I've lost my sister.....

13 years ago

I'm feeling very sad today; my sister died last night. She had been very ill for a week or so (she lives in another state). Her son, (living in another country) called our younger sister and me to tell us that the cancer had returned with a vengeance, and she was on life support. She was kept pain-free, for which I am thankful, but I am missing her. I haven't seen her for a few years, but we called fairly often. A few years ago, she spent some time with me and we had such a marvelous time together. I am feeling sorry for me, I guess, that I can't exchange political jokes with her, etc. I think I must have been thinking that there might be a miracle and she would live, but now it's over, and I'm sad.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (72)

heatherinohio
13 years ago
I am so sorry to hear this. Sending my deepest condolences and a very large hug. ((((Phyllis))))

It sounds like you had a nice close relationship with her that will give you many wonderful memories of her.
nodakgal
13 years ago
I am so sorry Phyllis.
I know how it hurts so bad.
((((Phyllis))))
Related Discussions
I've lost my mojo...
Q
Comments (24)
I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels like that sometimes! We all work so hard on our gardens and have dreams of what it could be and then when nature throws hail and bad weather at us - it is just a little hard to accept.... If it were not for my newest front bed around the pin oak tree next to my driveway (which still looks great), I don't know what I would do! I did lose a bunch of heuchera, but most of the hosta in this bed look great - as opposed to the horrible way the hosta in the back yard look. The ones that look the best are Francee, Blue Mammoth, June, Guacamole, Christmas Tree, Pizazz, Paul's Glory, Abiqua Drinking Gourd, Dream Queen, & Krossa Regal. All of my potted babies from the White Oak sale look great and with the cool weather we had on Sunday, they all got planted (YAY!) Everything Ken says about gardening around maples has proved true for me... I just moved a few sad-looking backyard hosta and their rootballs were full of fine, maple roots and their leaves are crispy and ugly. Maybe I will switch to SEDUM there instead!!! BettyLu
...See More
I think I've lost my mind....two extremes
Q
Comments (25)
If you're thinking Arts & Crafts bungalow, you can always look to some of the originals, many of which now have painted trims (though honestly I *wish* more of them still had their original stained trim, ours included!) It was also very common to paint trim and cabinetry (and thus use "lower grade" wood, which in those days meant redwood or fir instead of oak) in the kitchen, bath, and bedrooms and have stained trim and casework in the dining and living rooms, and that worked fine. That might be a way to manage costs while still getting the look you love. And I've seen some gorgeous kitchen remodels using cherry or fir cabinets with painted white trim and white built-ins that mix it up a bit in houses where the trim had already been painted but people didn't want white kitchens (and didn't want the cost of replacing original trim!) Fir in particular is one of my faves with soapstone, though it is a soft wood so it will ding. We also have a painted gray and white kitchen, which mixes it up a bit in a different way. There's no rule that painted cabs must be white---and honestly, a lot of the reason that listings for houses of that age have painted cabinets (especially white) is that it's a very easy way to clean up and "modernize" older cabinets for resale. (At least, that happens a lot where we live---people paint and put on new counters to sell an older kitchen.) Some of those were probably put in as stained kitchens, but had woods that aren't "trendy" these days and thus dated the kitchens. I love our painted kitchen, but if we'd had the resources, we would have seriously considered QS oak or fir (even the fir was far more costly than our paint-grade poplar). I'd be sure you're okay with the tradeoff before switching gears.
...See More
My husband thinks I've lost my mind
Q
Comments (50)
I don't care for any of the paint samples on the walls. They only highlight the pink tones in the paneling by being so gold or brown/gold. I also wouldn't do burgundy, as you have so much of it already in the room. I would first consider finding a color that is the same as the background color in the paneling - a soft creamy ivory tone, and just use that. The entry area feels kind of dark and closed, so a light color there would work. I would then take the same paint and paint all the ceilings, both in the entry and the living room. The white ceiling only works to make the walls look even more pinky-peach in contrast. By painting out the ceiling in the paneling background color, you will lessen that considerably. I would get a larger area rug for the entry, something with a creamy field and burgundy accents, which again will tie into the LR but keep the entry lighter in feel. I believe I see a cabinet of some kind in the entry area where the coats are? Be sure you have a lamp there for some warm lighting for the entry. I would take the four small flower pix on the paneled wall in the LR and hang them in the entry in a grouping. I would change out the mats to a neutral, to show off the flowers themselves - you don't even see them in the burgundy matting. The frames are fine. By bringing some of the burgundy onto that entry wall, you will introduce the burgundy color in the entry that will then lead the eye into the LR. I would take the larger piece in burgundy matting and use that over the fireplace - having two pieces of art on that fireplace wall that are matted in green kind of makes it feel like you were trying to match the art, but they are not hanging together so it feels disconnected. I would take all those balls out of the tall vases on the fireplace and puit them in a bowl somewhere - they are lost in those vases. Then find some tall, fountain-like grasses and greens to put in the vases for softness. It seems like you have so many great family photos. I would have them all framed in complimentary frames and use the large paneled sections behind the couch to hang them in a striking grouping. By using those instead of the burgundy matted collection, you will stop highlighting the color of the paneling, and instead will have a varied grouping of photos that will become the focal point. I would also move the photo screen and tuck it in a corner or near something so it doesn't feel like it is just floating in the room by itself. I love the little chest you have by the entry, but I don't like it there. It is heavy and dark, and feels like a barricade to the front door area. I would remove that and leave that entry open. Maybe you could move it over to the other side to where the little green bench is now? Try to get some pillows for the couches that are creamier in their background color, to lighten the feel of those pieces. They could still have a print or a stripe, but should have a lighter overall background that brings in the wall color. Something like this, tho this particular pillow may not be right, but the idea of a lighter background is the key. crewel pillows I don't see much ambient lighting in the room - at least in the views we have, only one lamp on an end table, and that is too small. Put that lamp on the little chest that I had you move over to the other side of the room. Get a bigger lamp for that table, perhaps another lamp to sit on the sewing machine (I think) that is behind the couch acting as a console table. More lighting located lower and that is warmer will also affect how the paneling is perceived, and will keep the eye more focused into the center of the room and away from the walls. I think your room has lots of wonderful things going for it. Settling the entry will help, and then tweaking the LR space and its accessories will make it all feel finished and cohesive.
...See More
I've lost my enthusiasm, so here's a cat.
Q
Comments (127)
Ahhhhhh! More animals! So incredibly cute! Love that funny, Oly! That's exactly how it is with our youngest, who got the squirt bottle after him three times this evening. Such a stinker, but when he does this, all is forgiven.
...See More
jel48
13 years ago
I'm so sorry Phyllis. I lost one of my sisters just under a year ago, also to cancer. I didn't get to see her often in later years, but I miss her at the oddest times. It just hits me sometimes. (((((Phyllis)))))
hayjud_mn
13 years ago
I was concerned about you because you haven't been around lately.
I am so sorry. Loosing a sister must be very hard. I'm glad you have a lot of fond memories. Someday the sadness you feel will turn to warm loving memories.
(((Phyllis)))
sandy_in_ia
13 years ago
(((Phyllis))) I am so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers.
taigen_gw
13 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, I know how heartbreaking it is as I lost my sister a year ago. She too was very ill for a long time and I take solice in knowing that she is now pain free......but I agree...it is a very sad thing to have happen.
susanjf_gw
13 years ago
lost my half sister in 2000, and stil miss her..you have my sympathy and (((for the family)))
danihoney
13 years ago
My deepest sympathies Phyllis. I'm sad for you too. It must be so hard to lose a sister.
(((((Hugs)))))
FlamingO in AR
13 years ago
I am really sorry, Phyllis. And I totally understand your grief, it's so normal to miss them and wish for more time.

(((((Phyllis)))))
gadgets
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have 5 sisters and I know that I'd have a rough time if I lost any one of them. So many times, sisters are more like friends, so it's a double loss in one fell swoop.

Shirley
Cherryfizz
13 years ago
Hugs Phyllis, I am sorry to hear your sister passed away. You have my condolences.

Anne
wildchild
13 years ago
I am sorry for your loss Phyllis.
Granlan_TX
13 years ago
I know you're sad, Phyllis, and I'm sorry to hear your dear sister lost her battle with Cancer. Sisters are the best and can feel close even though not living close.

(((((Phyllis)))))
pattico_gw
13 years ago
Sorry to hear this Phyllis...I lost my brother a couple weeks ago...We weren't extremely close but I still miss him..I'm sure it must be hard for you.

Hugs...

patti
Lindsey_CA
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. My sisters are both still alive, but my brother died in 1994. I still catch myself thinking that I should call him to tell him about something I've read, or seen on tv... The "missing" part never goes away, but the hurt of the loss does lessen in time. Your sister will be in your heart forever.
bengardening
13 years ago
Phyliss my thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my sister in 1988 and I still miss her so much we never spent much time together but the last few months before she passed away we spent 3 timess together and I was so glad for that. When I here the song Let me watch my children grow to see what they become I always start to cry because she never got the chance to do that. She died right before her 41st birthday. She had pancreatic cancer but she only knew it for a month. We looked a lot alike and I still have people come up to me that ask if she was my sister. I still miss her so much but it does get easier
Kathsgrdn
13 years ago
((((Phyllis)))) I'm so sorry.
carol_in_california
13 years ago
I am so sad for you, Phyllis..... I think sisters have a special bond.
I am sorry for your loss.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
matti5
13 years ago
I'm so sorry Phyllis. Sending big hugs to you!
linda_in_iowa
13 years ago
I am so sorry, Phyllis.
vala55
13 years ago
So sorry to hear this. You have to think of the pain as sweet sorrow. Sounds like you had a good relationship with her. You were lucky to have had that.
susan_on
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, Phyllis. I'm glad you had many happy times with her, and will have many happy memories when the pain lessens.
sjerin
13 years ago
I'm so sorry to read this. There's nothing like having a sister and I'm glad the two of you got along so well together, though that makes the missing part all the harder. My condolences to you and the rest of your family.
lindaohnowga
13 years ago
joann23456
13 years ago
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this.
Mickey15
13 years ago
I'm very sorry for your loss Phyllis.
gardenspice
13 years ago
Hold on to those marvelous memories and may they bring you peace.
I'm so sorry.
Best thoughts,
GardenSpice
sooey
13 years ago
Phyllis, I am so sorry for your loss. Hold her memory close to your heart. Sending good thoughts your way.

sooey
petaloid
13 years ago
So sorry to hear this. Hard as it is, I know for sure you have the strength to get through this tough time. (((Phyllis)))
nanatricia
13 years ago
I too am so very sorry!!(HUGS)
Jamie_LA
13 years ago
I'm sooo sorry Phyllis!
marilyn_c
13 years ago
I'm so very sorry, Phyllis.
moonie_57 (8 NC)
13 years ago
I'm so sorry you have lost your sister, Phyllis. Can only imagine that pain.
cynic
13 years ago
Phyllis, I'm so saddened to hear this. I can imagine how badly you feel. Please know my thoughts are with you, your sister and your family and friends all during your grieving. Take care of yourself.
LorifromUtah
13 years ago
I'm sorry Phyliss
country_bumpkin_al
13 years ago
I'm so sorry,Phyllis! I hope you can find comfort in the wonderful memories you have.
JoanMN
13 years ago
I'm so, so sorry, Phyllis. (((((((((((((Phyllis))))))))))))
Coosie
13 years ago
I am so very sorry to read this. My sympathies to you and your family.
dirtundermyfingers
13 years ago
Phyllis, I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sure that your sister was a big part of your life. ((Phyllis))

Stacie
minnie_tx
13 years ago
So sorry to hear this HUGS!!!
mamatoad
13 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, Phyllis. I lost my oldest sister last Sept. and I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and talk to her. May you find comfort in the memories of the good times you shared.
lattefairy
13 years ago
I am very sorry for your loss! Hugs going your way.
dotmom
13 years ago
I'm so sorry. There is a special bond between sisters. I hope you can find peace in your memories of her and in knowing she is well and whole, where she is now, and you'll see each other again. (((((((Hugs))))))))
deemarie5500
13 years ago
I cannot imagine how sad and difficult this must be for you. May you find the strength needed....
Dee
minivanmom
13 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.

Minivanmom
trishaw
13 years ago
I just saw this, I am so sorry! You are in my thoughts.

Trish
tami_ohio
13 years ago
Phyllis, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Tami
Jodi_SoCal
13 years ago
Phyllis, I hope you find peace and live on with the happiest memories of your dear sister.

Jodi-
susie53_gw
13 years ago
I am so sorry for the lose of your sister. I know how you feel. I lost my sister five years ago on my youngest daughter's birthday. It does get easier as time goes on. The memories are something you will always have for the rest of your life. I will be praying for you in the coming days and months..

Susie
barb_from_pa
13 years ago
You have my sympathy, Phyllis. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

I've lost my sister.....

Comments (72)

Related Discussions

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US