Thanks for your ideas. As far as a tradition, we would like to make it somethiing consistant each year with each (future) grandchildren. My children had a very unconsistant Grandmother (not my side)! and would sometimes get their feelings hurt by this. I like the idea of a sum of money, and perhaps a small gift. Deffinatly a day together!!! Thanks all...

I think you can assert your own rules at your house. My kids do have rules at home. But there are still some different rules at Grandma's. My mom has a lot of little breakables at her house and would not just put them up for the grandkids. She insisted they be taught not to touch them. And darn it if my kids didn't figure out that Grandma just has some rules we don't have at home. At home, we just don't have little breakables setting around to tempt them. Sometimes the kids just test grandma, see how much she's spoil them. One visit when my DS was about 4 he got out some toys and didn't pick them up the first time my mom asked him to. He walked away and went to do something else. My mom picked up the toys and put them in her closet, gone. DS came back, wanted the toys again and my mom said "Sorry, you didn't put them away. So I did, and now you don't have them anymore. Next time, you should put toys away when you're done." You bet he didn't mess with grandma again. DH's parents are positively anal, they get truly upset if the kids touch the walls or windows. Now at home I'd be insane if I tried to keep 4 kids from ever touching walls! But at that Grandma's, they know and follow the rule. (We don't actually visit there often, it's stressful for everyone to be that extreme.) But I appreciate that the grandmothers set rules at their house too, instead of the stories I hear of grandmothers who undermine parents' rules by living by "anything goes at grandmas." I would rather they support me in setting expectations of behavior. At someone else's house, their rules trump mom and dad's. My point is, kids learn that there are different expectations in different places. Heck, my own DD is a model student at school and her teachers do not believe that she ever talks back to me! LOL. Does your grandson have behavior issues at school? If not, then you know he can respond to a change of rules/expectations in different environments. You could work your concerns into conversation with the boy's parents. In fact, I think you should do so with caution, but do it. Maybe they are concerned too and would appreciate the support and listening ear. You could model to them that he can in fact respect your rules, so he can learn to respect theirs to if they assert them. Try to voice your suggestions in a way of "He can learn to do this" instead of "He doesn't, you don't make him..." Don't make it criticism. Make it clear what can be gained by expecting more of his behavior: success in school, better friendships, responsibility builds confidence, people will trust him. He will be a happier kid in the long run if he is taught to respect others. That is what this really comes down to. It isn't just about obeying rules superficially. It is about realizing how his behavior affects others, and how that in turn affects how they feel about him. I have used the line with my kids, "Your friends/people/grandma and grandpa don't like it when you act like that. It's not fun and it makes them feel sad/angry/tired." You can work on establishing the boudaries and expectations at your house when your grandson is there. Next time, say to HIM, "You said something last visit that I did not like." Talk about it, ask if he meant it, get his perspective, listen to what he thinks about his behavior. Tell him he should not talk to you like that again, or about his parents like that again. State the rules of picking up after himself at your house and that you know he can do that. Even ask him to help with other tasks, like setting the table. Tell him how helpful he is and praise his contributions as being grown up. It will make him feel so much better than the out of control tantrums and not knowing who is really in charge. Reward him with your attention when he respects you, but not when he doesn't. You can do this between the two of you. He is old enough to talk about it with you. It is great if you can get his parents on board. But if if they can't/won't enforce it at home, you can get his cooperation at your house. You can just speak to him straight forward, tell him you and he will both be happier when you respect each other instead of argue and get angry at each other. Let him know you're there to help him be his best self, which is NOT tantrums. Make him feel proud of himself when he shows respect for you and others. Make it feel better to him to behave respectfully than to have a fit to get his way. You CAN expect him to follow your rules at your house and treat you with respect regardless of what his parents let him get away with. You CAN show your support to his parents by listening and letting them know you care about your grandson and their family. Sorry, that got much longer than I intended, it rambled some. I thought about deleting and trying it shorter. But I'm leaving it as it is, I want to say it all. ;o)

At his age, he loves opening lots of presents, like coloring books, crayons, pads of paper and colored pencils, stickers, tubes of dinosaurs, tubes of farm animals, forest animals, sharks, matchbox cars, books he can read with mom and dad, balls - big and little, bubbles, tinker toys, Lincoln Logs. There are so many wonderful toys, none particularly expensive, but great fun for a five year old. I find those computer "toys"a cop out for lazy parents, encouraging kids to sit, not play or use their imagination. Fortunately, my daughter feels the same. I have so much fun with my grandson, just playing with him with his toys, and he has such a great imagination, sometimes I just have to stop and laugh, and he's never had one of those learning toys. He does play a few word games on my iPod Touch, but he loses interest fairly quickly and it's back to his dinosaurs (he knows the names of dinosaurs I didn't even know existed). My grandkids moved almost two thousand miles away, but I fly down every two or three months for a visit. I miss them so much. I send the older one (3 years old) an email most every day, sometimes with a photograph of something happening here and I tell him about it, and always with a coloring page. There are so many sites with great coloring pages that you can print or email. Good luck.

Carolyn, What a great job you did on the quilt! I love the colors too. Can't wait to see what your choices are for the quilting. Your GS is a blessed fellow to have you for a Grandmother. I'm with Carolyn and Sally, please let us see the other one under your Grandson's. I tried to peek under and still couldn't see any more that you're teasing us with. doris