live 10 yrs or more after purchashing the arrangement. Locally, there were several cases of that happening. The ownership of a cemetery had changed since a person pre-purchased a funeral and burial arrangement. The new owner would not honor the old agreement saying that it was with the former owner, not him, and that when he purchased the cemetery, none of there pre-agreements were included, therefore, the problem lies with the seller - go chase him down. Admitedly, this was a weak argument, but it would have required the services of an expensive lawyer to fight. The cost difference of the original purchase was smaller than the current going rate. The new owner did offer to provide the services if they would pay the difference between the two prices. The second reason is that we can not predict where we might die. In our religion, we are supposed to bury the body within one hour journey from the place of death. (This eliminates the cost of the unnecessary expense of carting a body all over the globe.) If I died in a auto accident 3000 miles from home, I would not be able to use a prepaid burial plot. Both my wife and I have instructed each other to use the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principle. [My wife told me that if I spent too much on her funeral, that she would come back to haunt me. I replied, "Really. Is that a promise? That gives me an idea. I want you back." LOL Embalming is not a requirement in many places if the body is buried soon enough after death. But it may be in a closed casket for practical reasons. Long ago, it was decided that the next of kin should view the body before burial to verify identification. This need not be a public viewing. My only wish is to be returned to the ground from whence my body came from. I do have some advice about my grave stone should the surviving family decide to place one. If you are going to set a stone, do it right. This advice comes from my genealogical experience in researching my and my wife's families and walking many cemeteries. 1. No limestone. It weathers too much. A stone 100 yrs old starts to be unreadable. Use durable materials such as granite or slate. A bronze plaque is very durable, also. 2. Have the nomenclature deeply cut. Including a verse or saying is a nice touch, but the characters are often too samll to be of value after 50 yrs or more. I recommend against it, but if one must, apply a short saying with as large of characters as possible. 3. Many cementeries these days require grave markers to be laid flush with the ground level for grass mowing and ease of maintence. Be aware the a flush marker will be trod on by mowing equipment. Plan the stone with this in mind. 4. If the survivors place a conventional, vertical, headstone, do it right. It should be in three section: 1) a flat base for a foundation, 2) a pedalstal stone that is several inches wider and longer than the headstone, and 3) finally the headstone resting on the pedalstal. The pedastal protects the main stone from maintence equipment. It takes the knocks and dings that will occur. The foundation stone provides a grass free border and eases the mowing chore. Now, what we haven't done is to discuss with our children, put the results in writing, send a copy to each child, and store a copy with our wills. That we should do. That would simplify funeral arrangements and head off arguments in a time of family berevement. Both of my wife's parents willed their bodies to the medical profession with the proviso that their remains be disposed of in a dignified manner, probably by incenaration. There were no ashes or burial, just a memorial serice.

I think we should take a vote on who has the funniest heeby jeeby story to tell. Actually, these three get my vote: Lisa's story about the skunk Wild4gardens story about the tick and her husband Veronicastrum's story about the bee and her ahem cleavage * Posted by: ernie50 z7bGA (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 17:06 I was thinking the same. My favorites are Meadowlark's Mother of all Spiders & Marilou's snake orgy-they must be stopped!LOL. Great visuals. * Posted by: Storygardener 5/6 central oh (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 18:24 I've noticed a trend here...seems like only women get the garden heebie-jeebies. Don't men ever get them? Just wondering... * Posted by: Jannie z7 LI NY (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 19:29 My friend Angela went out for her Anniversary with DH Jim. She ordered a big salad, it came with cut-up portobello mushrooms, sliced in strips. Jim looked over, said her salad "looks like it has slugs in it," Angela went home in tears, and hasn't been able to eat mushrooms ever since. * Posted by: another_hosta_please 6 Coastal MA (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 20:03 lmao @jannie's story. That is priceless! * Posted by: ernie50 z7bGA (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 20:28 Why no, storygardener! We're much too macho and manly to...WHAT WAS THAT!!!;) * Posted by: bouncingpig Spokane z 4-5 (My Page) on Thu, Jun 26, 03 at 20:56 Here in Spokane we get these horrible spiders that look like a marshmallow after it has been roasted and is about to pop. If you squish them (poor DH gets that job!) they literally explode. Their bodies, not counting legs, are about an inch across! So creepy!!!! I also think those white plastic garden swans sold at K-mart border on giving me the heebie-jeebies, or perhaps just the "tacky-wackys". * Posted by: grrlsmom z5 IL (My Page) on Fri, Jun 27, 03 at 0:36 E had to share my fav maggot story. And by the way, I vote for another hostas story about her mom and the ground hog. LMAO! Anyway, when our 3 girls were little, they were very competitive about everything. Fixing chicken to go on the grill one night, I noticed there was an odd # of legs - not an absolutely, even, fair #, and thought, uh-oh, another fight! When dh brought them back in, one was gone and I even remarked, oh ya fixed that problem! He just looked at me. 6 wks later, oldest dd room SMELLED. I cleaned and cleaned, ripped apart the closet, everything. But for some reason, I don't remember why, I didn't get under the bed. One afternoon, I heard all the girls in dd rm. screaming their heads off - chicken leg had pretty much walked out from under the bed by itself. Maggots! The kids and friends were freaking, dh was gone, I had to bite the bullet and take of it ALL BY MYSELF. EWWWWWW! We finally figured out cat had snuck up, grabbed it before plate went out to be cooked and carted it under dd bed for a snack and then abandoned it. Thank God, none of the six I have now is interested in people food! * Posted by: Storygardener 5/6 central oh (My Page) on Fri, Jun 27, 03 at 5:44 Ah, yes, Ernie - that's what I figured...*giggle*. * Posted by: Wendy_the_Pooh USDA 2003 z5/6 (My Page) on Sun, Jun 29, 03 at 14:57 Today I found this THING growing on my straw... [Yucky fungus growing in straw] [More yucky fungus growing in straw] [Yes, even more yucky fungus growing in straw] Eeeeek, I almost touched it!! Also, my very own dog barf fungus... [Dried dog barf] [More dried dog barf] [ o ] RE: Garden Heebie-Jeebies II * Posted by: jennysrainbow z5 PA (My Page) on Sun, Jun 29, 03 at 17:34 I'm sure I'm not alone in getting that Heebie Jeebie feeling from spiders... Don't know why, but they give me the creeps. After being out in the garden one evening, I came in and saw a hidious, brown, hairy, rather large spider on my sneaker. I shooed it off and proceeded to squish it - only to realize that what I thought were "hairs" on the spider weren't... they were HUNDREDS of it's babies traveling on it's back!!! UGH! They were running all over the floor, up the walls, everywhere. My Heebie Jeebies were multiplied by 100 - literally. Had to get some spray to kill them all. Would have taken all night to track down and squish all the little ones. Gives me the willies just thinking about it. Great post - love these stories... hysterical! :) Thanks for the laughs. * Posted by: Veronicastrum z5 IL (My Page) on Mon, Jun 30, 03 at 9:35 THE WEEKEND REPORT: Friday - Went for a walk through the woods when somebody said, "Oh, there's poison ivy in here!" Yes, I was standing on it! (See my earlier post where I insist there is no poison ivy on my property. Mea culpa.) When I got in the house, I carefully removed my jeans and immediately washed them because the cuffs definitely dragged across the plant. Haven't decided how I will handle the leather work boots I was wearing! Saturday - Drove downstate to visit a friend and pick up my daughter from camp, so I was safe for the day! Sunday - worked in the garden most of the day. Took a mid-afternoon break on the porch. As I was running my hand through my hair, I felt a piece of leaf or a seed stuck in my hair, right at the part. Hmm, it was a little stubborn to get it out... Hmm again, what's that crawling on my hand now? EEUW! TICK! Thank goodness it's Monday! * Posted by: flytoxin z6a NJ (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 0:06 My story is not so much of an EEUW!!, but incredibly embarrassing. I mulch all my beds with wood chips as we have a tree service. The different variety of chips produce of course different varieties of fungus/mushrooms when they become extremely wet. Well one weekend the significant other's parents came down for a visit after a particularly rainy period. I had not been around the north side of the house for about a week and that area is heavily mulched in a wide swath. As I rounded the house giving them a tour of the various improvements we had made since their last visit we stopped dead in our tracks. There were hundreds of mushrooms, I mean hundreds. All of them the exact same standing there in full glory at complete attention. THEY EACH LOOKED LIKE A COMPLETE SET OF MALE GENITALIA. The flag pole and the two boys. It was a giant sea of white serpents. Have I told you yet that his parents are Baptist ministers? His mother was afraid to walk on the stone path leading through, she kept looking back and forth as though she thought one of them were going to jump out and bite her ankles. So what did the S.O. say to his father as he pointed at one of the shrooms, "Now you know why she likes gardening so much". AAARRGGG!! * Posted by: Wendy_the_Pooh USDA 2003 z5/6 (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 0:18 Oh, my, is that funny, flytoxin. Glad I was awake for that story. Hee-hee-hee! * Posted by: Veronicastrum z5 IL (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 8:57 flytoxin, I will "witness" for you that you're not exaggerating - I had a nice "set" pop up in my own yard last summer. Thank heavens it was only my 14-year-old niece who commented on how interesting the mushrooms were. And by the way, I think your SO has the same sense of humor as my husband! * Posted by: TinaMcG Z5 Chicago (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 13:01 Hey speaking of dog-barf fungus, aka slime mold....this is the first year I haven't had a problem with it. Last year was a nightmare. I don't care if it "doesn't do any harm". It was growing all over my perennials, and if I hit it with the hose, there were poofs of black spore-smoke all over the place. It was like a Hitchcock film in our garden. Why don't I have slime mold this year? Well, the weather hasn't been that much different than in previous years, so I can only figure it's because I switched from hardwood bark mulch to a thick layer of shredded leaves. * Posted by: flytoxin z6a NJ (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 17:17 Tina McG: Could possibly be the change that did it. I do not use leaves as I found they created a slug problem for me. Dying material and a soft environment to slither over. They seem to resent the rougher texture. Last years chips were predominately maple which produced the serpent army, this year it's birch and it's crop are like the Japanese Shitaki mushrooms. Birch chips are my favorite as they smell great (just don't work with them too long after freshly being cut as you can actually be overcome by the fumes, smells like being in a giant soda factory). Like other chips they will dry out but a rain will bring on the fragrance again. I also find that the insect level seems to decrease in the beds when I use them. (Unfortunately I'm at the mercy of whatever is on the trucks when they come home and many times it's something else). * Posted by: littlebug5 z5 MO (My Page) on Wed, Jul 2, 03 at 17:38 Still laughing at flytoxin's anatomically correct shrooms. Well, I had a heebie-jeebie, and I still have chills up my back just remembering it: I was home alone, mowing my yard on my big noisy riding mower. On the side of my house, near the woods, I was mowing along when I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned around on the seat and just caught the sight of a BIG blacksnake disappearing into the woods. About 4 FEET of him!!!! Well, I am a snake-phobic. I just about had a heart attack. Then, I thought, well, I can't let him get away! So I stopped the mower, went around to the garage to get the hoe, and come back looking for him. Well, I saw him all right. He raised his head up out of the weeds under the trees, looked at me, then KEPT RAISING UP OUT OF THE WEEDS TO A HEIGHT OF ABOUT 4 FOOT AND CLIMBED A TREE!!!! He stretched out along the branch that hung over my yard. About 6 Feet long! AAAAUGGGHHHH! So, methinks, I'll get you yet! So I go back to the garage to get my son's .22 and some shells. So I come back to shoot him and he's gone. Naturally! So, after I calmed down a little bit, I got back on my mower to finish the yard. (Hang with me here.) I had to mow under that branch, several times, and each time I was craning my neck to make sure he wasn't up there and ready to fall down on me. Unbeknownest to me, DH and DS (who is 13) returned home. DS brought me a cold pop (how sweet, you think). Well, he thought he would be clever and sneak up behind me and surprise me with it. Well, you guessed it. As I was making a pass under that fateful branch, DS tapped me on the shoulder. I thought I was going to die! As we say in Missouri, I nearly "had a cow." I screamed, I cried, I nearly wet my pants. DS thought it was extremely funny. And we haven't seen the snake since. * Posted by: Chris_ont 4-5 Ont (My Page) on Sat, Jul 5, 03 at 22:54 Littlebug, I can only say I'm glad you didn't still have that gun when your DS startled you! I had a moment today. There was this thing on my crocosmia. Round, grey, pea-size and shape. In some sort of web. I figured it for an egg or eggs of some sort. Because I can't leave well enough alone, I used my finger to poke at the very edge of the web, to see if it was a spider with its legs pulled in or something. SPROINGGGGGG. The thing took a gigantic leap, hit my finger (I think) and disappeared. It was just gone. I never even saw what it was. Of course, I was convinced that it landed somewhere on me. I ran in the house, removed all of my clothes and shook them out. I'm STILL convinced it's in my hair or something. I never learn... * Posted by: Taryn S Ontario Z6B (My Page) on Sun, Jul 6, 03 at 1:17 flytoxin, ROTHLMAO, hehehe! Hope the MIL loosened up some after her 'encounter' with the 'mushrooms' hehehe! * Posted by: Radagast US east coast (My Page) on Sun, Jul 6, 03 at 15:35 Here's a few, and yes, I am a guy, so you can snicker if you want to... --- The Medusa Pine: This one happened a bunch of years ago back when I was in college. My family has a modest-sized pine bush on the east side of the house. Well, one day I was out there trimming the grass or mowing it or something, and I kept hearing a rustling sound... I turned around and my eyes wided in horror at the pine bush. The whole thing was covered with pinesaw worms (or something like that) - these long, green caterpiller like things would cover the stems and sorta blend in, but they'd all squirm and wriggle at the same time. The result was as if the whole plant was a Medusa - a slithering, ghastly mass of snake-like worms. HORRID!! Fortunately, a good dose of insecticide kills the dang things, but it was a pretty revolting sight to see. You just don't expect to see that many bugs on a plant, and they were all green so they blended in... until they moved... --- Spiders: Normally, I don't mind them, but there's a particular kind that I've seen around on the east coast that gets in houses now and then... it's large and black, and while not one of the dangerous, biting types, it is still nasty and bold. Unlike most spiders, if you try to crush it, it will jump at you, or run away with astounding speed. Just a real pain in the neck, especially when they jump off walls and such. --- Mushrooms: I just hate mushrooms. I don't know why, exactly, though my family always had a problem with mushrooms and gross toadstools growing in the soggy, shady area of the yard near the drainage ditch. I just hate nearly all of them. They're nothing but decay, feeding upon death, and they have all sorts of gross and unnatural behavior... puffballs that unleash clouds of spores, bloated, revolting mushrooms that kill all the grass around them, etc... and the big ones STINK! when cut with a lawnmower or whatever. UGH!! * Posted by: odonata_va z7-8VA (My Page) on Sun, Jul 6, 03 at 16:17 I dont gross out over stuff but my husband does... I was in the garden. My husband (who hates nature as much as it hates him) is complaining to me about the tomato plant I pulled out (virus) He is standing with his back to the bluebird house. I can see the house entrance over his shoulder. He is standing only a foot away. I see something move. I think "oh the baby birds are moving around in the box" (they were getting ready to fledge. At this point, everything goes to slow motion. The cute little baby bird sticks its head out of the box. But wait, The head is black and reptilian not blue and feathery. Interesting, I think, Should I interrupt my patronizing but oblivious husband and alert him to the fact that he is about to get up close and personal with Nature?.... Nah, Said blacksnake came shooting out of the box, landed on his neck and dropped down and got caught between his t shirt and under his armpit as he did the fourth of July blacksnake on your neck dance. Best strip act I have ever witnessed in my front, back and side yard, clothes all OVER the place. Said snake was released in the woods with my blessing and Said hubby retired to the house in his jockey shorts. Neighbor lady said she felt she should have tipped him five bucks. I told her he was good at it because in 14 years of marriage, this has been the 4th time that a snake has dropped down on his neck. * Posted by: Wendy_the_Pooh USDA 2003 z5/6 (My Page) on Sun, Jul 6, 03 at 21:47 Chris_ont, It's probably still in the house. Have you imagined lately (while you're half-asleep) that you've felt something crawling on you? :) I know, I'm bad... * Posted by: Taryn S Ontario Z6B (My Page) on Sun, Jul 6, 03 at 23:11 odonata va, ROTHLMAO again! This is a very funny thread! * Posted by: Vicky60 z5 WI ) on Wed, Jul 16, 03 at 13:41 Oh my. My co-workers must think I am crazy. These are hilarious. Thanks for sharing. I especially love the snake stories. I can fortunately say that I've never had a close encounter, but I can imagine that I would do the, as odonata called it, Fourth-of-July blacksnake down your neck dance. I just don't think they (snakes) have evolved yet. * Posted by: Cris 6b RI (My Page) on Wed, Jul 16, 03 at 15:02 Maggots hands down. I was scarred as a 10 year old finding a dead rat in a heap of tack in our barn. < Ticks come in a close second. There's nothing more gross than a tick. < I freak out if I find one of me....jumping around...screeching...the whole nine yards * Posted by: Leslie6RI (My Page) on Wed, Jul 16, 03 at 16:18 I want to grow some of those mushrooms that flytoxin had. I don't know why... And I've never been concerned in the least about moths. UNTIL NOW! And I'm wondering what would happen if I dropped a snake on my husband's neck. Maybe I could charge the neighbors for the floor-show... This has to be the funniest thread I've ever read. * Posted by: momofthreeinzone4 Z4NY ) on Wed, Jul 16, 03 at 17:13 i got my son a bug catcher last year and he had a great time with it - he left it on the porch during the winter snow and when the snow thawed we found Cheez-its and the remains of a mouse in it. * Posted by: flytoxin z6a NJ (My Page) on Wed, Jul 16, 03 at 18:36 Are we allowed another EEEWWW! story? Please, please, it's a bonafide one that I just remembered. When my brother and I were young our little sister was a real pain in the ____. The type of kid that would sneak up behind you when you were watching TV, rip a hunk of hair out of the back of your head and then run and tell your parents you were beating on her. Which resulted in you getting smacked! Well one day when my brother and I were playing out in the front yard she was really harassing us so of course we started to chase her. She was so busy running while looking backwards that she had not realized she had cleared our property line and was now entering the neighbors. The neighbors with the really really big dogs.Well before you knew it she hit the biggest, juiciest, pile of St. Bernard's crap you ever saw. That poor dog must of had alot of grease that night as man was it loose. As soon as she hit it she went down like a baseball player sliding into home plate. Too this day I can still see it in slow mo in my mind. My brother and I started laughing so hard, she cried all the way home and we presented her to mom with us still laughing our butts off. What was mom's response? "Oh you think it's funny, well lets see how funny you think it is when you clean her up!" And we had to. EEEWWWWW!!! She stunk so bad! The hair on the one side of her head was slicked back like some greaser from the 50's, she even had it in her ears. Man it was horrible. My brother wanted to throw her in the pool but we remembered she still couldn't swim that good. Seriously we were pondering the thought but were afraid that if we had to fish her out in an emergency move we might not be able to get a good grip on her because she was so slippery. (Heh the minds of a 10 & an 11 yr old). We opted for the complete strip/garden hose technique as we were in enough hot water. So if any of you ever cross paths with my little sister and she starts to get on your nerves just use this little question "Is it true your nickname as a kid was stinky?" To this day decades later we never let her live that one down. * Posted by: BronwynsPetalPatch Z7/6b NJShore (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 1:38 Its so funny I found this post... I just went outside to 'right' my patio umbrella that fell over, table and all(had a rain storm) and stepped on a slug! :P Yik!!!!! (there really are no words to describe!) :O) * Posted by: SunnyDay2day mid-MI. zone 5 (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 15:30 Man, you guys are hard on my bladder! Thanks 10 million for the many many ROFL laughs! I can't remember any heebie jeebies since I got a bloodsucker on my foot as a girl of about 10 or 11. Then it was my mother's turn to laugh till she cried when I did the help-I'm-dying-get-this-monster-off-my-foot-can't-you-seeI'm-hysterical dance. Talk about disgusting...they rank right up there with maggots! * Posted by: Meig z5a IL (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 16:09 Most of these stories make me want to run and take a shower...my skin literally itches thinking about some of it...bleh! Others are making me laugh so hard I am crying. * Posted by: cadence 8b (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 17:50 You all have literally got me paranoid now. I just poured myself a nice cold coke and when I put the glass up to my lips, I stopped dead cold. Had to look into the glass first. LOL * Posted by: Yondertree Oregon coast (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 22:32 Yikes, I don't know whether to laugh or cry, like the time I was standing out in front of the place I work, talking to my boss, and a seagull dumped all over the shoulder of my coat. I never saw him laugh so hard, sadistic fellow, but it was one joke I couldn't laugh at. But this one still gives me chills: Once out in the garden, bending over, I felt a light touch of something softly running up my back. I looked up to see a hawk flying away, with a recently caught ground squirrel dangling from his talons! He was having trouble making his altitude fast enough, and that squirrel tail had brushed along my spine. * Posted by: Cleo1 6b (My Page) on Sat, Jul 19, 03 at 23:33 I always leave a 2 foot pail on the side of the house to collect weeds/garden cuttings. I threw stuff in the pail a few weeks ago and a mouse jumped up about a foot from inside the pail. Nearly gave me a heart attack. While I was pondering how it got in there and what I was going to do about it, my husband came home (HEHEHE). Told him I had a problem with my garden pail and stood back. It's ok, he does not have a heart problem, at least not that I know of. LOL... I never throw anything in the pail now without peeking first. * Posted by: sowngrow 8 (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 0:14 Wow-I'm sitting here with my feet on the rung of my desk chair (don't know what might crawl over them) laughing 'til I'm crying. I was intermittently feeling like I have something crawling on me and then scratching my arms during the entire thread! flytoxin you are TOO much! And Sandra, I have a frog phobia also. Of course people don't take that seriously when they are told. One day a neighbor boy who knew full well of my phobia, actually threw a frog, as hard as he could, at me while he stood in the street and I stood by my garage talking to his mother. Fortunately for me and that da*# kid, the frog missed me. * Posted by: butterbeanbaby z5 MO (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 9:07 Oh my God, y'all need to put a disclaimer on this "Do Not Read While Pregnant"... I'm laughing so hard my eyes are running, my four year old thinks I've lost it, my skin is crawling, I can't breathe and either my water just broke or I may have wet my pants!!!!! I can't read about flytoxin's sister or odonata's hubby's blacksnake boogie again or I'll have to go to the hospital for sure! My hubby goes absolutely bezerk if he sees a wasp... big ol' 250 lb man doing the heebie jeebie dance, then he grabs a shoe and dances around practicing killing it for about ten minutes, hits the wall and the floor and the furniture before I get tired of watching and walk up and smack it for him. He also tries to kill wolf spiders with the hammer. City raised apartment boy LOL. Not long after we moved to MO from CA, our cat was sitting behind the TV one day just hissing her brains out... hubby and I were both going "what the *heck* is wrong with that stuipd cat" so I looked back there... big ol' grass spider had cornered my 14 lbs kitty and she couldn't get away. Anything to do with maggots or snakes is bad enough, but those *gigantic* Missouri slugs pretty much do me in. First time I saw one I started screaming "SNAKE SNAKE" at my hubby. Those suckers are so big, you can't step on them. I can't even bring myself to salt them they so nasty. I need to go take a shower! * Posted by: prussell z6 TN (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 17:31 why, oh why, has no one mentioned possums yet?! * Posted by: odonata_va z7-8VA (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 19:59 Possums? live ones, dead ones or ones playing dead? * Posted by: odonata_va z7-8VA (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 20:24 I think I?m going to charge admission to the greatest show on earth.... My husband against the world of nature... I?m going to take him out in the woods, release him and then film his epic and panic filled run back to civilization... I kid you not, the gods of nature hate this man... What follows are true accounts: 6 mind you 6 counts of blood poisoning in 14 years from mosquito bites. Snake falls off the top of the screen door onto his neck. Snake falls out of a tree onto his neck Snake pretends to be a garden hose and gets picked up Snake lands on neck from birdhouse 9 snakes + 1 log + 1 stuuuuck canoe on log + two newlyweds (the male newlywed is rocking the canoe and the log and the snakes and screaming I quote "I SHOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED YOU! YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A PARK RANGER!)= Everyone in the water including 9 snakes. (Ever seen someone levitate before?) Beaver attacks boat, but only stern of boat where husband sits. (He wouldn?t let me steer the boat anymore once he figured out I steer towards the snakes) Husband on hike goes to pee off the side of the trail into a ditch and a deer runs out of the woods and knocks him over. Mountain lion follows us up trail Mountain lion follows us down the trail until a BEAR shows up. Tiger swallowtails at a 'puddle club' fly up and circle his head and manage to stick a butterfly foot into his eye.. you guessed it, eye becomes infected. He bought me walkie talkies for Christmas so we can stay in contact......... * Posted by: flytoxin z6a NJ (My Page) on Sun, Jul 20, 03 at 21:57 To Sowngrow: My oldest son was a small creature collector and had a habit of sticking them in his pockets and forgetting to take them out once he got home. Bet you didn't know that the majority of frogs can't make it through the laundry from start to finish. The rpms in the spin cycle literally rips them apart. Found that out a few times. Totally gross! Although tree frogs are a bit more durable wash wise, it's the dryer that finishes them off! You find them shrink wrapped like some ancient Colorform on the drum wall (and they don't peel off easy). It was the gifts from my son that finally taught me to check pockets before doing a load. To odonata: Put that poor husband of yours in a bubble, he's been through enough. * Posted by: lavatera 5/chgo (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 11:03 What a relief to read about so many others that have similar heebie jeebie triggers despite wanting to be outdoorsy or even gardeners! It was especially a relief after having spent yesterday morning at my sister-in-law's, in her fabulous garden as she casually picked off beetles from various rose bushes and other plants and proceeded to smash or vivisect them in her BARE HANDS! EEEWWW! And she was doing it like it was nothing. Of course so many times I've read gardening experts say that before you resort to using chemicals you should try the hand pick method. But besides her, I've never actually SEEN someone doing it and with such gusto. I stop at using a hose and then I just give up on an infestation figuring que sera, sera.... * Posted by: Chris_ont 5a Ont (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 11:16 So I'm happily dead-heading this morning. The earth smells heavenly after this rain, the robins are following me around hoping I'd unearth a worm or two, hum, whistle, happy sigh, pretty pretty garden. Clipping some damaged violet leaves, I put my finger into something squishy and fluffy. Poked it right into a big clump of spider eggs in the process of hatching. My hand was instantly covered in tiny baby spiders. I now know why dogs roll on the ground when they've encountered something unpleasant. * Posted by: Talamorgan z6 PA (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 12:08 Chris_ont, I would have DIED right there on the spot. I am absolutely terrified of spiders! * Posted by: ccsuzy z6 IN (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 12:15 Yesterday I walked out in the yard and was standing looking at our new backdoor and realized my foot was becoming covered in ants. Last night after turning off the hose (which the teenagers left on the day before when washing the car) I was sitting on the couch and tried to swat the fly on my leg - it was a slug, YUCK. Then this morning I found a reddish black thing on the back of my arm that looked like a scab, rubbed it and it stood up on end, yep, it was a tick.... * Posted by: Wild4Gardens 6 PA (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 17:36 OMIGOD, Odonata.. I am crying from laughing so loud! * Posted by: wingnutdad620 z6 RI (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 20:18 Ok, no funny story to go with this one but those BIG PINK YUCKY IRIS BORERS ARE GROSS! * Posted by: Triple_Creek z5 (My Page) on Mon, Jul 21, 03 at 21:23 Some of you people are just to funny. Thanks for the laughs. My garden Heebie Jeebies has to do with snakes. I used to be terrified of them, but since we built our house in the middle of 50 mostly wooded acres, I figure they were here first and am trying to cope. I can handle most of them but when it comes to the poisonous copperheads I draw the line. One day i decided to divide a daylily that had ajuga growing all around it and reached down to pull some of it back so I could see what I was doing. Well I guess the little copperhead under there thought I was trying to pick him up, and it bit me on the left pinkie.(they are poisonous) Can you say PANIC! Since I was home alone, I called the nearest neighbor. She said she would take me to the ER , but since her little ones were asleep, I decided to drive myself to where my DH was working not knowing if I was going to get sick or what. He took me on to the ER. I didn't die . LOL, just had to get a tetanus shot and had a swollen and painful hand for about a week. So I figure I can survive a bite but I still don't like them. This summer I was in the garden with my dog Keebler ( named for the Keebler Elves because he was a stray born in a hollow tree). Anyway, he gives his ?someone is here? bark but with a low growl at the end, so I come to check it out and there is a LARGE Shiny copperhead on the front walk. I went to get the hoe and when I got back I couldn't see it, but figured it went under the bush next to the walk. Couldn't flush it out with the hoe, so went for the 22. Still couldn't see it but shot into the bush anyway. It pops it head out and I shoot it. Sure I killed it with the first shot. But since snakes have a habit of wiggling for a while after they are dead. I target practiced for a while. When I related the snake story to my DH, he asked if I shot it in the head. My reply was, yes and everywhere else. He chuckled. I know they are gods creatures too, I just don't like them in such close proximity. * Posted by: ernie50 z7bGA (My Page) on Tue, Jul 22, 03 at 6:58 There's something admirable about a woman who shoots her own snakes. Kudos TC(and Keebler)! * Posted by Alex_z7 7 AL (My Page) on Tue, Jun 29, 04 at 11:43 Somehow, while doing a search on the whole site last night, the FAQ Gardening Heebie Jeebies showed up. It didn't have what I was searching for, but I can't tell you the last time I laughed that hard. I was telling my h about it when we got into bed last night, and I kept telling him stories as I remembered them. We were lying there, only 1 lamp on across the room, peacefully giggling about the creepies in the stories when suddenly something small jumps up and is flying for us on the bed! I screamed and yanked the covers up, trying to fend the creature off...... Just then I realized it had made a noise just before landing on my husband. Gee, it sounded like our cat. Now, our cat is not allowed in our bedroom because of my allergies. She has the upstairs of the house to herself and our big dogs have the downstairs. (She hates them. They love her and don't understand why she doesn't like them.) But she apparently gets lonely and feels left out so she crept across the living room and was sneaking into our bedroom. Once we finished laughing hysterically, I told her she needed to announce her presence BEFORE jumping on the bed like that. No response. I called her and cooed for her, no kitty. She had been so scared by my screaming that she had turned and run back through the living room (dog territory) and back upstairs! My h went to check on her and she huffily informed him that she was not amused, that she had lost one of her 9 lives to my scream, and that she was NOT going to grace us w/ her presence again tonight. Of course, tomorrow is another day.....