Strange, I'd definitely get locks on the gates. Plus, a Trespassing Sign and one that says beware of dogs.

Oh, my goodness, Susan. That IS weird. I agree with you that you should say something (it doesn't have to be mean or challenging ... who knows). This is so dangerous - for her, for the child, and for you. Very, very strange. Is it just your property or has your neighbor seen her on others', as well? Yikes.

I would go over and speak to the child's parent(s).

This lady sounds like she has dementia or perhaps she suffered a stoke snce you say this behavior is new for her.

If I was her family member I would want to be told.

I know this is different than your situation...but...at my last house my neighbor told me she liked walking around my back yard when we were at work to look at my flowers and if anyone asked...she was gonna say she was looking for her cat. :0) When we put a for sale sign on our house, this lady asked me what I was gonna do with my flowers. I said they went with the house, it was part of it's appeal. She scolded me for leaving my "babies" and said she was going to dig them up while I was at work to "save" them. :0) Yes....I had a talk to her about digging up my flowers. :0) and no, this woman is not mental....just a flower lover....I swear! :0)

If you spoke to this woman....I bet everything would be cleared up!!! :0) and lock your gates. Also that child would not like foster care....I would not report her. A child raising a child is not that unusual...

Wildchild is absolutely right - you need to contact one of her family members and also file a report with the police. She is acting as if she can't think right - a clear sign of advanced dementia.

I think you need to tell her in no uncertain terms that she is forbidden from coming onto your property. And I would have a witness, too. Your homeowner's insurance wouldn't be happy if she came over and got hurt or bitten. (Or even claimed that she hurt herself on your property, if you're not there, it's her word against yours.) I might even ask the local police to keep an eye out for her, it wouldn't hurt for them to be aware of the problem.

And ask your neighbor to be extra vigilant, too, watching your place for you. And while you say this is new behavior, maybe you just never knew about it before.

Locking everything up is a great start.

We had a neighbor in FL who would take her kid to all the other yards every morning and let him play on their toys and equipment, it was very worrisome. We had to talk to her when she would leave our gates open and our dog got free. After everyone in the neighborhood finally had words with her, she moved on to some other place. It was really weird.

Good luck!

My dogs are too small to hurt anyone (3 pounds and 5 pounds), but I'm afraid they themselves will get hurt. Of course they're only outside (gated) when I'm home, but sometimes I am in the back. I did call the police, and they don't want to come until I talk to her, even though I explained that she just didn't seem "right". I said that I was only home by fluke today, and that I am at work whenever she comes around (I was on vacation the first time). I don't know who that boy is, but if I talk to child protective services, I think they'll recommend to the parent that they get another sitter. I may speak to her husband, I've never done anything but wave to him, so that will be awkward. I mean, if I'm home again and she comes, I won't be speechless, but I feel funny about knocking on her door and telling her to stay off my property.

I had thought she was just very confused, but DH said that she obviously knew she was doing something wrong because when I entered the garage, she froze and without even looking at me, she just took off. Actually, I just assumed the boy is her grandson, I have no idea, really.

She doesn't sound right. I agree with Wildchild. Let the parents know. I'd be cautious contacting authorities at least at this point. Seems to me the place to start is with the kids parents and at least find out a little more as to what is the situation before going on to other steps.

I have no idea who the parents are, or even what the names of any of them are. Their house is around the bend, so I never see anyone come or go, I wouldn't know the parents of the kid if I tripped over them.

I agree with Wildchild,talk to her family before you do anything else.
Why is it that just because someone is acting a little strange or out of the norm it is automatically assumed they are a little "off"??
My mother had the beginning stages of Dementia.She was "normally" a very friendly person,never met a stranger and talked to everyone(sometimes even to dogs and other animals LOL).The dementia only exaggerated her normal personality,which may have been annoying or even strange to someone who didn't know her or hadn't known her before the dementia.She wasn't harmful and she wasn't "off".This may be the same scenario for the "trespasser". Maybe she just thinks your yard and greenhouse are pretty or your dogs are cute? Maybe she just needs a friend?
It would be a shame to notify Child protective services or the authorities on someone who is more than likely harmless.Is the child with her when she does these things?Once you talk to the family you will be able to get an idea what is going on and go from there.I know if she were my mother I would want to be notified of a problem before anyone called the authorities!
If you are worried,lock your gates.I doubt she would break in if the gate was locked.Do you keep your dogs outside when you are not at home? If so I would think locking the gates would be a good thing anyway and by all means put up a "beware of dogs" sign on all the gates and at the front door.JMHO

Yes, she takes the child with her every time, and she's teaching him to go into latched gates and go through the greenhouse and anything else she or he want to go through. I feel she could lead him into a dangerous situation. But I do not know who the parents are, and I have no way of finding out.

But I have a nice neighbour who doesn't work outside the house, and she said she will watch at the time this lady usually comes, and will come over and talk to her if she sees her. If it persists, I might see if I can change my lunch time, so I can be home to catch her... and then it will be easy for me to address her.

That is really worrisome. I know this is difficult since you're usually at work during the day - but it might be helpful to keep a camera handy and take a photo of her on your property or inside your garage.

If she only comes on weekdays she might be babysitting while the parents are at work. Does she every come over on your days off?

Maire cate.. the first time I noticed it was when we were having a party. There were 11 people on my patio, but she came right up to the gate with that boy and was talking to him as if we weren't even there. My son, confused, loudly said "HELL-OOO??" and she left. I was in the house and my daughter came and told me.

I just sent my camera to Spain (with a friend...lol), but I was thinking of getting a security camera anyway. She could have been going back there all summer for all I know.. we are not home in the day time and neither are most of the neighbours. The one that is home says she will watch now. But it seems like this lady is very comfortable going into my fenced yard. So weird. I was really hoping a police officer would have a conversation with her.

She is "most likely" harmless....making an uneducated guess,this female has the beginning stages of Alzheimers..sounds to me like she is more afraid of you than you are of her.

"I have no idea who the parents are,or even what the names of any of them are. Their house is around the bend, so I never see anyone come or go, I wouldn't know the parents of the kid if I tripped over them"

My opinion and I'm not trying to be sarcastic.
Go around the bend to her house and see if they are there.If they are,talk to them and tell them what is going on and your concerns for the woman's state of mind and their son's well being! If they aren't there,talk to the husband or whoever IS there.Obviously the police aren't going to do anything until you talk to her or someone in her family.
Then I would put padlocks on my gates! Problem solved.:)

Oh, I wouldn't think you're being sarcastic, Lilliepad. I meant to say that this lady lives in that house around the bend, and I'm guessing the parents drop this kid off at her house and pick him up. Because I can't see the house I have no idea what time all this happens. The parents of this kid do not live in the neighbourhood. But I will be getting locks... probably tomorrow.

She probably is harmless, but I don't want her to get hurt here, or take something f ours that appeals to her (even if she means no harm), and I don't want her even scaring my dogs.

Lilliepad is right. You know where she lives. Go knock on the door,introduce yourself and talk to her DH or other adult member of the household. They are neighbors for heaven's sake. Calling child protective services because they came onto your property is over the top at this point. So is involving the police. Just because she "knew" to be afraid of you when you came out doesn't mean she isn't "confused". He family needs to be made aware of what she is doing. She may be at the stage where she is either covering up her odd behavior at home or they don't notice the progression of the odd behavior because they see her every day and are (or choose to be)blind to those moments.

I will probably go over there, but my thinking about calling CPS was because of her very poor judgement when she's with the child, not because I'm protecting my yard. But I probably won't call.

A neighbour is just telling me that this lady has a crazy husband, and he wouldn't even let the mailman deliver mail because he doesn't want anyone on his property. I guess I have to try, but I don't think he is going to be very helpful.

I would report it to the police just so it will be on their records. I don't mean file a compliant, just let them know what is happening. If they have other reports it may mean she is deteriorating mentally.

As much as I want her to stop... I do feel sorry for her.

I've read several comments about how this woman is "probably harmless" or "intends no harm." That may very well be true, but even though she doesn't intend to do/cause harm doesn't mean that she won't. Her inability to reason properly could cause her to allow the child to do things that could potentially cause harm to him.

If she is having this strange behavior and her husband has had this type of behavior I would notify the police, if you haven't seen this child's parents, how do you know if they are around?

I would be concerned about the kids

Terilyn, I just assumed the parents were around, I don't know what the story is there. I think it's very weird that anyone would trust their child with someone who has such poor judgement. My neighbour said that the family may be in denial. And Lindsey, I agree with you. For example, there is a fenced in yard down the street with a dog who is very territorial. If she goes into that yard, she and the child would probably be attacked.

What a big problem susan.

Certainly the child is learning things that could get him into big trouble if he continues when he is older.

I don't know what the answer is, but something has to be done. I agree you need locks on your gates. We keep locks on ours too, because of the dog, but occassionally the neighbour kids jump the fence. We have asked them not to, and that helped some but not completely. Usually it is because their ball got over the fence. Often they come to the door and we get it for them, but if we don't get to the door fast enough to suit them, they have got over the fence. They are more agile than I am, to say the least.

All the best and please keep us posted.

A couple of random thoughts here. Having alzheimers--if that were the cause of her behavior--doesn't make her 'harmless'. Many people with it become VERY violent--sometimes apparently for no reason. Some don't. But there' s no way of knowing.

The husband doesn't want people on his property, not even the mailman? THAT sounds dangerous to YOU--DO NOT go there to speak to him alone. Take a large, strong man or a law enforcement official with you if you feel you have to go. And if the man makes any sort of threat--even a vague one--towards you, MAKE A POLICE REPORT about it, just in case.

You've got 2 people who you're reporting have been known to exhibit odd behavior. You very well could be dealing with people on drugs (who often have lost the mental capacity to determine what is and is not appropriate). Or they could be two very mentally ill people who are incapable of making good decisions or reacting properly. None of us really know what the situation is here, but it's definitely not normal, and could be dangerous for you.

If you do decide to handle this yourself by speaking with these people, please, please protect yourself. Take a witness with you, someone big and strong who will be able to physically protect you if that becomes necessary. Carry your cell phone in your hand, and at the first sign of any kind of trouble or threat, CALL 9-11!

She was in your garage, reaching for your dogs? That scares the heck out of me.

What if they bit her? What if she gave them something toxic?

As azzalea said, protect yourself (and your pets)!

I agree with Azzalea, one of our patients twisted a CNA's wrist so hard she had to be on light duty for months and a couple months later another one broke this same woman's wrist. She now has permanent nerve damage. We've been kicked, hit, bitten, spat on by our Alztheimer's patients.

I hope she quits coming to your house, whatever the reason, that would just creep me out.

We purchased a game camera that would take a photo when triggered by motion. We were just checking to see who comes on the farm when we aren't there. Sure enough we caught several trips made by car thieves who were removing derelict cars without permission. I think it's made by Moultrie, good resolution, can do video - shows time date, even moon phase and temp...

A neighbour is just telling me that this lady has a crazy husband, and he wouldn't even let the mailman deliver mail because he doesn't want anyone on his property. I guess I have to try, but I don't think he is going to be very helpful.

I'd be very hesitant to knock on that door. Who knows what someone that paranoid is capable of?

How ironic that her husband is supposedly paranoid about trespassers! I'd also get a game camera.

Blessings,
Haley

I know, Haley. He won't let the mailman on his property, but his wife hangs out in my fenced yard?

I tied the gates today, and they were not tampered with. But I do think I will get a camera... I was thinking about it before this anyway. Are those game cameras motion activated?

That's horrible that you're having to deal with this, but get locks on the gate(s) ASAP. No one should step inside your fence/gates if you don't want them there.

I have locks on all three gates going to the fenced back yard, and I keep them locked at all times. They have code numbers, so I don't have to carry a key.

I am absolutly amazed at the number of "normal" people who don't have enough sense to shut and secure a gate, immediatly if not faster, as soon as they walk through it. Open gate, step through, shut and secure gate; it seems so easy to me.

"Oh I was just going to be a minute." is the usual response I get when I have to get up in someones face about not shuting the gate tightly (before I got locks). My dogs can get out, be gone, or get killed in a few seconds. They're hunters; it's out the gate and after something before you can blink an eye, and there's no calling them back.

We fixed the fence and gates so none of the utility meters are inside the fenced yard. All the meter readers can check them from outside the gate. I've "briefed" every delivery person, and after having to practically put one guy up against the wall, I think they've finally learned to not come in my gate, unlocked or not. The front door is, ha-ha, in front of the house, by the driveway. Why don't they take the packages there?

I'd like to leave the one gate we use from the driveway to the mudroom unlocked, and if I'm home I sometimes do. Still, I have to keep an eye on it all day long.

You need to consider this a top priority and get on it. Sounds like dementia to me, and who would give her the responsibility of a child if she is beginning Alz.

You're sure right about your insurance. That's the last thing you need--for one of them to get hurt on your property. She must be sad and lonesome.