I didn't know people went to prison for those kinds of things.

I'm wondering if maybe he has been on house arrest before also, and that did not work. Whew...that is a lot of offenses, and prison is likely they only way he can and will learn what breaking the driving laws means.

Someone I know is on house arrest. She had a DUI and got next to nothing. Then 2 years later she got another one, had no insurance, and had her small son with her when she hit another car (her fault). This time her license has been suspended for a long (not sure how long), and she has an ankle bracelet and has to pay for that and being on house arrest for 3 months. She also has to attend substance abuse classes (and pay for them), pay a fine, and do community service later. Had she not gotten off so easily the first time, she may not have done it a second time. I really do think (from what I've been told) that she will 'never' drink and drive ever again....or drive without insurance for that matter.

Yes...just being a friend is about all you can do at this time.

Sue

He called you?
What did he want from you?

I would stay far back. This guy has no respect for laws or people's personal property.
And don't get involved with his legal problems...like being a character witness, etc.

I know of no state that puts people in jail for driving on suspended license and/or speeding tickets. If vehicular, it sounds more like repeated DUI offenses.

I agree with Monica. He doesn't respect the law. Any of them. Driving without a license. More than once. No insurance. Stealing. I take it he's divorced, since you said he's got a GF, and kids. GF was driving without a permit. Sounds like he doesn't think he has to follow the rules. He won't respect you either.
Leslie

Is this guy for real?

The fact he called you from prison is a bad bad sign Moonie. Most likely he picked you because you will ooh and ahh and poor baby him when nobody else will. The last thing this guy needs is a stranger giving him sympathy and by doing so you are enabling him to just keep screwing up and never being responsible.

There is much more happening with your neighbor than you know and he is leading your around by your nose. (and I say that in the most loving way possible.....)

He is in prison for much more than moving violations and a stolen computer. He is only telling you what will enhance your sympathy for him. He is using you. You can't help him. He doesn't need sympathy or encouragement. He needs take his knocks for screwing up and learn.

The next time he calls (and he will) ask him what his in-house counselors are telling him and what he's doing with his time to improve himself. Then tell him not to call anymore. Then, report him to the prison authorities. Tell them you don't want him to call anymore. If you truly want to help him, remove yourself from this drama. Don't enable the bum anymore.

If the mother and children need help, call Children services and explain the situation. Agencies are there for situations such as this.

Times like this I wish there was a keyboard stroke to show compassion. My words do sound harsh (I've rewritten this twice) but my intent is not. For your safety and his well being you MUST get out of this situation. You can't help him because he doesn't want help and compromising your safety and well being is NOT being kind or giving. He can tell you are a good person and is preying on you.

I would call my phone service provider and ask for the phone number he called you from and verify where he was when the call was made.

Lori

In the state of NC after repeated violations of driving without a license, suspeneded/revoked and so many unpaid speeding tickets, people can and sometimes are put in county jail. If they are sentenced to more than 30 days they are automatically sent to the State Correction Dept. to serve time.
He sounds like he is exactly where he needs to be right now. Hopefully this is a wake up call for him.

is he in a local jail, or an actual prison? it's still lock-up, but not quite the same.

bil was locked up in local jail for dui's for 4 months...wish i could say it helped him but know he's drinking again... (he's in his 60's)

Driving under a revoked license in California can get you up to six months in prison and a $2000.00 fine along with the car being taken away. So in some states people do indeed go to prison for this offense. If he is a repeat offender this could very well be why he is in prison.

And he has kids? Jeezus!!!!

Susan mentioned going to jail for dui's. One of the captains where Jody works is looking at 25 years to life for dui's. He has spent $35,000 on lawyers. This is a man who makes $500 a day, every day that he works. Stuff like this is hard for me to fathom...how people can be such idiots.

If anyone is interested, I found it very easy to pull up the Dept of Corrections in my state, fill in the name and access any law violations of someone in prison. So, this guy has been on probation but not house arrest. No DUI's, but probation for DMV violations and it shows all the violations.

Yes, he called because I told his gf to tell him he could call me if he wanted to. I expected him to call last week and figured since he didn't, he wouldn't call at all. I'm glad he did. But, you're right Monica, I would not even think of being a character witness since obviously I didn't judge him so well.

Doesn't mean that I still don't care about him but I don't want anything to do with his legal problems. How far our friendship with him goes depends how the outcome, and anything else that may come up.

You sound like a "kind heart"....I wouldn't go trying to "save" or help too much....he sound like someone who would take advantage and leave you with nothing. They can be good talkers and swindlers. Watch out for yourself, okay?

I knew an oil man here in TX years ago who drove drunk many, many times, but when caught & went to Court, he got off just paying fines 7 times. He developed a new tact...just before being taken to jail he'd fake a heart attack & be rushed to hospital.

Once there he'd demand his cardiologist be called at once. Doctor was a close friend & would say he was not drunk but suffering from serious cardiac distress & admit him.

One night when being taken to jail, he again faked a heart attack, but his Cardio doc had taken in a partner & was that's who was on-call. He clearly stated, "This man has NOTHING wrong with his heart, he's stupid drunk."

So happened there was also a new Judge on the bench when he went to court...he was sentenced to pick up trash on the main highway for 6 weeks -8 hours every Sat. Everyone got a kick out of seeing this very prominent, super wealthy, egotistical man cleaning up the right of way. Everyone hinked & waved in delight that he finally for what he deserved. (Shortly after he finished his sentence, he hired a private jet to take him to a re-hab center.)

Suzi

kickypants - I do have a soft heart but also have learned things the hard way. Our oldest son was on and off drugs for a couple of years and we were so very close to telling him not to darken our doorstep again. It was a blessing when he spent 20 days in jail and was put on probation. He passed his drug test each time and we were able to help him get straight again. He was one of those good talkers.

It's a wonder that oil man from Texas didn't kill someone. I wonder if this guy is now sober and contributing to society.

Moonie_57, I'm a criminal defense lawyer, and from what you said, it sounds to me that your friend went to jail for a probation violation, along with his new driving violation. That's a really common route to jail - put on probation, violates probation, goes to jail.

As others have said, though, it's entirely possible for someone to go to jail for operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license. Usually, as with your friend, the courts give them one (or two or three) chances on probation before jail time, but as you said, what else can they do with people who don't learn.

Another thing you may want to consider is possibly his violations were plead down from more serious ones. I wouldn't really trust much of what he has said. I know you want to be their for him as a friend, but being an enabler isn't going to help him or his kids. He hasn't proven himself trustworthy, so be careful of trusting him.

joann3456 - yes, I'm sure it was a probation violation. Defense attorney, huh? Sounds very interesting. I've been in a courtroom a couple of times and I was riveted by the more interesting things. Some of it was just an absolutely ridiculous waste of time.

carla - I'm more concerned about the other charge of him being involved in stealing a computer. Back in the spring he had the key to DH's workshop. DH has been out there numerous times for what appeared to be no reason. I know he was looking around to make sure nothing was missing.

Moonie, you are having a hard time letting go of this involvement, so I'm suggesting that you turn it over to your DH and let him continue the friendship. . .or not. You are attaching some of your experience with your son to this young man. I think he needs a male influence, not a "mother" figure.

You mention your DH is suspicious of him. All the more reason to let him handle any further dealings with him. Chances are if your DH talks to him each time he calls, he will stop calling. Case closed.

Sue

Did he call collect? Be careful, those charges add up fast. I know, unfortunately, because of a brother, whom I love dearly, and want him to change, and have tried to help him many times over the YEARS to try to help him, but he hasn't changed. And now he doesn't understand why I do not do not accept collect calls. I do understand how you feel wanting to help, though.

Sue - You hit the nail on the head. In my first post a couple of weeks ago, I did state that there are some maternal feelings towards this kid. Maybe he does need male influence, but I've always thought he needed a mother figure as well, something he hasn't had. On one of my post in the pet forum, when I was discussing us keeping his dog, I mentioned about how bad I felt for this kid when he got a Xmas card from his mom. He hadn't heard from her in a couple of years. He actually called me soon as he got home from work just to tell me that he had gotten the card. So, yeah... I wish I could be there for him like I was my own son, but the problem is, I know my son a little better than I do this kid, thus, possibly what to expect or mostly, what concerns to have.

As far as calling, he's only called the one time, and because I sent the message that he could. I told him he can call me again when he finds out when he'll get released.

The gf and those kids... I have taken her a couple of times to run errands and to the Dept of SS. She's getting foodstamps, but I think I had already mentioned that.

Why do people do such stupid things to ruin their lives and the lives of their families????

Sorry peg08, I missed your post.

Yes, I'm sure the charges are high. I wouldn't let my own kids run up my phone bill so I sure wouldn't let this guy either. I'm sorry about your brother... sometimes you do everything you can and still it doesn't help.