kerrymsc...your post on the suicide thread

18 years ago

Kerry, Please forgive me for posting this here, but that was an older thread and sometimes people don't read older ones. I copied and pasted your post to put here so it could be seen. I replied to your post, but feel pretty helpless and you need help. I hope someone here can be encouraging to you. You may get replies at both threads. Hugs to you Kerry.

Here is Kerry's post. I hope someone here can offer some comfort or some help.

Kerry's post:

I am feeling that way myself right now. I came accross your message while serching for ways to do it. I really believe that my family would be better off without me and that my life is never going to get any better. I have gone through a divorce, lost my job and are dealing with a whole host of other issues. I am just so very tired of it all and see no end in sight but for the one I can make for myself. I am on antidepressants too, I have been on them for years and I still feel this way. I just keep thinking to my self NO MORE!

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Comments (27)

hayjud_mn
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I'm moving this to this post, incase Kerry doesn't see the other one! I almost skipped it.

Kerry,
Please take time to read these replys. It is easy to THINK that everyone would be better off if you did what you are thinking, BUT it makes life misserable, painful, complicated and all kinds of difficulties for those you left behind. I know from experience that it is not a way to make improvements.
You have a pile of problems right now. All you can do is handle one thing at a time. I don't even know you and I CARE! Think about the people who know you -- THEY DO CARE even more!

There is a number in the phone book 1-800 273-8255
Please call it and talk to someone who can help you to think this through better then you are on your own.

There are organizations in every community to help you in many of the situations you have to deal with. They can direct you to the right ones.

Please realize that you are a valuable and loved person. We all feel at the end when things keep going wrong. Be willing to take advise and then come back and let us know you are doing fine.

We will talk/type!

Kerry, please call that number and don't hang up. If for some reason that doesn't work, come back here!

Hayjud
petaloid
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
RE: Understanding suicide..why why why??? :(

Posted by mscsippy (My Page) on Sun, Aug 3, 08 at 18:20

Kerry, oh my gosh!!! Your message has scared me so much I can't even think of what to say to you. Please think of your family whose hearts will be broken and the guilt your family would feel. Please remember it cannot be undone. I hope someone here can help you more than I can right now. How long have you been on antidepressants? It sounds like you may need to try a different one.

There are so many of us here that care about you even though we don't know you. We are caring people and all living creatures are important to us. You can come here anytime to vent, to cry, to ask for help, to get hugs, to get advice etc.

You have a whole lot on your plate right now and I can see how distressing it could be. I've been in exactly the same situation as you. It was many years ago and thoughts of suicide crossed my mind too just because the pain of the sadness was so great. I knew down deep that my daughter needed me though and knowing that gave me strength to keep going. I'm so glad I didn't give into temptation to end it all.

I hope someone here or somwwhere else will be able to help you. My heart hurts for you. I will pray for you.

Linda

RE: Understanding suicide..why why why??? :(

Posted by hayjud_mn (My Page) on Sun, Aug 3, 08 at 19:19

Kerry,

Please take time to read these replys. It is easy to THINK that everyone would be better off if you did what you are thinking, BUT it makes life misserable, painful, complicated and all kinds of difficulties for those you left behind. I know from experience that it is not a way to make improvements.

You have a pile of problems right now. All you can do is handle one thing at a time. I don't even know you and I CARE! Think about the people who know you -- THEY DO CARE even more!

There is a number in the phone book 1-800 273-8255
Please call it and talk to someone who can help you to think this through better then you are on your own.

There are organizations in every community to help you in many of the situations you have to deal with. They can direct you to the right ones.

Please realize that you are a valuable and loved person. We all feel at the end when things keep going wrong. Be willing to take advise and then come back and let us know you are doing fine.

We will talk/type!

Kerry, please call that number and don't hang up. If for some reason that doesn't work, come back here!

Hayjud

RE: Understanding suicide..why why why??? :(

Posted by petaloid (My Page) on Sun, Aug 3, 08 at 19:20

Kerry, I sent you an e-mail. Please read it right away, because I shared some insights from personal experience.

Trust me, suicide provides no benefit to you, no matter what you think, and it causes untold, long-term suffering for everyone you know.

However bad things look, your life can turn around in an instant! Get help, now.
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hayjud_mn
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
I'm bringing this up to the top!

Kerry please read and answer this.
nan_nc
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry, where are you? You have no idea how many loving hearts have been reaching out to pull you up and out of this. Having had suicidal thoughts myself at one time (the fault of the andidepressant my doctor had me on) I DO know how you feel! Or maybe I don't.

Suicide is no solution. It only ends your involvement, and ends any chance to get better. Talk to a professional, if it's at all possible, please.

We care, talk to us.
hayjud_mn
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry, If you are trying to figure out how to add another reply to a post ---
If you reply is rejected, You sometimes need to change a word in the title of the thread, just add or remove a word then submit your reply.

Please answer, we are worried.
froggy2bug
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry,
I'm just a lurker, but I care, please come back and post.

Linda~
joyfulguy
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Greetings Kerry,

When one is rejected by one who earlier offered love, it is a very crushing experience. Especially since, as most couples share a great deal of their lives, the one who is the rejector often knows a number of the former loved one's weak spots, feelings of inferiority, etc. ... so when the disagreements start and move along, knows just where to stick the dagger in to hurt the most.

I've sometimes said that, while we often say to someone (or think it), "You make me mad!" ... we should look carefully at what's going on there: unless you give permission to someone, they can't "make you mad".

You're in charge of your own life - someone can only, "... make you mad ..." if you let them do it ... give them permission ... give them charge over that portion of your life and reactions, right?

And when your relationship with a former loved person has been broken, one of your jobs is to put to one side the judgements and opinions that such a person had about you - you are in charge of your life, now.

That relationship is part of the past ... can you find it within your heart to bury it?

While it's hard on one's pocket book to lose one's employment, it's also hard on one's psyche to be in such a situation, especially if it was not of one's owm choice.

There also ... rejection ... and in a situation that is highly important in the lives of most of us.

Do you have a loved one, or several, who are understanding and empathetic, who's a good listener and able to put themselves into your shoes, so to speak ... and know(s) how to keep her/his/their mouth(s) shut?

Can you talk to such a person? I hope so.

Have you had a connection with a clergy person, with whom you feel comfortable? Who'll listen, feel a sense of understanding and offer comfort, and stick with you through your pilgrimage to improved mental and psychological (plus financial) health ... and not offer a number of pre-cooked solutions (especially of the rather glib kind)?

I hope so.

Sometimes, though we've lived in a comfortable, airy, house, lit with wide windows (plus dependable electric lighting, as necessary)...

... we may choose to slip into a dark closet and more or less consider that we're locked in, and that the world is a place of unrelieved darkness.

Please believe us when we say that it ain't so ... you'll look back at your feelings just now, after you get your feet back under yourself, and wonder how you could have felt this way!

I was coming back from a long trip the other night and had stopped for a sleep (and usually when I do that, when I awake I'm immediately aware of where I am ... but that time, I looked around, asked myself where I was ... and it took a few seconds to realize that I was in my car ... I guess that I'd gone into deep sleep - for a couple of hours or so).

As I neared home, a bit of light began to appear on the landscape, and developed as I travelled, until one could see buildings, woodlots, trees and fields.

Can you imagine how amazed someone would be at such a sight if they had never known any view of the world other than that which we see as we travel along a road in a car at night?

Can you beleive that the view of the world that you have at the moment is something like that?

Just remember ... people - many people - have said that sometimes the darkest hour of the night ...

... is just before the dawn.

Trust in life.

Expect the dawn!!

It's beautiful!!

ole joyful former clergyperson - whose divorce pretty well screwed up his career

P.S. I lost my spouse and was told that my job would cease in a few months: all in one week.

o j

P.P.S. Do you know that many of us have written some things about ourselves in a profile, that one can read if one clicks on their "My page" portion of a thread that they write?

And often can send messages privately, as well, should we so choose.

o j

P.P.P.S. to Hayjud,

Can you provide a link to the thread where Kerry posted ... was it here or on another forum?

o j

P.P.P.P.S. to ole joyful,

Haven't you heard that *two* P.S.'s are all that're allowed?

Wake up, man - smell the coffee!

o j
hayjud_mn
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Ole Joyful, At least your after-thoughts come to you before you hit the SUBMIT button! Mine are always after...

The thread refered to is the one the was started by Granlan_tx
Undersdanding Suicide ..why why why

It's still on the first page.
justlinda
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry....suicide isn't the answer.
{{gwi:1786243}}
pfllh
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Bumping up where they might see. Perhaps GardenWeb administrators have additional info to contact them.

KERRY, some problems can be solved and some are just meant to let them go. Do you have anyone to confide in that you feel wouldn't be judging you. If not, call that number. It can't hurt.
Maybe just talking it out, some sense can be made of it but one problem at a time. None of us can solve multiple problems all in one. We all have to take one step at a time and days where it is a baby step. It's so much easier not to fall if there is a hand to take ours when we feel like we're falling.
Lots of hands have reached out, just grab hold and hang on tight. We'll walk together.
Please know you do have a place and a reason for living.
Lynn
intherain
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Bumping this up.
User
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry, I have been where you are mentally and recently tried to off myself - luckily I didn't have the right medication to do myself in. It's not my time to go yet. I leave that to a higher power.

It's rough, sometimes, when you are not feeling well mentally and life gets to be unbearable. Your family is better off WITH YOU.

KT has given me so much support and I am grateful for it.

I hope there are some words that can reach you inside to help you. Please go to emergency now and tell them you want to hurt yourself or go to your family physician and tell the receptionist you want to kill yourself - believe me you will be seen by a doctor. You need to talk and keep talking. Maybe something has changed for you physically and your medication needs adjustment. If you go and talk to a doctor, nurse - someone!!! you will get support. My family doctor has been incredibly supportive and very understanding. The follow up care has been phenomenal.

Please go to emergency or walk into your family doctors office now. This is not one of those feelings that fix themselves in a day or two.

Keep talking to us - we want to talk to you too. You can email any of us privately - I am going out to work shortly but Ole Joyful is home and very understanding - he has experience helping folk.

We are hear for you and we care. I care. Please start talking.

Peggy
matti5
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry,

There are so many people that care about you, please reach out, we are only a call or e-mail away.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. To you it may not seem temporary, but please know that it is!!!

My grandfather committed suicide when I was 10 years old, I am now in my 50's and still suffer from the pain of it, as does the rest of my family.

There is a story of a young man who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, but a second or two after jumping realized that as bleak as his situation was, he wanted to live. He knew with the support of his family, friends and professionals, that he could get through this very difficult time in his life. He quickly positioned himself in such a way that he survived without any serious injuries. He is now doing fine and is actively counseling others in need.

Please reach out to us Kerry.

Sending you big hugs!
Cheryl
Vique_Pa
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
bumping it up. vique
taigen_gw
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry...many hearts and hands are reaching out to hold you and help you. Please find someone or a place you feel comfortable to talk.
Taigen
judy_jay
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Bumping this up.
lydia1959
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Kerry, if the antidepressants aren't working.. try another. If you've already tried several, then get a full blood workup. Depression is also a sign of Hypothyroidism and other diseases. Treat the disease and the depression goes away.

Check back in and let us know how you are doing.
golfergrrl
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Matti posted about a young man who had second thoughts after he jumped from the GG Bridge.
I know this young man and he's made the most of his second chance.
I firmly believe that there is a solution to every problem.
pfllh
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Anyone received an email?
Lynn
joyfulguy
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Hi Kerry,

There are many thoughtful, considerate, caring people on this forum, that send good thoughts and hopes to other participants when they are having problems, illness, or are hurting on behalf of difficulties being undergone by their loved ones, etc. ... and quite a number offer prayers on others' behalf when they are undergoing stress and choose to share it.

Also, they have undergone a great variety of experiences in living, including much confusion, hurt and pain, sometimes of the physical or mental kind, and sometimes of emotional and spiritual nature. Many offer some suggestions that others may not have thought of, or didn't look at from various perspectives but which they find quite helpful - that lowers the pressure on them substantially.

I've been known to suggest on here (as have others) that two or three heads are better than one ... even if they are cabbage! And when dozens, scores or even hundreds of concerned people offer their good ideas, suggestions, etc. usually some that show up turn out to be really useful ones.

Some desperate people may look at a suggestion and think that it has just the answer that they need and accept it holus bolus, without examination, or even discussion with the originator, sort of like a drowning person grabbing any life preserver ... and sometimes it turns out to have been less than very useful. Perhaps if they'd examined the situation, considering various aspects of it, esecially in discussion with someone who knows them well, they could have worked out a somewat similar course of action, which was re-worked to be more relevant for their particular situation.

Which would likely result in the problem being resolved more successfully than if a ready-made solution had been followed without careful examination and some amendments.

By the way ... I've often said to folks, even strangers, that one of the best stress-relievers around is some humour (that isn't aimed at someone's ribs) here and there. That when people in an office are going crazy with work, running around like a chicken with its head cut off, as Dad used to say ... when someone says some silly little thing and everyone chuckles or laughs a bit ...

... the emotional pressure has gone down several notches, and everyone feels better, going about the same tsks as before, but with a lighter heart.

While it may well be extremely difficult to find a story or situation which a person considerng taking their own life would find funny, I wonder whether, if someone in that situation could find something to laugh about, it might well help them feel somewhat more optimistic about their life and reduce their resolution to end it somewhat.

I send good thoughts and hopes that you may consider some things which will help you feel that life is not as bad as you've been thinking, and some prayers that some rays of sunshine may penetrate that dark hole in which you've seen yourself to be, just now.

I have faith that you may come to believe that there will be some, in fact, many beautiful days ahead for you, should you choose to continue that life that's been yours, up till now.

Plese don't put out the light shining from your candle - maybe it can help some other people find light for their path and some beauty in their days in future.

May God give you, and help you find, a blessing, today.

ole joyful
dirt_yfingernails
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Wishing you much love and peace, Kerry. Please reach out to someone.
molly109
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Hi Kerry - just saw this today, and want you to know
I am one more who cares about you.

Please hang in there, talk to us, or anyone. There is
light at the end of every tunnel - sometimes it just
takes a bit to locate it.

Hugs
gneegirl
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Oh, my Goodness; please change your thoughts about this. We ALL go through life altering events that we thought we never could get over. I know that often there are all types of factors that cause one person to think suicide, while another thinks of ways to get over the hurdle. If you can't think of the latter, by all means, talk to someone - preferably a professional. If you don't like one, go to another and let that 2nd person know why you were not satisfied with the first one.

The real reason I posted is a story of a young person (early adult) that tried to carry out his thoughts of suicide. Fortunatly, he survived - those were his words. His method was quite violent and left permanent results - but he survived!! After listening to him, and reading his full story, one of have thought that he would not have survived. That only solidifies my thoughts that one does not have control over their time to go.

I wish I could remember this guy's name - I'd post his story. He now visits schools, etc. to let people know that there are safe alternatives. He is very happy that it didn't work and he now has a full and happy life. He did get professional help and now knows that it wasn't his time - he couldn't control that, no matter how hard he tried.

Listen to everyone here - there is love everywhere, and lessons to be learned from every situation. Just think, then next time you are faced with a similar situation, you will have the strength from having mastered getting the last one.

Life hurts sometimes. But it also can be the best thing going. As I said in the beginning, we all go through some hard times. It's our coping skills that help to get us through. We all have the ability to cope. Some people just need help doing that. That's not a bad thing, believe me.

I wish you the best - hugs all the way around. Take your life and love it - embrace it for all that you can do with it, for you and all those around you. Suicide is a very violent thing - for you and all those around you. AND, it doesn't serve the purpose. There are truly healthy ways for you to feel better.

Some of the kind people here and given some resources. If you have a hotline or something in your town,try that. By all means though, keep talking to everyone. Believe me, there are people out there that want to listen, and that can go a long way to helping or helping you find help.

Another BIG HUG!

gneegirl...
pkramer60
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Big bump
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
(((((Kerry)))))

Gayle
minivanmom
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Bumping. Please let us know you are ok.

Donna
cheerful1_gw
18 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
Bumping this up - how are you?

kerrymsc...your post on the suicide thread

Comments (27)

hayjud_mn

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