I feel so sad for Sophie.

15 years ago

Her 6th birthday is Monday, but we're having her party tomorrow. We booked a party room at an indoor playplace and paid for a party for 20 kids (10 friends her age plus their siblings). She's been so excited, and talking about it for 2 months now. The parents are all friends of ours and when they were invited, most said they would be able to make it for sure. A couple said they'd get back to us. I ordered 2 extra pizzas for the adults and fruit and vegetable trays, and the birthday cake I've ordered is HUGE. Sophie and I made up 20 super duper loot bags. In the past 2 days, a bunch of the parents have called to say that something has come up and they won't be able to come.

There are 3 parents I haven't heard back from, so I don't know if they're coming or not. The 2 friends that I know for sure ARE coming are going to be 1/2 hour late.

So her party has gone from 20 friends to possibly only 2. I know she'll still have a great time, but I can't help but feel disappointed. I just had a big ol' bawl (she wasn't around) over the frustration of it all.... could be pregnancy hormones in part too. :)

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Comments (30)

phyllis__mn
15 years ago
Don't you just hate to have your kids disappointed? It hurts much more than if it happens to us. I hope she has a good time anyway, as I'm sure she will.
budster
15 years ago
Life sometimes gets in the way of plans but I think the parents should not have committed so quickly to the invite if there was a chance they might have to cancel. I feel for Sophie but more so for you and all the work you have done. I'm sure her party will be great at any rate.
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socks
15 years ago
I'm so sorry. We sure can hurt for our kids, can't we?

I must be honest here, Nicole, I feel there is something wrong if so many people have cancelled. Why would so many people cancel? I would call the three people who have not RSVP'd just to get the head count nailed down. [Just my opinion, but I think 20 kids is too many for a 6-year-old's party.]

You and Sophie have had fun planning the party. That's important. Don't express your disappointment to her. Gather up the extra loot bags and tuck them away. Put on a brave and happy face for your dear daughter. I have a feeling you'll have a wonderful day in spite of it all.

I hope you won't have lost any money on the pizza, fruit, etc.

I'm sending you a hug because I know the pain a mother can feel when her children are hurt.

Susan
grammahony
15 years ago
Oh that always made me hurt for my kids. Probably more than they did. They've probably made the cake already, but I'd call and see. If not, ask them to make a smaller one.
Leslie
gadgets
15 years ago
What a bummer!! I am not suffering from pregnancy hormones and I still feel like bawling. We can take things happening to ourselves MUCH more than when they happen to our kids. I hope something happens that increases the crowds.

Shirley
angela_nor_calif
15 years ago
I hate when that happens. When my kids were younger, it seems there was always a couple of birthdays when only a few kids showed up. It always makes you hurt for your child. Make the best of it. Put on a happy face and don't let Sophie know how disappointed you are and she will probably have a great time. I personally feel like less kids makes for a more fun party.
lydia1959
15 years ago
So sorry that things aren't working out as planned, but I hope that the day turns out wonderful anyhow.

(((Nicole and Sophie)))
better2boutside
15 years ago
I remember one birthday party I had where a bunch of friends were expected to come to my house (I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time- this was back in the day of doing parties at home) For whatever reason only 1 kid showed up. So mom took us and my sister to the Jolly Rogers- a small kiddie amusment park. I dont remember being upset, or hurt- but I do remember having a great time.

I am sure your daughter will enjoy her birthday because of all of the love and thought you have put into her special day.
zeetera
15 years ago
Sophie's six already? Wow. You'll probably have a greater time with less children to mind.

There may be another activity going on that others are attending. At least most let you know beforehand that they couldn't make it (even though it still hurts).

It seems like more people show up to events when there isn't an RSVP requirement. Never been able to figure that one out. Still, have fun and enjoy the leftovers!
kim_okla
15 years ago
Would it be possible to move the party? Like to a children's ward? Someplace where some kids would really appreciate Sophie sharing her birthday with them.

I guess if you've already booked a room, you're locked in. Is there a group of underprivledged kids that could come to you?
patti43
15 years ago
That just makes me mad! I feel sad for Sophie and for you. You've done a lot of work to make it a special day for her even though you're pregnant and haven't been feeling all the well.

I hope the three who haven't RSVP'd can come. That's really plenty for that age, anyway. I agree with Susan--call and ask. Hopefully, you'll feel better after that.

Our little Sophie is sure growing up, isn't she? Hope it's the best party ever!!
Mickey15
15 years ago
I"m sorry Nicole! It will still be fun for Sophie, I'm sure of it!
Also, I sent you a message through your mypage.
Hugs!
Tammy
jannie
15 years ago
Even if only one or two friends show up, I hope Sophie will have fun. I know it's hard, you want your kids to feel good and popular and all that, but don't let her know about the cancellations. One or two good triends is all she really needs. And tell her Happy Birthday from me!
barb_from_pa
15 years ago
I'm sorry things aren't working out well for the party. I hope Sophie has a wonderful time anyway!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!!!
nicole_ont
Original Author
15 years ago
Thanks so much everyone. Since I posted this this morning I've heard from 2 of the moms who hadn't responded yet, and they're both coming. And they have 3 kids each, so that's really boosted our numbers! And of the ones that called to say they couldn't come, 3 of them invited us over to their place for playdates in the next couple of weeks.

I know that Sophie wouldn't have been disappointed even if just 2 kids showed up. She's incredibly easy going. But I'm sure feeling a lot better about it now.

Thanks again everyone.

I'll post party pictures on the weekend!
des_arc_ya_ya
15 years ago
Oh, good, Nicole. I'm glad that things are looking brighter for the party. Share those photos with us. It's hard to believe that she's growing up so fast.

(See my post on having a FORTY YEAR OLD!! LOL)
camp56
15 years ago
As the grandmother of a little girl who is also going to be 6 on September 29 and is having her party tomorrow, I am truly happy to see that more children will be present for Sophie's party. I hope both of our "Birthday Girls" have wonderful parties and a wonderful day full of happy memories. My best to you and Sophie.
sheilajoyce_gw
15 years ago
Can you invite your cousins and aunts and uncles, etc? Include dads if that would work.
curlysue
15 years ago
I had the same ideal as SheilaJoyce. Call some cousins, friends who don't even have kids, anybody who would like some birthday cake. Sounds like you have some good numbers now so everything should turn out just great. Heck if the friends that are coming are close enough friends tell them they can bring a few extra kids with them if they want.
Have a great day!!
kim_okla
15 years ago
I didn't say, happy birthday to Sophie. You'll have fun no matter what.
mariend
15 years ago
It is harder on the parents than the children. Do you have any families who have relatives in Iraq? Many of those children are being left out because of parents serving our country. Just ask them to share Sophie's special day and don't worry about gifts. Their gift to you is service to our country--but you could have a few extra gifts on hand. Just a thought
FlamingO in AR
15 years ago
I hope your smaller party is even more fun than the bigger one! Happy Birthday to Sophie!
nicole_ont
Original Author
15 years ago
2 of the parents that had cancelled have called to say that plans have changed and they'll be there after all! I was feeling so disappointed this morning, but things have sure turned around. I'll for sure post pictures soon!

Thanks again. :)
girlsingardens
15 years ago
Nicole,

I hear you about those dreaded pregnancy hormones.;) I am glad things are turning out okay. I think seeing our kids hurt or dissapointed about something is so much worse on us mamas than it is on our kids.

Stacie
girlsingardens
gramzeeinmd
15 years ago
Hi Nicole,
I am glad things seemed to get a lot better since this morning and I am so glad for you and of course for Sophie.
There are a lot of parties this weekend, Makayla will be 5 next Tuesday and her party is this Sunday.
I will psot some pics Sunday or Monday night from her party.
Happy Birthday to ALL!
Deb
joyfulguy
15 years ago
Hi Nicole.

First things first - at the appropriate time, please wish Sweet Sophie a wonderful, happy birthday from ole joyful.

She's such an interested, interesting, busy, co-operative growing person.

I really felt sad for her at the beginning ... though, as several said, more so for you, due to all of the busy-ness, planning and cost, in addition to feeling sad for Sophie.

I liked Kim Okla's idea of moving to a children's ward, if possible.

Then I thought that it might be possible to take some of the surplus supplies to a children's ward, or a school for disadvantaged kids.

Now, it looks as though there won't be much left over.

Would it be possible to visit such a place on her real birthday? Too short a time for planning, I expect.

Maybe I'm living in the past, but I favour having the party at home, on a more modest basis. I find it hard to adjust to this game of providing a boodle bag to every attendee ... it seems to me that they should get theirs when their birthday rolls around.

It seems to me that such things add to our kids growing up expecting a shower of good things coming to them all of the time ...

... and in the less affluent days that are coming for our society, I think that many of the ones who get such training are in for a succession of substantial disappointments.

I hope that you all have a perfectly lovely time.

ole joyful
intherain
15 years ago
This happened to us a couple of times. It's very upsetting to the birthday child. One year, only 1 person showed up.

The thing that bothered me most about birthday parties was the lack of RSVPs, or the ones we got THE DAY of the party.

I'm glad things have turned around and 2 more can come!

Sheryl
colleenoz
15 years ago
I am just gobsmacked by the rudeness of the people who originally committed, then changed their minds, then changed them back. The subtext here is, "Oh, yes! We'd love to come...sorry, got a better offer so we're not coming...oh, the better offer fell through so we're going back to plan A." Miss Manners would be horrified.
minnie_tx
15 years ago
An Idea
perhaps you can call the two and have them bring their dolls and have a grownup party for the dolls to celebrate her birthday Make Lemonade out of those lemons
teresava
15 years ago
I hope Sophie had a great day!!

I feel so sad for Sophie.

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I feel so sad for Sophie.

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