shrubs_n_bulbs, I have been eyeing Cyclamen coum for several years now, but can't quite muster enough courage to get it. What with the price and the strange weather in the Mid West, I am not sure I want to plunge in yet. I absolutely have no room for a cold frame. :-) Anyhow, I had one before, but everything was frozen solid no matter what I used to buffer it. I would like to force bulbs, but I am too cheap to kind of destroying them for a brief satisfaction. Anyhow, I caved in this year and bought 5 Amaryllis. I'll see how they do. ljrmiller, I planted ikariae a few years ago. I don't know whether it bloomed earlier than others. I stuffed everything everywhere, so I don't really know the exact identity of my bulbs. :-P I don't want a rest in my garden. I just have not found anything hardy enough to fill the gap.

I can't say I have had the same situation exactly. I have 2 step sons(11 and 13) and then I have a 10 month old son. While the 11 and especially the 13 greatly annoy me at times(in fact I just posted on this), I would never even consider compromising their well being for the little one! I do admit that the relationship with the 2 step sons is definitely not the same as the relationship I have with my biological son. I didn't have the 2 older boys as babies and never got to hold and cuddle them like I do my own. But for your husband to treat them as if they are now in the way or in anyway cramping his style is really just wrong anyway you look at it. Something I try to be mindful of and you might bring up to your husband is the relationship between your older 2 boys and the little one. If he has a strained and difficult relationship with your older boys, how is that going to affect how they feel about their little sister? If your husband has changed the way he treats the boys because of the new baby he could be causing more issues than just a strain in his relationship with them. Does he really want to cause the older boys to resent her because he treated her better than he treats them? I am having issues with my oldest just getting on my nerves, but I take the responsibility for trying to fix the situation. I don't see how the solution could ever be to get the older 2 out of the house!!!Hope I didn't ramble on too much!!! Good luck with your situation.

Look, I'm not saying that it isn't impolite to speak a language in front of someone who doesn't understand it. And it is certainly true that it is her home, too. The only point I wanted to make is to consider the cost of turning it into a battle. Yep, you can win it. It's your house, your way, everyone speaks English only if you are in the room. Hey, it's not even your rule -- it's a basic rule of etiquette. Rules of etiquette apply at home, too (This works best, though, if she never, never breaks any herself, even at home). You are reasonable and blameless. You win! But ... what do you win? You win ... ... and the children don't feel at home at Dad's. ... and the Dad and kids have to speak to each other in a second language (to them) if you are present, which can be fatiguing and also just harder to express yourself as you really want to. ... and Dad's relationship to the kids is different if you are there. ... and things feel even more strained and there is even less communication, even if not a single word of Spanish is spoken. How does that make everyone feel about each other? Think it through, from each point of view at a time. NOT from the point of view of who is RIGHT and who is WRONG -- from the point of view of how this will all play out, no matter who is right or wrong. Now, believe me, I'm not saying that the only solution is for her to learn Spanish and/or to suck it up! I definitely agree that the children (and dad) need to think about how all the Spanish conversation makes her feel. They, too, need to see things from her point of view: she needs to feel at home and equal as much as they do. Who knows -- a kind, positive discussion about everyone's point of view on this might actually strengthen their relationships -- assuming that everyone goes into it sincerely trying to see others' perspectives, not just assert their own rights. And I do think that if the children see she is making an effort to learn Spanish, and especially if she enlists them as her teachers, they are going to be much more inclined to make sure she understands all the conversation. It just seems to me that there has to be a much more constructive (and pleasant) way to solve this problem than to cite etiquette rules, issue ultimatums, demand shows of respect, and turn it into a whose-house-is-this-anyway power play that will alienate the children, make Dad feel pulled apart, and ultimately not leave her feeling satisfied anyway.

Hi mom-of-all-trades, thank you for the well wishes regarding my husband. A few things however I believe you misunderstood about my position in all of this. He is free and clear to spend as much time with them as he wants to, they are the ones who cut contact with us when he told them to stop lying all the time and stealing from us. They blocked us on facebook and the youngest has moved away and never let us know her contact info. The oldest refuses to tell us when asked. Husband has already extended the olive branch as it were twice without success. The ball is in their court... The youngest never really wanted anything to do with her half siblings and is so far gone in her relationship with her father that he doubts she will ever make contact again. (long story). The oldest still lives with her mother and her mother decided that she doesn't like me because I helped my husband not be a doormat to her and the demands for money that she would have just pissed away for herself (he wasn't required to pay child support and they are both over 18) and guilt she still tried to lay upon him regarding his older children. His oldest seems to have learned how to behave from her mother regarding the stealing, lying and manipulating. I didn't really have a problem with her spending time with my daughter until I started noticing things missing from my house. She even stole a pair of my husband's shoes. New ones that he just bought. Stealing not just from him, but from me as well. When confronted about it, lying and acting outraged at even being accused even though some of the stuff later appeared in her house. This is not the type of person either me or my husband want in our house regardless if she is his daughter. If she ever realizes that she needs to clean up her act and be honest and not steal, then she will be welcome again. And she has been told this. She isn't only hurting us, she is hurting her half-siblings with every item she takes that we have to replace. I have made it clear that I value honesty highly and at this point it is too hard for her to accept. We will see what happens in the future but like I said, I have a strong gut feeling that it will not. Regards NadineV PS, there is a lot more information about what led to this situation in my two previous posts if anyone is interested.