I don't have any advice about overcoming your phobia that hasn't already been given here, but I wanted to chime in that there is no rhyme or reason to phobias, so it's not helpful for others to say "that phobia makes no sense". I have always had pet fish and I adore them. I have no trouble letting them nibble on my hand as I clean their tank, etc. I can swim in ponds with little fish darting around, and I have swum in the Gulf of Mexico with harmless sand sharks bumping around in clear view. But I am very unhappy about visiting aquariums where there is just a wall of glass between me and big fish. And (thank you, Diana Gabaldon) I am freaked out swimming in lakes because I am afraid of . . . the Loch Ness monster! Yes, I know it is ridiculous to be afraid that the Loch Ness monster is in a lake in the US. And even if the Loch Ness monster WAS in the lake, it's probably a harmless vegetarian and wouldn't bother me anyway. After all, I would PAY to swim with manatees, so why be leery of Nessy?Because knowing it is ridiculous intellectually isn't the same thing as not being filled with heart-pounding dread when you're at the lake!

I am so glad this discussion is on here! I am 52, and was just told to go off the combo pill in August, after being on it nearly continuously since 17 when I picked it up in college. My blood pressure had started to go up last year, so we figured this was the cause. I had never had high blood pressure before - usually the opposite. I tried reducing salt and increasing exercise for a bit, but it had little impact. So, I was recommended going off or switching to the mini-pill progesterone-only. The first two weeks were fine, then I had a couple of weeks of constant overheating(no 'flashes', just constant hot). I read about how sometimes when you go off the combo pill, your insulin levels can be weird as your other systems take over estrogen and general thermostat regulation, so I cut out all the high spiky insulin foods(think sugar and white rice along with the rest of the online lists of foods to avoid) and reduced some caffeine, and the heat problem turned off completely. Now it has been three months of progesterone only, and I can see my skin aging, and hair growth slowing. I had been having a lot of brain-fog issues the past few years, and those have not changed, sadly. It's very annoying, and I hope that part at least sorts itself out by 60. Bonus and unexpected - my internal base stress level has gone down. It's just easier to cope. I have added rice and sugar back with no problems, and overheating is completely gone. I am sleeping better, although now I have weird little dreams, when I have never been one to remember dreams much at all. I do not have more energy, and some of my hand strength is just gone. Also, mentally, I find I am more detached from things and people, but not in a depressed or destructive way. More the feeling of having a choice about being involved or not, rather than having an immediate reaction (like wanting to scream at the grocery clerk that eye-rolled when asking a valid question). Hoping I am just done, but it's too soon to tell. I get mild cramping with no period, and some spotting during the week I would have normally had one in the '4th week off' time. But it's too soon to write off periods altogether. I am hoping most of the worst of it was masked during the past 5 years. But...I do have female relatives that didn't hit menopause until 56-65. One would have thought with half the planet going through this in their lives that there would be more medical study and progress on this in the last 50 years, but apparently no. lol I think starting a better workout routine and nutrition plan is next on the agenda. Wondering how much of my personality and priority-setting is hormone related. Will be interesting to see who I become now. Maybe my ten year old self has a chance again. :) She was fun.

The Rain Lilies sound neat! They sound like determined little guys. Its cool that you were able to recognize and preserve a part of your house's history. I have found all kinds of weird things here. There are hurricane lilies both white and red that pop up all over the front yard. I tried moving a few of the red ones into the flower bed then the chickens discovered they were yummy to eat so I am not sure if they will come back up lol. I think I will leave the others out there. The other day I saw some other type of tall strappy leaves that look like some kind of lily but not a crinum (at least doesn't look like the others I found). I will have to wait and see what it blooms into. ~sjn

Will the party be inside or outside? I have decorated with all white, crystal/glass, silver, and gold, with lots of little candles, and it gave a very elegant and glamorous, but not Christmas-y, look. I got the idea from some web site; can't remember which. Anyway, it was just for decorating tables for a dinner party for about 18 people, but you could extrapolate. It was a challenge, because it was a birthday dinner for a dear friend who had recently been suddenly widowed just before a big birthday for which she'd had a big party planned (and of course cancelled), so we needed it to be nice and special without being too traditionally festive, KWIM? Anyway, I collected all the small glass or crystal and silver vases, candle holders, pitchers, jam jars, and so forth in the house -- even pretty or plain jars. You want lots. I put clusters of white mini roses in all of them and put plenty of white votive candles in each group. Then I wound around strands of garland made of sparkly stars. It all twinkled and reflected without using any lights. I used the same decorations for a dinner the day before a wedding, too. You could do something like that, just stay away from too obviously Christmasy stuff; definitely no red or green. Maybe blue or black tablecloths? I used white. You can also rent a few potted trees and put tiny lights in them and put them around the perimeter of your space. Stay away from evergreens; think more tropical or something like ficus. Happy birthday to your husband!